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LORD    FISHER 

MEMORIES 
AND    RECORDS 


VOLUME  ONE 


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ADMIRAL  OF  THE   FLEET  LORD   FISHER,  O.C.B.,  O.M.,  ETC.,   1917 


MEMORIES 
AND  RECORDS 

BY 

ADMIRAL  OF  THE  FLEET 

LORD    FISHER 


IN  TWO  VOLUMES 

WITH  PORTRAITS  AND 

ILLUSTRATIONS 


VOLUME  ONE 

MEMORIES 


NEW  >lBJr  YORK 
GEORGE  H.  DORAN  COMPANY 


COPYRIGHT,    I92O, 
BY  GEORGE   H.   DORAN   COMPANY 


PRINTED  IN  THE   UNITED   STATES  OF  AMERICA 


Library 


iqao 
v.l 

Readers  of  this  book  will  quickly  observe  that  Admiral 
of  the  Fleet  Lord  Fisher  has  small  faith  in  the  -printed  word; 
and  those  who  have  enjoyed  the  privilege  of  having  "his  fist 
shaken  in  their  faces"  will  readily  admit  that  the  printed 
word,  though  faithfully  taken  down  from  his  dictation,  must 
lack  a  large  measure  of  the  power  —  the  "aroma,"  as  he  calls 
it  —  which  his  personality  lends  to  his  spoken  word. 

Had  Lord  Fisher  been  allowed  his  own  way,  there  would 
have  been  no  Book.  Not  for  the  first  time  in  his  career, 
the  need  of  serving  his  country  and  his  country9  s  Navy  has 
over-ridden  his  personal  feeling.  These  "Memories,"  there- 
fore, must  be  regarded  as  a  compromise  ("  the  beastliest  word 
in  the  English  language"  —  see  "The  Times"  of  September 
<)th,  1919)  between  the  No-Book  of  Lord  Fisher's  inclination 
and  the  orderly,  complete  Autobiography  which  the  public 
wishes  to  possess. 

The  book  consists  in  the  main  of  the  author's  ipsissima 
verba,  dictated  during  the  month  of  September,  1919.  One 
or  two  chapters  have  been  put  together  from  fugitive  writings 
which  Lord  Fisher  had  collected  and  printed  (in  noble  and 
eloquently  various  type)  as  a  gift  to  his  friends  after  his 
death.  The  discreeter  passages  of  the  letters  which  he  wrote 
to  Lord  Esher  between  1903  and  1912  illustrate  some  por- 
tions of  the  life's  work  which  —  caring  little  for  the  past  and 
much  for  the  future,1  much  for  the  idea  and  little  for  the 
fact  —  Lord  Fisher  has  successfully  declined  to  describe  in 
his  own  words. 


1  "This  one  thing  I  do,  forgetting  those  things  which  we  behind,  and 
reaching  forth  unto  those  things  which  are  before,  I  press  toward  the  mark."— 
Phil,  iii,  13,  14. 


963G 


I 


^HERE  is  no  plan  nor  se- 
quence! Just  as  the  thoughts 
have  arisen  so  have  they  been 
written  or  dictated!  The  spoken 
word  has  not  been  amended— 
better  the  fragrance  of  the  fresh 
picked  flower  than  trying  to  get 
more  scent  'out  of  it  by  adding 
hot  water  afterwards!  Also  it  is 
more  life-like  to  have  the  first 
impulse  of  the  heart  than  vainly 
to  endeavour  after  studied 
phrases!  Perhaps  the  only  curi- 
osity is  that  I  begin  my  life  back- 


wards  and  leave  my  birth  and 
being  weaned  till  the  end! 

"  The  last  shall  be 

is  good  for  Autobiography! 

I  think  a  text  is  a  good  thing! 
So  I  adopt  the  following  (from 
R.  L.  Stevenson)  as  being  nice 
for  the  young  ones  to  read  what 
follows:— 

To  be  honest,  to  be  kind,  to  earn 
a  little  and  to  spend  a  little  less,  to 
make  upon  the  whole  a  family 
happier  for  his  presence,  to  renounce 
when  that  shall  be  necessary,  and  not 
be  embittered,  to  keep  a  few  friends 
but  those  without  capitulation^  above 
all  on  the  same  grim  condition  to 
keep  friends  with  himself,  here  is  a 
task  for  all  that  a  man  has  of 
fortitude  and  delicacy. 


Tin 


PREFACE 

NOT  long  ago  a  gentleman  enclosed  me  the  manuscript 
of  his  book,  and  asked  me  for  a  preface.  I  had  never 
heard  of  him.  He  reminded  me  of  Mark  Twain  in  a 
similar  case — the  gentleman  in  a  postscript  asked  Mr. 
Twain  if  he  found  fish  good  for  the  brain;  he  had  been 
recommended  it,  he  said.  Twain  replied,  Yes!  and  he 
suggested  his  correspondent  having  whales  for  breakfast! 

One  gentleman  sent  me  a  cheque  for  two  thousand 
guineas,  and  asked  me  to  let  him  have  a  short  article, 
on  any  subject.  I  returned  the  cheque — I  had  never  heard 
of  him  either.  I  have  had  some  most  generous  offers  from 
publishers. 

Sir  George  Reid  said  to  me:  "Never  write  an  Auto- 
biography. You  only  know  one  view  of  yourself — others 
see  you  all  round."  But  I  don't  see  any  harm  in  such 
"Memories"  as  I  now  indite !  In  regard  to  Sir  G.  Reid's 
observation,  there's  one  side  no  one  else  can  see,  and  that's 
"the  insider 

Nothing  in  this  Volume  in  the  least  approaches  the 
idea  of  a  Biography.  Facts  illumined  by  letters,  and  the 
life  divided  into  sections,  to  be  filled  in  with  the  struggles 
of  the  ascent,  seems  the  ideal  sort  of  representation  of  a 
man's  life.  A  friend  once  wrote  me  the  requisites  of  a 
biographer.  Three  qualifications  were: 

(a)  Plenty  of  time  for  the  job. 

(6)  A  keen  appreciation  of  the  work  done. 

(c)  A  devotion  to  the  Hero. 

iz 


x  PREFACE 

And,  as  if  it  didn't  so  much  matter,  he  added — the  biog- 
rapher should  possess  a  high  standard  of  literary  ability. 

But  yet  I  believe  that  the  vindication  of  a  man's  life- 
work  is  almost  an  impossible  task  for  even  the  most  inti- 
mate of  friends  or  the  most  assiduous  and  talented  of 
Biographers,  simply  because  they  cannot  possibly  appre- 
ciate how  great  deeds  have  been  belittled  and  ravaged  by 
small  contemporary  men.  These  yelping  curs  made  the 
most  noise,  as  the  empty  barrels  do!  and  it's  only  long 
afterwards  that  the  truth  emerges  out  of  the  mist  of 
obloquy  and  becomes  history. 

Remember  it's  only  in  this  century  that  Nelson  has 
come  into  his  own. 

FISHER. 


"Sworn  to  no  Party — Of  no  Sect  am  II 
I  can't  be  silent  and  I  will  not  lie  I" 


'Time  and  the  Ocean  and  some  Guiding  Star 
In  High  Cabal  have  made  us  what  we  are!" 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  PAGE 

I    KING  EDWARD  VII  .. 19 

II    "THE  MOON  SWAYS  OCEANS  AND   PROVOKES 

THE  HOUND" 38 

III  ADMIRAL  VON  POHL  AND  ADMIRAL  VON  TIRPITZ  44 

IV  ECONOMY  is  VICTORY 55 

V    THE  DARDANELLES 62 

VI    ABDUL  HAMID  AND  THE  POPE 100 

VII    A  JEU  D'ESPRIT 106 

VIII    NAVAL  WAR  STAFF  AND  ADMIRALTY  CLERKS   .  110 

IX    RECAPITULATION  OF  DEEDS  AND  IDEAS  .     .     .  120 

X    APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA 139 

XI    NELSON 160 

XII    LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        166 

XIII    AMERICANS 219 

XTV    SOME  SPECIAL  MISSIONS 226 

XV    SOME  PERSONALITIES  237 


xii  CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  PAGF. 

XVI    THINGS  THAT  PLEASE  ME       ...     .     .     .  263 

EPILOGUE 271 

INDEX  275 


ILLUSTRATIONS 

LORD  FISHER,  1917 — ADMIRAL  OP  THE  FLEET       Frontispiece 

PAGE 

KING  EDWARD  VII  AND  LORD  FISHER 32 

SIR  JOHN  FISHER  IN  "RENOWN,"  1897  .     ;     .     .     .  33 

THE  FIRST  SEA  LORD.    BY  WILLIAM  NICHOLSON   .     .  80 

THE  KINGFISHER 80 

SIR  JOHN  FISHER  AND  LORD  ROBERTS,  1906      ...  81 

THE  FUNERAL  OF  KING  EDWARD  VII 81 

ADMIRAL  OF  THE  FLEET  LORD  FISHER,  G.C.B.,  O.M.,  etc., 

1917 96 

AGE  14 — MIDSHIPMAN 144 

AGE  19 — LIEUTENANT -  ...  144 

1885 — AGE  41 — POST-CAPTAIN 145 

1904— AGE  63— ADMIRAL 145 

SIR  JOHN  FISHER  AT  THE  HAGUE  PEACE  CONFERENCE, 

MAY,  1899 .     .  240 

THE  ANNIVERSARY  OF  TRAFALGAR 240 

AMERICA  AND  THE  BLOCKADE 241 

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF  OF  THE  MEDITERRANEAN  FLEET, 

1899-1902  241 


MEMORIES 


MEMORIES 

CHAPTER  I 

KING  EDWARD   VII 

KING  EDWAED  had  faith  in  me,  and  so  supported  me 
always  that  it  is  only  natural  I  should  begin  this  book 
with  the  remarks  about  him  which  I  privately  printed 
long  since  for  use  at  my  death;  but  events  have  occurred 
to  alter  that  decision  and  induce  me  to  publish  this  book. 

There  are  more  intimate  touches  than  those  related 
here,  which  I  forbear  to  publish.  There  is  a  limit  to  those 
peculiar  and  pregnant  little  exhibitions  of  a  kind  heart's 
purpose  being  put  in  print.  They  lose  their  aroma. 

In  the  Dictionary  of  National  Biography  there  is  a 
Marginal  Heading  in  the  Life  of  King  Edward  as  fol- 
lows: 

"HIS  FAITH  IN  LORD  FISHER." 

It  is  the  only  personal  marginal  note !  I  now  descant 
upon  it,  not  to  be  egotistical,  but  to  exemplify  one  of 
the  finest  traits  in  King  Edward's  noble  character — with- 
out doubt  I  personally  could  not  be  of  the  very  least 
service  to  him  in  any  way,  and  yet  in  his  belief  of  my 
being  right  in  the  vast  and  drastic  reforms  in  the  Navy 
he  gave  me  his  unfaltering  support  right  through  un- 
swervingly, though  every  sycophantic  effort  was  exhausted 
in  the  endeavour  to  alienate  him  from  his  support  of  me. 

19 


20  MEMORIES 

He  quite  enjoyed  the  numberless  communications  he  got, 
and  the  more  outrageous  the  calumnies  the  more  he 
revelled  in  my  reputed  wickedness !  I  can't  very  well  put 
some  of  them  on  paper,  but  the  Minotaur  wasn't  in  it 
with  me!  Also  I  was  a  Malay!  I  was  the  son  of  a  Cinga- 
lese Princess — hence  my  wicked  cunning  and  duplicity! 
I  had  formed  a  syndicate  and  bought  all  the  land  round 
Rosyth  before  the  Government  fixed  on  it  as  a  Naval 
Base — hence  my  wealth!  How  the  King  enjoyed  my 
showing  him  my  private  income  as  given  to  the  Income 
Tax  Commissioners  was  £382  6s.  lid.  after  the  legal 
charges  for  income  tax,  annuities,  etc.,  were  subtracted 
from  the  total  private  income  of  £750 !  * 

But  King  Edward's  abiding  characteristic  was  his  un- 
failing intuition  in  doing  the  right  thing  and  saying  the 
right  thing  at  the  right  time.  I  once  heard  him  on  the 
spur  of  the  moment  make  a  quite  impromptu  and  totally 
unexpected  speech  to  the  notabilities  of  Malta  which  was 
simply  superb!  Elsewhere  I  have  related  his  visit  to 
Russia  when  I  accompanied  him.  As  Prince  Orloff  said 
to  me,  swept  away  by  King  Edward's  eloquence,  "Your 
King  has  changed  the  atmosphere!" 

King  Edward,  besides  his  wonderful  likeness  to  King 
Henry  the  Eighth,  had  that  great  King's  remarkable  at- 
tributes of  combining  autocracy  with  almost  a  socialistic 
tie  with  the  masses.  I  said  to  His  Majesty  once:  "Sir, 
that  was  a  real  low  form  of  cunning  on  your  Majesty's 
part  sending  to  ask  after  Keir  Hardie's  stomach-ache  I" 
By  Jove,  he  wejit  for  me  like  a  mad  bull!  and  replied: 

*Sir  Julian  Corbett,  the  author  of  the  wonderful  "Seven  Years'  War," 
wrote  to  me  in  past  vituperative  years  as  follows: 

"Yesterday  I  was  asked  if  it  were  really  true  that  you  (Sir  John  Fisher) 
had  sold  the  country  to  Germany!  I  was  able  to  assure  the  questioner  that 
the  report  was  at  least  exaggerated.  It  is  often  my  fortune  to  be  able  to 
quiet  minds  that  have  been  seriously  disturbed  by  the  unprecedented  slanders 
that  have  been  the  reward  of  your  unprecedented  work." 


KING  EDWARD   VII  21 

"You  don't  understand  me!  I  am  the  King  of  ALL  the 
People!  No  one  has  got  me  in  their  pockets,  as  some  of 
them  think  they  have!"  and  he  proceeded  with  names  I 
can't  quote! 

Acting  on  Sir  Francis  Knollys's  example  and  advice  I 
burnt  all  his  letters  to  me,  except  one  or  two  purely  per- 
sonal in  their  delightful  adherence  to  Right  and  Justice! 
but  even  these  I  won't  publish  ever — they  were  not  meant 
to  be  seen,  by  others.  What  anointed  cads  are  those  who 
sell  Nelson's  letters  to  Lady  Hamilton!  letters  written 
out  of  the  abundance  of  his  heart  and  the  thankfulness 
of  an  emotional  nature  full  of  heartfelt  gratitude  to  the 
sympathising  woman  who  dressed  his  wounds,  his  torn- 
off  scalp  after  the  Nile,  and  his  never-ceasing  calamity 
of  what  is  now  called  neuritis,  which  was  for  ever  wast- 
ing his  frail  body  with  pain  and  anguish  of  spirit  as  it  so 
unfitted  him  for  exertion. 

Here  is  a  letter  to  King  Edward,  dated  March  14th, 
1908: 

"With  Sir  John  Fisher's  humble  duty  to  your  Majesty 
and  in  accordance  with  your  Majesty's  orders,  I  saw  Mr. 
Blank  as  to  the  contents  of  the  secret  paper  sent  your 
Majesty,  but  I  did  not  disclose  what  makes  it  so  valuable 
— that  it  came  from  a  Minister  of  Foreign  Affairs,  whose 
testimony  is  absolutely  reliable. 

"I  told  Mr.  Blank  and  asked  him  to  forgive  my  pre- 
sumption in  saying  it,  that  we  were  making  a  hideous 
mistake  in  our  half  measures,  which  pleased  no  one  and 
thus  we  perpetuate  the  fable  of  'Perfidious  Albion/  and 
that  we  ought  to  have  thrown  in  our  lot  with  Russia  and 
completely  allowed  her  to  fortify  the  Aland  Islands  as 
against  Sweden  and  Germany. 

"For  a  Naval  War  against  Germany  we  want  Russia 
with  us,  and  we  want  the  Aland  Islands  fortified. 

"Germany  has  got  Sweden  in  her  pocket,  and  they 
will  divide  Denmark  between  them  in  a  War  against 


22  MEMORIES 

Russia  and  England,  and  unless  our  Offensive  is  quick 
and  overwhelming  Germany  will  close  the  Baltic  just  as 
effectually  as  Turkey  locks  up  the  Black  Sea  with  the 
possession  of  the  Dardanelles. 

"Russia  and  Turkey  are  the  two  Powers,  and  the  only 
two  Powers,  that  matter  to  us  as  against  Germany,  and 
that  we  have  eventually  to  fight  Germany  is  just  as  sure 
as  anything  can  be,  solely  because  she  can't  expand  com- 
mercially without  it. 

"I  humbly  trust  your  Majesty  will  forgive  my  pre- 
sumption in  thus  talking  Politics,  but  I  know  I  am  right, 
and  I  only  look  at  it  because  if  we  fight  we  want  Russia 
and  Turkey  on  our  side  against  Germany. 

"With  my  grateful  thanks  for  your  Majesty's  letter, 
"I  am  your  Majesty's  humble  servant, 

"J.  A.  FISHER." 

"March  Uth,  1908. 

Note. — This  letter  to  King  Edward  followed  on  a 
previous  long  secret  conversation  with  his  Majesty  in 
which  I  urged  that  we  should  "Copenhagen"  the  German 
Fleet  at  Kiel  a  la  Nelson,  and  I  lamented  that  we  pos- 
sessed neither  a  Pitt  nor  a  Bismarck  to  give  the  order. 
I  have  alluded  to  this  matter  in  my  account  of  Mr.  Beit's 
interview  with  the  German  Emperor,  and  the  German 
Emperor's  indignation  with  Lord  Esher  as  signified  in  the 
German  Emperor's  letter  to  Lord  Tweedmouth  that  Sir 
John  Fisher  was  the  most  dreaded  man  in  Germany  from 
the  Emperor  downwards. 

It  must  be  emphasised  that  at  this  moment  we  had  a 
mass  of  effective  Submarines  and  Germany  only  had  three, 
and  we  had  seven  Dreadnoughts  fit  to  fight  and  Germany 
had  none! 

This  proposal  of  mine  having  been  discarded,  all  that 
then  remained  for  our  inevitable  war  with  Germany  was 
to  continue  the  concentration  of  our  whole  Naval  strength 
in  the  Decisive  Theatre  of  the  War,  in  Northern  Waters, 
which  was  so  unostentatiously  carried  out  that  it  was  only 
Admiral  Mahan's  article  in  The  Scientific  American  that 


KING  EDWARD  VII  23 

drew  attention  to  the  fact,  when  he  said  that  88  per  cent, 
of  England's  guns  were  pointed  at  Germany. 

I  mention  another  excellent  illustration  of  King  Ed- 
ward's fine  and  magnanimous  character  though  it's  to  my 
own  detriment.  He  used  to  say  to  me  often  at  Big  Func- 
tions: "Have  I  missed  out  anyone,  do  you  think?"  for  he 
would  go  round  in  a  most  careful  way  to  speak  to  all  he 
should.  Just  then  a  certain  Admiral  approached — per- 
haps the  biggest  ass  I  ever  met.  The  King  shook  hands 
with  him  and  said  something  I  thought  quite  unnecessarily 
loving  to  him:  when  he  had  gone  he  turned  on  me  like  a 
tiger  and  said:  "You  ought  to  be  ashamed  of  yourself!"  I 
humbly  said,  "What  for?"  "Why!"  he  replied,  "when 
that  man  came  up  to  me  your  face  was  perfectly  demoni- 
acal! Everyone  saw  it!  and  the  poor  fellow  couldn't  kick 
you  back!  You're  First  Sea  Lord  and  he's  a  ruined  man! 
You've  no  business  to  show  your  hate!"  and  the  lovely 
thing  was  that  then  a  man  came  up  I  knew  the  King  did 
perfectly  hate,  and  I'm  blessed  if  he  didn't  smile  on  him 
and  cuddle  him  as  if  he  was  his  long-lost  brother,  and  then 
he  turned  to  me  afterwards  and  said  with  joyful  revenge, 
"Well!  did  you  see  that?"  Isn't  that  a  Great  Heart?  and 
is  it  to  be  wondered  at  that  he  was  so  Popular? 

An  Australian  wrote  a  book  of  his  first  visit  to  Eng- 
land. He  was  on  a  horse  omnibus  sitting  alongside  the 
'Bus  Driver — suddenly  he  pulled  up  the  horses  with  a 
jerk!  The  Australian  said  to  him,  "What's  up?"  The 
Driver  said,  "Don't  you  see?"  pointing  to  a  single 
mounted  policeman  riding  in  front  of  a  one-horse 
brougham.  The  Australian  said,  "What  is  it?"  The 
'Bus  Driver  said,  "It's  the  King!"  The  Australian  said, 
"Where's  the  escort?"  thinking  of  cavalry  and  outriders 
and  equerries  that  he  had  read  of!  The  'Bus  Driver 


24  MEMORIES 

turned  and  looked  on  the  Australian  with  a  contemptu- 
ous regard  and  said:  "Hescourt?  'e  wants  no  HescourtI 
Nobody  will  touch  a  'air  of  'is  'ead!"  The  Australian 
writes  that  fixed  him  up  as  regards  King  Edward! 

His  astounding  memory  served  King  Edward  beauti- 
fully. Once  he  beckoned  me  up  to  him,  having  finished 
his  tour  round  the  room,  to  talk  about  something  and  I 
said:  "Sir,  the  new  Japanese  Ambassador  is  just  behind 
you  and  I  don't  believe  your  Majesty  has  spoken  to  His 
Excellency."  The  King  instantly  turned  round  and  said 
these  very  words  straight  off.  I  remember  them  exactly; 
he  took  my  breath  away:  "My  dear  Ambassador,  do  let 
me  shake  you  by  the  hand  and  congratulate  you  warmly 
on  the  splendid  achievement  yesterday  of  your  wonderful 
country  in  launching  a  'Dreadnought*  so  completely 
home-produced  in  every  way,  guns,  armour  engines,  and 
steel,  etc.  Kindly  convey  my  admiration  of  this  splendid 
achievement!" 

I  remembered  then  that  in  the  yesterday's  paper  there 
had  been  an  account  of  the  great  rejoicings  in  Japan  on 
the  launch  of  this  "Dreadnought."  The  sequel  is  good. 
The  Japanese  Ambassador  sought  me  later  in  the  evening 
and  said:  "Sir  John!  it  was  kind  of  you  to  remind  the 
King  about  the  'Dreadnought'  as  it  enables  me  to  send  a 
much  coveted  recognition  to  Japan  in  the  King's  words !" 
I  said:  "My  dear  Ambassaolor,  I, never  said  a  word  to  the 
King,  and  I  am  truly  and  heartily  ashamed  that  as  First 
Sea  Lord  it  never  occurred  to  me  to  congratulate  you  on 
what  the  King  has  truly  designated  as  a  splendid  feat!" 

I  expect  the  Ambassador  spent  a  young  fortune  in 
sending  out  a  telegram  to  Japan,  and  do  you  wonder  that 
King  Edward  was  a  Cosmopolitan  Idol? 

Another  occasion  to  illustrate  his  saying  out  of  his 
heart  always  the  right  thing  at  the  right  time.  I  was 


KING  EDWARD  VII  25 

journeying  with  His  Majesty  from  Biarritz  to  Toulon — 
I  was  alone  with  him  in  his  railway  carriage,  there  was  a 
railway  time  table  before  him.  The  train  began  unex- 
pectedly to  slow  down,  and  he  said,  "Hulloa!  why  are  we 
stopping?"  I  said,  "Perhaps,  your  Majesty,  the  engine 
wants  a  drink!"  so  we  stopped  at  a  big  station  we  were 
to  have  passed  through — the  masses  of  people  shouted  not 
"Vive  le  Hoi!"  but  "EDOUARD!"  (As  the  Governor 
of  the  Bank  of  France  said  to  a  friend  of  mine,  "If  he 
stays  in  France  much  longer  we  shall  have  him  as  our 
King!  When's  he  going?").  Sir  Stanley  Clarke  I  saw 
get  out  and  fetch  the  Prefect  and  the  General  in  Com- 
mand to  the  King — the  King  got  out,  said  something 
sweet  to  the  Prefect  and  then  turned  to  the  General  and 
said  with  quite  unaffected  delight,  "Oh,  Mon  General! 
How  delightful  to  meet  you  again!  how  glorious  was  that 
splendid  regiment  of  yours,  the  — th  Regiment  of  In- 
fantry, which  I  inspected  20  years  ago!"  If  I  ever  saw 
Heaven  in  a  man's  face,  that  General  had  it!  He  was 
certainly  a  most  splendid  looking  man  and  not  to  be  for- 
gotten, but  yet  it  was  striking  the  King  coming  out  with 
his  immediate  remembrance  of  him.  Well!  that  incident 
you  may  be  sure  went  through  the  French  Army,  and 
being  a  conscript  nation,  it  went  into  every  village  of 
France!  Do  you  wonder  he  was  loved  in  France?  And 
yet  the  King  had  the  simplicity  and  even  the  weaknesses  of 
a  child,  and  sometimes  the  petulance  thereof.  He  gave 
me  a  lovely  box  of  all  sizes  of  rosettes  of  the  Legion  of 
Honour  adapted  to  each  kind  of  uniform  coat,  and  he 
added,  "Always  wear  this  in  France — I  find  it  aids  me 
very  much  in  getting  about!"  As  if  he  wasn't  as  well 
known  in  all  France  as  the  Town  Pump! 

These  are  the  sweet  incidents  that  illustrate  his  nature ! 

He  went  to  a  lunch  at  Marienbad  with  some  great 


26  MEMORIES 

swells  who  were  there  who  had  invited  His  Majesty  to 
meet  a  party  of  the  King's  friends  from  Carlsbad,  where 
I  was — I  wasn't  asked — being  an  arranged  snub!  A 
looker-on  described  the  scene  to  me.  The  King  came  in 
and  said  "How  d'ye  do"  all  round  and  then  said  to  the 
Host,  "Where's  the  Admiral?"  My  absence  was  apolo- 
gised for — lunch  was  ready  and  announced.  The  King 
said,  "Excuse  me  a  moment,  I  must  write  him  a  letter 
to  say  how  sorry  I  am  at  the  oversight,"  so  he  left  them 
stewing  in  their  own  juice,  and  His  Majesty's  letter  to 
me  was  lovely — I've  kept  that  one.  He  began  by 

d ing  the  pen  and  then  the  blotting  paper! — there 

were  big  blots  and  smudges!  He  came  back  and  gave 
the  letter  to  my  friend  and  said,  "See  he  gets  it  directly 
you  get  back  to  Carlsbad  to-night." 

Once  at  a  very  dull  lunch  party  given  in  his  honour  I 
sat  next  King  Edward  and  said  to  His  Majesty:  "Pretty 
dull,  Sir,  this — hadn't  I  better  give  them  a  song?"  He 
was  delighted!  (he  always  did  enjoy  everything!)  so  I 
recited  (but,  of  course,  I  can't  repeat  the  delicious  Cock- 
ney tune  in  writing,  so  it  loses  all  its  aroma!).  Two 
tramps  had  been  camping  out  (as  was  their  usual  custom) 
in  Trafalgar  Square.  They  appear  on  the  stage  leaning 
against  each  other  for  support! — too  much  beer!  They 
look  upwards  at  Nelson  on  his  monument,  and  in  an  in- 
imitable and  "beery"  voice  they  each  sing: 

"We  live  in  Trafalgar  Square,  with  four  Lions  to  guards  us, 

Fountains  and  statues  all  over  the  place ! 

The  'Metropole'  staring  us  right  in  the  face! 

"We  own  it's  a  trifle  draughty — but  we  don't  want  to  make  no  fuss ! 
What's  good  e-nough  for  Nelson  is  good  e-nough  for  us!" 

On  another  occasion  I  was  driving  with  him  alone,  and 
utterly  carried  away  by  my  feelings,  I  suddenly  stood  up 


KING  EDWARD  VII  27 

in  the  carriage  and  waved  to  a  very  beautiful  woman  who 
I  thought  was  in  America !  The  King  was  awfully  angry, 
but  I  made  it  much  worse  by  saying  I  had  forgotten  all 
about  him !  But  he  added,  "Well !  find  out  where  she  lives 
and  let  me  know,"  and  he  gave  her  little  child  a  sovereign 
and  asked  her  to  dinner,  to  my  intense  joy  I 

On  a  classic  occasion  at  Balmoral,  when  staying  with 
King  Edward,  I  unfolded  a  plan,  much  to  his  delight 
(now  that  masts  and  sails  are  extinct) ,  of  fusing  the  Army 
into  the  Navy — an  "Army  and  Navy  co-operative  so- 
ciety." And  my  favourite  illustration  has  always  been 
the  magnificent  help  of  our  splendid  soldiers  at  the  Battle 
of  Cape  St.  Vincent,  where  a  Sergeant  of  the  69th  Regi- 
ment was  the  first  to  board  the  Spanish  three-decker,  "San 
Josef,"  and  he  turned  then  round  to  help  Lord  Nelson, 
who,  with  his  one  arm,  found  it  difficult  to  get  through 
the  stern  port  of  the  "San  Josef"  again.  In  Lord  Howe's 
victory  two  Regiments  participated — the  Queen's  Royal 
West  Surrey  Regiment  (formerly  the  2nd  Foot)  and  the 
Worcestershire  Regiment  (formerly  the  29th  and  36th 
Regiment).  Let  us  hope  that  the  Future  will  bring  us 
back  to  that  good  old  practice!  This  was  the  occasion 
when  I  was  so  carried  away  by  the  subject  that  I  found 
myself  shaking  my  fist  in  the  King's  face ! 

Lord  Denbigh,  in  a  lecture  he  gave  at  the  Royal  Colo- 
nial Institute,  related  an  incident  which  he  quite  correctly 
stated  had  hitherto  been  a  piece  of  diplomatic  secret  his- 
tory, and  it  is  how  I  got  the  Grand  Cordon  of  the  Legion 
of  Honour,  associated  with  a  lovely  episode  with  King 
Edward  of  blessed  memory. 

In  1906,  at  Madeira,  the  Germans  first  took  an  hotel; 
then  they  wanted  a  Convalescent  Home;  and  finally  put 
forth  the  desire  to  establish  certain  vested  interests.  They 
imperiously  demanded  certain  concessions  from  Portugal. 


28  MEMORIES 

The  most  significant  of  these  amounted  to  a  coaling  sta- 
tion isolated  and  fortified.  The  German  Ambassador  at 
Lisbon  called  on  the  Portuguese  Prime  Minister  at  10 
o'clock  one  Saturday  night  and  said  that  if  he  didn't  get 
his  answer  by  10  o'clock  the  next  night  he  should  leave. 
The  Portuguese  sent  us  a  telegram.  That  night  we  or- 
dered the  British  Fleet  to  move.  The  next  morning  the 
German  Ambassador  told  the  Portuguese  Prime  Min- 
ister that  he  had  made  a  mistake  in  the  cipher,  and  he  was 
awfully  sorry  but  he  wasn't  going;  it  was  all  his  fault, 
he  said,  and  he  had  been  reprimanded  by  his  Government. 
(As  if  any  German  had  ever  yet  made  a  mistake  with  a 
telegram!) 

To  resume  about  the  Grand  Cordon  of  the  Legion  of 
Honour.  The  French  Official  statement  when  conveying 
to  me  the  felicitations  of  the  President  of  the  French 
Republic  was  that  I  had  the  distinction  of  being  at  that 
time  the  only  living  Englishman  who  had  received  this 
honour,  but  the  disaster  that  had  been  averted  by  the 
timely  action  of  the  British  Fleet  deserved  it.  So  that 
evening,  on  meeting  King  Edward,  I  told  His  Majesty 
of  the  quite  unexpected  honour  that  I  had  received,  and 
that  I  had  been  informed  that  I  was  the  only  Englishman 
that  had  got  it,  on  which  the  King  said:  "Excuse  me, 
I've  got  it!"  Then,  alas,  I  made  a  faux  pas  and  said, 
"Kings  don't  count!"  And  no  more  do  they!  He  got 
it  because  certainly  they  all  loved  him  in  the  first  place, 
and  secondly,  President  Loubet  couldn't  help  it,  while 
if  it  hadn't  been  for  the  British  Fleet  on  this  occasion  the 
Germans  would  have  been  in  Paris  in  a  week,  and  if  the 
Germans  had  known  as  much  as  they  do  now  they  would 
have  been! 

I  don't  mean  to  urge  that  King  Edward  was  in  any 
way  a  clever  man.  I'm  not  sure  that  he  could  do  the  rule 


KING  EDWARD  VII  29 

of  three,  but  he  had  the  Heavenly  gift  of  Proportion  and 
Perspective!  Brains  never  yet  moved  the  Masses — but 
Emotion  and  Earnestness  will  not  only  move  the  Masses, 
but  they  will  remove  Mountains !  As  I  told  Queen  Alex- 
andra on  seeing  his  dear  face  (dead)  for  the  last  time,  his 
epitaph  is  the  great  words  of  Pascal  in  the  "Pensees" 
(Chapter  ix,  19) : 

"Le  coeur  a  ses  raisons 
Que  la  raison  ne  connait  point" 

("The   heart   has   reasons   that   reason   knows   nothing 
about"!) 

He  was  a  noble  man  and  every  inch  a  King!  God 
Bless  Him!  I  don't  either  say  he  was  a  Saint!  I  know 
lots  of  cabbages  that  are  saints ! — they  couldn't  sin  if  they 
wanted  to! 

Postscript. 

It  suddenly  occurred  to  me  to  send  these  notes  on  King 
Edward  to  Lord  Esher,  as  he  had  peculiar  opportunities 
of  realising  King  Edward's  special  qualities  as  a  King, 
and  realised  how  much  there  was  in  him  of  the  Tudor  gift 
of  being  an  autocrat  and  yet  being  loved  of  the  people! 

Lord  Esher  to  Lord  Fisher 

ROMAN  CAMP, 
CALLANDEH,  N.B. 

July  30,  1918. 

MY  DEAB,  ADMIRAL, 

The  pages  are  wonderful,  because  they  are  you. 

Not  a  square  inch  of  pose  about  them. 

Tears!  that  was  the  result  of  reading  what  you  have 
to  say  about  King  Edward.  But  do  you  recollect  our 
talk  with  him  on  board  the  Royal  Yacht  about  France 
and  Germany?  Surely  that  was  worth  recording. 


30  MEMORIES 

I  have  kept  many  of  his  letters.  They  show  him  to 
have  been  one  of  the  "cleverest"  of  men.  He  had  never 
depended  upon  book-learning — why  should  he? 

He  read,  not  books — but  men  and  women — and  jolly 
good  reading  too! 

But  he  knew  everything  that  it  was  requisite  a  King 
should  know — unless  Learning  prepares  a  man  for  ac- 
tion, it  is  not  of  much  value  in  this  work-a-day  world: 
and  no  Sovereign  since  the  Tudors  was  so  brave  and  wise 
in  action  as  this  King! 

Your  anecdotes  of  him  are  splendid.  Add  to  them  all 
that  you  can  remember. 

It  was  a  pleasure  to  be  scolded  by  the  King  for  the 
sake  of  the  smile  you  subsequently  got. 

The  most  awful  time  I  ever  had  with  him  was  at 
Balmoral  when  I  refused  to  be  Secretary  of  State  for 
War.  But  I  beat  him  on  that,  thank  God! 

Ever  yours, 
My  beloved  Admiral, 

ESHER. 

Letter  from  Lord  Redesdale 

1  KENSINGTON  COURT,  W. 

May  24,  1915. 

MY  DEAR  FISHER, 

Do  me  the  favour  of  accepting  this  little  attempt  to 
render  justice  to  the  best  friend  you  ever  had.  (King 
Edward  the  Seventh.) 

You  and  he  were  worthy  of  one  another.  Your  old 
and  very  affectionate  friend, 

REDESDALE. 

The  following  letter,  written  in  1907,  would  never 
have  been  penned  but  for  the  kindly  intimacy  and  con- 
fidence placed  and  reposed  in  me  by  King  Edward;  it 
therefore  rightly  comes  in  these  remarks  about  him;  and 
so  does  the  subsequent  explanatory  note  on  "Nelson  and 
Copenhagen." 


KING  EDWARD  VII  31 

EXTEACT  FROM  A  LETTER  FROM  SlR  JOHN  FlSHER  TO 

KING  EDWARD 

I  have  just  received  Reich's  book.  It  is  one  unmiti- 
gated mass  of  misrepresentations. 

In  March  this  year,  1907,  it  is  an  absolute  fact  that 
Germany  had  not  laid  down  a  single  "Dreadnought,"  nor 
had  she  commenced  building  a  single  Battleship  or  Big 
Cruiser  for  eighteen  months. 

Germany  has  been  paralysed  by  the  "Dreadnought" 

The  more  the  German  Admiralty  looked  into  her  quali- 
ties the  more  convinced  they  became  that  they  must  fol- 
low suit,  and  the  more  convinced  they  were  that  the  whole 
of  their  existing  Battle  Fleet  was  utterly  useless  because 
utterly  wanting  in  gun  power !  For  instance,  half  of  the 
whole  German  Battle  Fleet  is  only  about  equal  to  the 
English  Armoured  Cruisers. 

The  German  Admiralty  wrestled  with  the  "Dread- 
nought" problem  for  eighteen  months,  and  did  nothing. 
Why?  Because  it  meant  their  spending  twelve  and  a 
half  million  sterling  on  widening  and  deepening  the  Kiel 
Canal,  and  in  dredging  all  their  harbours  and  all  the  ap- 
proaches to  their  harbours,  because  if  they  did  not  do  so 
it  would  be  no  use  building  German  "Dreadnoughts" 
because  they  could  not  float!  But  there  was  another  rea- 
son never  yet  made  public.  It  is  this:  Our  Battleships 
draw  too  much  water  to  get  close  into  the  German  Coast 
and  harbours  (we  have  to  build  ours  big  to  go  all  over 
the  world  with  great  fuel  endurance).  But  the  German 
Admiralty  is  going,  is  indeed  obliged,  to  spend  twelve 
and  a  half  million  sterling  in  dredging  so  as  to  allow  these 
existing  ships  of  ours  to  go  and  fight  them  in  their  own 
waters  when  before  they  could  not  do  so.  It  was,  indeed, 
a  Machiavellian  interference  of  Providence  on  our  behalf 
that  brought  about  the  evolution  of  the  "Dreadnought." 

To  return  to  Mr.  Reich.  He  makes  the  flesh  of  the 
British  public  creep  at  page  78  et  seq.,  by  saying  what 


32  MEMORIES 

the  Germans  are  going  to  do.    He  does  not  say  what  they 
have  done  and  what  we  have  done. 

Now  this  is  the  truth:  England  has  seven  "Dread- 
noughts" and  three  "Dreadnought"  Battle  Cruisers 
(which  last  three  ships  are,  in  my  opinion,  far  better 
than  "Dreadnoughts") ;  total,  ten  "Dreadnoughts"  built 
and  building,  while  Germany,  in  March  last,  had  not  be- 
gun even  one  "Dreadnought."  It  is  doubtful  if,  even  so 
late  as  May  last,  a  German  "Dreadnought"  had  been 
commenced.  It  will  therefore  be  seen,  from  this  one  fact, 
what  a  liar  Mr.  Reich  is. 

Again,  at  page  86,  he  makes  out  the  Germans  are 
stronger  than  we  are  in  torpedo  craft,  and  states  that 
England  has  only  24  fully  commissioned  Destroyers. 

Again,  what  are  the  real  facts?  As  stated  in  an  Ad- 
miralty official  document,  dated  August  22nd,  1907:  "We 
have  123  Destroyers  and  40  Submarines.  The  Germans 
have  48  Destroyers  and  1  Submarine." 

The  whole  of  our  Destroyers  and  Submarines  are  ab- 
solutely efficient  and  ready  for  instant  battle  and  are  fully 
manned,  except  a  portion  of  the  Detsroyers,  which  have 
four-fifths  of  their  crew  on  board.  Quite  enough  for  in- 
stant service,  and  can  be  filled  up  under  an  hour  to  full 
crew.  And  they  are  all  of  them  constantly  being  exer- 
cised. 

There  is  one  more  piece  of  information  I  have  to  give : 
Admiral  Tirpitz,  the  German  Minister  of  Marine,  has 
just  stated,  in  a  secret  official  document,  that  the  English 
Navy  is  now  four  times  stronger  than  the  German  Navy. 
Yes,  that  is  so,  and  we  are  going  to  keep  the  British  Navy 
at  that  strength,  vide  ten  "Dreadnoughts"  built  and  build- 
ing, and  not  one  German  "Dreadnought"  commenced 
last  May.  But  we  don't  want  to  parade  all  this  to  the 
world  at  large.  Also  we  might  have  Parliamentary  trou- 
ble. A  hundred  and  fifty  members  of  the  House  of  Com- 
mons have  just  prepared  one  of  the  best  papers  I  have 
ever  read,  shewing  convincingly  that  we  don't  want  to  lay 
down  any  new  ships  at  all  because  we  are  so  strong.  My 
answer  is:  We  can't  be  too  strong.  Sir  Charles  Dilke,  in 


EDWARD    VII.     (WHO    DIED    MAY    6-TH,    1910)     8AYIKO 
GOOD-BYE   TO   LORD   FISHER,   FIRST  SEA    LORD,    1910 

(Lord  Fisher  69,  so  also  the  King.) 

N.  B. — The   King   thought   the   1841   vintage   very   good. 

Certainly  good  men  were  born  that  year ! 


[32 


JOHN    FISHKK  IN   "«ENOWX,"    1897 


[33 


KING  EDWARD  VII  33 

the  United  Service  Magazine  for  this  month,  says:  "Sir 
George  Clarke  points  out  that  the  Navy  is  now,  in  Oc- 
tober, 1907,  stronger  than  at  any  previous  time  in  all  His- 
tory," and  he  adds  that  Sir  George  Clarke,  in  making 
this  printed  statement,  makes  it  with  the  full  knowledge 
of  all  the  secrets  of  the  Government,  because,  as  Secre- 
tary of  the  Committee  of  Imperial  Defence,  he,  Sir  George 
Clarke,  has  access  to  every  bit  of  information  that  exists 
in  regard  to  our  own  and  foreign  Naval  strength. 

In  conclusion,  a  letter  in  The  Times  of  September 
17th,  1907,  should  be  read.  The  writer  of  the  letter  un- 
derstates the  case,  as  the  British  Home  Fleet  is  twenty 
per  cent,  stronger  than  he  puts  it. 

As  regards  Mr.  Reich's  Naval  statements,  they  are  a 
rechauffe  of  the  mendacious  drivel  of  a  certain  English 
newspaper.  I  got  a  letter  last  night  from  a  trustworthy 
person  a  propos  of  these  virulent  and  persistent  news- 
paper attacks  as  to  the  weakness  of  the  Navy,  stating  that 
the  recent  inspection  of  the  Fleet  by  Your  Majesty  has 
knocked  the  bottom  out  of  the  case  against  the  Admiralty. 

I  don't  mean  to  say  that  we  are  not  now  menaced  by 
Germany.  Her  diplomacy  is,  and  always  has  been,  and 
always  will  be,  infinitely  superior  to  ours.  Observe  our 
treatment  of  the  Sultan  as  compared  with  Germany.  The 
Sultan  is  the  most  important  personage  in  the  whole  world 
for  England.  He  lifts  his  finger,  and  Egypt  and  India 
are  in  a  blaze  of  religious  disaffection.  That  great  Amer- 
ican, Mr.  Choate,  swore  to  me  before  going  to  the  Hague 
Conference  that  he  would  side  with  England  over  sub- 
marine mines  and  other  Naval  matters,  but  Germany  has 
diplomatically  collared  the  United  States  absolutely  at 
The  Hague. 

The  only  thing  in  the  world  that  England  has  to  fear  is 
Germany,  and  none  else. 

We  have  no  idea,  at  the  Foreign  Office,  of  coping  with 
the  German  propaganda  in  America.  Our  Naval  Attache 
in  the  United  States  tells  me  that  the  German  Emperor 


34  MEMORIES 

is  unceasing  in  his  efforts  to  win  over  the  American  Offi- 
cial authorities,  and  that  the  German  Embassy  at  Wash- 
ington is  far  and  away  in  the  ascendant  with  the  Amer- 
ican Government. 

I  hope  I  shall  not  be  considered  presumptuous  in  say- 
ing all  this.  I  humbly  confess  I  am  neither  a  diplomatist 
nor  a  politician.  I  thank  God  I  am  neither.  The  former 
are  senile,  and  the  latter  are  liars.  But  it  all  does  seem 
such  simple  common  sense  to  me  that  for  our  Army  we  re- 
quire mobile  troops  as  against  sedentary  garrisons,  and 
that  our  military  intervention  in  any  very  great  Conti- 
nental struggle  is  unwise,  remembering  what  Napoleon 
said  on  that  point  with  such  emphasis  and  such  sure  con- 
ception of  war,  and  that  great  combined  Naval  and  Mili- 
tary expeditions  should  be  our  role.  In  the  splendid  words 
of  Sir  Edward  Grey:  "The  British  Army  should  be  a  pro- 
jectile to  be  fired  by  the  British  Navy." 

The  foundation  of  our  policy  is  that  the  communica- 
tions of  the  Empire  must  be  kept  open  by  a  predominant 
Fleet,  and  ipso  facto  such  a  Fleet  will  suffice  to  allay  the 
fears  of  the  "old  women  of  both  sexes"  in  regard  to  the 
invasion  of  England  or  the  invasion  of  her  Colonies. 

NELSON'S  COPENHAGEN 

In  May,  1907,  England  had  seven  "Dreadnoughts" 
ready  for  battle,  and  Germany  had  not  one.  And  Eng- 
land had  flotillas  of  submarines  peculiarly  adapted  to  the 
shallower  German  waters  when  Germany  had  none. 

Even  in  1908  Germany  only  had  four  submarines.  At 
that  time,  in  the  above  letter  I  wrote  to  King  Edward, 
I  approached  His  Majesty,  and  quoted  certain  apposite 
sayings  of  Mr.  Pitt  about  dealing  with  the  probable 
enemy  before  he  got  too  strong.  It  is  admitted  that  it 
was  not  quite  a  gentlemanly  sort  of  thing  for  Nelson  to 
go  and  destroy  the  Danish  Fleet  at  Copenhagen  without 


KING  EDWARD  VII  35 

notice,  but  "la  raison  du  plus  fort  est  tou jours  la  meil- 
leure." 

Therefore,  in  view  of  the  known  steadfast  German 
purpose,  as  always  unmitigatedly  set  forth  by  the  German 
High  Authority  that  it  was  Germany's  set  intention  to 
make  even  England's  mighty  Navy  hesitate  at  sea,  it 
seemed  to  me  simply  a  sagacious  act  on  England's  part 
to  seize  the  German  Fleet  when  it  was  so  very  easy  of 
accomplishment  in  the  manner  I  sketched  out  to  His 
Majesty,  and  probably  without  bloodshed.  But,  alas! 
even  the  very  whisper  of  it  excited  exasperation  against 
the  supposed  bellicose,  but  really  peaceful,  First  Sea 
Lord,  and  the  project  was  damned.  At  that  time  Ger- 
many was  peculiarly  open  to  this  "peaceful  penetration." 
A  new  Kiel  Canal,  at  the  cost  of  many,  many  millions? 
had  been  rendered  necessary  by  the  advent  of  the  "Dread- 
nought"; but  worse  still  for  the  Germans,  it  was  necessary 
for  them  to  spend  further  vast  millions  in  deepening  not 
only  the  approaches  to  the  German  Harbours,  but  the 
Harbours  themselves,  to  allow  the  German  "Dread- 
noughts," when  built,  to  be  able  to  float.  In  doing  this, 
the  Germans  were  thus  forced  to  arrange  that  thirty-three 
British  pre- "Dreadnoughts"  should  be  capable  of  attack- 
ing their  shores,  which  shallow  water  had  previously  de- 
nied them.  Such,  therefore,  was  the  time  of  stress  and 
unreadiness  in  Germany  that  made  it  peculiarly  timely  to 
repeat  Nelson's  Copenhagen.  Alas!  we  had  no  Pitt,  no 
Bismarck,  no  Gambetta!  And  consequently  came  those 
terrible  years  of  War,  with  millions  massacred  and  maimed 
and  many  millions  more  of  their  kith  and  kin  with  pierced 
hearts  and  bereft  of  all  that  was  mortal  for  their  joy. 


36  MEMORIES 

QUEEN  ALEXANDRA,  LORD  KNOLLYS,  and  SIR  DIGHTON 

FROBYN. 

At  the  end  of  these  short  and  much  too  scant  memories 
of  him  whom  Lord  Redesdale  rightly  calls  in  the  letter  I 
printed  above 

"The  best  friend  you  ever  had," 

I  can't  but  allude  to  a  Trio  forming  so  great  a  part  of  his 
Glory.  Not  to  name  them  here  would  be  "King  Edward 
— an  Unreality."  I  could  not  ask  Queen  Alexandra  for 
permission  either  to  print  her  Letters  or  her  Words,  but 
I  am  justified  in  printing  how  her  steadfast  love,  and  faith, 
and  wonderful  loyalty  and  fidelity  to  her  husband  have 
proved  how  just  is  the  judgment  of  Her  Majesty  by  the 
Common  People — "the  most  loved  Woman  in  the  whole 
Nation." 

And  then  Lord  Knollys  and  Sir  Dighton  Probyn, 
those  two  Great  Pillars  of  Wisdom  and  Judgment,  who 
so  reminded  me,  as  they  used  to  sit  side  by  side  in  the 
Royal  Chapel,  of  those  two  who  on  either  side  held  up  the 
arms  of  Moses  in  fighting  the  Amalekites: 

"And  Aaron  and  Hur  stayed  up  his  hands, 
The  one  on  the  one  side,  and  the  other  on  the  other  side; 
And  his  hands  were  steady  until  the  going  down  of  the  sun." 

Yes!  King  Edward's  hands  were  held  steady  till  the 
setting  of  his  sun  on  May  6th,  1910,  and  so  did  he  "dis- 
comfit his  enemies  by  their  aid." 

For  over  forty  years  Lord  Knollys  played  that  great 
part  in  great  affairs  which  will  occupy  his  Biographer 
with  Admiration  of  his  Self-Effacement  and  unerring 
Judgment.  Myself  I  owe  him  gratitude  inexpressible. 


KING  EDWARD  VII  37 

For  myself,  those  Great  Three  ever  live  in  my  heart 
and  ever  will. 

There  are  no  such  that  I  know  of  who  are  left  to  us  to 
rise  in  their  place. 


CHAPTER  II 

"THE  MOON  SWAYS  OCEANS  AND  PROVOKES  THE  HOUND" 

THE  hound  keeps  baying  at  the  moon  but  gets  no  an- 
swer from  her,  and  she  continues  silently  her  mighty  in- 
fluence in  causing  the  tides  of  the  earth,  such  a  mighty 
influence  as  I  have  seen  in  the  Bay  of  Fundy,  and  on  the 
coast  of  Arcadia  where  the  tide  rises  some  40  feet — you 
see  it  like  a  high  wall  rolling  in  towards  you  on  the  beach ! 
It  exalts  one,  and  the  base  things  of  earth  vanish  from 
one's  thoughts.  So  also  may  the  contents  of  this  book  be 
like-minded  by  a  mighty  silence  against  baying  hounds! 
I  hope  to  name  no  living  name  except  for  praise,  and 
even  against  envy  I  hope  I  may  be  silent.  Envy  caused 
the  first  murder.  It  was  the  biggest  and  nastiest  of  all 
Caesar's  wounds: 

"See  what  a  rent  the  envious  Casca  made." 

My  impenetrable  armour  is  Contempt  and  Fortitude. 

Well,  yesterday,  September  7th,  1919,  we  completed 
our  conversations  for  the  six  articles  in  The  Times,  and 
to-day  we  begin  this  book  with  similar  talks. 

My  reluctance  to  this  book  being  published  before  my 
death  is  increasingly  definite;  but  I  have  put  my  hand 
to  the  plough,  because  of  the  overbearing  argument  that 
I  cannot  resist,  that  I  shall  be  helping  to 

(a)  Avoid  national  bankruptcy. 

(b)  Avert  the  insanity  and  wickedness  of  building  a 
Navy  against  the  United  States. 

38 


"THE  MOON  SWAYS  OCEANS"         39 

(c)  Establish  a  union  with  America,  as  advocated  by 
John  Bright  and  Mr.  Roosevelt. 

(d)  Enable  the  United  States  and  British  Navies  to 
say  to  all  other  Navies,  "If  you  build  more,  we  will  fight 
you,  here  and  now.     We'll  'Copenhagen'  you,  without 
remorse." 

This  is  why  I  have  consented,  with  such  extreme  re- 
luctance, to  write  letters  to  The  Times  and  dictate  six 
articles;  and  having  thus  entered  into  the  fight,  I  follow 
the  advice  of  Polonius — Vestigia  nulla  retrorsum.  And 
so,  to-day,  I  will  begin  this  book — not  an  autobiography, 
but  a  collection  of  memories  of  a  life-long  war  against 
limpets,  parasites,  sycophants,  and  jelly-fish — at  one  time 
there  were  19%  millions  sterling  of  'em.  At  times  they 
stung;  but  that  only  made  me  more  relentless,  ruthless 
and  remorseless. 

Why  I  so  hate  a  book,  and  those  articles  in  The  Times, 
and  even  the  letters,  is  that  the  printed  word  never  can 
convey  the  virtue  of  the  soul.  The  aroma  is  not  there — 
it  evaporates  when  printed — a  scentless  product,  flat  and 
stale  like  a  bad  bottle  of  champagne.  It  is  like  an  em- 
balmed corpse.  Personality,  which  is  the  soul  of  man,  is 
absent  from  the  reader.  It  is  a  man's  personality  that 
is  the  living  thing,  and  in  the  other  world  that  is  the  thing 
you  will  meet.  I  have  often  asked  ecclesiastics — "What 
period  of  life  will  the  resurrected  body  represent?"  It 
has  always  been  a  poser  for  them !  There  will  not  be  any 
bodies,  thank  God !  we  have  had  quite  enough  trouble  with 
them  down  below  here.  St.  Paul  distinctly  says  that  it  is 
a  spiritual  body  in  the  Resurrection.  It  is  our  Personali- 
ties that  will  talk  to  each  other  in  Heaven.  I  don't  care 
at  what  age  of  a  man's  life,  even  when  toothless  and  de- 
crepit and  indistinguishable  as  he  may  then  be,  yet  like 


40  MEMORIES 

another  Rip  Van  Winkle,  when  he  speaks  you  know  him. 
However,  that's  a  digression. 

What  I  want  to  rub  in  is  this :  The  man  who  reads  this 
in  his  arm-chair  in  the  Athenaeum  Club  would  take  it  all 
quite  differently  if  I  could  walk  up  and  down  in  front  of 
him  and  shake  my  fist  in  his  face. 

( It  was  a  lovely  episode  this  recalls  to  my  mind.  King 
Edward — God  bless  him! — said  to  me  once  in  one  of  my 
moments  of  wild  enthusiasm:  "Would  you  kindly  leave 
off  shaking  your  fist  in  my  face?") 

I  tried  once,  so  as  to  make  the  dead  print  more  life- 
like, using  different  kinds  of  type — big  Roman  block  let- 
ters for  the  "fist-shaking,"  large  italics  for  the  cajoling, 
small  italics  for  the  facts,  and  ordinary  print  for  the  fool. 
The  printer's  price  was  ruinous,  and  the  effect  ludicrous. 
But  I  made  this  compromise  and  he  agreed  to  it — when- 
ever the  following  words  occurred  they  were  to  be  printed 
in  large  capitals:  "Fool,"  "Ass,"  "Congenital  Idiot." 
Myself,  I  don't  know  that  I  am  singular,  but  I  seldom 
read  a  book.  I  look  at  the  pages  as  you  look  at  a  picture, 
and  grasp  it  that  way.  Of  course,  I  know  what  the 
skunks  will  say  when  they  read  this — "Didn't  I  tell  you 
he  was  superficial?  and  here  he  is  judged  out  of  his  own 
mouth."  I  do  confess  to  having  only  one  idea  at  a  time, 
and  King  Edward  found  fault  with  me  and  said  it  would 
be  my  ruin ;  so  I  replied :  "Anyhow,  I  am  stopping  a  fort- 
night with  you  at  Balmoral,  and  I  never  expected  that 
when  I  entered  the  Navy,  penniless,  friendless,  and  for- 
lorn 1"  Besides,  didn't  Solomon  and  Mr.  Disraeli  both 
say  that  whatever  you  did  you  were  to  do  it  with  all  your 
might?  You  can't  do  more  than  one  thing  at  a  time  with 
all  your  might — that's  Euclid.  Mr.  Disraeli  added  some- 
thing to  Solomon — he  said  "there  was  nothing  you 
couldn't  have  if  only  you  wanted  it  enough."  And  such 


THE  MOON  SWAYS  OCEANS"       41 

is  my  only  excuse  for  whatever  success  I  have  had.  I 
have  only  had  one  idea  at  a  time.  Longo  intervdilo,  I 
have  been  a  humble,  and  I  endeavoured  to  be  an  unosten- 
tatious, follower  of  our  Immortal  Hero.  Some  venomous 
reptile  (his  name  has  disappeared — I  tried  in  vain  to  get 
hold  of  it  at  Mr.  Maggs's  bookshop  only  the  other  day) 
called  Nelson  "vain  and  egotistical."  Good  God!  if  he 
seemed  so,  how  could  he  help  it?  Some  nip-cheese  clerk 
at  the  Admiralty  wrote  to  him  for  a  statement  of  his  serv- 
ices, to  justify  his  being  given  a  pension  for  his  wounds. 
His  arm  off,  his  eye  out,  his  scalp  torn  off  at  the  Nile — 
that  clerk  must  have  known  that  quite  well  but  it  elicited 
a  gem.  Let  us  thank  God  for  that  clerk !  How  this  shows 
one  the  wonderful  working  of  the  Almighty  Providence, 
and  no  doubt  whatever  that  fools  are  an  essential  feature 
in  the  great  scheme  of  creation.  Why  I — didn't  some  geese 
cackling  save  Rome?  Nelson  told  this  clerk  he  had  been 
in  a  hundred  rights  and  he  enumerated  his  wounds;  and 
his  letter  lives  to  illumine  his  fame. 

The  Almighty  has  a  place  for  nip-cheese  clerks  as 
much  as  for  the  sweetest  wild  flower  that  perishes  in  a  day. 

It  is  really  astounding  that  Nelson's  life  has  not  yet 
been  properly  written.  All  that  has  been  written  is  ut- 
terly unrepresentative  of  him.  The  key-notes  of  his  being 
were  imagination,  audacity,  tenderness. 

He  never  flogged  a  man.  (One  of  my  first  Captains 
flogged  every  man  in  the  ship  and  was  tried  for  cruelty, 
but  being  the  icion  of  a  noble  house  he  was  promoted  to 
a  bigger  ship  instead  of  being  shot. )  It  oozed  out  of  Nel- 
son that  he  felt  in  himself  the  certainty  of  effecting  what 
to  other  men  seemed  rash  and  even  maniacal  rashness; 
and  this  involved  his  seeming  vain  and  egotistical.  Like 
Napoleon's  presence  on  the  field  of  battle  that  meant 
40,000  men,  so  did  the  advent  of  Nelson  in  a  fleet  (this 


42  MEMORIES 

is  a  fact)  make  every  common  sailor  in  that  fleet  as  sure 
of  victory  as  he  was  breathing.  I  have  somewhere  a  con- 
versation of  two  sailors  that  was  overheard  and  taken 
down  after  the  battle  of  Trafalgar,  which  illustrates  what 
I  have  been  saying.  Great  odds  against  'em — but  going 
into  action  the  odds  were  not  even  thought  of,  they  were 
not  dreamt  of,  by  these  common  men.  Nelson's  presence 
was  victory.  However,  I  must  add  here  that  he  hated 
the  word  Victory.  What  he  wanted  was  Annihilation. 
That  Crowning  Mercy  (as  Cromwell  would  have  called 
it),  the  battle  of  the  Nile,  deserves  the  wonderful  pen  of 
Lord  Rosebery,  but  he  won't  do  it.  Warburton  in  "The 
Crescent  and  the  Cross"  gives  a  faint  inkling  of  what  the 
glorious  chronicle  should  be.  For  two  years,  that  frail 
body  of  his  daily  tormented  with  pain  (he  was  a  martyr 
to  what  they  now  call  neuritis — I  believe  they  called  it 
then  "tic  douloureux"),  he  never  put  his  foot  outside  his 
ship,  watching  off  Toulon.  The  Lord  Mayor  and  Citi- 
zens of  London  sent  him  a  gold  casket  for  keeping  the 
hostile  fleet  locked  up  in  Toulon.  He  wrote  back  to  say 
he  would  take  the  casket,  but  he  never  wanted  to  keep 
the  French  Fleet  in  harbour;  he  wanted  them  to  come 
out.  But  he  did  keep  close  in  to  Toulon  for  fear  of  miss- 
ing them  coming  out  in  darkness  or  in  a  fog. 

In  his  two  years  off  Toulon  Nelson  only  made  £6,000 
of  prize  money,  while  it  was  a  common  thing  for  the 
Captain  of  a  single  man-of-war  off  the  Straits  of  Gibraltar 
to  make  a  haul  of  £20,000,  and  Prize-Money  Admirals  in 
crowds  basked  in  Bath  enriched  beyond  the  dreams  of 
avarice.  Nelson  practically  died  a  pauper. 

Now  this  is  another  big  digression  which  I  must  apolo- 
gise for,  but  that's  the  damnable  part  of  a  book.  If  one 
could  walk  up  and  down  and  talk  to  someone,  it  never 
strikes  them  as  incongruous  having  a  digression. 


4  THE  MOON  SWAYS  OCEANS"       43 

I  wind  up  this  chapter,  as  I  began  it,  with  the  fervent 
intention  of  avoiding  any  reference  to  those  who  have 
assailed  me.  I  will  only  print  their  affectionate  letters  to 
me,  for  which  I  still  retain  the  most  affectionate  feelings 
towards  them.  I  regret  now  that  on  one  occasion  I  did 
so  far  lose  my  self-control  as  to  tell  a  specific  Judas  to 
take  back  his  thirty  pieces  of  silver  and  go  and  hang  him- 
self. However,  eventually  he  did  get  hanged,  so  it  was 
all  right. 


CHAPTER  III 

ADMIRAL  VON  POHL  AND  ADMIRAL  VON  TIKPITZ 

YESTERDAY,  September  8th,  1919  (I  must  put  this 
date  down  because  yesterday  in  a  telegram  I  called  von 
Tirpitz  a  liar),  I  got  an  enquiry  whether  it  was  correct 
that  in  1909,  as  stated  by  Admiral  von  Tirpitz,  I,  as  First 
Sea  Lord  of  the  Admiralty,  engineered  a  German  Naval 
Scare  in  England  in  order  to  get  bigger  British  Naval 
estimates — and  that  I  had  said  this  to  the  German  Naval 
Attache.  I  replied  "Tell  Tirpitz — using  the  immortal 
words  of  Dr.  Johnson — *y°u  lie,  Sir,  and  you  know  it !' ' 
Now,  first  of  all,  could  I  possibly  have  told  the  German 
Naval  Attache  such  a  thing  if  I  possessed  the  Machiavel- 
lian nature  which  is  inferred  by  Tirpitz? 

Secondly,  there  was  a  vast  multitude  of  acute  domestic 
enemies  too  closely  watching  me  to  permit  any  such  ma- 
noeuvre. 

This  affords  an  opportunity  of  telling  you  some  very 
interesting  facts  about  Tirpitz.  They  came  to  be  known 
through  the  widow  of  Admiral  von  Pohl  (who  had  been 
at  the  German  Admiralty  and  commanded  the  German 
High  Sea  Fleet)  interviewing  a  man  who  had  been  a 
prisoner  at  Ruhleben.  He  relates  a  conversation  with 
Frau  von  Pohl,  and  he  mentions  her  being  an  intimate 
friend  of  the  German  ex-Crown  Princess,  and  as  being 
extremely  intelligent.  Frau  von  Pohl  had  been  reading 
Lord  Jellicoe's  book,  and  said  to  the  ex-Ruhleben  pris- 
oner: "How  strange  is  the  parallel  between  Germany  and 

44 


VON  POHL  AND  VON  TIRPITZ       45 

Britain,  that  in  both  Navies  the  Admirals  were  in  a  stew 
as  to  the  failings  of  their  respective  fleets."  So  much  so 
on  the  German  side,  she  said,  that  the  German  Fleet  did 
not  consider  itself  ready  to  fight  till  two  months  before 
the  battle  of  Jutland,  and  the  Germans  till  then  lived  in 
a  constant  fever  of  trepidation.  These  were  the  questions 
she  heard.  "  'Why  do  the  English  not  attack?  Will  the 
English  attack  to-morrow?' *  These  questions  we  asked 
ourselves  hourly.  We  felt  like  crabs  in  the  process  of 
changing  their  shells.  Apparently  our  secret  never  oozed 
out."  She  put  the  inefficiency  of  the  German  Fleet  all 
dc  wn  to  Tirpitz,  and  said  that  if  any  man  deserved  hang- 
ing it  was  he.  Admiral  von  Pohl  was  supposed  to  have 
committed  suicide  through  dejection.  If  all  this  be  true; 
how  it  does  once  more  illuminate  that  great  Nelsonic 
maxim  of  an  immediate  Offensive  in  war!  Presumably 
Frau  von  Pohl  had  good  information;  and  she  added: 
"The  only  reason  Tirpitz  was  not  dismissed  sooner  was 
lest  the  British  should  suspect  from  his  fall  something 
serious  was  the  matter,  and  attack  at  once."  2  Part  of 
her  interview  is  of  special  interest,  as  it  so  reminded  me 

1  See  tetters  at  end  of  this  chapter. 

*On  hearing  of  von  Tirpitz's  dismissal  I  perpetrated  the  following  letter, 
which  a  newspaper  contrived  to  print  in  one  of  its  editions.  I  can't  say  why, 
but  it  didn't  appear  any  more,  nor  was  it  copied  by  any  other  paper! 

DEAE  OLD  Traps, 

We  are  'rxrth  in  the  same  boat!  What  a  time  we've  been  colleagues,  old 
boy!  However,  we  did  you  in  the  eye  over  the  Battle  Cruisers  and  I  know 
you've  said  yow'11  never  forgive  me  for  it  when  bang  went  the  "Blucher"  and 
von  Spec  and  jail  his  host! 

Cheer  up,  c^ld  chap !  Say  "Resurgam" !  You're  the  one  German  sailor 
who  understands  War!  Kill  your  enemy  without  being  killed  yourself.  7 
don't  blame  you.  for  the  submarine  business.  I'd  have  done  the  same  myself, 
only  our  idiots  in  England  wouldn't  believe  it  when  I  told  'em! 

Well!     So  long.! 

Yours  till  hell  freezes, 

FISHER. 
29/3/16. 

I  say!  Are  you  sure  if  you  had  tripped  out  with  your  whole  High  Sea 
Fleet  before  the  Russian  ice  thawed  and  brought  over  those  half-a-million 
soldiers  from  Hambu^.'  to  frighten  our  old  women  that  you  could  have  got 
back  un-Jellicoed?  R.S.V.P. 


46  MEMORIES 

of  my  deciding  on  Scapa  Flow  as  the  base  for  the  fleet. 
For  as  Frau  von  Pohl  states,  its  specialty  was  that  the 
German  Destroyers  could  not  get  to  Scapa  Flow  and 
back  at  full  speed.  Their  fuel  arrangements  were  inade- 
quate for  such  a  distance.  "My  husband,"  she  said,  "was 
called  out  by  the  Emperor  to  put  things  right,  but  was 
in  a  constant  state  of  trepidation."  Alas!  trepidation  was 
on  our  side  also,  for  in  a  book  written  by  a  Naval  Lieu- 
tenant he  says  how  a  German  submarine  was  supposed  to 
have  got  inside  Scapa.1  As  a  matter  of  fact,  it  was  sub- 
sequently discovered  that  a  torpedo  had  rolled  out  of  its 
tube  aboard  one  of  our  Destroyers  and  passed  close  to 
H.M.S.  "Leda,"  who  quite  properly  reported  "a  torpedo 
has  passed  under  my  stern."  This  caused  all  the  excite- 
ment. 

Admiral  von  Pohl  succeeded  Admiral  von  Ingenol:  1  as 
Commander-in-Chief  of  the  German  High  Sea  Fleet.  It 
has  not  much  bearing  on  what  I  have  been  saying,  but  it 
is  interesting  that  Frau  von  Pohl  said  that  the  wife  of 
the  German  Minister  of  the  Interior  had  told  her  that 
her  husband,  on  November  6th,  five  days  before  the  Arm- 
istice, had  talked  to  the  Emperor  of  the  truth  as  to  the 
German  inferiority.  The  Emperor  listened,  firpt  with 
amazement,  and  then  with  incredulity,  and  ultimately  in 
a  passion  of  rage  called  him  a  madman  and  an  Arrogant 
fool,  and  turned  him  out  in  fury  from  his  presence.  This 
is  not  quite  on  all  fours  with  Ludendorff,  but  Xjudendorff 
may  have  been  confining  himself  strictly  to  the  fighting 
condition  of  the  Army;  and  without  doubt  he  was  right 
there,  for  General  Plumer  told  me  himself  he  had  the 
opportunity  of  bearing  personal  testimony  to  the  com- 
plete efficiency  of  the  German  Army  at  the  moment  of 
the  Armistice.  Plumer  was,  it  may  be  ^observed,  rightly 

»"A  Nayal  Lieutenant,  1914-1918,"  by  Etienne,  19ij»,  pp.  48  et  seq. 


VON   POHL  AND  VON  TIRPITZ       47 

accorded  the  honour  of  leading  the  British  Army  into 
Cologne. 

The  man  who  contemplates  all  the  things  that  may 
be  somewhat  at  fault  and  adds  up  his  own  war  deficiencies 
with  that  curious  failure  of  judgment  to  realise  that  his 
enemy  has  got  as  many  if  not  more,  has  neither  the  Na- 
poleonic nor  the  Nelsonic  gift  of  Imagination  and  Au- 
dacity. We  know,  now,  how  very  near — within  almost  a 
few  minutes  of  total  destruction  (at  the  time  the  battle- 
cruiser  "Blucher"  was  sunk) — was  the  loss  to  the  Ger- 
mans of  several  even  more  powerful  ships  than  the 
"Blucher,"  more  particularly  the  "Seydlitz."  Alas!  there 
was  a  fatal  doubt  which  prevented  the  continuance  of  the 
onslaught,  and  it  was  indeed  too  grievous  that  we  missed 
by  so  little  so  great  a  "Might  Have  Been!"  Well,  any- 
how, we  won  the  war  and  it  is  all  over.  But  I  for  one 
simply  abominate  the  saying  "Let  bygones  be  bygones." 
I  should  shoot  'em  now!  And  seek  another  Voltaire. 

I  get  the  following  from  Lord  Esher: — "In  January, 
1906,  King  Edward  sent  me  to  see  Mr.  Beit,  who  had 
been  recently  received  by  the  German  Emperor  at  Pots- 
dam. The  Emperor  said  to  Beit  that  'England  wanted 
war:  not  the  King — not,  perhaps,  the  Government;  but 
influential  people  like  Sir  John  Fisher.'  He  said  Fisher 
held  that  because  the  British  Fleet  was  in  perfect  order, 
and  the  German  Fleet  was  not  ready,  England  should 
provoke  war.  Beit  said  he  had  met  Fisher  at  Carlsbad, 
and  had  long  talks  with  him,  and  that  what  he  said  to  him 
did  not  convey  at  all  the  impression  gathered  by  His 
Imperial  Majesty.  The  Emperor  replied:  'He  thinks 
it  is  the  hour  for  an  attack,  and  I  am  not  blaming  him. 
I  quite  understand  his  point  of  view;  but  we,  too,  are 
prepared,  and  if  it  comes  to  war  the  result  will  depend 


48  MEMORIES 

upon  the  weight  you  cany  into  action — namely,  a  good 
conscience,  and  I  have  that.  .  .  .  Fisher  can,  no  doubt, 
land  100,000  men  in  Schleswig-Holstein — it  would  not  be 
difficult — and  the  British  Navy  has  reconnoitred  the  coast 
of  Denmark  with  this  object  during  the  cruise  of  the 
Fleet.  But  Fisher  forgets  that  it  will  be  for  me  to  deal 
with  the  100,000  men  when  they  are  landed.' ' 

The  German  Emperor  told  another  friend  of  mine 
the  real  spot.  It  was  not  Schleswig-Holstein — that  was 
only  a  feint  to  be  turned  into  a  reality  against  the  Kiel 
Canal  if  things  went  well.  No,  the  real  spot  was  the 
Pomeranian  Coast,  under  a  hundred  miles  from  Berlin, 
where  the  Russian  Army  landed  in  the  time  of  Frederick 
the  Great.  Frederick  felt  it  was  the  end  and  sent  for 
a  bottle  of  poison,  but  he  didn't  take  it,  as  the  Russian 
Empress  died  that  night  and  peace  came. 

Long  before  I  heard  from  Lord  Esher,  I  had  written 
the  following  note  about  Beit: — 

A  mutual  friend  at  Carlsbad  introduced  me  to  Mr. 
Beit,  the  great  South  African  millionaire.  He  adored 
Cecil  Rhodes,  and  so  did  I.  Beit,  so  I  was  told,  had  got 
it  into  his  head  that  I  somewhat  resembled  his  dead  friend, 
and  he  talked  to  me  on  one  occasion  about  Rhodes  until 
3  a.m.  after  dining  together.  Beit  begged  me  to  come 
and  see  him  on  my  return  to  London  at  his  house  in  Park 
Lane,  just  then  finished,  but  I  never  did  for  I  was  vastly 
busy  then.  I  was  troubled  on  all  sides,  like  St.  Paul. 

"Without  were  fightings,  and  within  were  fears." 
Fighting  outside  the  Admiralty,  and  fears  inside  it. 

He  really  was  a  dear  man,  was  Beit. 

Of  course  I  don't  know  anything  about  his  business 
character.  Apparently  there  is  a  character  a  man  puts 
on  in  business,  just  as  a  man  does  in  politics,  and  it  may 
be  quite  different  from  his  character  as  a  gentleman. 


VON   POHL  AND  VON  TIRPITZ       49 

Beit  every  year  made  a  pilgrimage  to  Hamburg,  to  see 
his  old  mother,  who  lived  there,  and  it  much  touched  me, 
his  devotion  to  her.  But  our  bond  of  affection  was  our 
affection  for  Rhodes. 

The  German  Emperor  sent  for  Beit,  for  I  gathered 
that  Beit  saw  how  peace  was  threatened.  I  don't  know 
if  this  was  the  reason  of  the  interview.  In  this  Imperial 
conversation  my  name  turned  up,  as  Lord  Esher  had 
made  a  statement  that  by  all  from  the  German  Emperor 
downwards  I  was  the  most  hated  man  in  Germany.  The 
German  Emperor  did  say  to  Beit  that  I  was  dangerous, 
and  that  he  knew  of  my  ideas  as  regards  the  Baltic  being 
Germany's  vulnerable  spot,  and  he  had  heard  of  my  idea 
for  the  "Copenhagening"  of  the  German  Fleet.  But  this 
last  I  much  doubt.  He  only  said  it  because  he  knew  it 
was  what  we  ought  to  have  done. 

With  regard  to  saying  anything  more  of  that  interview 
I  prefer  to  keep  silent.  In  an  Italian  book,  printed  at 
Brescia  in  A.D.  1594,  occur  these  words  of  Steven  Guazzo : 

"They  should  know,"  says  Anniball,  "that  it  is  no  lesse 
admirable  to  know  how  to  holde  one's  peace  than  to  know 
how  to  speake.  For,  as  wordes  well  uttered  shewe  elo- 
quance  and  learning,  so  silence  well  kept  sheweth  pru- 
dence and  gravitie!" 

I  wish  Beit  could  have  read  Stead's  splendid  apprecia- 
tion of  Cecil  Rhodes,  who  describes  him  as  a  Titan  of  in- 
trinsic nobility  and  sincerity,  of  innate  excellence  of  heart, 
and  immense  vitality  of  genius,  and  describes  the  splendid 
impulsiveness  of  his  generous  nature.  I  am  told  that 
Rhodes's  favourite  quotation  was  from  Marcus  Aurelius: 

"Take  care  always  to  remember  you  are  a  Roman, 
and  let  every  action  be  done  with  perfect  and  unaffected 
gravity,  humanity,  freedom  and  justice." 

Stead's  opinion  was  that  Rhodes  was  a  practical  mys- 
tic of  the  Cromwell  type.  Stead  was  right.  Rhodes  was 
a  Cromwell.  He  was  Cromwellian  in  thoroughness,  he 
was  Napoleonic  in  audacity,  and  he  was  Nelsonic  in  exe- 
cution. "Let  us  praise  famous  men." 

(Ecclesiasticus,  chapter  44,  verse  1). 


50  MEMORIES 

From  Lord  Fisher  to  a  Friend 

36,  BERKELEY  SQUARE. 

MY  DEAR  FRIEND, 

I  was  asked  yesterday:  Could  I  end  the  War? 

I  said:  "Yes,  by  one  decisive  stroke!" 

"What's  the  stroke?"  I  was  asked. 

I  replied:  "Never  prescribe  till  you  are  called  in." 

But  I  said  this:  "Winston  once  told  me,  'You  can 
see  Visions !  That's  why  you  should  come  back.'  " 

For  instance,  even  Jellicoe  was  against  me  in  sending 
the  Battle  Crusiers  to  gobble  up  von  Spec  at  the  Falkland 
Islands!  (All  were  against  me!)  Yes!  and  all  were 
against  me  in  1904 !  when  the  Navy  was  turned  inside  out 
—ships,  officers  and  men.  "A  New  Heaven  and  a  New 
Earth!"  160  ships  put  on  the  scrap  heap  because  they 
could  neither  fight  nor  run  away!  Vide  Mr.  Balfour's 
speech  at  Manchester  about  this  "Courageous  stroke  of 
the  pen!" 

We  now  want  another  Courageous  Stroke!  And  the 
Stroke  is  ready!  It's  the  British  Navy  waiting  to  strike! 
And  it  would  end  the  War! 

This  project  of  mine  sounds  an  impossibility!  but  so 
did  von  Spec's  annihilation!  Pitt  said,  "I  walk  on  Im- 
possibilities." All  the  old  women  of  both  sexes  would 
squirm  at  it!  They  equally  squirmed  when  I  did  away 
with  19^/2  millions  sterling  of  parasites  in  ships,  officers 
and  men,  between  1904  and  1910!  They  squirmed  when, 
at  one  big  plunge,  we  introduced  the  Turbine  in  the 
Dreadnought  (the  Turbine  only  before  having  been  in  a 
penny  steamboat) .  They  squirmed  at  my  introduction  of 
the  water  tube  Boiler,  when  I  put  the  fire  where  the  water 
used  to  be  and  the  water  where  the  fire  used  to  be!  And 
now  82  per  cent,  of  the  Horse  Power  of  the  whole  world 
is  Turbine  propulsion  actuated  by  water  tube  Boilers! 

They  squirmed  when  I  concentrated  88  per  cent,  of 
the  British  Fleet  in  the  North  Sea,  and  this  concentration 
was  only  found  out  by  accident,  and  so  published  to  the 


VON  POHL  AND  VON  TIRPITZ       51 

ignorant  world,  by  Admiral  Mahan  in  an  article  in  The 
Scientific  American! 

And  they  squirm  now  when  I  say  at  one  stroke  the 
War  could  be  ended.    It  could  be! 

Yours,  etc. 

(Signed)     FISHER. 

Lord  Fisher  to  a  Privy  Councillor 

86,  BERKELEY  SQUARE, 
LONDON, 

Dec.  27,  1916. 

MY  DEAR  FRIEND, 

You've  sent  me  a  very  charming  letter,  though  I 
begged  you  not  to  trouble  yourself  to  write,  but  as  you 
have  written  and  said  things  I  am  constrained  to  reply, 
lest  you  should  be  under  false  impressions.  I  have  an 
immense  regard  for  Jellicoe.  .  .  .  Callaghan  I  got  where 
he  was — he  was  a  great  friend  of  mine — but  Jellicoe  was 
better;  and  Jellicoe,  in  spite  of  mutinous  threats,  was  ap- 
pointed Admiralissimo  on  the  eve  of  war.  I  just  men- 
tion all  this  to  show  what  I've  done  for  Jellicoe  because 
I  knew  him  to  be  a  born  Commander  of  a  Fleet!  Like 
poets,  Fleet  Admirals  are  born,  not  made !  Nascitur  non 
fit!  Jellicoe  is  incomparable  as  the  Commander  of  a  Fleet, 
but  to  prop  up  an  effete  Administration  he  allowed  him- 
self to  be  cajoled  away  from  his  great  post  of  duty.  I 
enclose  my  letter  to  him. 

I  ne*fl  hardly  saw  how  private  all  this  is,  but  you  are 
so  closely  associated  with  all  the  wonders  we  effected  from 
October  21,  1904,  onwards,  that  I  feel  bound  to  take  you 
into  my  inmost  confidence.  Jellicoe  retorted  I  had  praised 
Beatty — so  I  had!  See  my  reply  thereon.  I  told  the 
Dardanelles  Commission  (why  they  asked  me  I  don't 
know!)  that  Jellicoe  had  all  the  Nelsonic  attributes  ex- 
cept one — he  is  totally  wanting  in  the  great  gift  of  In- 
subordination. Nelson's  greatest  achievements  were  all 
solely  due  to  his  disobeying  orders!  But  that's  another 
story,  as  Mr.  Kipling  would  say.  Wait  till  we  meet,  and 
I'll  astonish  you  on  this  subject!  Any  fool  can  obey  or- 


52  MEMORIES 

ders !  But  it  required  a  Nelson  to  disobey  Sir  John  Jervis 
at  the  Battle  of  Cape  St.  Vincent,  to  disregard  the  order 
to  retire  at  Copenhagen,  to  go  into  the  Battle  of  the  Nile 
by  night  with  no  charts  against  orders,  and,  to  crown  all, 
to  enter  into  the  Battle  of  Trafalgar  in  a  battle  forma- 
tion contrary  to  all  the  Sea  orders  of  the  time!  BLESS 
HIM!  Alas!  Jellicoe  is  saturated  with  Discipline!  He 
is  THE  ONE  MAN  to  command  the  Fleet,  BUT  he  is  not  the 
man  to  stand  up  against  a  pack  of  lawyers  clothed  with 
Cabinet  garments,  and  possessed  with  tongues  that  have 
put  them  where  they  are! 

David  was  nodding  when  he  said  in  the  Psalms:  "A 
man  full  of  words  shall  not  prosper  on  the  Earth."  They 
are  the  very  ones  that  DO  prosper!  For  War,  my  dear 
Friend,  you  want  a  totally  differently  constituted  mind  to 
that  of  a  statesman  and  politician!  There  are  great  ex- 
emplars of  immense  minds  being  utter  fools !  They  weigh 
everything  in  the  Balance !  I  know  great  men  who  never 
came  to  a  prompt  decision — men  who  could  talk  a  bird 
out  of  a  tree! 

War  4s  Big  Conceptions  and  Quick  Decisions.  Think 
in  Oceans.  Shoot  at  Sight!  The  essence  of  War  is  Vio- 
lence. Moderation  in  War  is  Imbecility.  All  we  have 
done  in  this  war  is  to  imitate  the  Germans!  We  have 
neither  been  Napoleonic  in  Audacity  nor  Cromwellian  in 
Thoroughness  nor  Nelsonic  in  execution.  Always,  al- 
ways, always  "Too  LATE"! 

I  could  finish  this  present  German  submarine  menace 
in  a  few  weeks,  but  I  must  have  POWER!  My  plans  would 
be  emasculated  if  I  handed  them  in.  I  must  be  able  to 
say  to  the  men  I  employ :  fflf  you  don't  do  what  I  tell  you, 
I'll  make  your  wife  a  widow  and  your  house  a  dunghill!!! 
(and  they  know  I  would!) 

Don't  prescribe  till  you're  called  in!     Someone  else 
might  put  something  else  in  the  pill! 
Heaven  bless  you! 

When  people  come  and  sympathise  with  me,  I  always 
reply,  with  those  old  Romans  2,000  years  ago  expelled: 


VON   POHL  AND  VON  TIRPITZ       53 

"Non    f ugimus : 
Nos  fugamur." 
"We  are  not  Deserters, 
We  are   Outcasts." 

Yours,  etc. 

(Signed)     FISHER. 

From  a  Privy  Councillor  to  Lord  Fisher 

Jan.  Bth,  1917. 

MY  DEAR  FISHER, 

I  have  always  thought  Jellicoe  one  of  those  rare  ex- 
ceptions to  the  general  rule  that  no  great  commander  is 
ever  a  good  administrator.  I  knew  you  had  picked  him 
out  long  ago  to  command  the  Grand  Fleet  if  war  came, 
and  it  is  in  my  mind  that  you  had  told  me  years  ago  your 
opinion  of  him  as  a  Sea  Commander  so  that  it  was  what 
I  was  expecting  and  hoping  for  at  the  time,  though  I  was 
sorry  for  Jellicoe  superseding  Callaghan  when  the  war 
broke  out,  but  I  remembered  your  old  saying,  "Some  day 
the  Empire  will  go  down  because  it  is  Buggins's  turn"! 
At  the  same  time,  I'm  not  sure  that  any  man  can  stand 
the  strain  of  active  command  under  present  conditions 
for  more  than  2%  years.  I  see  no  sign  of  tiredness  about 
Jellicoe  now,  but  it  must  be  almost  impossible  to  keep  at 
high  tension  so  long  without  losing  some  of  the  spring 
and  dash,  and  it  did  look  as  if  a  stronger  man  than  Jack- 
son was  wanted  as  First  Sea  Lord  at  the  Admiralty.  Of 
course  when  you  were  First  Sea  Lord  and  Jellicoe  with 
the  Grand  Fleet  it  was  absolutely  the  right  combination, 
but  as  they  haven't  brought  you  back  to  the  Admiralty 
I  feel  Jellicoe  is  the  man  to  be  where  he  is,  provided  his 
successor  is  the  right  man  too.  I  don't  know  Beatty,  so 
can  only  go  by  what  I  hear  of  him.  I  can  only  pray  that 
when  his  day  of  trial  comes  he  will  come  up  to  your  high 
standard. 

I  largely  agree  with  all  you  say  about  the  politicians. 
No  doubt  our  great  handicap  in  this  war  is  that  nearly 
all  the  party  leaders  get  their  positions  through  qualities 
which  serve  them  admirably  in  peace  time,  but  are  fatal 


54  MEMORIES 

in  war.  The  great  art  in  politics  in  recent  years  has  al- 
ways seemed  to  me  to  be  to  pretend  to  lead,  when  you 
are  really  following  the  public  bent  of  the  moment.  All 
sense  of  right  and  wrong  is  blunted,  and  no  one  stands 
up  for  what  he  honestly  believes  in  but  which  may  not  at 
the  moment  be  popular.  If  he  does,  he  is  regarded  as  a 
fool,  and  a  "waster,"  and  may  get  out.  A  habit  of  mind 
is  thus  formed  which  is  wholly  wanting  in  initiative,  and 
in  war  the  initiative  is  everything.  I  agree  with  you  ab- 
solutely:— "Make  up  your  mind,  and  strike!  and  strike 
hard  and  without  mercy"  We  have  thrown  away  chance 
upon  chance,  and  nothing  saves  us  but  the  splendid  fight- 
ing material  at  our  disposal.  I  doubt  whether  the  recent 
changes  will  bring  about  any  great  change.  I  trust  they 
may,  but,  whatever  happens,  neither  side  can  go  on  in- 
definitely. Everything  points  to  Germany's  economic 
condition  being  very  bad,  and  there  may  come  a  crash, 
but  meantime  the  submarine  warfare  is  most  serious,  and 
no  complete  answer  to  it  is  yet  available. 

Yours  very  sincerely, 


CHAPTER  IV 

ECONOMY  IS  VICTORY 

MR.  GLADSTONE  stood  by  me  last  night.  Mr.  Mc- 
Kenna  was  by  his  side.  I  am  not  inventing  this  dream. 
It  is  a  true  story.  (It  is  Godly  sincerity  that  wins — not 
fleshly  wisdom!) 

A  gentleman,  such  as  you,  was  by  way  of  interview- 
ing Mr.  Gladstone.  Mr.  Gladstone  was  castigating  me. 
I  was  a  Public  Department.  He  said  to  you,  who  were 
interviewing  him,  that  he  was  helpless  against  all  the  Pub- 
lic Departments,  for  he  was  fighting  for  Economy,  and 
he  gave  a  case  to  you  worse  than  either  Chepstow  or 
Slough.  I  am  sorry  to  say  it  was  the  War  Office  he  was 
illustrating,  as  I  am  devoted  to  Mr.  Churchill  and  would 
not  hurt  him  for  the  world — even  in  a  dream.  It  is  too 
puerile  to  describe  in  print,  but  what  Mr.  Gladstone 
pointed  to  I  have  told  you  in  conversation. 

Now,  the  above  is  an  Allegory. 

Imagine!  nearly  a  year  after  the  Armistice  and  yet 
we  are  spending  two  millions  sterling  a  day  beyond  an 
absolutely  fabulous  income — beyond  any  income  ever  yet 
produced  by  any  Empire  or  any  Nation! 

Sweep  them  out! 

Dr.  Macnamara,  a  few  days  since,  in  his  apologia  pro 
vita  sua,  excuses  his  Department  to  the  public  by  saying 
that  on  the  very  day  of  the  Armistice  the  Board  of  Ad- 
miralty sat  on  Economy!  So  they  did!  They  sat  on  it! 

Economy!  To  send  Squadrons  all  over  the  globe  that 

55 


56  MEMORIES 

were  not  there  before!  The  globe  did  without  them  dur- 
ing the  War — why  not  now?  "Oh  my  Sacred  Aunt!" 
(as  the  French  say  when  in  an  extremity) .  "Showing  the 
flag,"  I  suppose,  for  that  was  the  cry  of  the  "baying 
hounds"  in  1905  when  we  brought  home  some  160  vessels 
of  war  that  could  neither  fight  nor  run  away — and  whose 
Officers  were  shooting  pheasants  up  Chinese  rivers  and 
giving  tea  parties  to  British  Consuls.  How  those  Con- 
suls did  write !  And  how  agitated  was  the  Foreign  Office ! 
I  must  produce  some  of  these  communications  directly 
"DORA"  is  abolished.  Well,  that's  what  "showing  the 
flag"  means. 

Sweep  'em  out! 

Gladstone  was  hopeless  against  Departments — so  is 
now  the  Nation. 

Dr.  Macnamara  may  not  know  it,  but  Mr.  Herbert 
Samuel  was  to  have  had  his  place.  I  did  not  know  either 
of  them,  but  I  said  to  the  Prime  Minister,  "Let's  have 
the  'Two  Macs' !"  Mind,  I  don't  class  him  with  the  Mu- 
sic Hall  artist.  (Tempus:  Death  of  Campbell-Banner- 
man) — that  epoch — I  cannot  forget  Mr.  Asquith's  kind- 
ness to  me.  He  had  telephoned  to  me  from  Bordeaux 
after  seeing  the  King  at  Biarritz,  asking  me  to  meet  him 
on  his  arrival  home  next  night  at  8.30  p.m.  at  40  Cavendish 
Square.  His  motor  car  was  leaving  the  door  as  I  arrived. 
He  told  me  he  had  seen  the  King,  and  had  proposed  Mr. 
McKenna  as  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty.  The  King 
seemed  to  have  some  suspicion  that  I  should  not  think 
Mr.  McKenna  a  congenial  spirit.  I  made  no  objection 
— I  thought  to  myself  that  if  Mr.  McKenna  were  hostile 
then  Tempus  edax  rerum.  I  don't  think  Jonathan  and 
David  were  "in  it"  when  Mr.  McKenna  and  I  parted 
on  January  25th,  1910 — my  selected  day  to  go  and  plant 


ECONOMY   IS  VICTORY  57 

roses  in  Norfolk.  I  blush  to  quote  the  Latin  inscription 
on  the  beautiful  vase  he  gave  me: 

Joanni  Fisher 

Baroni  Kilverstonae 

Navarchorum  Principi,  Ensis,  Linguae, 

Stili  Valde  Perito, 
Vel  in  Concilio  vel  in  Praelio  insigni, 

Nihil  Timenti, 
Inflexibili,  Indomitabili,  Invincibili,1 

Pignus  Amicitiae  Sempiternae, 
Dederunt  Reginaldus  et  Pamela  McKenna. 

To 

John 

Lord  Fisher  of  Kilverstone 

First  of  Admirals 

Skilled  of  Sword,  Tongue  &  Pen 

Brilliant  in  Council  and  Battle 

Dreading  Nought 

Inflexible,  Indomitable,  Invincible1 
This  Token  of  Enduring  Friendship 

a  Gift  from 
Reginald  &  Pamela  McKenna 

And,  even  now,  when  time  and  absence  might  have  dead- 
ened those  feelings  of  affection,  he  casts  himself  into  the 
burning  fiery  furnace,  bound  with  me  in  a  trusteeship  of 
a  huge  estate  with  only  3s.  4>d.  in  the  £  left — all  that 
the  spendthrifts  leave  us.  "Showing  the  flag"  and  pre- 
sumably resuscitating  the  same  old  game  of  multitudinous 
dockyards  to  minister  to  the  ships  that  are  "showing  the 
flag";  and  so  more  Chepstows  and  more  Sloughs!  And 
these  multitudes  of  shipwrights  superfluous  in  Govern- 
ment Dockyards  who  ought  to  be  in  day  and  night  shifts 
making  good  at  Private  Yards  the  seven  millions  sterling 
of  merchant  vessels  that  Dr.  Macnamara's  Government 
associates  supinely  allowed  to  be  sent  to  the  bottom! 
Those  political  and  professional  associates,  who,  instead 

*  Note. — These  are  the  names  of  the  three  first  great  Battle  Cruisers  of  the 
Dreadnought  type. 


58  MEMORIES 

of  using  the  unparalleled  British  Navy  of  the  moment  as 
a  colossal  weapon  for  landing  Russian  Armies  in  Pome- 
rania  and  Schleswig-Holstein,  aided  by  the  calm  and  tide- 
less  waters  of  the  Baltic,  were  led  astray  to  follow  the 
road  that  led  to  conscription  and  an  army  of  Four  Mil- 
lion Soldiers,  while  the  Navy  was  described  in  the  House 
of  Commons  as  "a  subsidiary  service."  How  Napoleon 
must  now  be  chortling  at  his  prognostication  coming  true, 
that  he  put  forth  at  St.  Helena,  as  described  on  page  177 
of  Lord  Rosebery's  "Last  Phase,"  that  the  day  we  left 
the  sea  would  be  our  downfall! 

But  this  chapter  is  on  "Economy";  and  I  have  to  tell 
a  story  here  about  my  dear  friend  McKenna.  He  was 
Secretary  of  the  Treasury;  he,  and  an  almost  equal  friend 
of  mine — Mr.  Runciman — were,  as  we  all  know,  ex- 
tremely cunning  at  figures.  Lots  of  people  were  then 
looking  after  me — Kind  friends !  For  instance,  I  remem- 
ber my  good  friend  John  Burns  at  one  Cabinet  Commit- 
tee meeting  instructing  me  on  a  piece  of  blotting  paper 
how  to  deal  with  a  hostile  fleet.  I  don't  mean  to  say  that 
John  Burns  would  not  have  been  a  first-class  Admiral. 
To  be  a  good  Admiral,  a  man  does  not  need  to  be  a  good 
sailor.  That's  a  common  mistake.  He  wants  good  sailors 
under  him.  He  is  the  Conceptionist.  However,  to  re- 
sume. At  that  time  I  was  "Pooh-Bah"  at  the  Admiralty; 
the  First  Lord  was  in  a  trance,  and  the  Financial  Secre- 
tary had  locomotor  ataxy.  I  was  First  Sea  Lord,  and  I 
acted  for  both  the  Financial  Secretary  and  the  First  Lord 
in  their  absence.  I  wasn't  justified,  but  I  did  it.  So  I 
was  the  tria  juncta  in  uno;  and  I  referred,  as  First  Sea 
Lord,  a  matter  to  the  Financial  Secretary  for  his  urgent 
and  favourable  consideration,  and  he  favourably  com- 
mended it  to  the  First  Lord,  who  invariably  cordially  ap- 


ECONOMY   IS  VICTORY  59 

proved.     It  was  all  over  in  about  a  minute.     Business 
buzzed! 

(I'm  doubtful  whether  this  ought  to  come  out  before 
Dora's  abolished.  That's  why  I  wanted  these  papers  to 
be  edited  in  the  United  States  by  some  indiscreet  woman, 
where  no  action  for  libel  lies.  Colonel  House  did  ask  me 
to  go  to  America  when  I  saw  him  in  Paris  last  May. 
There  is  a  great  temptation,  for  the  climate  goes  from 
the  Equator  to  the  Pole,  and  a  dear  American  Admiral 
friend  of  mine  expatiated  to  me  on  the  joy  of  laying  hold 
of  the  hand  of  the  summer  girl  at  Palm  Beach  in  Florida 
and  never  letting  it  go  until  you  get  to  Bar  Harbour  in 
the  State  of  Maine.  I  have  had  endless  invitations  and 
most  hearty  words  from  Florida  to  Maine,  and  from 
Pasadena  to  Boston,  and  I  have  as  many  American  dear 
friends  as  I  have  English.) 

Well!  the  Treasury  could  not  make  out  how  all  those 
submarines  were  being  built — where  the  devil  the  money 
was  coming  from;  so  these  ferrets  came  over.  I  led  a 
dog's  life,  or  rather  a  rabbit's  life,  chased  from  hole  to 
hole.  Nothing  came  of  it ;  and  as  an  outcome  of  that  time 
I  left  the  Admiralty  with  61  good  submarines  and  13 
building.  The  Germans,  thank  God!  had  gone  to  the 
bottom  with  their  first  submarine,  which  never  came  up 
again,  and  the  few  more  they  had  at  that  time  were  not 
much  use. 

I  must  tell  a  story  now.  Mind!  I  don't  want  to  run 
down  the  Treasury.  The  Treasury  is  an  absolutely  neces- 
sary affliction. 

There  was  once  a  good  Parsee  ship-owner  with  a  good 
Captain.  But  this  Captain  would  charge  his  owner  with 
the  cost  of  his  carriage  from  his  ship  to  the  office.  Not 
being  far,  the  old  Parsee  thought  the  Captain  ought  to 
walk,  and  if  he  didn't  walk  then  he  ought  to  pay  for  the 


60  MEMORIES 

cab  himself.  They  call  the  carriages  "buggies"  at  Bom- 
bay. However,  when  the  old  Parsee  had  to  pay  the  bill 
next  month — there  it  was:  "Buggy — so  many  rupees." 
He  told  his  Captain  he  would  pay  that  once  but  never 
again;  and  not  finding  it  in  the  items  of  the  bill  pre- 
sented the  following  month  he  gave  the  Captain  his  cheque. 
As  the  Captain  put  it  in  his  pocket  he  said:  "Buggy's 
there!"  That's  what  happened  to  the  Treasury  and  the 
submarines. 

I  had  a  friend  in  the  Accountant-General's  Depart- 
ment called  "The  Mole."  He  taught  me  how  to  hide  the 
money.  I  may  observe  I  was  called  a  "Mole."  It  wasn't 
a  bad  name.  I  was  not  seen  or  heard,  but  I  was  recog- 
nised by  upheavals — "There  is  that  damned  fellow  Fisher 
again,  I  will  swear  to  it!"  But,  as  David  said,  "Let  us  be 
abundantly  satisfied"  that  we  have  such  among  us  as  Mc- 
Kennas  and  Runcimans.  I  should  like  to  let  those  ferrets 
loose  now.  However,  "Out  of  Evil  Good  comes."  Now 
comes  a  pardonable  digression,  I  think. 

Here's  a  letter  I  got  yesterday,  September  9th,  1919, 
coming  from  Russia.  Now  suppose  we  had  not  made  the 
very  damnedest  mess  of  Russia  ever  made  in  this  world 
— with  Lord  Milner  first  going  there  and  then  Mr.  Hen- 
derson, the  head  of  the  Labour  Party,  ambassadoring  (at 
least,  he  says  so)  and  this  nation  in  every  possible  con- 
ceivable way  alienating  the  Russian  people — then  I  never 
could  have  had  this  magnificent  letter  from  Russia  to  give 
you.  Just  observing,  before  I  quote  it:  Supposing  a 
French  Army  landed  at  Dover  to  help  us  subjugate  Ire- 
land? I  guess  we  should  all  forget  whether  we  were 
Tories  or  Carsons  or  Smillies,  and  unite  to  get  this  French 
army  out  of  our  Archangel,  and  the  Entente  Cordial 
would  be  "in  the  cart,"  as  the  vulgar  say.  Well,  this  is 
the  letter  which  does  my  heart  good.  It  is  from  a  young 


ECONOMY   IS  VICTORY  61 

lad  in  an  English  man-of-war,  now  off  St.  Petersburg. 
He  is  writing  of  the  recent  defeat  of  the  Russian  fleet 
there : — 

"There  has  been  such  a  fight.  I  was  only  a  looker-on. 
I  was  furious.  Kronstadt  was  attacked  by  our  motor 
boats  each  carrying  two  torpedoes"  [by  the  way,  I  was 
vilified  for  introducing  motor  boats]  "and  seaplanes  with 
destroyers  backing  them  up"  [isn't  it  awful  1  I  introduced 
destroyers  also].  "Two  Russian  battleships,  a  Depot  ship 
and  a  Destroyer  Leader  were  torpedoed. 

"Our  motor  boats  were  MAGNIFICENT! 

"I  nearly  cried  with  pride  at  belonging  to  the  same 
Race. 

"There  has  been  nothing  like  it  in  the  whole  War. 

"I  would  rather  take  part  in  a  thing  like  that  than 
be  .Prime  Minister  of  England.  You  would  have  been 
so  proud  if  you  could  have  seen  them." 

The  letter  is  to  the  boy's  mother.  On  it  is  written, 
by  him  who  sends  it  me,  "The  Nelson  touch,  I  think!" 


CHAPTER  V 

THE   DARDANELLES 

"UNTIL  THIS  DAY  EEMAINETH  THE  SAME  VAIL  UNTAKEN 

AWAY" 

2  Corinthians,  iii,  14. 

I  COMPABED  this  morning  early  what  I  had  formerly 
written  on  the  subject  of  Personalities  with  what  I  said 
to  you  yesterday  on  the  same  subject  in  my  peripatetic 
dictation — I  can't  recognise  what  is  in  type  for  the  same 
as  what  I  spoke. 

This  morning  I  get  a  letter  from  Lord  Rosebery. 
Lord  Rosebery  is,  I  think,  in  a  way  attached  to  me.  In 
fact  he  must  be,  or  I  should  not  have  drunk  so  much  of 
his  splendid  champagne!  Now  you  don't  call  me  "frisky" 
when  I  walk  up  and  down  talking  to  you;  and  although 
he  reads  the  actual  living  words  I  say  to  you,  yet  when 
he  sees  the  beastly  thing  in  print  he  calls  me  "frisky" !  I 
keep  on  saying  this  ad  nauseam,  to  keep  on  hammering 
it  not  only  into  you  but  into  the  public  at  large  who  hap- 
pen to  read  these  words — that  no  printed  effusion  can 
ever  represent  what,  when  face  to  face,  cannot  help  con- 
veying conviction  to  the  hearer.  And  so  we  come  to  the 
same  old  story,  that  the  written  word  is  an  inanimate 
corpse.  You  want  to  have  the  Soul  of  the  Man  pouring 
out  to  you  his  personality. 

And  here  again,  when  I  contrasted  the  notes  which 

62 


THE   DARDANELLES  63 

I  spoke  from  with  what  I  said,  again  I  find  I  don't  recog- 
nise them — Well!  enough  of  that! 

Now  if  anyone  thinks  that  in  this  chapter  they  are 
going  to  see  Sport  and  that  I  am  going  to  trounce  Mr. 
Winston  Churchill  and  abuse  Mr.  Asquith  and  put  it  all 
upon  poor  Kitchener  they  are  woefully  mistaken.  It  was 
a  Miasma  that  brought  about  the  Dardanelles  Adven- 
ture. A  Miasma  like  the  invisible,  scentless,  poisonous — 
deadly  poisonous — gas  with  which  my  dear  friend  Brock, 
of  imperishable  memory  and  Victoria  Cross  bravery, 
wickedly  massacred  at  Zeebrugge,  was  going  (in  unison 
with  a  plan  I  had)  to  polish  off  not  alone  every  human 
soul  in  Heligoland  and  its  surrounding  fleet  sheltered  un- 
der its  guns  from  the  Grand  Fleet,  but  every  rabbit.  It 
was  much  the  same  gas  the  German  put  into  the  "In- 
flexible" (which  I  commanded)  in  1882  to  light  the  en- 
gine-room. When  it  escaped  it  was  scentless;  instead  of 
going  up,  as  it  ought  to  have  done,  it  went  down,  and 
permeated  the  double-bottom,  and  we  kept  hauling  up 
unconscious  men  like  poisoned  miners  out  of  a  coalpit. 
Gas  catastrophe — Yes !  Brock  was  lost  to  us  at  the  mas- 
sacre of  Zeebrugge — lost  uselessly;  for  no  such  folly  was 
ever  devised  by  fools  as  such  an  operation  as  that  of  Zee- 
brugge divorced  from  military  co-operation  on  land. 
What  were  the  bravest  of  the  brave  massacred  for?  Was 
it  glory?  Is  the  British  Navy  a  young  Navy  requiring 
glory?  When  25  per  cent,  of  our  Officers  were  killed  a 
few  days  since,  sinking  two  Bolshevik  battleships,  etc., 
and  heroic  on  their  own  element,  the  sea,  we  all  thank 
God,  as  we  should  do,  that  Nelson,  looking  down  on  us 
in  Trafalgar  Square,  feels  his  spirit  is  still  with  us.  But 
for  sailors  to  go  on  shore  and  attack  forts,  which  Nelson 
said  no  sailor  but  a  lunatic  would  do,  without  those  on 
shore  of  the  military  persuasion  to  keep  what  you  have 


64  MEMORIES 

stormed,  is  not  only  silly  but  it's  murder  and  it's  criminal. 
Also  by  the  time  Zeebrugge  was  attacked,  the  German 
submarine  had  got  far  beyond  a  fighting  radius  that  re- 
quired this  base  near  the  English  coast.  As  Dean  Inge 
says:  "We  must  hope  that  in  the  Paradise  of  brave  men 
the  knowledge  is  mercifully  hid  from  them  that  they  died 
in  vain." 

Again,  this  is  a  digression — but  such  must  be  the  na- 
ture of  this  book  when  speaking  ore  rotundo  and  from  the 
fulness  of  a  disgusted  heart,  that  such  Lions  should  be  led 
by  such  Asses.  The  book  can't  convey  my  feelings,  how- 
ever carefully  my  good  friend  the  typewriter  is  taking  it 
down.  All  the  quill  drivers,  the  ink  spillers,  and  the 
Junius-aping  journalists  will  jeer  at  you  as  the  Editor, 
and  say,  "Why  didn't  you  stop  him?  Where's  the  argu- 
ment? Where's  the  lucid  exposition?  Where's  the  subtle 
dialectician  who  will  talk  a  bird  out  of  a  tree?  Where  is 
this  wonderful  personality  I'm  told  of,  who  fooled  King 
Edward,  and  ravished  virgins,  and  preached  the  Gospel 
(so  he  says)  ?  Like  Gaul,  he  is  divided  into  three  parts; 
we  don't  see  one  of  them." 

We'll  get  along  with  the  Dardanelles  now.  All  this 
will  make  pulp  for  paper  for  the  National  Review. 

"Imperial  Caesar  dead  and  turned  to  clay 
Now  stops  a  hole  to  keep  the  wind  away.' ' 

Well,  I  left  off  at  the  "Miasma"  that,  imperceptibly 
to  each  of  them  in  the  War  Council,  floated  down  on  them 
with  rare  subtle  dialectical  skill,  and  proved  so  incontest- 
ably  to  them  that  cutting  off  the  enemy's  big  toe  in  the 
East  was  better  than  stabbing  him  to  the  heart  in  the 
West;  and  that  the  Dardanelles  was  better  than  the  Baltic, 
and  that  Gallipoli  knocked  spots  off  the  Kiel  Canal,  or 


THE   DARDANELLES  65 

a  Russian  Army  landed  by  the  British  Fleet  on  the  Baltic 
shore  of  Schleswig-Holstein. 

Without  any  doubt,  the  "beseechings"  of  the  Grand 
Duke  Nicholas  in  the  Caucasus  on  January  2nd,  1915,1 
addressed  to  Kitchener  in  such  soldiery  terms,  moved 
that  great  man's  heart;  for  say  what  you  will,  Kitchener 
was  a  great  man.  But  he  was  a  great  deception,  all  the 
same,  inasmuch  as  he  couldn't  do  what  a  lot  of  people 
thought  he  could  do.  Like  Moses,  he  was  a  great  Com- 
missariat Officer,  but  he  was  not  a  Napoleon  or  a  Moltke ; 
he  was  a  Carnot  in  excelsis,  and  he  was  the  facile  dupe 
of  his  own  failings.  But  "Speak  well  of  those  who  treat 
you  well."  I  went  to  him  one  evening  at  5  p.m.,  with 
Mr.  Churchill's  knowledge,  and  said  to  him  as  First  Sea 
Lord  of  the  Admiralty  that  if  his  myrmidons  did  not 
cease  that  same  night  from  seducing  men  from  the  pri- 
vate shipyards  to  become  "Cannon-fodder"  I  was  going 
to  resign  at  6  p.m.  I  explained  to  him  the  egregious  folly 
of  not  pressing  on  our  shipbuilding  to  its  utmost  limits. 
He  admitted  the  soft  impeachment  as  to  the  seduction; 
and  there,  while  I  waited,  he  wrote  the  telegram  calling 
off  the  seducers.  If  only  that  had  been  stuck  to  after 
I  left  the  Admiralty,  we  shouldn't  be  rationed  now  in 
sugar  nearly  a  year  after  the  Armistice,  nor  should  we 
be  bidding  fair  to  become  a  second  Carthage.  We  left 
our  element,  the  sea,  to  make  ourselves  into  a  conscript 
nation  fighting  on  the  Continent  with  four  million  soldiers 
out  of  a  population  of  forty  millions.  More  than  all  the 
other  nations'  was  our  Army. 

The  last  words  of  Mr.  A.  G.  Gardiner's  article  about 

*On  January  2,  1915,  Russia  asked  for  a  demonstration  against  the  Turks 
in  order  to  relieve  the  pressure  they  were  putting  on  the  Russian  forces  in  the 
Caucasus.  Next  day  the  War  Office  cabled  a  promise,  through  the  Foreign 
Office,  that  this  should  be  done.  Before  he  sent  the  cable  Lord  Kitchener 
wrote  to  Mr.  Churchill:  "The  only  place  that  a  demonstration  might  have 
some  effect  in  stopping  reinforcements  going  East  would  be  the  Dardanelles." 


66  MEMORIES 

him  who  is  now  dictating  are  these:  "He  is  fighting  his 
last  great  battle.  And  his  foe  is  the  veteran  of  the  rival 
service.  For  in  his  struggle  to  establish  conscription  Lord 
Roberts's  most  formidable  antagonist  is  the  author  of  the 
'Dreadnought.'  " 

Well,  once  more  resuming  the  Dardanelles  story. 
These  side-lights  really  illuminate  the  situation.  These 
Armies  we  were  raising  incited  us  to  these  wild-cat  ex- 
peditions. I  haven't  reckoned  them  up,  but  there  must 
have  been  a  Baker's  Dozen  of  'em  going  on.  Now,  do 
endeavour  to  get  this  vital  fact  into  your  mind.  We 
are  an  Island.  Every  soldier  that  wants  to  go  anywhere 
out  of  England — a  sailor  has  got  to  carry  him  there  on 
his  back. 

Consequently,  every  soldier  that  you  raise  or  enlist,  or 
recruit,  or  whatever  the  proper  word  is,  unless  he  is  abso- 
lutely part  of  a  Lord  Lieutenant's  Army,  never  to  go 
out  of  England  and  only  recruited,  like  the  Militia — that 
splendid  force! — to  be  called  up  only  in  case  of  invasion 
— as  I  say,  every  soldier  that  is  recruited  on  any  other 
basis  means  so  much  tonnage  in  shipping  that  has  to  be 
provided,  not  only  to  take  him  to  the  Continent;  but  it's 
got  to  be  kept  ready  to  bring  him  back,  in  case  of  his 
being  wounded,  and  all  the  time  to  take  him  provisions, 
ammunition,  stores.  Those  vessels  again  have  to  have 
other  vessels  to  carry  out  coal  for  those  vessels,  and  those 
colliers  have  again  to  be  supplemented  by  other  colliers 
to  take  the  place  of  those  removed  from  the  normal  trade, 
and  the  coal  mines  themselves  necessitate  more  miners 
or  the  miners'  working  beyond  the  hours  of  fatigue  to 
bring  forth  the  extra  coal;  or  else  the  commercial  work 
of  the  nation  gets  diminished  and  your  economic  resources 
get  crippled,  and  that  of  itself  carried  in  extremis  means 
finishing  the  war.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  it  has  nearly  fin- 


THE  DARDANELLES  67 

ished  the  English  Nation — the  crippling  of  our  economic 
resources  by  endeavouring  to  swell  ourselves  out  like  the 
Frog  in  ^E  sop's  Fables,  and  become  a  great  continental 
Power — forgetting  the  Heaven-sent  gift  of  an  incom- 
parable Nary  dating  from  the  time  of  Alfred  the  Great, 
and  God's  providing  a  breakwater  600  miles  long  (the 
British  Islands)  in  front  of  the  German  Coast  to  stop  the 
German  access  to  the  ocean,  and  thus  by  easy  blockade 
killing  him  from  the  sea  as  he  was  killed  eventually.  Alas ! 
what  happened?  In  the  House  of  Commons  the  British 
Navy  is  called  a  subsidiary  Service.  And  then  Lord  Rose- 
bery  doesn't  like  my  "frisking";  and  cartoons  represent 
that  I  want  a  job;  and  fossil  Admirals  call  me  immodest! 

Mr.  Churchill  was  behind  no  one  both  in  his  enthusiasm 
for  the  Baltic  project,  and  also  in  his  belief  that  the  de- 
cisive theatre  of  the  war  was  beyond  doubt  in  Northern 
waters;  and  both  he  and  Mr.  Lloyd  George,  the  Chan- 
cellor of  the  Exchequer,  magnificently  responded  to  the 
idea  of  constructing  a  great  Armada  of  612  vessels,  to  be 
rapidly  built — mostly  in  a  few  weeks  and  only  a  few  ex- 
tending over  a  few  months — to  carry  out  the  great  pur- 
pose; and  I  prepared  my  own  self  with  my  own  hands 
alone,  to  preserve  secrecy,  all  the  arrangements  for  land- 
ing three  great  armies  at  different  places — two  of  them 
being  feints  that  could  be  turned  into  a  reality.  Also  I 
made  all  the  preparations,  shortly  before  these  expeditions 
were  to  start,  to  practise  them  embarking  at  Southampton 
and  disembarking  at  Stokes  Bay,  so  that  those  who  were 
going  to  work  the  Russian  Armies  would  be  practised  in 
the  art,  having  seen  the  experiment  conducted  on  a  scale 
of  twelve  inches  to  the  foot  with  50,000  men. 

(We  once  embarked  8,000  soldiers  on  board  the  Medi- 
terranean Fleet  in  nineteen  minutes,  and  the  fleet  steamed 
out  and  landed  them  at  similar  speed.  Old  Abdul  Hamid, 


68  MEMORIES 

the  Sultan,  heard  of  it,  and  he  complimented  me  on  there 
being  such  a  Navy.  That  was  the  occasion  when  a  red- 
haired,  short,  fat  Major,  livid  with  rage,  complained  to 
me  on  the  beach  that  a  bluejacket  had  shoved  him  into 
the  boat  and  said  to  him,  "Hurry  up,  you  bloody  lobster, 
or  I'll  be  'ungl"  I  explained  to  the  Major  that  the  man 
would  have  been  hanged;  he  was  responsible  for  getting 
the  boat  filled  and  shoved  off  in  so  many  seconds.) 

I  remember  that  at  the  War  Council  held  on  January 
28th,  1915,  at  11.30  a.m.,  Mr.  Churchill  announced  that 
the  real  purpose  of  the  Navy  was  to  obtain  access  to  the 
Baltic,  and  he  illustrated  that  there  were  three  naval 
phases.  The  first  phase  was  the  clearing  of  the  outer  seas ; 
and  that  had  been  accomplished.  The  second  phase  was 
the  clearing  of  the  North  Sea.  And  the  third  phase  was 
the  clearing  of  the  Baltic.  Mr.  Churchill  laid  stress  on 
the  importance  of  this  latter  operation,  because  Germany 
always  had  been  and  still  was  very  much  afraid  of  being 
attacked  in  the  Baltic.  For  this  purpose  special  vessels 
were  needed  and  the  First  Sea  Lord,  Lord  Fisher,  had 
designed  cruisers,  etc.,  etc.,  meaning  the  Armada.  Mr. 
Lloyd  George  said  to  me  at  another  meeting  of  the  War 
Council,  with  all  listening:  "How  many  battleships  shall 
we  lose  in  the  Dardanelles?"  "A  dozen!"  said  I,  "but  I 
prefer  to  lose  them  elsewhere."  In  dictating  this  account 
I  can't  represent  his  face  when  I  said  this. 

Here  I  insert  a  letter  on  the  subject  which  I  wrote  to 
Lord  Cromer  in  October,  1916: — 

36,  BERKELEY  SQUARB, 

October  llth,  1916. 

DEAR  LORD  CROMER, 

To-day  Sir  F.  Cawley  asked  me  to  reconcile  Kitch- 
ener's statement  of  May  14th  at  the  War  Council  that 
the  Admiralty  proposed  the  Dardanelles  enterprise  with 


THE  DARDANELLES  69 

my  assertion  that  he  (Kitchener)  did  it.  Please  see  ques- 
tion No.  1119.  Mr.  Churchill  is  speaking,  and  Lord 
Kitchener  said  to  him  "could  we  not  for  instance  make  a 
demonstration  at  the  Dardanelles?" 

I  repeat  that  before  Kitchener's  letter  of  Jan.  2nd  to 
Mr.  Churchill  there  was  no  Dardanelles!  Mr.  Churchill 
had  been  rightly  wrapped  up  in  the  splendid  project  of 
the  British  Army  sweeping  along  the  sea  in  association 
with  the  British  Fleet.  See  Mr.  Churchill  at  Question 
No.  1179. 

"The  advance  of  the  (British)  Army  along  the  Coast 
was  an  attractive  operation,  but  we  could  not  get  it  settled. 
Sir  John  French  wanted  very  much  to  do  it,  but  it  fell 
through." 

See  Lord  Fisher,  War  Council  of  Jan.  13th!  Sir  John 
French  then  present — (3  times  he  came  over  about  it]  — 
"Lord  Fisher  demurred  to  any  attempt  to  attack  Zee- 
brugge  without  the  co-operation  of  the  British  Army 
along  the  coast." 

As  to  the  Queen  Elizabeth,  Mr.  Churchill  is  right  in 
saying  there  was  great  tension  between  Kitchener  and 
myself.  He  came  over  to  the  Admiralty  and  when  I 
said  feif  the  ' Queen  Elizabeth'  didn't  leave  the  Dardanelles 
that  night  I  should!"  he  got  up  from  the  table  and  he 
left!  and  wrote  an  unpleasant  letter  about  me  to  the  Prime 
Minister!  Lucky  she  did  leave!!  The  German  subma- 
rine prowling  around  for  a  fortnight  looking  for  her  (and 
neglecting  all  the  other  battleships)  blew  up  her  dupli- 
cate wooden  image. 

Yours,  etc., 

(Signed)     FISHER. 

Mr.  Churchill  is  quite  correct.  I  backed  him  up  till 
I  resigned.  I  would  do  the  same  again!  He  had  cour- 
age and  imagination!  He  was  a  War  Man! 

If  you  doubt  my  dictum  that  the  Cabinet  Ministers 
only  were  members  of  the  War  Council  and  the  rest  of 
us  voice  tubes  to  convey  information  and  advice,  ask  Han- 
key  to  come  before  you  again  and  state  the  status! 

Otherwise  the   experts   would  be  the   Government! 


70  MEMORIES 

Kindly  read  what  Mr.  Asquith  said  on  Nov.  2nd,  1915, 
in  Parliament.     (See  p.  70.) 

(We  had  constructed  a  fleet  of  dummy  battleships  to 
draw  off  the  German  submarines.  This  squadron  ap- 
peared with  effect  in  the  Atlantic  and  much  confused  the 
enemy. ) 

Mr.  Asquith  also  was  miasma-ed;  and  it's  not  allow- 
able to  describe  the  discussion  that  he,  I,  and  Mr.  Churchill 
had  in  the  Prime  Minister's  private  room,  except  so  far 
as  to  observe  that  Mr.  Churchill  had  been  strongly  in 
favour  of  military  co-operation  with  the  fleet  on  the  Bel- 
gian Coast,  and  Sir  John  French,  on  three  different  visits 
to  the  War  Council,  had  assented  to  carrying  out  the 
operation,  provided  he  had  another  Division  added  to  his 
Force.  This  project — so  fruitful  as  it  would  have  been 
in  its  results  at  the  early  stage  of  the  war — was,  I  under- 
stand, prevented  by  three  deterrents:  (1)  Lord  Kitch- 
ener's disinclination;  (2)  The  French  didn't  want  the 
British  Army  to  get  into  Belgium;  (3)  The  Dardanelles 
came  along. 

I  objected  to  any  Naval  action  on  the  Belgian  Coast 
without  such  military  co-operation.  Those  flat  shores  of 
the  Belgian  coast,  enfiladed  by  the  guns  of  the  accom- 
panying British  Fleet,  rendered  that  enterprise  feasible, 
encouraging  and,  beyond  doubt,  deadly  to  the  enemy's 
sea  flank.  Besides  preventing  Zeebrugge  from  being 
fortified  and  the  Belgian  Coast  being  made  use  of  as  a 
jumping-off  place  for  the  air  raids  on  London  and  else- 
where, with  guns  capable  of  ranging  such  an  enormous 
distance  as  those  mounted  in  the  Monitors,  we  could  have 
enfiladed  with  great  effect  all  attacks  by  the  Germans. 

When  we  got  to  the  Council  table — the  members  hav- 
ing been  kept  waiting  a  considerable  time — the  Prime 


THE  DARDANELLES  71 

Minister  gave  the  decision  that  the  Dardanelles  project 
must  proceed;  and  as  I  rose  from  the  Council  Table 
Kitchener  followed  me,  and  was  so  earnest  and  even  emo- 
tional 1  that  I  should  return  that  I  said  to  myself  after 
some  delay:  "Well,  we  can  withdraw  the  ships  at  any 
moment,  so  long  as  the  Military  don't  land,"  and  I  suc- 
cumbed. I  was  mad  on  that  Armada  of  612  vessels,  so 
generously  fostered  by  Mr.  Lloyd  George  and  Mr. 
Churchill  and  sustained  by  the  Prime  Minister.  They 
were  of  all  sorts  and  sizes — but  alas!  as  they  reached  com- 
pletion they  began  to  be  gradually  perverted  and  diverted 
to  purposes  for  which  they  were  unfitted  and  employed 
in  waters  to  which  they  were  unsuited.  Nevertheless  they 
made  (some  of  them)  the  Germans  flee  for  their  lives,  and 
with  such  a  one  as  the  gallant  Arbuthnot  or  the  splendid 
Hood,  who  gave  their  lives  for  nothing  at  Jutland,  we 
might  have  had  another  Quiberon. 

To  resume :  I  gave  Lord  Cromer,  the  Chairman  of  the 
Dardanelles  Commission,  a  precis  of  the  Dardanelles  case. 
It  doesn't  appear  in  the  Report  of  the  Dardanelles  Com- 
mission. I  forgive  him  that,  because,  when  in  his  prime, 
he  did  me  a  good  deed.  It  is  worth  relating.  I  entreated 
him  to  cut  a  channel  into  Alexandria  Harbour  deep 
enough  for  a  Dreadnought;  and  he  did  it,  though  it  cost 

1"The  dramatic  scene  which  followed  may  one  day  furnish  material  for 
the  greatest  historical  picture  of  the  war.  Lord  Fisher  sat  and  listened  to  the 
men  who  knew  nothing  about  it  and  heard  one  after  another  pass  opinion  in 
favour  of  a  venture  to  which  he  was  opposed.  He  rote  abruptly  from  the 
table  and  made  as  if  to  leave  the  room. 

"The  tall  figure  of  Lord  Kitchener  rose  and  followed  him.  The  two  stood 
by  the  window  for  some  time  in  conversation  and  then  both  took  their  seats 
again.  In  Lord  Fisher's  own  words:  'I  reluctantly  gare  in  to  Lord  Kitchener 
and  resumed  my  seat.' 

"Mr.  Asquith  saw  that  drama  enacted,  and  Mr.  Asquith  knew  that  it  arose 
out  of  Lord  Fisher's  opposition  to  the  scheme  under  discussion.  But  he 
allowed  his  colleagues  on  the  Council  to  reach  their  conclusions  without  draw- 
ing from  the  expert  his  opinion  for  their  guidance.  The  monstrous  decision 
was  therefore  taken  without  it.  But  they  all  knew  it — mch  a  scene  could  not 
occur  without  everyone  knowing  the  cause." 


72  MEMORIES 

a  million  sterling,  and  thus  gave  us  a  base  of  incalculable 
advantage  in  certain  contingencies. 

I  will  now  shortly  pass  in  review  the  Dardanelles  state- 
ment that  I  gave  Lord  Cromer.  Those  who  will  read  this 
book  won't  want  to  be  fooled  with  figures.  I  give  a  fig- 
urative synopsis.  Of  course,  as  I  told  the  Dardanelles 
Commission  (Cromer  thought  it  judicious  to  omit  my 
comment,  I  believe),  the  continuation  of  the  Dardanelles 
adventure  beyond  the  first  operations,  confined  solely  to 
the  ships  of  the  fleet  which  could  be  withdrawn  at  any 
moment  and  the  matter  ended — the  continuation,  I  ex- 
plained to  the  Dardanelles  Commission,  was  largely  due 
to  champion  liars.  It  must  ever  be  so  in  these  matters. 
I  presume  that's  how  it  came  about  that  two  Cabinet  Min- 
isters— no  doubt  so  fully  fed  up  with  the  voice  tube,  as  it 
has  been  described — told  the  nation  that  we  were  within 
a  few  yards  of  victory  at  the  Dardanelles,  and  so  justi- 
fied and  encouraged  a  continuance  of  that  deplorable  mas- 
sacre. However,  no  politician  regards  truth  from  the 
same  point  of  view  as  a  gentleman.  He  puts  on  the  spec- 
tacles of  his  Party.  The  suppressio  veri  and  the  suggestio 
falsi  flourish  in  politics  like  the  green  baize  tree. 

Sworn  to  no  Party — of  no  Sect  am  I: 
I  can't  be  silent  and  I  will  not  lie. 

Before  the  insertion  of  the  following  narrative  pre- 
pared by  me  at  the  time  of  the  Dardanelles  Commission 
I  wish  to  interject  this  remark:  When  sailors  get  round 
a  Council  Board  they  are  almost  invariably  mute.  The 
Politicians  who  are  round  that  Board  are  not  mute ;  they 
never  would  have  got  there  if  they  had  been  mute.  That's 
why,  for  the  life  of  me,  I  can't  understand  what  on  earth 
made  David  gay  in  the  Psalms  "A  man  full  of  words  shall 
not  prosper  on  the  Earth."  They  are  the  very  ones  who 


THE   DARDANELLES  73 

do  prosper!  It  shows  what  a  wonderful  fellow  St.  Paul 
was;  he  was  a  bad  talker  and  yet  he  got  on.  He  gives  a 
bit  of  autobiography,  and  tells  us  that  his  bodily  presence 
was  weak  and  his  speech  contemptible,  though  his  letters 
were  weighty  and  powerful.  However,  in  that  case,  an- 
other Gospel  was  being  preached,  where  the  worldly  wise 
were  confounded  by  the  worldly  foolish. 

While  my  evidence  was  being  taken  before  the  Dar- 
danelles Commission,  the  Secretary  (Mears;  was  splendid 
in  his  kindness  to  me,  and  my  everlasting  gratitude  is 
with  the  "Dauntless  Three"  who  broke  away  from  their 
colleagues  and  made  an  independent  report.  They  were 
Mr.  Fisher — formerly  Prime  Minister  of  Australia  (a 
fellow  labourer),  Sir  Thomas  Mackenzie  (High  Commis- 
sioner  for  New  Zealand),  and  Mr.  Roch,  M.P.  Their 
Report  was  my  life-buoy;  a  precis  of  their  Report,  so  far 
as  it  affects  me  and  which  I  consider  unanswerable,  estab- 
lishes that  it  is  the  duty  of  any  Officer,  however  highly 
placed,  to  subordinate  his  views  to  that  of  the  Govern- 
ment, unless  he  considers  such  a  course  so  vitally  antag- 
onistic to  his  Country's  interests  as  to  compel  him  to  re- 
sign. I  know  of  no  line  of  action  so  criminally  outrageous 
and  subversive  of  all  discipline  as  that  of  public  wran- 
gling between  a  subordinate  and  his  superior,  or  the  Board 
of  Admiralty  and  an  Admiral  afloat,  or  the  War  Office 
and  their  Commander-in-Chief  in  the  Field. 

This  Dardanelles  Commission  reminds  me  of  another 
"cloudy  and  dark  day,"  as  Ezekiel  would  describe  it,  when 
five  Cabinet  Ministers,  at  the  instigation  of  an  Admiral 
recently  serving,  held  an  enquiry  absolutely  technical  and 
professional  on  matters  about  which  not  one  of  them  could 
give  an  authoritative  opinion  but  only  an  opinion  which 
regarded  political  opportunism — an  enquiry  neither  more 
nor  less  than  of  my  professional  capacity  as  First  Sea  Lord 


74  MEMORIES 

of  the  Admiralty.  The  trained  mind  of  Mr.  McKenna 
only  just  succeeded  in  saving  me  from  being  thrown  to 
the  wolves  of  the  hustings.  But  it  has  inflicted  a  mortal 
wound  on  the  discipline  of  the  Navy.  Hereafter  no 
mutinous  Admiral  need  despair  (only  provided  he  has 
political  and  social  influence)  of  obtaining  countenance 
for  an  onslaught  against  his  superiors;  and  we  may  yet 
lose  the  decisive  battle  of  the  world  in  consequence. 

The  following  is  my  narrative  of  my  connexion  with 
the  Dardanelles  Operations. 

"The  position  will  not  be  clear  and,  indeed,  will  be 
incomprehensible,  if  it  be  not  first  explained  how  very 
close  an  official  intimacy  existed  between  Mr.  Winston 
Churchill  and  Lord  Fisher  for  very  many  years  previous 
to  the  Dardanelles  episode,  and  how  Lord  Fisher  thus 
formed  the  conviction  that  Mr.  Churchill's  audacity,  cour- 
age, and  imagination  specially  fitted  him  to  be  a  War 
Minister. 

"When,  in  the  autumn  of  1911,  Mr.  Winston  Churchill 
became  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty,  Lord  Fisher  had 
retired  from  the  position  of  First  Sea  Lord  which  he  had 
occupied  from  October  21st,  1904,  to  January  25th,  1910, 
amidst  great  turmoil  all  the  time.  During  Lord  Fisher's 
tenure  of  office  as  First  Lord,  vast  Naval  reforms  were 
carried  out,  including  the  scrapping  of  some  160  ships  of 
no  fighting  value,  and  great  naval  economies  were  effected, 
and  all  this  time  (except  for  one  unhappy  lapse  when 
Mr.  Churchill  resisted  the  additional  'Dreadnought'  build- 
ing programme)  Mr.  Winston  Churchill  was  in  close  as- 
sociation with  these  drastic  reforms,  and  gave  Lord  Fisher 
all  his  sympathy  when  hostile  criticism  was  both  malig- 
nant and  perilous.  For  this  reason,  on  Mr.  Churchill's 
advent  as  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty  in  the  autumn  of 
1911,  Lord  Fisher  most  gladly  complied  with  his  request 


THE   DARDANELLES  75 

to  return  home  from  Italy  to  help  him  to  proceed  with 
that  great  task  that  had  previously  occupied  Lord  Fisher 
for  six  years  as  First  Sea  Lord,  namely,  the  preparation 
for  a  German  War  which  Lord  Fisher  had  predicted  in 
1905  would  certainly  occur  in  August,  1914,  in  a  written 
memorandum,  and  afterwards  also  personally  to  Sir  M. 
Hankey,  the  Secretary  of  the  Committee  of  Imperial  De- 
fence, necessitating  that  drastic  revolution  in  all  things 
Naval  which  brought  88  per  cent,  of  the  British  Fleet  into 
close  proximity  with  Germany  and  made  its  future  battle 
ground  in  the  North  Sea  its  drill  ground,  weeding  out  of 
the  Navy  inefficiency  in  ships,  officers,  and  men,  and  ob- 
taining absolute  fighting  sea  supremacy  by  an  unparal- 
leled advance  in  types  of  fighting  vessels. 

"Mr.  Churchill  then  at  Lord  Fisher's  request  did  a 
fine  thing  in  so  disposing  his  patronage  as  First  Lord  as 
to  develop  Sir  John  Jellicoe  into  his  Nelsonic  position. 
So  that  when  the  day  of  war  came  Sir  John  Jellicoe  be- 
came admiralissimo  in  spite  of  great  professional  opposi- 
tion. .  .  . 

"This  increased  Lord  Fisher's  regard  for  Mr. 
Churchill,  and  on  July  30th,  1914,  at  his  request,  Lord 
Fisher  spent  hours  with  him  on  that  fifth  day  before  war 
was  declared  and  by  his  wish  saw  Mr.  Balfour  to  explain 
to  him  the  Naval  situation.  This  is  just  mentioned  to 
show  the  close  official  intimacy  existing  between  Mr. 
Churchill  and  Lord  Fisher,  and  when,  on  October  20th, 
1914,  Mr.  Churchill  asked  Lord  Fisher  to  become  First 
Sea  Lord  he  gladly  assented  to  co-operating  with  him  in 
using  the  great  weapon  Lord  Fisher  had  helped  to  forge. 

"Mr.  Churchill  and  Lord  Fisher  worked  in  absolute 
accord  until  it  came  to  the  question  of  the  Dardanelles, 
when  Lord  Fisher's  instinct  absolutely  forbade  him  to 
give  it  any  welcome.  But  finding  himself  the  one  solitary 


76  MEMORIES 

person  dissenting  from  the  project  in  the  War  Council, 
and  knowing  it  to  be  of  vital  importance  that  he  should 
personally  see  to  the  completion  of  the  great  shipbuild- 
ing programme  of  612  vessels  initiated  on  his  recent  ad- 
vent to  the  Admiralty  as  First  Sea  Lord,  also  being  con- 
fident that  all  these  vessels  could  only  be  finished  rapidly 
if  he  remained,  Lord  Fisher  allowed  himself  to  be  per- 
suaded by  Lord  Kitchener  on  January  28th,  1915,  to 
continue  as  First  Sea  Lord.  That  point  now  remains  to 
be  related  in  somewhat  greater  detail. 

"To  begin  with: — When  exactly  10  years  previously 
Lord  Fisher  became  First  Sea  Lord,  on  October  20th, 
1904,  that  very  day  occurred  the  Dogger  Bank  incident 
with  Russia,  and  the  Prime  Minister  made  a  speech  at 
Southampton  that  seemed  to  make  war  with  Russia  a 
certainty ;  so  Lord  Fisher,  as  First  Sea  Lord,  immediately 
looked  into  the  Forcing  of  the  Dardanelles  in  the  event 
of  Russia's  movements  necessitating  British  action  in  the 
Dardanelles.  He  then  satisfied  himself  that,  even  with 
military  co-operation,  it  was  mighty  hazardous,  and  he  so 
represented  it  at  that  time.  The  proceedings  of  the  Com- 
mittee of  Imperial  Defence,  however,  will  furnish  full  de- 
tails respecting  the  Dardanelles,  especially  Field-Marshal 
Lord  Nicholson's  remarks  when  Director  of  Military 
Operations,  and  also  those  of  Sir  N.  Lyttelton  when  Chief 
of  the  General  Staff. 

"But  Lord  Fisher  had  had  the  great  advantage  of 
commanding  a  battleship  under  Admiral  Sir  Geoffrey 
Phipps  Hornby  when,  during  the  Russo-Turkish  War, 
that  celebrated  Flag  Officer  lay  with  the  British  Fleet 
near  Constantinople,  and  Lord  Fisher  listened  at  the  feet 
of  that  Naval  Gamaliel  when  he  supported  Nelson's  dic- 
tum that  no  sailor  but  a  fool  would  ever  attack  a  fort! 
Nevertheless,  Nelson  did  attack  Copenhagen — was  really 


THE  DARDANELLES  77 

beaten,  but  he  bluffed  the  Danish  Crown  Prince  and  came 
out  ostensibly  as  victor.  Nelson's  Commander-in-Chief, 
Sir  Hyde  Parker,  knew  Nelson  was  beaten  and  signalled 
to  him  to  retreat,  but  Nelson  disobeyed  orders  as  he  did 
at  St.  Vincent  and  the  Nile,  and  with  equal  judgment. 

"We  might  have  done  the  same  bluff  with  the  Turks, 
had  promptitude  and  decision  directed  us,  but  procrasti- 
nation, indecision,  and  vacillation  dogged  us  instead.  The 
29th  Division  oscillated  for  weeks  between  France  and 
Turkey.  (See  below  my  notes  of  the  War  Council  Meet- 
tings  of  February  19th  and  24th.) 

"Note. — See  Mr.  Churchill's  statement  at  the  19th 
Meeting  of  the  War  Council  on  May  14th,  1915,  that  had 
it  been  known  three  months  previously  that  an  English 
army  of  100,000  men  would  have  been  available  for  the 
attack  on  the  Dardanelles,  the  naval  attack  would  never 
have  been  undertaken. 

"The  War  Council  met  on  May  14th,  1915,  and  cer- 
tain steps  proposed  to  be  taken  by  Mr.  Churchill  imme- 
diately afterwards,  decided  Lord  Fisher  that  he  could  no 
longer  support  the  Dardanelles  operations.  He  could  not 
go  further  in  this  project  with  Mr.  Churchill,  and  was 
himself  convinced  that  we  should  seize  that  moment  to 
give  up  the  Dardanelles  operations.  So  Lord  Fisher 
went. 

"Lord  Fisher's  parting  with  Mr.  Churchill  was  pa- 
thetic, but  it  was  the  only  way  out.  When  the  Prime 
Minister  read  to  Lord  Fisher  Lord  Kitchener's  letter  to 
the  Prime  Minister  attacking  Lord  Fisher  for  withdraw- 
ing the  'Queen  Elizabeth'  from  certain  destruction  at  the 
Dardanelles,  Lord  Fisher  then  realised  how  splendid  had 
been  Mr.  Churchill's  support  of  him  as  to  her  withdrawal. 
A  few  days  afterwards  the  German  submarine  that  had 
been  hovering  round  the  British  Fleet  for  a  fortnight 


78  MEMORIES 

blew  up  the  wooden  image  of  the  super-Dreadnought  we 
had  sent  out  there  as  a  bait  for  the  German  submarines, 
showing  how  the  Germans  realised  the  'Queen  Eliza- 
beth's' value  in  letting  all  the  other  older  battleships  alone 
for  about  a  fortnight  till  they  thought  they  really  had 
the  'Queen  Elizabeth'  in  this  wooden  prototype ! 

"It  must  be  emphasised  on  Mr.  Churchill's  behalf  that 
he  had  the  whole  Naval  opinion  at  the  Admiralty  as  well 
as  the  Naval  opinion  at  the  Dardanelles  with  him — Lord 
Fisher  was  the  only  dissentient. 

"It  must  be  again  repeated  that  though  Lord  Fisher 
was  so  decidedly  against  the  Dardanelles  operations  from 
the  very  first,  yet  he  was  very  largely  influenced  to  re- 
main because  he  was  convinced  it  was  of  vital  importance 
to  the  nation  to  carry  out  the  large  building  programme 
initiated  by  him,  which  was  to  enable  the  Navy  to  deal 
such  a  decisive  blow  in  the  decisive  theatre  (in  Northern 
Waters)  as  would  shorten  the  war — by  the  great  projects 
alluded  to  by  Mr.  Churchill  at  the  9th  meeting  of  the 
War  Council  on  January  28th,  1915,  when  he  described 
the  Three  Naval  phases  of  the  War,  leading  to  our  occu- 
pation of  the  Baltic  as  being  the  supreme  end  to  be  at- 
tained. 

"Had  Lord  Fisher  maintained  his  resignation  on  28th 
January,  1915,  the  Dardanelles  enterprise  would  certainly 
still  have  gone  on,  because  it  was  considered  a  matter  of 
vital  political  expediency  (see  Mr.  Balfour's  memoran- 
dum of  24th  February,  1915),  but  those  612  new  vessels 
would  not  have  been  built,  or  they  would  have  been  so 
delayed  as  to  be  useless.  As  it  was,  by  Lord  Fisher's 
leaving  the  Admiralty  even  so  late  as  May  22nd,  1915, 
there  was  great  delay  in  the  completion  of  the  five  fast 
Battle  Cruisers  and  in  the  laying  down  of  further  De- 
stroyers and  Submarines,  and,  in  fact,  four  large  Moni- 


THE   DARDANELLES  79 

tors  (some  of  which  had  been  advanced  one  thousand 
tons)  that  had  been  considerably  advanced  were  stopped 
altogether  for  a  time  and  the  further  building  of  fast  Bat- 
tle Cruisers  was  given  up.  Lord  Fisher  had  prepared  a 
design  for  a  very  fast  Battle  Cruiser  carrying  six  20-inch 
guns,  and  the  model  was  completed.  She  was  of  excep- 
tionally light  draught  of  water  and  of  exceptionally  high 
speed.  He  had  arranged  for  the  manufacture  of  these 
20-inch  guns. 

"It  has  also  to  be  emphasised  that  that  programme  of 
new  vessels  owed  its  inception  to  a  great  plan,  sketched 
out  in  secret  memoranda,  which  it  can  be  confidently  as- 
serted would  have  produced  such  great  military  results 
as  would  certainly  have  ended  the  war  in  1915. 

"These  plans  were  in  addition  to  that  concurred  in  by 
Sir  John  French  in  his  three  visits  to  the  War  Council 
in  November,  1914,  for  joint  action  of  the  British  Army 
and  the  British  Fleet  on  the  Belgian  Coast. 

"Note. — See  Note  to  8th  meeting  of  the  War  Council 
on  January  13th,  1915,  where  Lord  Fisher  demurs  to  any 
Naval  action  without  the  co-operation  of  the  British  Army 
along  the  coast." 

I  quote  here  a  report  of  the  opinion  of  Mr.  Andrew 
Fisher,  the  High  Commissioner  of  Australia,  and  for- 
merly Prime  Minister  of  Australia;  a  member  of  the  Dar- 
danelles Commission,  on  the  duty  of  departmental  ad- 
visers : — 

"I  am  of  opinion  it  would  seal  the  fate  of  responsible 
government  if  servants  of  the  State  were  to  share  the 
responsibility  of  Ministers  to  Parliament  and  to  the  people 
on  matters  of  public  policy.  The  Minister  has  command 
of  the  opinions  and  views  of  all  officers  of  the  department 
he  administers  on  matters  of  public  policy.  Good  stew- 


8o  MEMORIES 

ardship  demands  from  Ministers  of  the  Crown  frank,  fair, 
full  statements  of  all  opinions  of  trusted  experienced  offi- 
cials to  colleagues  when  they  have  direct  reference  to  mat- 
ters of  high  policy."  I  give  prominence  to  this  because 
Ministers,  and  Ministers  only,  must  be  responsible  to  the 
democracy. 

If  they  find  themselves  in  conflict  with  their  expert 
advisers  they  should  sack  the  advisers  or  themselves  resign. 
An  official,  whether  a  Sea  Lord  or  a  junior  clerk — having 
been  asked  a  question  by  his  immediate  chief  and  given 
his  answer  and  the  chief  acts  contrary  to  advice — should 
not  be  subjected  to  reprimand  for  not  stating  to  the  board 
of  directors  that  he  disagrees  with  his  chief  or  that  he  has 
given  a  reluctant  consent.  //  there  is  blame  it  rests  with 
the  Minister  and  not  with  his  subordinates. 

"I  dissent  in  the  strongest  terms''  says  Mr.  Fisher  in 
his  Minority  Report,  "from  any  suggestion  that  the  De- 
partmental Adviser  of  a  Minister  in  his  company  at  a 
Council  meeting  should  express  any  views  at  all  other  than 
to  the  Minister  and  through  him  unless  specifically  invited 
to  do  so" 

Sir  Thomas  Mackenzie  expresses  exactly  the  same 
view. 

Mr.  Asquith,  in  the  House  of  Commons  on  November 
2,  1915,  said: — 

"It  is  the  duty  of  the  Government — of  any  Govern- 
ment— to  rely  very  largely  upon  the  advice  of  its  military 
and  naval  counsellors ;  but  in  the  long  run,  a  Government 
which  is  worthy  of  the  name,  which  is  adequate  in  the  dis- 
charge of  the  trust  which  the  nation  reposes  in  it,  must 
bring  all  these  things  into  some  kind  of  proportion  one 
to  the  other,  and  sometimes  it  is  not  only  expedient,  but 
necessary,  to  run  risks  and  to  encounter  dangers  which 
pure  naval  or  military  policy  would  warn  you  against." 

The  Government  and  the  War  Council  knew  my  opin- 
ion— as  I  told  the  Dardanelles  Commission,  it  was  known 


William  Nicholson 


THE   nBST  SEA   LORD 


[80 


By  kind  permission  of  "The  Pall  Mall  Gazette' 


THE   KINGFISHER 

"This  bird  has  a  somewhat  long  bill  and  is  equipped  with  a  brilliant  blue 
back  and  tail;  the  latter  not  of  sufficient  length  to  be  in  the  way.  Its  usual 
cry  is  much  like  the  typical  cry  of  the  family,  but  besides  this  it  gives  a  low, 
hoarse  croak  from  time  to  time  when  seated  in  the  shadows.  Although  ex- 
clusively a  water  bird,  it  is  not  unfrequently  found  at  some  distance  from 
any  water.  It  is  very  wary,  keeping  a  good  lookout,  and  defends  its  breeding 
place  with  great  courage  and  daring." — Zoological  Studies. 


THE  FUNERAL  OF  KINO  EDWARD  VII. 

Lord  Fisher  as  Principal  Aide-de-Camp. 


[81 


THE   DARDANELLES  81 

to  all.  It  was  known  even  to  the  charwomen  at  the  Ad- 
miralty. It  was  my  duty  to  acquiesce  cheerfully  and  do 
my  best,  but  when  the  moment  came  that  there  was 
jeopardy  to  the  Nation  I  resigned. 

Such  is  the  stupidity  of  the  General  Public — and  such 
was  the  stupidity  of  Lord  Cromer — that  it  was  not  real- 
ized there  would  be  an  end  of  Parliamentary  Government 
and  of  the  People's  will,  therefore,  being  followed,  if  ex- 
perts were  able  to  override  a  Government  Policy.  Sea 
Lords  are  the  servants  of  the  Government.  Having  given 
their  advice,  then  it's  their  duty  to  carry  out  the  com- 
mands of  the  political  party  in  power  until  the  moment 
comes  when  they  feel  they  can  no  longer  support  a  policy 
which  they  are  convinced  is  disastrous. 

Here  follows  a  summary  for  the  Chairman  of  the  Dar- 
danelles Commission  of  my  evidence  (handed  to  Lord 
Cromer,  but  not  circulated  by  him  or  printed  in  the  Re- 
port of  the  Commission) : — 

"Mr.  Churchill  and  I  worked  in  absolute  accord  at 
the  Admiralty  until  it  came  to  the  question  of  the  Dar- 
danelles. 

"I  was  absolutely  unable  to  give  the  Dardanelles  pro- 
posal any  welcome,  for  there  was  the  Nelsonic  dictum  that 
'any  sailor  who  attacked  a  fort  was  a  fool.' 

"My  direct  personal  knowledge  of  the  Dardanelles 
problem  dates  back  many  years.  I  had  had  the  great  ad- 
vantage of  commanding  a  .battleship  under  Admiral  Sir 
Geoffrey  Phipps  Hornby  when,  during  the  Russo-Turk- 
ish  War,  that  celebrated  flag  officer  took  the  Fleet  through 
the  Dardanelles. 

"I  had  again  knowledge  of  the  subject  as  Commander- 
in- Chief  of  the  Mediterranean  Fleet  for  three  years  dur- 
ing the  Boer  War,  when  for  a  long  period  the  Fleet  un- 
der my  command  lay  at  Lemnos  off  the  mouth  of  the 
Dardanelles,  thus  affording  me  means  of  close  study  of 
the  feasibility  of  forcing  the  Straits. 


82  MEMORIES 

"When  I  became  First  Sea  Lord  on  October  20th, 
1904,  there  arrived  that  very  day  the  news  of  the  Dogger 
Bank  incident  with  Russia. 

"In  my  official  capacity,  in  view  of  the  possibility  of  a 
war  with  Russia,  I  immediately  examined  the  question 
of  the  forcing  of  the  Dardanelles,  and  I  satisfied  myself 
at  that  time  that  even  with  military  co-operation  the 
operation  was  mighty  hazardous. 

"Basing  myself  on  the  experience  gained  over  so  many 
years,  when  the  project  was  mooted  in  the  present  War 
my  opinion  was  that  the  attempt  to  force  the  Dardanelles 
would  not  succeed. 

"I  was  the  only  member  of  the  War  Council  who  dis- 
sented from  the  project,  but  I  did  not  carry  my  dissent 
to  the  point  of  resignation  because  I  understood  that  there 
were  overwhelming  political  reasons  why  the  attempt  at 
least  should  be  made. 

"Moreover,  I  felt  it  to  be  of  vital  importance  that  I 
should  personally  see  to  the  completion  of  the  great  ship- 
building programme  which  was  then  under  construction, 
which  had  been  initiated  by  me  on  my  advent  to  the  Ad- 
miralty, and  which  included  no  less  than  612  vessels. 

"The  change  in  my  opinion  as  to  the  relative  impor- 
tance of  the  probable  failure  in  the  Dardanelles  began 
when  the  ever-increasing  drain  upon  the  Fleet,  as  the  re- 
sult of  the  prosecution  of  the  Dardanelles  undertaking, 
reached  a  point  at  which  in  my  opinion  it  destroyed  the 
possibility  of  other  naval  operations  which  I  had  in  view, 
and  even  approached  to  jeopardising  our  naval  supremacy 
in  the  decisive  theatre  of  the  War. 

"I  may  be  pressed  with  the  question  why  did  I  not 
carry  my  objections  to  the  point  of  resignation  when  the 
decision  was  first  reached  to  attack  the  Dardanelles  with 
naval  forces. 

"In  my  judgment  it  is  not  the  business  of  the  chief 
technical  advisers  of  the  Government  to  resign  because 
their  advice  is  not  accepted,  unless  they  are  of  opinion 
that  the  operation  proposed  must  lead  to  disastrous  re- 
sults. 


THE  DARDANELLES  83 

"The  attempt  to  force  the  Dardanelles,  though  a  fail- 
ure, would  not  have  been  disastrous  so  long  as  the  ships 
employed  could  be  withdrawn  at  any  moment,  and  only 
such  vessels  were  engaged,  as  in  the  beginning  of  the 
operations  was  in  fact  the  case,  as  could  be  spared  with- 
out detriment  to  the  general  service  of  the  Fleet. 

"I  may  next  be  asked  whether  I  made  any  protest  at 
the  War  Council  when  the  First  Lord  proposed  the  Dar- 
danelles enterprise,  or  at  any  later  date. 

"Mr.  Churchill  knew  my  opinion.  I  did  not  think  it 
would  tend  towards  good  relations  between  the  First  Lord 
and  myself  nor  to  the  smooth  working  of  the  Board  of 
Admiralty  to  raise  objections  in  the  War  Council's  dis- 
cussions. My  opinion  being  known  to  Mr.  Churchill  in 
what  I  regarded  as  the  proper  constitutional  way,  I  pre- 
ferred thereafter  to  remain  silent. 

"When  the  operation  was  undertaken  my  duty  from 
that  time  onwards  was  confined  to  seeing  that  the  Govern- 
ment plan  was  carried  out  as  successfully  as  possible  with 
the  available  means. 

"I  did  everything  I  could  to  secure  its  success,  and  1 
only  resigned  when  the  drain  it  was-  making  on  the  re- 
sources of  the  Navy  became  so  great  as  to  jeopardise  the 
major  operations  of  the  Fleet. 

"On  May  14th,  1915,  the  War  Council  made  it  clear 
to  me  that  the  great  projects  in  Northern  waters  which  I 
had  in  view  in  laying  down  the  Armada  of  new  vessels 
were  at  an  end,  and  the  further  drain  on  our  naval  re- 
sources foreshadowed  that  evening  convinced  me  that  I 
could  no  longer  countenance  the  Dardanelles  operations, 
and  the  next  day  I  resigned. 

"It  seemed  to  me  that  I  was  faced  at  last  by  a  pro- 
gressive frustration  of  my  main  scheme  of  naval  strategy. 

"Gradually  the  crowning  work  of  war  construction 
was  being  diverted  and  perverted  from  its  original  aim. 
The  Monitors,  for  instance,  planned  for  the  banks  and 
shallows  of  Northern  waters,  were  sent  off  to  the  Mediter- 
ranean where  they  had  never  been  meant  to  operate. 

"I  felt  I  was  right  in  remaining  in  office  until  this  sit- 


84  MEMORIES 

nation,  never  contemplated  at  first  by  anyone,  was  ac- 
cepted by  the  War  Council.  I  felt  right  in  resigning  on 
this  decision. 

"My  conduct  and  the  interpretation  of  my  responsi- 
bility I  respectfully  submit  to  the  judgment  of  the  Com- 
mittee. Perhaps  I  may  be  allowed  to  say  that  as  regards 
the  opinion  I  held  I  was  right. 

FISHEB, 
October  7th,  1916." 

This  is  a  letter  which  I  wrote  to  Colonel  Sir  Maurice 
Hankey,  Secretary  of  the  War  Council: — 

September  1st,  1Q16. 

DEAR  HANKEY, 

IN  reply  to  your  letter  in  which  you  propose  to  give 
only  one  extract  concerning  my  hostility  to  the  Darda- 
nelles enterprise,  do  you  not  think  that  the  following 
words  in  the  official  Print  of  Proceedings  of  War  Council 
should  be  inserted  in  your  report  in  justice  to  me? 

"19th  Meeting  of  the  War  Council,  May  14>th,  1915  — 
Lord  Fisher  reminded  the  War  Council  that  he  had  been 
no  party  to  the  Dardanelles  operations.  When  the  mat- 
ter was  first  under  consideration  he  had  stated  his  opinion 
to  the  Prime  Minister  at  a  private  interview." 

The  reason  I  abstained  from  any  further  pronounce- 
ment was  stated. 

Yours,  etc., 
(Signed)         FISHEB. 

I  note  you  will  kindly  testify  to  the  accuracy  of  my 
statement  that  I  left  the  Council  table  with  the  intention 
of  resigning,  but  yielded  to  Kitchener's  entreaty  to  return. 

Have  you  the  letter  I  wrote  on  January  28th,  1915,  to 
Mr.  Asquith,  beginning: — 

"I  am  giving  this  note  to  Colonel  Hankey  to  hand  to 

you ,"  because  in  it  occur  these  following 

words: — "At  any  moment  the  great  crisis  may  occur  in 
the  North  Sea,  for  the  German  High  Sea  Fleet  may  be 


THE  DARDANELLES  85 

driven  to  fight  by  the  German  Military  Headquarters, 
as  part  of  some  great  German  military  operation." 

It  looks  as  if  Hindenburg  might  try  such  a  coup  now. 

I  heard  from  Jellicoe  a  few  days  since  that  the  Zeppe- 
lins now  made  the  German  submarines  very  formidable, 
and  by  way  of  example  he  pointed  out  that  the  "Fal- 
mouth"  was  torpedoed  even  when  at  a  speed  of  25  knots 
and  zigzagging  every  five  minutes. 

In  some  notes  compiled  on  this  matter  I  find  it  re- 
corded that  I  was  present  at  the  meeting  on  the  13th  Jan- 
uary, when  the  plan  was  first  proposed  and  approved  in 
principle,  and  was  also  present  at  the  meeting  on  the  eve- 
ning of  the  28th  January,  when  Mr.  Churchill  announced 
that  the  Admiralty  had  decided  to  push  on  with  the  proj- 
ect. On  the  morning  of  the  28th  January  I  said  that  I 
had  understood  that  this  question  would  not  be  raised  to- 
day, and  that  the  Prime  Minister  was  well  aware  of  my 
own  views  in  regard  to  it. 

After  the  failure  of  the  naval  attack  on  the  Narrows 
on  the  18th  March,  I  remarked  at  the  meeting  on  the  19th 
March  that  I  had  always  said  that  a  loss  of  12  battleships 
must  be  expected  before  the  Dardanelles  could  be  forced 
by  the  Navy  alone,  and  that  I  still  adhered  to  this  view. 

Also,  at  the  meeting  held  on  the  14th  May,  I  reminded 
the  War  Council  that  I  had  been  no  party  to  the  Darda- 
nelles operations.  When  the  matter  was  under  considera- 
tion I  had  stated  my  opinion  to  the  Prime  Minister  at  a 
private  interview. 

Some  light  is  perhaps  thrown  on  my  general  attitude 
towards  naval  attacks  by  the  following  remark,  made  at 
the  meeting  held  on  the  13th  January,  which  related,  not 
to  the  Dardanelles  project,  but  to  a  proposed  naval  attack 
on  Zeebrugge: — 

I  said  that  the  Navy  had  only  a  limited  number  of 
battleships  to  lose,  and  would  probably  sustain  losses  in 
an  attack  on  Zeebrugge.  I  demurred  to  any  attempt  to 
attack  Zeebrugge  without  the  co-operation  of  the  Army 
along  the  coast. 


86  MEMORIES 

This  note  is  here  inserted  because  the  Dardanelles 
operation  interfered  with  the  project  of  certain  action  in 
the  Decisive  Theatre  of  the  War  explained  in  a  Memo- 
randum given  to  the  Prime  Minister  on  January  25th, 
1915,  but  it  has  been  decided  to  be  too  secret  for  pub- 
lication even  now,  so  it  is  not  included  in  these  papers. 

A  Memorandum  was  also  submitted  by  me  on  General 
Naval  Policy,  deprecating  the  use  of  Naval  Force  in 
Coast  Operations  unsupported  by  Military  Force  and 
emphasising  the  supreme  importance  of  maintaining  the 
unchallengeable  strength  of  the  Grand  Fleet  in  the  De- 
cisive Theatre. 

LORD  FISHER  TO  COLONEL  SIR  MAURICE  HANKEY 

September  6th,  1016. 

DEAR  HANKEY, 

I  HAVE  only  just  this  very  moment  received  your 
letter,  dated  September  4th,  and  its  enclosure,  for  I  had 
suddenly  to  leave  the  address  you  wrote  to  on  important 
official  business.  .  .  . 

The  Prime  Minister  and  Kitchener  knew  from  me  on 
January  7th  or  January  8th  that  I  objected  to  the  Dar- 
danelles enterprise,  but  I  admit  this  does  not  come  under 
your  official  cognisance  as  Secretary  of  the  War  Council, 
consequently  I  cannot  press  you  in  the  matter. 

If  I  ever  am  allowed  hereafter  to  see  what  you  have 
prepared  for  Lord  Cromer's  Committee  of  Inquiry  I  shall 
be  better  able  to  judge  of  its  personal  application  to  my- 
self. 

I  was  told  yesterday  by  an  influential  Parliamentary 
friend  that  the  likelihood  was  that  all  would  emerge  from 
the  Dardanelles  Inquiry  as  free  from  blame,  except  one 
person  only — Lord  Fisher!  That  really  would  be  comic! 
considering  that  I  was  the  only  sufferer  by  it,  by  loss  of 
office  and  of  an  immense  certainty  in  my  mind  of  Big 
Things  in  the  North  Sea  and  Baltic  by  the  unparalleled 
Armada  we  were  building  so  marvellously  quickly,  e.g., 


THE  DARDANELLES  87 

submarines  in  five  months  instead  of  14,  and  destroyers 
in  nine  months  instead  of  18!  and  immense  fast  Battle 
Cruisers  with  18-inch  and  15-inch  guns  in  11  months  in- 
stead of  two  years!  Why,  it  was  the  desolation  of  my 
life  to  leave  the  Admiralty  at  that  moment!  Knowing 
that  once  out  I  should  never  get  back!  The  "wherefore" 
you  know! 

Yours,  etc., 
(Signed)         FISHER, 
6th  September,  1916. 

LOED  FISHER  TO  THE  RIGHT  HON.  WINSTON  CHURCHILL. 

"The  Baltic  a  German  Lake." 

MY  DEAR  WINSTON, 

I  AM  here  for  a  few  days  longer  before  rejoining  my 
"Wise  men"  at  Victory  House — 

"The  World  forgetting, 
By  the  World  forgot!" 

but  some  Headlines  in  the  newspapers  have  utterly  upset 
me !  Terrible ! ! 

"The  German  Fleet  to  assist  the  Land  operations  in 
the  Baltic." 

"Landing  the  German  Army  South  of  Reval." 

We  are  five  times  stronger  at  Sea  than  our  enemies 
and  here  is  a  small  Fleet  that  we  could  gobble  up  in  a  few 
minutes  playing  the  great  vital  Sea  part  of  landing  an 
Army  in  the  enemies'  rear  and  probably  capturing  the 
Russian  Capital  by  Sea! 

This  is  "Holding  the  ring"  with  a  vengeance! 

Are  we  really  incapable  of  a  big  Enterprise? 

I  hear  that  a  new  order  of  Knighthood  is  on  the  tapis 
— O.M.G.  (Oh!  My  God!)— Shower  it  on  the  Ad- 
miralty ! ! 

Yours, 
FISHER. 
9/9/17. 


88  MEMORIES 

P.S.— In  War,  you  want— "SURPRISE.'* 
To  beget  "SURPRISE"  you  want 
"IMAGINATION"  to  go  to  bed  with 
"AUDACITY." 

Admiral  von  Spec's  first  words  at  the  Falkland  Islands 
when  he  saw  the  British  Battle  Cruisers  were 

"Oh,  what  a  surprise"! 

And  he  went  to  the  bottom  with  3,000  men  and  11  ships, 
and  not  one  man  killed  or  wounded  on  board  the  "In- 
vincible." 

LORD  FISHER'S  NOTES  or  HIS  OWN  SPECIAL  INTERVEN- 
TIONS AT  WAR  COUNCIL  MEETINGS. 

Notes. — The  first  two  meetings  of  the  War  Committee 
took  place  on  August  5th  and  August  6th,  1914. 

Lord  Fisher  was  appointed  First  Sea  Lord  on  October 
30th,  1914. 

The  third  meeting  of  the  War  Council  ( being  the  first 
after  Lord  Fisher's  appointment)  took  place  on  Novem- 
ber 25th,  1914. 

3rd  Meeting  of  the  War  Council,  November  25th,  1914. 

Lord  Fisher  asked  whether  Greece  might  not  attack 
Gallipoli  in  conjunction  with  Bulgaria. 

It  was  pointed  out  Bulgaria  blocked  the  way. 

(Note. — From  his  experience  of  three  years  as  Com- 
mander-in-Chief  of  the  Mediterranean  Fleet,  Lord  Fisher 
had  formed  the  conviction  that  Bulgaria  was  the  key  of 
the  situation,  and  this  he  had  pointed  out  to  Lord  Kitch- 
ener personally  at  the  War  Office.) 

4th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  December  1st,  1914. 

Lord  Fisher  pressed  for  the  adoption  of  the  Offensive. 

The  Defensive  attitude  of  the  Fleet  was  bad  for  its 
morale,  and  was  no  real  protection  from  enemy  subma- 
rines. 


THE  DARDANELLES  89 

The  suggestion  of  seizing  an  island  off  the  German 
coast  was  adjourned. 

7th  Meeting  of  War  Council,,  January  8th,  1915. 

ZEEBRUGGE. 

Asked  whether  the  bombardment  of  Zeebrugge  would 
materially  lessen  the  risks  to  transports  and  other  ships 
in  the  English  Channel,  Lord  Fisher  replied  that  he 
thought  not.  In  his  opinion  the  danger  involved  in  the 
operation  (in  loss  of  ships)  would  outweigh  the  results. 

8th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  January  13th,  1915. 

ZEEBRUGGE. 

Lord  Fisher  said  that  the  Navy  had  not  unlimited  bat- 
tleships to  lose,  and  there  would  probably  be  losses  in  any 
attack  on  Zeebrugge.  He  objected  to  any  attack  on  Zee- 
brugge without  the  co-operation  of  the  Army  along  the 
coast. 

The  Dardanelles  was  mentioned,  Mr.  Churchill  stat- 
ing that  he  had  exchanged  telegrams  with  Admiral  Car- 
den  as  to  the  possibilities  of  a  naval  attack  on  the  Dar- 
danelles. He  had  taken  this  step  because  Lord  Kitchener, 
in  a  letter  to  him,  dated  January  3rd,  had  urged  instant 
naval  action  at  the  Dardanelles  to  relieve  the  pressure  on 
the  Grand  Duke  Nicholas  in  the  Caucasus. 

9th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  January  28th,  1915, 
11.30  a.m. 

(Note. — Before  this  meeting  the  Prime  Minister  dis- 
cussed with  Mr.  Churchill  and  Lord  Fisher  the  proposed 
Dardanelles  operations  and  decided  in  favour  of  consid- 
ering the  project  in  opposition  to  Lord  Fisher's  opinion.) 

THE  DARDANELLES. 

Mr.  Churchill  asked  if  the  War  Council  attached  im- 
portance to  the  proposed  Dardanelles  operations,  which 
undoubtedly  involved  risks. 


90  MEMORIES 

Lord  Fisher  said  that  he  had  understood  that  this 
question  was  not  to  be  raised  at  this  meeting.  The  Prime 
Minister  knew  his  (Lord  Fisher's)  views  on  the  subject. 

The  Prime  Minister  said  that,  in  view  of  what  had  al- 
ready been  done,  the  question  could  not  be  left  in  abey- 
ance. 

(Note. — Thereupon  Lord  Fisher  left  the  Council 
table.  He  was  followed  by  Lord  Kitchener,  who  asked 
him  what  he  intended  to  do.  Lord  Fisher  replied  to  Lord 
Kitchener  that  he  would  not  return  to  the  Council  table, 
and  would  resign  his  office  as  First  Sea  Lord.  Lord 
Kitchener  then  pointed  out  to  Lord  Fisher  that  he  (Lord 
Fisher)  was  the  only  dissentient,  and  that  the  Dardanelles 
operations  had  been  decided  upon  by  the  Prime  Minister ; 
and  he  urged  on  Lord  Fisher  that  his  duty  to  his  country 
was  to  go  on  carrying  out  the  duties  of  First  Sea  Lord. 
After  further  talk  Lord  Fisher  reluctantly  gave  in  to  Lord 
Kitchener  and  went  back  to  the  Council  table.1) 

Mr.  Churchill  stated  that  the  ultimate  object  of  the 
Navy  was  to  obtain  access  to  the  Baltic.  There  were,  he 
said,  three  Naval  phases: — 

1st  phase. — The  clearing  of  the  outer  seas  (this  had 

been  accomplished). 

2nd  phase. — The  clearing  of  the  North  Sea. 
3rd  phase. — The  clearing  of  the  Baltic. 

Mr.  Churchill  laid  stress  on  the  importance  of  the  third 
phase  and  said  this  latter  operation  was  of  great  impor- 
tance, as  Germany  always  had  been,  and  still  was,  very 
nervous  of  an  attack  from  the  Baltic.  For  this  purpose 
special  vessels  were  required,  and  the  First  Sea  Lord 
(Lord  Fisher)  had  designed  cruisers,  &c.,  &c.2  The  meet- 
ing was  adjourned  to  6.30  the  same  evening. 

•It  must  be  emphasised  here,  as  well  as  in  regard  to  Lord  Kitchener's 
statement  to  the  War  Council  dated  May  Hth,  1915,  that  Lord  Fisher  con- 
sidered that  it  would  be  both  improper  and  unseemly  for  him  to  enter  into 
an  altercation  either  at  the  War  Council  or  elsewhere  with  his  chief  Mr. 
Churchill,  the  First  Lord.  Silence  or  resignation  was  the  right  course. 

'This  was  the  Armada  of  612  vessels  authorised  by  Mr.  Lloyd  George  as 
Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer. 


THE  DARDANELLES  91 

10th  Meeting  of  War  Council  (same  day],  January  28th, 
1915,  at  6.30  p.m. 

The  plan  of  a  naval  attack  on  Zeebrugge  was  aban- 
doned and  the  Dardanelles  operations  were  decided  upon. 

11th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  February  9th,  1915. 

Mr.  Churchill  reported  that  the  Naval  attack  on  the 
Dardanelles  would  take  place  on  February  15th.  (This 
was  afterwards  postponed  until  February  19th.) 

12th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  February  16th,  1915. 

Agreed  that  the  29th  Division  should  be  sent  to  the 
Dardanelles  and  other  arrangements  made  to  support  the 
Naval  attack  on  the  Dardanelles. 

The  Admiralty  were  authorised  and  pressed  to  build 
or  obtain  special  craft  for  landing  50,000  men  wherever 
a  landing  might  be  required. 

13th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  February  19th,  1915. 

Transports  ordered  to  be  got  ready : — 

1.  To  convey  troops  from  Egypt  to  the  Dardanelles; 

2.  To  convey  the  29th  Division  from  England  to  the 
Dardanelles, 

but  no  final  decision  to  be  taken  as  to  29th  Division. 

14th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  February  24th,  1915. 

General  Birdwood  selected  to  join  Admiral  Garden 
before  the  Dardanelles. 

The  decision  as  to  sending  29th  Division  postponed. 

15th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  February  26th,  1915. 

Mr.  Churchill  said  he  could  not  offer  any  assurance 
of  success  in  the  Dardanelles  attack. 


92  MEMORIES 

16th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  March  3rd,  1915. 

The  future  of  Constantinople  was  discussed,  and  what 
should  be  the  next  step  after  the  Dardanelles.  Lord 
Lansdowne  and  Mr.  Bonar  Law,  besides  Mr.  Balfour, 
were  present. 

17th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  March  10th,  1915. 

The  War  Office  was  directed  to  prepare  a  memoran- 
dum on  the  strategical  advantages  of  Alexandretta. 

18th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  March  19th,  1915. 

The  sinking  of  the  battleships  "Irresistible,"  "Ocean," 
and  "Bouvet,"  the  running  ashore  of  "Gaulois"  and  the 
disablement  of  "Inflexible,"  were  discussed 

The  continuance  of  naval  operations  against  Darda- 
nelles was  authorised  if  the  Admiral  at  the  Dardanelles 
agreed. 

Lord  Fisher  said  that  it  was  impossible  to  explain 
away  the  sinking  of  four  battleships.  He  had  always 
said  that  a  loss  of  12  battleships  must  be  expected  before 
the  Dardanelles  could  be  forced  by  the  Navy  alone.  He 
still  adhered  to  this  view. 

Note. — There  was  no  meeting  of  the  War  Council 
from  March  19th  to  May  14th. 

19th  Meeting  of  War  Council,  May  Ikih,  1915. 

Mr.  Churchill  reported  that  one,  or  perhaps  two,  Ger- 
man submarines  had  arrived  in  the  Eastern  Mediterra- 
nean, and  that  the  attack  on  the  Dardanelles  had  now 
become  primarily  a  military  rather  than  a  naval  operation. 
It  had  been  decided  to  recall  the  "Queen  Elizabeth."  Mr. 
Churchill  stated  that  if  it  had  been  known  three  months 
ago  that  an  army  of  from  80,000  to  100,000  men  would 
now  be  available  for  the  attack  on  the  Dardanelles  the 
naval  attack  would  never  have  been  undertaken. 

Lord  Fisher  reminded  the  War  Council  that  he  had 


THE   DARDANELLES  93 

been  no  parti/  to  the  Dardanelles  operations.  When  the 
matter  was  first  under  consideration  he  had  stated  his 
opinion  to  the  Prime  Minister  at  a  private  interview. 

Conclusion. — Lord  Kitchener  to  send  a  telegram  to 
Sir  Ian  Hamilton  asking  what  military  force  he  would 
require  in  order  to  ensure  success  at  the  Dardanelles. 

Note. — On  the  evening  of  this  day  Mr.  Churchill 
drafted  orders  for  further  naval  reinforcements  for  the 
Dardanelles,  a  course  to  which  Lord  Fisher  could  not 
assent. 

(This  led  to  Lord  Fisher  leaving  the  Admiralty.) 
A  Note  on  the  Dardanelles  Operations. 

Major-General  Sir  Chas.  Caldwell,  K.C.B.,  was  Di- 
rector of  Military  Operations  at  the  War  Office  during 
the  whole  period  of  the  inception,  incubation  and  execu- 
tion of  the  Dardanelles  adventure,  and  in  an  article  in 
the  "Nineteenth  Century"  for  March,  1919,  he  completely 
disposes  of  the  criticisms  of  Mr.  G.  A.  Schreiner  in  his 
book  "From  Berlin  to  Bagdad,"  and  of  those  of  Mr.  H. 
Morgenthau,  the  late  United  States  Ambassador  at  Con- 
stantinople, in  his  recent  book,  "The  Secrets  of  the  Bos- 
phorus."  Both  these  works  convey  the  impression  that 
the  general  attack  by  the  Fleet  upon  the  Defences  of  the 
Narrows  on  March  18th,  1915,  very  nearly  succeeded. 
This  verdict  is  not  justified  by  the  facts  as  certified  by 
Sir  C.  Caldwell.  He  proves  incontestably  that,  even  in 
the  very  unlikely  case  of  indirect  bombardment  really  ef- 
fecting its  object  in  putting  the  batteries  out  of  action, 
there  would  still  be  the  movable  armament  of  the  Turks 
left  to  worry  and  defeat  the  mine-sweepers,  and  there 
would  still  be  the  drifting  mines  and  possibly  the  tor- 
pedoes fired  from  the  shore  to  imperil  the  battleships. 
When  peace  did  come  it  occupied  the  British  Admiral  a 
very  long  time  to  sweep  up  the  mines.  The  damaging 
effect  of  Naval  Bombardment  was  over-estimated — the 
extent  to  which  the  enemy's  movable  armament  would  in- 
terfere with  mine-sweeping  was  not  realised,  and  the  ex- 


94  MEMORIES 

tent  and  efficiency  of  the  minefields  were  unknown  and 
unheeded.     Sir  Charles  Caldwell  says: 

"The  whole  thing  was  a  mistake,  quite  apart  from  the 
disastrous  influence  which  the  premature  and  unsuccess- 
ful operation  exerted  over  the  subsequent  land  campaign." 

It  is  also  most  true  what  Sir  C.  Caldwell  says  that 
"the  idea  at  the  back  of  the  sailors'  minds  (who  so  re- 
luctantly assented  to  the  political  desire  of  getting  pos- 
session of  the  Straits)  was  that  it  was  an  experiment  which 
could  always  be  instantly  stopped  if  the  undertaking  were 
to  be  found  too  difficult."  But  alas !  "the  view  of  the  War 
Council  came  to  be  that  they  could  not  now  abandon  the 
adventure" 

Marshal  Liman  von  Sanders,  who  had  charge  of  the 
defence  of  the  Dardanelles,  said: 

"The  attack  on  the  Straits  by  the  Navy  alone  I  don't 
think  could  ever  have  succeeded.  I  proposed  to  flood  the 
Straits  broadcast  with  mines,  and  it  was  my  view  that 
these  were  the  main  defences  of  the  Dardanelles,  and 
that  the  function  of  the  guns  of  the  forts  was  simply  to 
protect  the  minefields  from  interference." 

The  evidence  given  by  Captain  (now  Rear- Admiral 
Sir  William  Reginald  Hall,  R.N.,  Director  of  Naval 
Intelligence,  at  the  Dardanelles  Inquiry,  conflicts  with 
the  facts  as  afterwards  made  known  to  us;  and  no  doubt 
this  led  to  such  official  speeches  as  were  made  of  our  being 
so  near  victory  at  the  Dardanelles — speeches  which  caused 
the  further  great  sacrifice  of  life  which  took  place  after 
General  Sir  Charles  Munro,  the  present  Commander-in- 
Chief  in  India,  had  definitely  and  without  any  equivoca- 
tion officially  reported  that  the  Evacuation  of  the  Galli- 
poli  Peninsula  should  immediately  take  place. 

Field  Marshal  Lord  Nicholson  asked  Captain  Hall, 
R.N.,  how  far  the  Gallipoli  Peninsula  was  under  German 
control;  and  his  answer  was  that  it  was  known  that  the 
defences  had  been  inspected  by  a  German  and  that  many 
Germans  were  arriving  there,  whereas  it  is  a  matter  of 


THE  DARDANELLES  95 

fact  stated  by  General  Liman  von  Sanders  and  confirmed 
from  other  sources  that  the  Germans  were  in  complete 
control ;  and  it  took  the  British  Admiral  many  weeks  after 
the  Armistice,  helped  by  the  Turks,  to  clear  a  way 
through  the  mines  for  his  Flagship  to  take  him  to  Con- 
stantinople. At  question  4930  Captain  Hall  stated  his 
spies  made  him  convinced  that  he  could  have  pushed 
through  with  only  the  loss  of  one  or  more  ships  and  got 
to  Constantinople  on  March  18th. 

AN  EPISODE  OF  THE  WAE. 

A  friend  asking  me  yesterday  (this  was  written  in 
1917)  about  the  replacement  of  Tonnage  destroyed  by 
the  German  Submarines,  and  telling  me  how  quite  in- 
effectual had  been  the  course  pursued  up  to  the  present 
when  really  we  are  in  measurable  distance  of  starvation 
or  else  an  ignoble  peace,  I  ventured  to  send  him  the  en- 
closed account  (written  at  the  time)  of  how  612  Vessels 
were  hustled!  As  in  all  other  War  matters,  it  is  Person- 
ality that  is  required,  even  more  than  Brains ! 

STATEMENT  OF  NEW  SHIPBUILDING  INAUGURATED  BY 
LORD  FISHER. 

Note. — The  following  Memoranda  are  inserted  as 
vital  to  the  explanation  of  Lord  Fisher's  reluctance  to 
resign  on  the  Dardanelles  question.  It  will  be  seen  that 
Mr.  Churchill  had  given  him  sole  charge  of  the  creation 
of  this  armada  of  new  ships,  intended  for  great  projects 
in  the  Baltic  and  North  Sea. 

Tuesday,  November  3rd,  1914. 

(Note. — Lord  Fisher  had  joined  the  Admiralty  as 
First  Sea  Lord  four  days  before  this  meeting.) 

The  First  Sea  Lord  (Lord  Fisher)  presided  at  a  Con- 
ference this  day  at  the  Admiralty. 

Present: 

Second  Sea  Lord. 
Third  Sea  Lord. 


96  MEMORIES 

Additional  Civil  Lord. 
Parliamentary  and  Financial  Secretary. 
Secretary. 

Naval  Secretary  to  First  Lord. 
Engineer-in-Chief. 

Assistant  Director  of  Torpedoes  and  another  repre- 
sentative of  the  Director  of  Naval  Ordnance. 
Commodore  (S)  and  Assistant. 
Naval  Assistant  to  First  Sea  Lord. 
Director  of  Naval  Construction  and  an  Assistant. 
Superintendent  of  Contract  Work. 
Superintending  Electrical  Engineer. 
Director  of  Dockyard  Work. 
Director  of  Naval  Contracts  and  an  Assistant. 

Lord  Fisher  explained  to  those  present  that  this  Con- 
ference had  been  summoned  with  the  approval  of  Mr. 
Churchill,  primarily  with  the  object  of  expediting  the  de- 
livery of  20  submarines  which  were  to  be  at  once  com- 
menced, 

but  in  the  second  place  a  big  further  building  programme 
for  a  special  purpose  had  been  decided  on. 

The  question  of  placing  orders  for  submarines  had  been 
under  consideration  for  some  time  past.  The  First  Lord, 
however,  had  assented  to  the  cancellation  of  all  existing 
papers  on  this  subject,  and  a  fresh  start  was  to  be  made 
immediately  on  the  lines  of  a  special  war  routine.  All  red- 
tape  methods — very  proper  in  time  of  peace — were  now 
to  be  aabndoned,  and  everything  must  be  entirely  sub- 
ordinated to  rapidity  of  construction.  It  was  desired  to 
impress  upon  all  present  the  necessity  of  avoiding  "paper" 
work,  and  of  proceeding  in  the  manner  indicated  in  the 
secret  memorandum  which  would  be  circulated  next  day 
in  regard  to  the  matter.  Arrangements  would  be  made 
in  due  course  to  obtain  additional  vessels  of  other  types 
in  a  similar  manner. 

Note. — After  this,  a  meeting  of  all  the  shipbuilding 
firms  of  the  United  Kingdom  took  place  at  the  Admiralty 


Portrait  by  J.   C.   Beresford 


LORD   FISHER,    1917 

Admiral  of  the  Fleet. 


THE  DARDANELLES  97 

under  the  presidency  of  Lord  Fisher,  and  the  programme 
mentioned  above  in  italics  was  parcelled  out  there  and 
then. 

BUILDING  PROGRAMME. 

Meeting  on  November  3rd,  1914,  four  days  after  Lord 
Fisher  became  First  Sea  Lord. 

5  Battle  Cruisers  of  33  knots  speed  of  light  draught. 

2  Light  Cruisers. 

5  Flotilla  Leaders. 
56  Destroyers. 
64  Submarines. 
37  Monitors. 

24  River  Light  Gunboats. 
19  Whaling  Steamers. 
24  Submarine  Destroyers. 
50  Seagoing  Patrol  Boats. 
200  Motor  Barges,  oil  engines. 
90  Smaller  Barges. 
36  Sloops. 

612  Total. 


MEMORANDUM  BY  LORD  FISHER,  DATED  NOVEMBER  3RD, 

1914,  ON  LAYING  DOWN  FURTHER  NUMBERS  OF 

SUBMARINES. 

There  is  no  doubt  that  at  this  moment  the  supply  of 
additional  submarine  boats  in  the  shortest  time  possible 
is  a  matter  of  urgent  national  importance.  They  will  not 
be  obtained  unless  the  whole  engineering  and  shipbuild- 
ing resources  of  the  country  are  enlisted  in  the  effort,  and 
the  whole  of  the  peace  paraphernalia  of  red-tape  routine 
and  consequent  delay  are  brushed  on  one  side.  I  have 
carefully  studied  the  submarine  question  during  my  retire- 
ment and  have  had  many  opportunities  of  keeping  in 
touch  with  the  present  position  and  future  possibilities, 
and  am  convinced  that  20  submarines  can  be  commenced 


98  MEMORIES 

at  once,  and  that  the  first  batch  of  these  should  be  de- 
livered in  nine  months,  and  the  remainder  at  short  inter- 
vals, completing  the  lot  in  11  or  12  months. 

NOTE. — A  dozen  more  were  actually  delivered  in  five 
months,  and  made  the  voyage  alone  from  America  to  the 
Dardanelles. 

To  do  this,  however,  cheapness  must  be  entirely  sub- 
ordinated to  rapidity  of  construction,  and  the  technical 
departments  must  have  a  free  hand  to  take  whatever  steps 
are  necessary  to  secure  this  end  without  any  paper  work 
whatever.  Apparently  this  matter  has  been  under  con- 
sideration at  the  Admiralty  already  for  a  considerable 
time,  but 

nothing  has  yet  been  ordered, 

and  the  First  Lord  has  concurred  that  a  fresh  start  be 
made  independently  of  former  papers, 

and  the  matter  placed  under  my  sole  supervision,  without 
any  other  officers  or  departments  intervening  between  me 
and  the  professional  officers. 

I  will  give  instructions  as  to  the  work,  and  direct  that 

if  any  difficulties  are  met  with,  they  be  brought  to  me 
instantly  to  be  overcome. 

The  professional  officers'  reports  as  to  acceptances  of 
tenders  or  allocation  of  work  must  be  immediately  car- 
ried out  by  the  branches. 

Only  in  this  way  can  we  get  the  boats  we  require.  To 
ensure  the  completion  of  the  20  boats,  steps  to  be  imme- 
diately taken  to  order  the  parts  for  the  engines  for  25 
boats.  We  know  from  experience  that  it  is  in  the  ma- 
chinery parts  that  defects  and  failures  occur  in  manufac- 
ture of  castings,  forgings,  etc.,  causing  great  delay.  The 
parts  for  the  extra  five  sets  of  engines  will  be  available 
for  these  replacements,  and  eventually  the  five  extra  sets 
can  be  fitted  in  five  further  hulls.  I  propose  to  review 
the  progress  being  made  once  a  fortnight  in  the  hope  that 


THE  DARDANELLES  99 

it  may  be  feasible  to  order  still  further  submarines  beyond 
these  20  now  to  be  commenced  at  once. 

The  training  of  sufficient  officers  and  men  for  manning 
these  extra  boats  must  obviously  be  proceeded  with  forth-, 
with,  and  those  responsible  must  see  to  it  that  the  officers 
and  crews  are  ready. 

FISHER. 
November  3rd,,  1914. 

NOTE  by  Lord  Fisher. — I  gave  personal  orders  on 
this  day  to  the  Director  of  Mobilisation  to  enter  officers, 
men,  and  boys  to  the  utmost  limit  regardless  of  present 
or  supposed  prospective  wants,  so  when  he  left  the  Ad- 
miralty last  week  to  be  Captain  of  the  Renown  he  wrote 
me  we  wanted  for  nothing  in  the  way  of  personnel! 

FISHER. 
August  I5th,  1916. 


CHAPTER  VI 

ABDUL  HAMED  AND  THE  POPI 

Be  to  my  virtues  very  kind, 
Be  to  my  faults  a  little  blind. 

Two  great  Personalities  came  across  my  path  when 
I  commanded  the  Mediterranean  Fleet  for  three  years — 
the  Sultan  Abdul  Hamid  and  Pope  Leo  XIII.  They 
each  greatly  admired  the  astuteness  of  the  other.  Wily 
as  Abdul  was,  the  Pope  was  the  subtler  of  the  two.  I 
did  not  have  the  interviews  with  the  Pope  which  I  might 
have  had.  There  was  no  real  occasion  for  it,  as  was  the 
case  with  Abdul  Hamid ;  and  also,  though  by  the  accident 
of  birth  I  was  of  the  Church  of  England  (nearly  every- 
body's religion  is  the  accident  of  his  birth),  yet  by  taste 
and  conviction  I  was  a  Covenanter,  and  therefore  dead 
against  the  Pope.  I  would  have  loved  to  participate  in 
the  fight  against  Claverhouse  at  the  battle  of  Drumclog. 

I  happen  to  be  looking  at  the  battlefield  of  Drumclog 
now,  and  I  hope  to  be  buried  in  Drumclog  Church — that 
is,  if  I  die  here ;  or  in  the  nearest  Church  to  my  death  bed. 
I  am  particular  to  say  this,  as  it  avoids  so  much  trouble; 
and  I  don't  have  any  more  feeling  for  a  cast-off  body  than 
for  a  cast-off  suit  of  clothes.  The  body,  after  he's  left  it 
at  death,  is  not  the  man  himself,  any  more  than  his  cast- 
off  clothes.  The  only  thing  I  ask  for  is  a  white  marble 
tablet  made  by  Mr.  Bridgman  of  Lichfield  (if  he's  still 
alive),  with  the  inscription  on  it  to  be  found  in  Croxall 
Church  as  written  of  herself  by  my  sainted  Godmother, 

100 


ABDUL  HAMID  AND  THE  POPE    101 

of  whom  Byron  wrote  so  beautifully:  "She  walks  in  beauty 
like  the  night."  She  deserved  his  poem. 

That  was  a  big  digression ;  but  being  dictated,  as  it  is, 
this  is  a  conversation  book  and  not  a  classic.  Classics  are 
dry.  Conversation,  taking  no  account  of  grammar  or 
sequence,  is  more  interesting.  However,  that's  a  matter 
of  opinion.  To  talk  is  easy,  but  to  write  is  terrific.  Even 
Job  thought  so,  that  patient  man. 

To  resume  Abdul  Hamid  and  the  Pope. 

Neither  rats  nor  Jews  can  exist  at  Malta.  The  Mal- 
tese are  too  much  for  either.  A  Maltese  can't  get  a  living 
in  the  Levant.  The  Levantine  is  too  much  for  the  Mal- 
tese. No  Levantine  has  ever  been  seen  in  Armenia.  His 
late  Majesty,  Abdul  Hamid,  was  an  Armenian.  He  mas- 
sacred more  Armenians  than  had  ever  been  massacred  be- 
fore. I've  no  doubt  that  can  be  explained.  It  is  sup- 
posed that  the  Armenian  coachman  of  the  previous  Sultan 
was  his  father.  He  certainly  was  not  a  bit  like  his  pre- 
sumed father,  the  Sultan.  When  I  dined  several  times 
with  the  Sultan,  his  father's  picture  hung  behind  him  and 
he  used  to  ask  people  if  they  traced  the  likeness — there 
wasn't  even  a  resemblance. 

The  Sultan  paid  me  a  very  special  honour  in  sending 
his  most  distinguished  Admiral  with  his  Staff  down  to 
the  British  Fleet  lying  at  Lemnos,  to  escort  me  up  to 
Constantinople.  This  Admiral  was  known  to  me;  and  it 
afforded  me  an  opportunity,  in  the  passage  up  the  Dar- 
danelles, of  making  a  thorough  inspection  of  the  Forts 
and  all  the  particulars  connected  with  the  defence  of  the 
Dardanelles.  Nothing  was  kept  back  from  me;  and  in- 
cidentally it  was  through  this  inspection  I  became  on  such 
terms  with  the  Pashas  that  a  most  amicable  arrangement 
was  reached  between  us  as  to  our  ever  having  to  work 
in  common.  !A  yerg  striking  incident  occurred  illustrat- 


102  MEMORIES 

ing  Kiamil  Pasha's  remark  to  me  of  how  every  Turk  in 
the  Turkish  Empire  trusted  the  English  when  they  trusted 
no  one  else.  Kiamil's  argument  was  that  such  trust  was 
only  natural  after  the  Crimean  War,  and  after  the  war 
with  Russia — when  Russia  was  at  the  gates  of  Constanti- 
nople, and  the  British  Fleet,  coming  up  under  Admiral 
Hornby  in  a  blinding  snowstorm,  encountering  great  risks 
and  not  knowing  but  what  the  Forts,  bribed  by  Russia, 
might  open  fire — that  British  Fleet,  by  its  opportune  ar- 
rival, hardly  a  minute  too  soon,  effectually  banged,  barred 
and  bolted  the  gates  of  Constantinople  against  the  Rus- 
sians and  produced  peace.  And  Kiamil's  emphasis  was 
that,  notwithstanding  all  these  wonderful  things  that  Eng- 
land had  done  for  Turkey,  England  never  asked  for  the 
very  smallest  favour  or  concession  in  return,  whereas  other 
nations  were  all  of  them  notoriously  always  grabbing; 
and  I  told  Kiamil  Pasha  that  I  felt  very  proud  indeed, 
as  a  British  Admiral,  that  England  had  this  noble  char- 
acter and  deserved  it.  The  incident  I  referred  to  was  this : 
Upon  an  observation  being  made  to  the  Turkish  Com- 
mander-in- Chief  in  the  Dardanelles  as  to  whether  some 
written  document  wouldn't  be  satisfactory  to  him,  he  re- 
plied he  wanted  no  such  document — if  a  British  Midship- 
man brought  him  a  message,  the  word  of  a  British  Mid- 
shipman was  enough  for  him. 

The  views  I  formed  at  that  period  of  the  impregna- 
bility of  the  Dardanelles  stood  me  in  good  stead  when  the 
Dogger  Bank  incident  became  known  on  Trafalgar  Day, 
1904 — the  very  day  I  assumed  the  position  of  First  Sea 
Lord  of  the  Admiralty.  We  were  within  an  ace  of  war 
with  Russia;  the  Prime  Minister's  speech  at  Southamp- 
ton, if  consulted,  will  show  that  to  be  the  case;  and  I  then 
drew  up  a  secret  memorandum  with  respect  to  the  Dar- 
danelles, which  I  alluded  to  at  the  War  Council  when  the 


ABDUL   HAMID   AND  THE  POPE  103 

attack  on  the  Dardanelles  was  being  discussed,  also  in 
my  official  memorandum  to  Lord  Cromer,  the  Chairman 
of  the  Dardanelles  Commission,  and  in  my  evidence  be- 
fore the  Commission. 

Personally  I  had  a  great  regard  for  Abdul  Hamid. 
Our  Ambassadors  had  not.  One  who  knew  of  these  mat- 
ters considered  Abdul  Hamid  the  greatest  diplomat  in 
Europe.  I  have  mentioned  elsewhere  how  greatly  he  re- 
sented Lord  Salisbury  throwing  over  the  traditional  Eng- 
lish AJliance  with  Turkey  and  Lord  Salisbury  saying  in  a 
memorable  speech  that  in  making  that  alliance  in  past 
years  we  had  backed  the  wrong  horse.  For  were  not  (was 
Abdul  Hamid's  argument)  England  and  Turkey  the  two 
greatest  Mahomedan  nations  on  Earth — England  being 
somewhat  the  greater?  Kiamil — the  Grand  Old  Man  of 
Turkey — told  me  the  same.  He  had  been  many  times 
Grand  Vizier,  and  I  went  especially  with  the  Mediter- 
ranean Fleet  to  Smyrna  to  do  him  honour.  He  was  the 
Vali  there.  His  nickname  in  Turkey  was  "The  English- 
man"; he  was  so  devoted  to  us.  He  lamented  to  me  that 
England  had  had  only  one  diplomatist  of  ability  at  Con- 
stantinople since  the  days  of  Sir  Stratford  Canning,  whom 
he  knew.  His  exception  was  a  Sir  William  White,  who 
had  been  a  Consul  somewhere  in  the  Balkan  States.  No 
other  English  Ambassador  had  ever  been  able  to  cope  with 
the  Germans.  I  remonstrated  with  Kiamil  by  saying  that 
Ambassadors  now  were  only  telegraph  instruments — they 
only  conveyed  messages,  and  quite  probably  from  some 
quite  young  man  at  the  Foreign  Office  who  had  charge 
of  that  Department.  I  venture  to  remark  here  in  pass- 
ing what  I  have  very  frequently  urged  to  those  in  au- 
thority— that  the  United  States  system  is  infinitely  better 
than  ours.  Their  diplomatic  representatives  are  all  fresh 
from  home,  with  each  change  of  President;  ours  live  all 


104  MEMORIES 

their  lives  abroad  and  practically  cease  to  be  English- 
men, and  very  often,  like  Solomon,  marry  foreign  wives. 
Another  thing  I've  urged  on  Authority  is  that  some  Great 
Personage  should  annually  make  a  tour  of  inspection  of 
all  the  Diplomatic  and  Consular  Agents  (exactly  as  the 
big  Banks  have  a  travelling  Inspector),  who  would  ask 
how  much  he  had  increased  the  trade  of  the  great  British 
Commonwealth  of  Nations;  and  if  it  weren't  more  than 
five  per  cent,  would  give  him  the  sack.  This  Great  Trav- 
elling Personage  must  be  a  man  independent  in  means 
and  station  of  any  Government  connexion  and  undertake 
the  duty  as  Sir  Edward  (now  Lord)  Grey  goes  to  Wash- 
ington. The  German  Ambassador  at  Constantinople  used 
to  go  round  selling  beetroot  sugar  by  the  pound!  The 
English  Ambassador  said  to  me  at  a  Garden  Party  he 
gave  by  those  lovely  sweet  waters  of  the  Bosphorus:  "You 
see  that  fellow  there  with  a  white  hat  on?  He's  the  Presi- 
dent of  the  British  Chamber  of  Commerce;  he's  an  awful 
nuisance.  He's  always  bothering  me  about  some  peddling 
commercial  business!'* 

Abdul  Hamid  was  exceeding  kind  to  me  and  invited 
me  to  Constantinople,  and  he  descanted  (the  Boer  War 
then  being  on)  what  a  risk  there  was  of  a  big  coalition 
against  England.  Curiously  enough,  his  colleague  the 
Pope  had  the  same  feeling.  It  is  very  deplorable,  not 
only  in  the  late  War  but  also  in  the  Boer  War  especially, 
how  utterly  our  spies  and  our  Intelligence  Departments 
failed  us.  I  was  so  impressed  with  what  the  Sultan  told 
me  that  I  set  to  work  on  my  own  account;  and  through 
the  patriotism  of  several  magnificent  Englishmen  who  oc- 
cupied high  commercial  positions  on  the  shores  of  the 
Mediterranean,  I  got  a  central  forwarding  station  for  in- 
formation fixed  up  privately  in  Switzerland;  and  it  so 
happened,  through  a  most  Providential  state  of  circum- 


ABDUL  HAMID  AND  THE  POPE    105 

stances,  that  I  was  thus  able  to  obtain  all  the  cypher  mes- 
sages passing  from  the  various  Foreign  Embassies,  Con- 
sulates and  Legations  through  a  certain  central  focus,  and 
I  also  obtained  a  key  to  their  respective  cyphers.  The 
Chief  man  who  did  it  for  me  was  not  in  Government  em- 
ploy; and  I'm  glad  to  think  that  he  is  now  in  a  great 
position — though  not  rewarded  as  he  should  have  been. 
No  one  is.  But  as  to  any  information  from  an  official 
source  reaching  me,  who  was  so  vastly  interested  in  the 
matter,  in  the  event  of  war  where  the  Fleet  should  strike 
first — all  our  Diplomats  and  Consuls  and  Intelligence 
Departments  might  have  been  dead  and  buried.  And 
how  striking  the  case  in  the  late  War — the  Prime  Min- 
ister not  knowing  at  the  Guildhall  Banquet  on  November 
9th,  1918,  that  the  most  humiliating  armistice  ever  known 
would  be  accepted  by  the  Germans  within  thirty-six  hours, 
and  one  of  our  principal  Cabinet  Ministers  saying  the 
Sunday  before  that  the  Allies  were  at  their  last  gasp. 
And  read  now  Ludendorff,  Tirpitz,  Falkenhayn,  Liman 
von  Sanders,  and  others — they  knew  exactly  what  the 
Allies'  condition  was  and  what  their  own  was.  And  if 
the  Dardanelles  evidence  is  ever  published,  it  will  be  found 
absolutely  ludicrous  how  the  official  spokesmen  gravely 
give  evidence  that  the  Turks  had  come  to  their  last  round 
of  ammunition  and  that  the  roofs  of  the  houses  in  Con- 
stantinople were  crowded  with  people  looking  for  the  ad- 
vent of  the  approaching  British  Fleet.  Why!  it  took  our 
Admiral,  on  the  conclusion  of  the  Armistice,  with  the  help 
of  the  Turks  and  all  his  own  Fleet,  several  weeks  to  clear 
a  passage  through  the  mines,  on  which  Marshal  Liman 
von  Sanders  so  accurately  based  his  reliance  against  any 
likelihood  of  the  Dardanelles  being  forced. 


CHAPTER  VII 

A  JETJ  D'ESPEIT 
BOWS  AND  ARROWS — SNAILS  AND  TORTOISES — 

FACILE  DUPES  AND  SERVILE  COPYISTS 
"Not  the  wise  find  salvation." — St.  Paul. 

ONE  of  the  charms  of  the  Christian  religion  is  that  the 
Foolish  confound  the  Wise.  The  Atheists  are  all  brainy 
men.  Myself,  I  hate  a  brainy  man.  All  the  brainy  men 
said  it  was  impossible  to  have  aeroplanes.  No  brainy  man 
ever  sees  that  speed  is  armour.  Directly  the  brainy  men 
got  a  chance  they  clapped  masses  of  armour  on  the  "Hush- 
Hush"  ships.  They  couldn't  understand  speed  being  ar- 
mour, and  said  to  themselves:  "Didn't  she  draw  so  little 
water  she  could  stand  having  weight  put  on  her?  Shove 
on  armour !"  and  so  bang  went  the  speed,  and  the  "Hush- 
Hush"  ships,  whose  fabulous  beauty  was  their  forty  shore- 
going  miles  an  hour,  were  slowed  down  by  these  brainy 
men.  Don't  jockeys  have  to  carry  weights?  Isn't  it  called 
handicapping?  Isn't  it  the  object  to  beat  the  favourite — 
the  real  winner?  There  really  is  comfort  in  the  27th  verse 
of  the  1st  chapter  of  1  Corinthians,  where  the  Foolish  are 
wiser  than  the  Wise. 

What! — A  battle  cruiser  called  the  "Furious"  going 
40  shore-going  miles  an  hour  with  18-inch  guns  reaching 
26  miles!  "Take  the  damn  guns  out  and  make  it  into  an 
aeroplane  ship!"  (And  I'm  not  sure  they  could  ever  get 
the  aeroplanes  to  land  on  her,  owing  to  the  heat  of  the 

1 06 


A  JEU   D'ESPRIT  107 

funnels  causing  what  they  call  "Air  pockets"  above  the 
stern  of  the  ship.) 

Yes  I  and  we  still  have  ancient  Admirals  who  believe 
in  bows  and  arrows.  There's  a  good  deal  to  be  said  for 
bows  and  arrows.  Our  ancestors  insisted  on  all  church- 
yards being  planted  with  yew  trees  to  make  bows.  There 
you  are!  It's  a  home  product!  Not  like  those  damn  fools 
who  get  their  oil  from  abroad!  And  I  have  now  the  Mem- 
orandum with  me  delivered  to  me  when  I  was  Controller 
of  the  Navy  by  a  member  of  the  Board  of  Admiralty  de- 
siring to  build  16  sailing  ships!  Again,  didn't  the  Board 
of  Admiralty  issue  a  solemn  Board  Minute  that  wood 
floated  and  iron  sank?  So  what  a  damnable  thing  to 
build  iron  ships!  Wasn't  there  another  solemn  Board 
Minute  that  steam  was  damnable  and  fatal  to  the  su- 
premacy of  the  British  Navy?  Haven't  we  had  Admirals 
writing  very  brainy  articles  in  magazines  to  prove  that 
there  was  nothing  like  a  tortoise?  You  could  stand  on  the 
tortoise's  back ;  you  weren't  rushed  by  the  tortoise,  whereas 
these  "Hush-Hush"  ships,  they  were  flimsy,  and  speed 
was  worshipped  as  a  god.  One  mighty  man  of  valour 
(only  "he  was  a  leper"  as  regards  sea  fighting)  told  me 
at  his  luncheon  table  that  when  one  of  these  "Hush-Hush" 
ships  encountered  at  her  full  strength  of  nearly  a  hun- 
dred thousand  horse  power  a  gale  of  wind  in  a  moun- 
tainous sea  she  was  actually  strained!  It's  all  really  too 
lovely;  but  of  course  the  humour  of  it  can't  be  properly 
appreciated  by  the  ordinary  shore-going  person.  Yes,  the 
brainy  men,  as  I  said  before,  crabbed  the  "Hush-Hush" 
ships;  they  couldn't  understand  that  speed  was  armour 
when  associated  with  big  guns  because  the  speed  enabled 
you  to  put  your  ship  at  such  a  distance  that  she  couldn't 
be  hit  by  the  enemy,  so  it  was  the  equivalent  of  impene- 
trable armour  although  you  had  none  of  it,  and  you  hit 


io8  MEMORIES 

the  enemy  every  round  for  the  simple  reason  that  your 
guns  reached  him  when  his  could  not  reach  you.  Q.E.D. 
as  Euclid  says.  What  these  splendid  armour  bearers  say 
is  "Give  me  a  strong  ship  which  no  silly  ass  of  a  Captain 
can  hurt."  Of  course  this  implies  that  if  it's  Buggins's 
turn  to  be  Captain  of  a  ship  he  gets  it;  it's  his  turn,  even 
if  he  is  a  silly  ass.  The  phase  of  mind  they  have  is  this : 
"None  of  your  highly  strung  racehorses  for  me,  give  me 
a  good  old  cart-horse  I"  So  we  build  huge  costly  warships 
which  will  last  a  hundred  years,  but  become  obsolete  in 
five. 

It  all  really  is  very  funny — if  it  wasn't  disastrous  and 
ruinous!  And  they  are  such  a  motley  crew,  these  discon- 
tented ones  who  come  together  in  John  Bright's  cave  of 
Adullam;  and  the  Poor  Dear  Public  read  an  interview 
in  a  newspaper  with  some  Commander  Knowall ;  and  then 
a  magazine  article  by  Admiral  Retrograde ;  and  some  old 
"cup  of  tea"  writes  to  The  Times  (wonderful  paper  The 
Times — "Equal  Opportunity  for  All" )  and  there  you  are ! 
Lord  Fisher  is  a  damned  fool;  and  if  he  isn't  a  damned 
fool,  he's  a  maniac.  Oh!  very  well  then,  if  he  isn't  a  ma- 
niac, then  he's  a  traitor.  Wasn't  Sir  Julian  Corbett  very 
seriously  asked  if  he  (Sir  John  Fisher)  hadn't  sold  his 
country  to  Germany?  Sir  Julian  thought  the  report  was 
exaggerated,  and  that  satisfied  the  Searcher  after  Truth. 
But  I  ask  my  listeners,  however  should  we  get  on  without 
these  people?  How  dull  life  would  be  without  their  dia- 
lectical subtleties  and  "reasoned  statements"  (I  think  they 
call  them)  and  "considered  judgments"!  • 

My  splendid  dear  old  friend,  who  could  hardly  write 
his  name,  the  Chief  Engineer  of  the  first  ironclad,  the 
"Warrior,"  told  me,  when  I  was  Gunnery  Lieutenant  of 
her  in  1861,  that  he  had  arranged  for  his  monument  at 
death  being  of  "malleable"  iron.  No  cast  iron  for  him,  he 


A  JEU  D'ESPRIT  109 

said!  It  played  you  such  pranks.  So  it  is  with  these  car- 
bonised cranks  who  wield  the  pen,  actuated  by  the  wrong 
kind  of  grey  matter  of  their  brain,  and,  their  tongues 
acidulated  with  lies,  sway  listening  Senates  and  control 
our  wars.  It  requires  a  Mr.  Disraeli  to  deal  with  these 
victims  of  their  own  verbosity,  who  are  the  facile  dupes  of 
their  vacuous  imaginations  and  the  servile  copyists  of  the 
Billingsgatean  line  of  argument! 


CHAPTER  VIII 

NAVAL  WAR  STAFF  AND  ADMIRALTY  CLERKS 

"A  wise  old  owl  lived  in  an  oak; 
The  more  he  heard,  the  less  he  spoke; 
The  less  he  spoke,  the  more  he  heard; 
Why  can't  we  be  like  that  wise  old  bird?" 

LORD  HALDANE  with  his  "art  of  clear  thinking"  elab- 
orated the  Imperial  War  Staff  to  its  present  magnificent 
dimensions.  If  any  man  wants  a  thing  advertised,  let 
him  take  it  over  there  to  the  Secret  Department.  Only 
Sir  Arthur  Wilson  and  myself,  when  I  was  First  Sea 
Lord  of  the  Admiralty,  knew  the  Naval  plan  of  war.  He 
was  the  man,  so  head-and-shoulders  above  all  his  fellows, 
who  in  his  time  was  our  undoubted,  indeed  our  incom- 
parable, Sea  Leader.  No  one  touched  him ;  and  I  am  not 
sure  that  even  now,  though  getting  on  for  Dandolo's  age, 
he  would  not  still  achieve  old  Dandolo's  great  deeds. 
What  splendid  lines  they  are  from  Byron: 

"Oh  for  one  hour  of  blind  old  Dandolo, 
Th'  Octogenarian  Chief,  Byzantium's  Conquering  Foe!" 

I  loved  Sir  Arthur  Wilson's  reported  reply  to  the  maniacs 
who  think  the  Navy  is  the  same  as  the  Army.  If  it  is 
not  true  it  is  ben  trovato.  He  said  the  Naval  War  Staff 
at  the  Admiralty  consisted  of  himself — assisted  by  every 
soul  inside  the  Admiralty,  and  he  added,  "including  the 
charwomen" — they  emptied  the  waste-paper  baskets  full 

110 


NAVAL  WAR  STAFF  in 

of  the  plans  of  the  amateur  strategists — Cabinet  and 
otherwise. 

No  such  rubbish  has  ever  been  talked  as  about  the 
Navy  War  Staff  and  also,  in  connexion  therewith,  the 
Admiralty  clerks  who  are  supposed  to  have  wrecked  its 
first  inception  in  the  period  long  ago  when  my  great 
friend  the  late  Admiral  W.  H.  Hall  was  introduced  into 
the  Admiralty  to  form  a  Department  of  Naval  Intelli- 
gence. I  give  my  experience.  I  have  been  fifteen  or 
more  years  in  the  Admiralty — Director  of  Ordnance  and 
Torpedoes,  Controller  of  the  Navy,  Second  Sea  Lord  and 
First  Sea  Lord.  Inside  the  Admiralty,  for  conducting 
administrative  work,  the  Civil  Service  clerk  is  incompar- 
ably superior  to  the  Naval  Officer.  The  Naval  Officer 
makes  a  very  bad  clerk.  He  hasn't  been  brought  up  to  it. 
He  can't  write  a  letter,  and,  as  you  can  see  from  my  dic- 
tation, he  is  both  verbose  and  diffuse.  The  Clerk  is  terse 
and  incisive. 

I'll  go  to  instances.  My  Secretary,  W.  F.  Nicholson, 
C.B.,  was  really  just  as  capable  of  being  First  Sea  Lord 
as  I  was,  when  associated  with  my  Naval  Assistant.  I 
often  used  to  say  that  the  First  Sea  Lord  was  in  commis- 
sion, and  that  I  was  the  facile  dupe  of  these  two;  and  I 
was  blessed  with  a  succession  of  Naval  Assistants  who 
knew  so  exactly  their  limitations  as  regards  Admiralty 
work  as  allowed  the  Admiralty  machine  to  be,  as  was 
officially  stated,  the  best,  most  efficient,  and  most  effective 
of  all  the  Government  Departments  of  the  State.  I  have 
a  note  of  this,  made  by  the  highest  authority  in  the  Civil 
Service.  I  would  like  here  to  name  my  Naval  Assistants, 
because  they  were  out  and  away  without  precedent  the 
most  able  men  in  the  Navy:  Admirals  Sir  Reginald  Ba- 
con, Sir  Charles  Madden,  Sir  Henry  Oliver,  Sir  Horace 
Hood,  Sir  Charles  de  Bartolome,  Captain  Richmond  and 


ii2  MEMORIES 

Captain  Crease — I'll  back  that  set  of  names  against  the 
world. 

I  was  the  originator  of  the  Naval  War  College  at 
Portsmouth — that's  quite  a  different  thing  from  an  Im- 
perial General  Staff  at  the  War  Office.  The  vulgar  error 
of  Lord  Haldane  and  others,  who  are  always  talking  about 
"Clear  thinking"  and  such-like  twaddle,  is  that  they  do 
not  realise  that  the  Army  is  so  absolutely  different  from 
the  Navy.  Every  condition  in  them  both  is  different. 
The  Navy  is  always  at  war,  because  it  is  always  fighting 
winds  and  waves  and  fog.  The  Navy  is  ready  for  an  ab- 
solute instant  blow;  it  has  nothing  to  do  with  strategic 
railways,  lines  of  communication,  or  bridging  rivers,  or 
crossing  mountains,  or  the  time  of  the  year,  when  the 
Balkans  may  be  snowed  under,  and  mountain  passes  may 
be  impassable.  No!  the  ocean  is  limitless  and  unob- 
structed; and  the  fleet,  each  ship  manned,  gunned,  pro- 
visioned and  fuelled,  ready  to  fight  within  five  minutes. 
The  Army  not  only  has  to  mobilise,  but — thank  God !  this 
being  an  island — it  has  to  be  carried  somewhere  by  the 
Navy,  no  matter  where  it  acts.  I  observe  here  that  when 
Lord  Kitchener  went  to  Australia  to  inaugurate  the 
scheme  of  Defence,  he  forgot  Australia  was  an  island. 
What  Australia  wants  to  make  it  impregnable  is  not  Con- 
scription— it's  Submarines.  However,  I  fancy  Kitchener 
was  sent  there  to  get  him  out  of  the  way.  They  wanted 
me  to  go  to  Australia,  but  I  didn't.1  Jellicoe  has  gone 
there.  But  then,  Jellicoe  hasn't  always  sufficient  fore- 
sight; exempli  gratia,  he  was  persuaded  to  take  the  de- 
plorable step  of  giving  up  command  of  the  Grand  Fleet 
and  going  as  First  Sea  Lord  of  the  Admiralty.  Never 
was  anything  so  regrettable.  I  told  the  War  Council  that 

1  At  my  entreaty  a  far  better  man  went,  Admiral  Sir  Reginald  Henderson, 
G.C.B.     He  is  a  splendid  seaman  and  he  devised  a  splendid  scheme. 


NAVAL  WAR  STAFF  113 

I  am  very  glad  Nelson  never  went  to  the  Admiralty,  and 
that  Nelson  would  have  made  an  awful  hash  of  it.  Nel- 
son was  a  fighter,  not  an  administrator  and  a  snake 
charmer — that's  what  a  First  Sea  Lord  has  to  be. 

Gross  von   Schwartzhoff  told  me  on  the   sands  of 
Scheveningen : — 

"Your  Navy  can  strike  in  thirteen  hours; 
Our  Army  can't  under  thirteen  days." 

Frau  von  Pohl  tells  us  the  Germans  did  expect  us  so  to 
strike,  but  Nelson  was  in  heaven  (Dear  Reader,  look  again 
at  what  Frau  von  Pohl  said,  you'll  find  it  in  Chapter  III.) . 
On  one  occasion  I  got  into  a  most  unpleasant  atmosphere. 
I  arrived  at  a  country  house  late  at  night,  and  at  break- 
fast in  the  morning,  I  not  knowing  who  the  guests  were, 
a  Cabinet  Minister  enunciated  the  proposition  that  sea 
and  land  war  were  both  in  principle  and  practice  alike. 
At  once  getting  up  from  the  breakfast  table,  in  the  heat 
of  the  moment,  and  not  knowing  that  distinguished  mili- 
tary officers  were  there,  I  said,  "Any  silly  ass  could  be  a 
General."  I  graphically  illustrated  my  meaning.  I  gave 
the  contrast  between  a  sea  and  a  land  battle.  The  Gen- 
eral is  somewhere  behind  the  fighting  line,  or  he  ought  to 
be.  The  Admiral  has  got  to  be  in  the  fighting  line,  or  he 
ought  to  be.  The  Admiral  is  indeed  like  the  young  Sub- 
altern, he  is  often  the  first  "Over  the  top."  The  Gen- 
eral, at  a  telescopic  distance  from  the  battle  scene  and 
surrounded  by  his  Kitcheners,  and  his  Ludendorffs,  and 
his  Gross  von  Schwartzhoffs,  has  plenty  of  time  for  the 
"Clear  thinking"  a  la  Lord  Haldane;  and  then,  acting  on 
the  advice  of  those  surrounding  him,  he  takes  his  meas- 
ures. So  far  as  I  can  make  out  from  the  Ludendorff  ex- 
tracts in  The  Times,  Hindenburg,  the  Generalissimo,  was 


114  MEMORIES 

clearly  not  in  it.    He  was  "the  silly  ass" !    Ludendorff  did 
it  all  as  Chief  of  the  Staff. 

Now  what's  the  corresponding  case  at  sea?  The  smoke 
of  the  enemy,  not  even  the  tops  of  his  funnels,  can  be  seen 
on  the  horizon.  (I  proved  this  myself  with  the  great 
Mediterranean  fleet  divided  into  two  portions.)  Within 
twenty  minutes  the  action  is  decided!  Realise  this — it 
takes  some  minutes  for  the  Admiral  to  get  his  breeches 
on,  to  get  on  deck  and  take  in  the  situation;  and  it  takes 
a  good  many  more  minutes  to  deploy  the  Fleet  from  its 
Cruising  Disposition  into  its  Fighting  Disposition.  In 
the  Cruising  Disposition  his  guns  are  masked,  one  ship 
interfering  with  the  fire  of  another.  The  Fleet  for  Battle 
has  to  be  so  disposed  that  all  the  guns,  or  as  many  as  pos- 
sible, can  concentrate  on  one  or  a  portion  of  the  enemy's 
fleet.  Each  fleet  pushes  on  at  its  utmost  speed  to  meet 
the  other,  hoping  to  catch  the  other  undeployed.  Every 
telescope  in  the  fleet  (and  there  are  myriads)  is  looking 
at  the  Admiral  as  he  goes  to  the  topmost  and  best  van- 
tage spot  on  board  his  flag  ship  to  see  the  enemy,  and  sees 
him  alone  outlined  against  the  sky — neither  time  nor  room 
for  a  staff  around  him,  and  if  there  were  they'd  say,  "It's 
not  the  Admiral  who  is  doing  it,"  and  be  demoralised  ac- 
cordingly— fatal  to  victory.  In  the  fleet  the  Admiral's 
got  to  be  like  Nelson — "the  personal  touch"  so  that  "any 
silly  ass  can't  be  an  Admiral";  and  the  people  of  the  Fleet 
watch  him  with  unutterable  suspense  to  see  what  signal 
goes  up  to  alter  the  formation  of  the  fleet — a  formation 
on  which  depends  Victory  or  Defeat.  So  it  was  that  Togo 
won  that  second  Trafalgar;  he  did  what  is  technically 
known  as  "crossing  the  T,"  which  means  he  got  the  guns 
of  his  fleet  all  to  bear,  all  free  to  fire,  while  those  of  the 
enemy  were  masked  by  his  own  ships.  One  by  one 
Rozhdestvensky's  ships  went  to  the  bottom,  under  the 


NAVAL  WAR  STAFF  115 

concerted  action  of  concentrated  fire.  What  does  it? 
Speed.  And  what  actuates  it?  One  mind,  and  one  mind 
only.  .Goschen  was  right  (when  First  Lord  of  the  Ad- 
miralty) ;  he  quoted  that  old  Athenian  Admiral  who,  when 
asked  what  governed  a  sea  battle,  replied,  "Providence," 
and  then  with  emphasis  he  added:  "and  a  good  Admiral" 
Which  reminds  me  too  of  Cromwell — a  pious  man,  we 
all  know;  when  asked  a  somewhat  similar  question  as  to 
what  ruled  the  world,  he  replied,  "The  Fear  of  the  Lord," 
and  he  added  with  an  emphasis  equal  to  that  of  the  Athe- 
nian Admiral — "And  a  broomstick."  No  one  votes  more 
for  the  Sermon  on  the  Mount  than  I  do;  but  I  say  to  a 
blithering  fool  "Begone!" 

A  Naval  War  Staff  at  the  Admiralty  is  a  very  excel- 
lent organisation  for  cutting  out  and  arranging  foreign 
newspaper  clippings  in  such  an  intelligent  disposition  as 
will  enable  the  First  Sea  Lord  to  take  in  at  a  glance  who 
is  likely  amongst  the  foreigners  to  be  the  biggest  fool  or 
the  greatest  poltroon,  who  will  be  opposed  to  his  own 
trusted  and  personally  selected  Nelson  who  commands  the 
British  Fleet.  The  First  Sea  Lord  and  the  Chief  Ad- 
miral afloat  have  got  to  be  Siamese  twins.  And  when  the 
war  comes,  the  Naval  War  Staff  at  the  Admiralty,  listen- 
ing every  moment  to  the  enemy's  wireless  messages  (if  he 
dare  use  it),  enables  the  First  Sea  Lord  to  let  his  twin  at 
sea  know  exactly  what  is  going  on.  He  takes  in  the  wire- 
less, and  not  necessarily  the  Admiral  afloat,  on  account 
of  the  far  greater  power  of  reception  in  a  land  installa- 
tion as  compared  with  that  on  a  ship.  When  you  see  that 
spider's  web  of  lines  of  wire  on  the  top  of  the  Admiralty, 
then  thank  God  this  is  more  or  less  a  free  country,  as  it 
got  put  up  by  a  cloud  of  bluejackets  before  a  rat  was 
smelt!  An  intercepted  German  Naval  letter  at  the  time 
gave  me  personally  great  delight,  for  it  truly  divined  that 


ii6  MEMORIES 

wireless  was  the  weapon  of  the  strong  Navy.  For  the 
development  of  the  wireless  has  been  such  that  now  you 
can  get  the  direction  of  one  who  speaks  and  go  for  him; 
so  the  German  daren't  open  his  mouth.  But  if  he  does, 
of  course  the  message  is  in  cypher ;  and  it's  the  elucidation 
of  that  cypher  which  is  one  of  the  crowning  glories  of  the 
Admiralty  work  in  the  late  war.  In  my  time  they  never 
failed  once  in  that  elucidation.  Yes,  wireless  is  the  weapon 
of  the  strong.  So  also  is  the  Submarine — that  is  if  they 
are  sufficiently  developed  and  diversified  and  properly  ap- 
plied, but  you  must  have  quantities  and  multiplicity  of 
species. 

What  you  want  to  do  is  to  fight  the  enemy's  fleet, 
make  him  come  out  from  under  the  shelter  of  his  forts, 
where  his  ships  are  hiding  like  rabbits  in  a  hole — put  in 
the  ferrets  and  out  come  the  rabbits,  or  they  kill  'em  where 
they  are.  Nelson  blockading  Toulon,  as  he  told  the  Lord 
Mayor  of  London  in  one  of  his  most  characteristic  letters, 
didn't  want  to  keep  the  French  fleet  in;  he  wanted  them 
to  come  out  and  fight.  But  he  kept  close  in  for  fear  they 
should  evade  him  in  darkness  or  in  fog. 

But  the  mischief  of  a  Naval  War  Staff  is  peculiar  to 
the  Navy.  I  understand  it  is  quite  different  in  the  Army 
— I  don't  know.  The  mischief  to  the  Navy  is  that  the 
very  ablest  of  our  Officers,  both  young  and  old,  get  at- 
tracted by  the  brainy  work  and  by  the  shore-going  ap- 
pointment. I  asked  a  splendid  specimen  once  whatever 
made  him  go  in  for  being  a  Marine  Officer.  He  said  he 
wanted  to  be  with  his  wife!  Well,  it's  natural.  I  know 
a  case  of  a  Sea  Officer  whose  long  absence  caused  his  chil- 
dren not  to  recognise  him  when  he  came  home  from  China 
and,  indeed,  they  were  frightened  of  him.  The  land  is  a 
shocking  bad  training  ground  for  the  sea.  I  once  heard 
one  bluejacket  say  to  another  the  reason  he  believed  in  the 


NAVAL  WAR  STAFF  117 

Bible  was  that  in  heaven  there  is  "no  more  sea."  I  didn't 
realise  it  at  the  time,  but  I  looked  up  "Revelations"  and 
found  it  was  so.  A  shallower  spirit  observed:  "Britannia 
rules  the  waves,  but  the  mistake  was  she  didn't  rule  them 
straight."  A  very  distinguished  soldier  who  came  to  see 
me  when  I  was  Port  Admiral  at  Portsmouth  said  that  the 
Army,  as  compared  with  the  Navy,  was  at  a  great  disad- 
vantage. In  the  Army,  or  even  in  the  country,  he  said, 
anyone  who  had  handled  a  rifle  laid  down  the  law  as  if 
he  were  a  General;  but  the  Navy,  he  said,  was  "A  huge 
mystery  hedged  in  by  seasickness." 

So  far  as  the  Navy  is  concerned,  the  tendency  of  these 
"Thinking  Establishments"  on  shore  is  to  convert  splen- 
did Sea  Officers  into  very  indifferent  Clerks.  The  Ad- 
miralty is  filled  with  Sea  Officers  now  who  ought  to  be 
afloat;  and  the  splendid  civilian  element — incomparable 
in  its  talent  and  in  its  efficiency — is  swamped.  Before  the 
war,  when  I  was  First  Sea  Lord,  when  I  left  the  Ad- 
miralty at  8  p.m.,  prior  to  some  approaching  Grand 
Manoeuvres,  I  left  it  to  my  friend  Flint,  one  of  the  Higher 
Division  Clerks,  to  mobilise  the  fleet  by  a  wireless  mes- 
sage from  the  roof  of  the  Admiralty;  and  the  deciding 
circumstances  having  arisen,  he  did  it  off  his  own  bat  at 
2  a.m.  A  weaker  vessel,  knowing  of  the  telephone  at  my 
bedside,  might  have  rung  me  up ;  but  Flint  didn't.  Good 
old  Flint!  Always  one  of  the  Clerks  was  on  watch,  all 
the  year  round,  night  and  day;  and  that  obtained  in  the 
Admiralty  long  before  any  other  Department  adopted  it. 

Now  for  such  work  as  I  have  described  you  don't  want 
sea  art ;  you  want  the  Craven  scholar,  and  I  had  him.  A 
Sea  Officer  can  never  be  an  efficient  clerk — his  life  unfits 
him.  He  can't  be  an  orator;  he's  always  had  to  hold  his 
tongue.  He  can't  argue;  he's  never  been  allowed.  Only 
a  few  great  spirits  like  Nelson  are  gifted  with  the  splendid 


ii8  MEMORIES 

idiosyncrasy  of  insubordination;  but  it's  given  to  a  few 
great  souls.  I  assure  you  that  long  study  has  convinced 
me  that  Nelson  was  nothing  if  not  insubordinate.  This  is 
hardly  the  place  to  describe  his  magnificent  lapses  from 
discipline,  which  ever  led  to  Victory.  It's  only  due  on 
my  part,  who  have  had  more  experience  than  anyone  living 
of  the  civilian  clerks  at  the  Admiralty,  to  vouch  for  the 
fact  that  Sir  Evan  Macgregor,  the  ablest  Secretary  of 
the  Admiralty  since  Samuel  Pepys,  Sir  Graham  Greene, 
Sir  Oswyn  Murray,  Sir  Charles  Walker  and  my  friends 
V.  W.  Baddeley,  C.B.,  and  J.  W.  S.  Anderson,  C.B., 
W.  G.  Perrin,  J.  F.  Phillips,  and  many  others  have  done 
work  which  has  never  been  exceeded  as  regards  its  incom- 
parable efficiency.  I  can't  recall  a  single  lapse. 

The  outcome  of  this  expanded  Naval  War  Staff  be- 
yond its  real  requirements,  such  as  I  have  indicated,  and 
which  were  provided  for  while  I  was  First  Sea  Lord,  was 
that  a  Chief  of  the  Staff,  in  imitation  of  him  at  the  War 
Office,  was  planked  into  the  Admiralty  and  indirectly  sup- 
planted the  First  Sea  Lord.  I  won't  enlarge  on  this  fur- 
ther. It's  many  years  before  another  war  can  possibly 
take  place,  and  it's  now  a  waste  of  educated  labour  to 
discuss  it  further.  All  I  would  ask  is  for  anyone  to  take 
up  the  last  issue  of  the  Navy  List  and  see  the  endless 
pages  of  Naval  Officers  at  the  Admiralty  or  holding  shore 
appointments.  There  has  never  been  anything  approach- 
ing these  numbers  in  all  our  Sea  History!  It  is  deplor- 
able! 

The  Naval  War  College,  which  I  established  at  Ports- 
mouth, is  absolutely  a  different  affair.  There  it  can  be 
arranged  that  all  the  Officers  go  to  sea  daily  and  work  as 
if  with  the  fleet,  with  flotillas  of  Destroyers  that  are  there 
available  in  quantities.  These  Destroyers  would  repre- 


NAVAL  WAR  STAFF  119 

sent  all  the  items  of  the  fleet;  and  the  formations  of  war 
and  the  meetings  of  hostile  fleets  could  be  practised  and 
so  constitute  the  Naval  War  College  a  real  gem  in  war 
efficiency. 


CHAPTER  IX 

EECAPITULATION  OF  DEEDS  AND  IDEAS 
"Friends,   Romans,   Countrymen,  lend  me  your   ears!" 

WE  have  arranged  that  in  this  book  you  (to  whom  I 
am  dictating)  are  to  insert  a  rechauffe  of  my  fugitive 
writings  and  certain  extracts  from  the  three  bulky  vol- 
umes of  my  letters  to  Lord  Esher,  which  he  has  so  very 
kindly  sent  me. 

All,  then,  that  I  have  to  say  in  this  chapter  will  be  a 
summing  up  of  all  that  is  in  my  opinion  worth  saying, 
and  you  are  going  to  be  responsible  for  the  rest.  My 
judgment  is  that  the  British  Public  will  be  sick  of  it  all 
long  before  you  come  to  the  end  of  your  part.  One  can 
have  too  much  jam.  Nor  do  you  seem  inclined  to  put  in 
all  the  "bites."  For  instance,  it  was  told  King  Edward, 
who  warned  me  of  what  was  being  said,  that  my  moral 
character  was  shocking.  No  woman  will  ever  appear 
against  me  at  the  Day  of  Judgment.  One  dear  friend  of 
mine  attributed  all  his  life's  disasters  to  kissing  the  wrong 
girl.  I  never  even  did  that.  However,  there  is  no  credit 
in  my  morality  and  early  piety.  For  I  ever  had  to  work 
from  12  years  old  for  my  daily  bread,  and  work  hard,  so 
the  Devil  never  had  a  "look  in."  I  love  Dr.  Watts,  he 
is  so  practical. 

"And  Satan  finds  some  mischief  still 
For  idle  hands  to  do." 

120 


RECAPITULATIONS  121 

Bishop  Jeremy  Taylor,  who  wrote  that  Classic,  "Holy 
Living  and  Dying,"  who  had  a  nagging  wife  who  made 
him  flee  from  home  and  youthful  lusts,  said  "That  no  idle 
rich  healthy  man  could  possibly  go  to  Heaven."  No  doubt, 
it  is  difficult  for  such  a  one.  You  will  remember  the 
Saviour  told  us  that  the  Camel  getting  through  the  eye 
of  a  needle  is  more  likely.  Usually,  earthly  judgments  on 
heavenly  subjects  are  wrong.  Observe  Mary  Magdalene, 
and  the  most  beautiful  Collect  for  her  Saint's  Day  which 
was  in  our  First  Prayer  Book  of  1540.  This  was  later 
expunged  by  the  sacerdotal,  pharisaic,  self-righteous  man- 
darins of  that  period.  The  judgments  of  this  world  are 
worse  than  the  judgments  of  God.  When  David  was 
offered  three  forms  of  punishment — Famine  or  the  Sword 
or  Pestilence — he  chose  the  pestilence,  saying,  "Let  us 
now  fall  into  the  hands  of  the  Lord;  for  his  mercies  are 
great;  and  let  me  not  fall  into  the  hand  of  man."  At  the 
moment  of  making  this  note  of  which  I  am  speaking  I  am 
looking  at  two  very  beautiful  old  engravings  I  rescued 
from  the  room  here  allotted  to  the  Presbyterian  Minister! 
One  of  them  is  the  "Woman  Taken  in  Adultery"  and  the 
other  is  "Potiphar's  Wife"!  My  host  tells  me  it  was  a 
pure  accident  that  these  pictures  came  to  be  in  the  Min- 
ister's room;  but  such  events  happen  to  Saints.  Wasn't 
there  "The  Scarlet  Letter" — that  wonderful  book  by 
Hawthorne  ? 

I  observe  in  passing  how  wonderfully  well  these  Pres- 
byterians do  preach.  Our  hosts  have  a  beautiful  Chapel 
in  the  house,  and  they  have  got  a  delightful  custom  of 
selecting  one  from  the  Divines  of  Scotland  to  spend  the 
week-end  here.  Their  sermons  so  exemplify  what  I  keep 
on  impressing  on  you — that  the  printed  word  is  a  lifeless 
corpse.  Can  you  compare  the  man  who  reads  a  sermon 
to  the  man  who  listens  to  one  saturated  with  holiness  and 


122  MEMORIES 

enthusiasm  speaking  out  of  the  abundance  of  the  heart? 
No  doubt  there  is  tautology,  but  there's  conviction.  Two 
qualities  rule  the  world — emotion  and  earnestness.  I  have 
said  elsewhere,  with  them  you  can  move  far  more  than 
mountains ;  you  can  move  multitudes.  It's  the  personality 
of  the  soul  of  man  that  has  this  immortal  influence. 
Printed  and  written  stuff  is  but  an  inanimate  picture — 
a  very  fine  picture  sometimes,  no  doubt,  but  you  get  no 
aroma  out  of  a  picture.  Fancy  seeing  the  Queen  of  Sheba 
herself,  instead  of  only  reading  of  her  in  Solomon's  print! 
And  those  Almug  trees — "And  there  came  no  such  Almug 
trees,  nor  were  seen  until  this  day." 

To  a  friend  I  was  once  adoring  St.  Peter  (I  love  his 
impetuosity) — I  am  illustrating  how  earthly  judgments 
are  so  inferior  to  heavenly  wisdom.  St.  John,  who  was 
a  very  much  younger  man,  out-ran  Peter.  Up  comes 
Peter,  and  dashes  at  once  into  the  Sepulchre.  Those  men 
in  war  who  get  there  and  then  don't  do  anything — Cui 
bono?  A  fleet  magnificent,  five  times  bigger  than  the 
enemy,  and  takes  no  risks!  A  man  I  heard  of — his  wife, 
separated  from  him,  died  at  Florence.  He  was  on  the 
Stock  Exchange.  They  telegraphed,  "Shall  we  cremate, 
embalm,  or  bury?"  "Do  all  three,"  he  replied,  "take  no 
risks!"  Some  of  our  great  warriors  want  the  bird  so  ar- 
ranged as  to  be  able  to  put  the  salt  on  its  tail.  But  I 
was  speaking  of  my  praising  St.  Peter.  What  did  my 
friend  retort  (the  judgment  of  this  world,  mind  you!)? 
"Peter,  Sir!  he  would  be  turned  out  of  every  Club  in 
London!"  So  he  would!  Thank  God,  we  have  a  God, 
so  that  when  our  turn  comes  we  shall  be  forgiven  much 
because  we  loved  much. 

From  this  Christian  homily  I  return  to  what  I  rather 
vainly  hope  is  my  concluding  interview. 

Before  beginning — one  of  my  critics  writes  to  The 


RECAPITULATIONS  123 

Times  saying  I  am  not  modest — I  never  said  I  was.  How- 
ever, next  day,  Sir  Alfred  Yarrow  mentions  perhaps  the 
most  momentous  thing  I  ever  did — that  is  the  introduction 
of  the  Destroyer;  and  the  day  following  Sir  Marcus  Sam- 
uel writes  that  I  am  the  God-father  of  Oil — and  Oil  is 
going  to  be  the  fuel  of  the  world.  Sir  George  Beilby  is 
going  to  turn  coal  into  Oil.  He  has  done  it.  Thank  God ! 
we  are  going  to  have  a  smokeless  England  in  consequence, 
and  no  more  fortified  coaling  stations  and  peripatetic  coal 
mines,  or  what  coal  mines  were.  And  then,  I  was  going 
to  give  some  more  instances,  but  that's  enough  "to  point 
the  moral  and  adorn  the  tale" 

"SEEKEST  THOU  GREAT  THINGS  FOR  THYSELF?     SEEK 
THEM  NOT!"     (THE  PROPHET  JEREMIAH.) 

You  have  given  me  a  list  of  subjects  which  you  think 
require  elucidation  in  regard  to  my  past  years — a  resume 
especially  of  the  incidents  which  claim  peculiar  notice  be- 
tween 1902  and  1910;  and  you  ask  me  to  add  thereto  such 
episodes  from  the  past  as  will  enlighten  the  reader  as  to 
how  it  came  about  that  those  big  events  between  1902  and 
1910  were  put  in  motion. 

It's  a  big  order,  in  a  life  of  some  sixty  years  on  actual 
service — with  but  three  weeks  only  unemployed,  from  the 
time  of  entry  into  the  Navy  to  the  time  of  Admiral  of 
the  Fleet. 

I  begin  by  being  heartfelt  in  my  thankfulness  to  a 
benign  Providence  for  being  capable  yesterday,  Septem- 
ber 13th,  1919,  of  enjoying  suet  pudding  and  treacle  with 
a  pleasure  equal  to  that  which  I  quite  well  remember,  of 
having  suet  pudding  and  treacle  on  July  4th,  1854,  when 
I  went  on  board  H.M.S.  "Victory,"  101  guns,  the  flagship 
at  Trafalgar  of  Admiral  Lord  Viscount  Nelson.  Yes! 


124  MEMORIES 

my  thankfulness,  I  hope,  is  equal  to  but  hardly  as  won- 
derful as  that  of  the  almost  toothless  old  woman  who, 
being  commiserated  with,  replied:  "Yes,  I  only  'as  two 
left;  but  thank  God  they  meet!"  So  I  say,  to  express 
the  same  thankfulness  with  all  my  heart  for  the  years  that 
remain  to  me,  though  I  have  all  my  teeth — or  nearly  all 
— notwithstanding  that  I  have  not  had  even  one  single 
"thank  you"  for  anything  that  I  have  done  since  King 
Edward  died.  Nevertheless,  I  thank  that  same  God  as 
the  old  woman  thanked,  Who  don't  let  a  sparrow  fall  with- 
out a  purpose  and  without  knowledge. 

I  have  no  doubt  the  slight  has  done  me  a  lot  of  good! 

I  thought  at  the  age  of  nineteen,  when  I  was  Acting 
Captain  of  H.M.S.  "Coromandel,"  that  I  never  could 
again  be  so  great.  Please  look  at  my  picture  then.  It's 
a  very  excellent  one — rather  pulled  down  at  the  corners 
of  the  mouth  even  then.  ( The  child  is  father  to  the  man. ) 
And  though  now  nearly  as  old  as  Dandolo  I  don't  feel 
any  greater  than  at  19.  Dandolo  after  an  escapade  at 
the  Dardanelles  similar  to  mine,  became  conqueror  of 
Byzantium  at  80  years  of  age.  And  Justinian's  two  Gen- 
erals, Belisarius  and  Narses,  were  over  70.  Dolts  don't 
realise  that  the  brain  improves  while  the  body  decays — 
provided  of  course  that  the  original  brain  is  not  that  of  a 
congenital  idiot,  or  of  an  effete  poltroon  who  never  will 
run  risks. 

"Risks  and  strife"  are  the  bread  of  Life  to  a  growing 
brain. 

I  beg  the  reader  of  this  dictation  to  believe  that,  what- 
ever he  may  hear  to  the  contrary  (and  he  probably  will), 
though  swaggering  as  I  did  just  now  at  suet-puddening 
at  79  as  efficiently  as  at  nineteen,  yet  I  do  daily  realise 
what  that  ancient  monk  wrote  in  the  year  800,  when  he 
studied  the  words  of  Job — that  "Man  that  is  born  of  a 


RECAPITULATIONS  125 

woman  hath  but  a  short  time"  compared  to  eternity,  and 
death  may  be  always  near  the  door;  and  no  words  are 
more  beautiful  in  connection  therewith  than  when  a  part- 
ing friend  at  the  moment  of  departure  makes  us  say: 
"Teach  us  who  survive  in  this  and  other  like  daily  spec- 
tacles of  mortality  to  see  how  frail  and  uncertain  our  own 
condition  is." 

First  of  all  in  this  Recapitulation  comes  back  to  me  a 
prophecy  I  ventured  at  that  age  of  19  I  have  just  men- 
tioned— that  the  next  great  war  that  we  should  have  at 
sea  would  be  a  war  of  young  men.  And  how  beautifully 
this  is  illustrated  by  the  letter  received  only  a  few  days 
ago  from  that  boy  in  Russia  (see  Chapter  IV)  where  two 
battleships  were  sent  to  the  bottom  and  the  British  sailors 
in  command  were  only  Lieutenants.  And  in  passing  one 
cannot  help  paying  a  tribute  to  the  Subalterns  on  shore. 
General  Sir  Henry  Rawlinson  said  lately:  "Those  who 
really  won  the  war  were  the  young  Company  Leaders 
and  the  Subalterns,"  and  pathetic  was  the  usual  Gazette 
notice  of  those  killed: 

"Second  Lieutenants  unless  otherwise  mentioned." 
There  was  little  "otherwise!"    So  has  it  been  in  the  Navy, 
at  Zeebrugge  and  elsewhere. 

There  is,  however,  a  very  splendid  exception — when 
all  hands,  old  and  young,  went  to  the  bottom;  and  that  is 
in  the  magnificent  Merchant  Navy  of  the  British  Nation. 
Seven  million  tons  sank  under  these  men,  and  the  record 
of  so  many  I've  seen  who  were  saved  was:  "Three  times 
torpedoed."  And  remember!  for  them  no  Peerage  or 
Westminster  Abbey.  They  didn't  even  get  paid  for  the 
clothes  they  lost,  and  their  pay  stopped  the  day  the  ship 
was  sunk.  Except  in  the  rare  cases  where  the  shipowner 
was  the  soul  of  generosity,  like  my  friend  Mr.  Petersen, 
who  paid  his  men  six  months  or  a  year  to  do  nothing  after 


126  MEMORIES 

such  a  catastrophe.  But  we  go  with  Mr.  Havelock  Wil- 
son :  "We  hope  to  change  all  that."  For  who  is  going  to 
deny,  when  we  all  stand  up  for  them,  that  the  Merchant 
Navy  shall  he  incorporated  in  the  Navy  of  the  Nation 
and  with  all  the  rights  and  money  and  rank  and  uniform 
and  widows'  pensions  and  pensions  in  old  age?  All  this 
has  to  come;  and  I  am  Mr.  Havelock  Wilson's  colleague 
in  that  matter,  as  he  was  mine  in  that  wonderful  feeding 
and  clothing  of  our  thousands  of  British  Merchant  sailor 
prisoners,  who  didn't,  for  some  damned  red  tape  reason, 
come  within  the  scope  of  the  millions  of  money  in  that 
enormous  Prince  of  Wales's  Fund,  and  the  Red  Cross. 

Somebody  will  have  to  be  a  martyr,  perhaps  it's  me. 
And  I  expect  I  am  going  to  be  burnt  at  the  stake  for 
saying  these  things;  but  in  those  immortal  words  of  the 
past  "I  shall  light  the  candle!"  Isn't  it  just  too  lovely 
— when  Bishop  Latimer,  as  the  flames  shot  up  around 
him  at  the  stake  in  Oxford  in  A.D.  1555,  cried  to  his  brother 
Bishop,  equally  burning: 

"Play  the  man,  Master  Ridley!  We  shall  this  day 
light  such  a  candle  by  God's  Grace  in  England  as  I  trust 
shall  never  be  put  out." 

So  may  it  be  in  our  being  burnt  for  the  sake  of  the 
great  Merchant  Navy  that  saved  our  country! 


As  regards  the  years  1902  to  1910,  the  first  conceptions 
of  these  great  changes  stole  upon  me  when  I  perceived 
in  that  great  Fleet  in  the  Mediterranean  how  vague  were 
the  views  as  to  fighting  essentials.  For  instance,  in  one 
of  the  lectures  to  the  Mediterranean  Fleet  Officers  I  set 
forth  a  case  of  so  dealing  with  a  hostile  fleet  that  we  should 


RECAPITULATIONS  127 

ourselves  first  of  all  deliberately  and  in  cold  blood  sacri- 
fice several  of  our  fastest  cruisers.  Why? 

To  delay  the  flying  enemy  by  the  wounding  of  his 
hindermost  ships.  Possibly  a  ruthless  German  Admiral 
might  leave  a  "Bliicher"  to  her  fate;  but  not  so  our  then 
probable  and  chivalrous  foe !  The  most  shocking  descrip- 
tion I  have  ever  read  of  the  horrors  of  war  was  that  de- 
tailed by  one  of  the  crew  of  the  "Bliicher"  as  he  describes 
Beatty's  salvoes  gradually  approaching  the  "Bliicher"  and 
falling  near  in  the  water,  and  then  the  hell  when  these 
salvoes  arrived,  immediately  extinguishing  the  electric 
light  installation,  till  all  below  between  decks  was  pitchy 
darkness  only  lighted  up  by  the  bursting  shells  as  they 
penetrated  and  massacred  the  crew  literally  by  hundreds, 
who,  huddled  up  together  in  the  "Bliicher's"  last  moments, 
were  hoping  behind  the  thickest  armour  to  escape  destruc- 
tion. 

I  saw  that  the  plan  of  sacrificing  vessels  in  the  pursuit 
of  an  enemy  seemed  a  new  feature  to  my  hearers;  and 
yet  it  was  as  old  as  the  hills.  And  another  "eye-opener" 
I  had — in  the  inability  to  realise  so  obvious  a  fact  as,  alas ! 
was  somewhat  the  case  in  the  North  Sea  recently — that 
you  need  not  be  afraid  of  a  mine  field;  for  where  the 
enemy  goes  you  can  go,  if  you  keep  in  his  wake,  that  is. 
In  close  regard  with  this  matter,  I  am  an  apostle  of  "End- 
on  Fire,"  for  to  my  mind  broadside  fire  is  peculiarly 
stupid.  To  be  obliged  to  delay  your  pursuit  by  turning 
even  one  atom  from  your  straight  course  on  to  a  flying 
enemy  is  to  me  being  the  acme  of  an  ass.  And,  strange 
to  say,  in  connection  with  this  I,  only  yesterday,  Septem- 
ber 13th,  1919,  got  a  letter  from  Admiral  Weymouth — 
a  most  excellent  letter,  delightfully  elaborating  with  ex- 
ceptional acuteness  this  very  idea,  which  came  along  so 
long  ago  as  1900,  when  the  first  thought  of  the  "Dread- 


128  MEMORIES 

nought"  came  into  my  brain,  when  I  was  discussing  with 
my  excellent  friend,  Mr.  Card,  Chief  Constructor  of 
Malta  Dockyard,  the  vision  of  the  "Dreadnought." 

I  greatly  enjoyed  years  ago  overhearing  a  lady  de- 
scribe to  another  lady,  when  crossing  over  to  Ryde,  a  pass- 
ing Ryde  passenger  steamer  (just  built  and  differing  very 
greatly  from  the  one  we  were  on  board  of)  as  a  Battle- 
ship. And  she  wasn't  far  out  as  to  what  a  battleship 
should  be.  The  enterprise  of  the  Ryde  Steam  Packet 
Company  had  just  produced  that  vessel,  which  went  just 
as  fast  astern  as  she  did  ahead.  In  fact,  she  had  no  stern. 
There  was  a  bow  at  each  end  and  a  rudder  at  each  end 
and  screws  at  each  end;  so  they  never  had  any  bother  to 
turn  round.  Now  when  you  go  to  Boulogne  or  Folke- 
stone, I  don't  know  how  much  time  you  don't  waste  fool- 
ing around  to  go  in  stern  first,  so  as  to  be  able  to  come 
out  the  right  way ;  and  having  escaped  sea-sickness  so  far, 
I  myself  have  found  that  the  last  straw.  Let  us  hope 
every  ship  now  built  after  this  Chapter  will  be  a  "Double- 
Ender."  But  in  this  world  you  are  a  lunatic  if  you  go 
too  fast. 

Take  now  the  submarines.  They  began  by  diving  head 
first  to  get  below  water;  and  in  the  beginning  some  stuck 
their  noses  in  the  mud  and  never  came  up  again,  and  in 
the  shallow  waters  of  the  North  Sea  this  limited  the  di- 
mension of  the  submarine.  But  now  there's  no  more 
diving.  A  lunatic  hit  by  accident  on  the  idea  of  sinking 
the  ship  horizontally;  so  there  is  no  more  bother  about 
the  metricentric  problems,  and  all  the  vagaries  of  Stabili- 
ties. No  limit  to  size! 

This  sort  of  consideration  brought  into  one's  mind  that 
a  great  "Education"  was  wanted;  and  that  we  wanted 
"Machinery  Education,"  both  with  officers  and  men;  and 
also  that  the  education  should  be  the  education  of  com- 


RECAPITULATIONS  1 29 

mon  sense.  My  full  idea  of  Osborne  was,  alas!  emascu- 
lated by  the  schoolmasters  of  the  Nation;  but  it  is  yet 
going  to  spread.  As  sure  as  I  am  now  dictating  to  you, 
the  practical  way  of  teaching  is  "Explanation,,  followed 
by  Execution."  Have  a  lecture  on  Optics  in  the  morning: 
make  a  telescope  in  the  afternoon.  Tell  the  boys  in  the 
morning  about  the  mariner's  compass  and  the  use  of  the 
chart;  and  in  the  afternoon  go  out  and  navigate  a  Ship. 

Similarly,  with  the  selection  of  boys  for  the  Navy,  I 
didn't  want  any  examination  whatsoever,  except  the  boy 
and  his  parents  being  "vetted,"  and  then  an  interview 
with  the  boy  to  examine  his  personality  (his  soul,  in  fact) ; 
and  not  to  have  an  article  in  the  Navy  stuffed  by  patent 
cramming  schoolmasters  like  a  Strasburg  goose.  A 
goose's  liver  is  not  the  desideratum  in  the  candidate.  The 
desideratum  was:  could  we  put  into  him  the  four  attri- 
butes of  Nelson: — 

I.  Self  reliance. 

(If  you  don't  believe  in  yourself,  nobody  else 

will.) 
II.  Fearlessness  of  Responsibility. 

( If  you  shiver  on  the  brink  you'll  catch  cold,  and 

possibly  not  take  the  plunge.) 
III.  Fertility  of  Resource. 

(If  the  traces  break,  don't  give  it  up,  get  some 

string.) 
IV.  Power  of  initiative. 

(Disobey  orders.) 

AIRCRAFT. 

Somewhere  about  January  15th,  1915, 1  submitted  my 
resignation  as  First  Sea  Lord  to  Mr.  Churchill  because 
of  the  supineness  manifested  by  the  High  Authorities  as 


130  MEMORIES 

regards  Aircraft;  and  I  then  prophesied  the  raids  over 
London  in  particular  and  all  over  England,  that  by  and 
by  caused  several  millions  sterling  of  damage  and  an  in- 
finite fright. 

I  refer  to  my  resignation  on  the  aircraft  question  with 
some  fear  and  trembling  of  denials;  however,  I  have  a 
copy  of  my  letter,  so  it's  all  right.  I  withdrew  my  resig- 
nation at  the  request  of  Authority,  because  Authority 
said  that  the  War  Office  and  not  the  Admiralty  were  re- 
sponsible and  would  be  held  responsible.  The  aircraft 
belonged  to  the  War  Office ;  why  on  earth  couldn't  I  mind 
my  own  business?  I  didn't  want  the  Admiralty  building 
and  our  wireless  on  the  roof  of  it  to  be  bombed ;  so  it  was 
my  business  (the  War  Office  was  as  safe  as  a  church,  the 
Germans  would  never  bomb  that  establishment!). 

Recently  I  fortuned  to  meet  Mr.  Holt  Thomas,  and 
he  brought  to  my  recollection  what  was  quite  a  famous 
meeting  at  the  Admiralty.  Soon  after  I  became  First 
Sea  Lord  on  October  31st,  1914,  I  had  called  together 
at  the  Admiralty  a  Great  Company  of  all  interested  in 
the  air;  for  at  that  moment  I  had  fully  satisfied  myself 
that  small  airships  with  a  speed  of  fifty  miles  an  hour 
would  be  of  inestimable  value  against  submarines  and  also 
for  scouting  purposes  near  the  coast.  So  they  proved. 

Mr.  Holt  Thomas  was  a  valued  witness  before  the 
Royal  Commission  on  Oil  and  Oil  Engines,  of  which  I 
was  Chairman  (a  sad  business  for  me  financially — I  only 
possessed  a  few  hundred  pounds  and  I  put  it  into  Oil — 
I  had  to  sell  them  out,  of  course,  on  becoming  Chairman 
of  the  Oil  Commission,  and  what  I  put  those  few  hundreds 
into  caused  a  disappearance  of  most  of  those  hundreds, 
and  when  I  emerged  from  the  Royal  Commission  the  oil 
shares  had  more  than  quintupled  in  value  and  gone  up  to 
twenty  times  what  they  were  when  I  first  put  in). 


RECAPITULATIONS  131 

Through  Mr.  Holt  Thomas  we  obtained  the  very  im- 
portant evidence  of  the  French  inventor  of  the  Gnome 
engine — that  wonderful  engine  that  really  made  aero- 
planes what  they  now  are.  His  evidence  was  of  peculiar 
value;  and  so  also  was  that  of  Mr.  Holt  Thomas's  expe- 
rience; and  the  result  of  the  Admiralty  meeting  on  air- 
craft was  that  we  obtained  from  Mr.  Holt  Thomas  an  air- 
ship in  a  few  weeks,  when  the  experience  hitherto  had 
been  that  it  took  years;  and  a  great  number  of  this  type 
of  aircraft  were  used  with  immense  advantage  in  the  war. 
I  remember  so  well  that  the  very  least  time  that  could  be 
promised  with  every  effort  and  unstinted  money,  was  three 
months  (but  Mr.  Holt  Thomas  gave  a  shorter  time).  In 
three  weeks  an  airship  was  flying  over  the  Admiralty  at 
50  miles  an  hour  ("there's  nothing  you  can't  have  if  you 
want  it  enough"),  and  now  we've  reached  the  Epoch — 
prodigious  in  its  advent — when  positively  the  Air  com- 
mands and  dominates  both  Land  and  Sea;  and  we  shall 
witness  quite  shortly  a  combination  in  one  Structure  of 
the  Aeroplane,  the  Airship,  the  parachute,  the  common 
balloon,  and  an  Aerial  Torpedo,  which  will  both  astound 
people  by  its  simplicity  and  by  its  extraordinary  possi- 
bilities, both  in  War  and  Commerce  (the  torpedo  will  be- 
come cargo  in  Commerce).  The  aeroplane  has  now  to 
keep  moving  to  live — but  why  should  it?  The  aerial  gyro- 
scopic locomotive  torpedo  suspended  by  a  parachute  has 
a  tremendous  significance. 

And  let  no  one  think  like  the  ostrich  that  burying  one's 
head  in  the  sand  will  make  Invention  desist.  At  the  first 
Hague  Peace  Conference  in  1899,  when  I  was  one  of  the 
British  Delegates,  huge  nonsense  was  talked  about  the 
amenities  of  war.  War  has  no  amenities,  although  Mr. 
Norman  Angell  attacked  me  in  print  for  saying  so.  It's 
like  two  Innocents  playing  singlestick;  they  agree,  when 


132  MEMORIES 

they  begin,  not  to  hit  hard,  but  it  don't  last  long!  Like 
fighting  using  only  one  fist  against  the  other  man  with 
two;  the  other  fist  damn  soon  comes  out!  The  Ancient 
who  formulated  that  "All's  fair  in  love  and  war"  enun- 
ciated a  great  natural  principle. 

"War  is  the  essence  of  violence" 
"Moderation  in  War  is  imbecility" 
"HIT  FIRST.    HIT  HARD.    KEEP  ON  HIT- 
TING." 

The  following  Reports  and  letter  will  illustrate  this 
history  of  my  efforts  in  this  direction  :  — 


Lord  Fisher  returned  to  the  Admiralty  on  October  30th, 

88  S.S.  airships  were  at  once  ordered  —  single  engine  type.     Six 

improved  type. 

Before  Lord  Fisher  left  the  Admiralty,  a  design  of  a  double-engine 

type  was  got  out,  and  subsequently  another  32  airships  were  ordered. 

CIRCULAR  LETTER  issued  by  Lord  Fisher  in  1914  when 
First  Sea  Lord:  — 

Lord  Fisher  desires  to  express  to  all  concerned  his  high 
appreciation  of  the  service  rendered  by  those  who  carried 
out  the  recent  daring  raid  on  Lake  Constance. 

He  considers  that  the  flight  mentioned,  made  over  250 
miles  of  enemy  country  of  the  worst  description,  is  a  fine 
feat  of  endurance,  courage,  and  skill,  and  reflects  great 
credit  on  all  who  took  part  in  the  raid,  and  through  them 
on  the  Air  Service  to  which  they  belong. 


The  following  precis  of  correspondence  is  inserted  be- 
cause contributory  to  Lord  Fisher's  resignation.  He  had 
previously  written  to  Mr.  Churchill,  resigning  on  the 
ground  of  the  disregard  of  his  warnings  respecting  the 
Aircraft  menace : — 


RECAPITULATIONS  133 

An  Official  Secret  German  Dispatch,  obtained  from  a 
German  Source,  dated  December  26th,  1914: — 

The  General  Staff  of  the  German  Army  are  sending 
aircraft  to  attack  French  fortified  places.  Full  use  to  be 
made  of  favourable  weather  conditions  for  attack  of  Naval 
Zeppelins  against  the  East  Coast  of  England  with  the 
exception  of  London.  The  attack  on  London  will  follow 
later  combined  with  the  German  Army  Airships. 


Precis  of  History  of  Rigid  Airships  of  Zeppelin 
Type:- 

Lord  Fisher,  when  First  Sea  Lord,  in  December,  1908, 
instructed  Admiral  Bacon  to  press  for  the  construction  of 
rigid  airships  for  naval  purposes  at  the  meetings  of  a  Sub- 
Committee  of  the  Committee  of  Imperial  Defence,  which 
held  its  first  meeting  in  December,  1908,  after  many  meet- 
ings at  which  Admiral  Bacon  presented  the  naval  point  of 
view  with  much  lucidity.  The  Committee  recommended 
on  January  28th,  1909,  the  following: — 

(a)  The  Committee  are  of  opinion  that  the  dangers 
to  which  we  might  be  exposed  by  developments  in  aerial 
navigation  cannot  be  definitely  ascertained  until  we  our- 
selves possess  airships. 

(b)  There  are  good  grounds  for  assurining  that  air- 
ships will  prove  of  great  value  to  the  Navy  for  scouting 
and  possibly  for  destructive  purposes.1    From  a  military 
point  of  view  they  are  also  important. 

(c)  A  sum  of  £35,000  should  be  included  in  the  Naval 
Estimates  for  the  purpose  of  building  an  airship  of  a 
rigid  type.    The  sum  alluded  to  should  include  the  cost 
of  all  preliminary  and  incidental  expenses. 

1This  was  written  in  December,  1908,  and  our  Fleet  and  ships  were  always 
dogged  in  the  war  by  them. 


134  MEMORIES 

(d)  A  sum  of  £10,000  should  be  included  in  Army 
Estimates  for  continuing  experiments  with  navigable  bal- 
loons of  a  non-rigid  type,  and  for  the  purchase  of  com- 
plete non-rigid  airships  and  their  component  parts. 

January  2Sth,  1909. 

Approved  by  Committee  of  Imperial  Defence,  Feb- 
ruary 25thf  1909. 

And  nothing  more  was  done  till  I  came  back  to  Admiralty 
on  October  30th,  1914! 

Letter  from  Admiral  Sir  S.  Eardley  Wilmot,  for- 
merly Superintendent  of  Ordnance  Stores,  Admiralty: — 

THE  OLD  MALT  HOUSE, 
MARLOW, 

August  ISth,  1916. 

DEAR  LORD  FISHER, 

Having  given  us  splendid  craft  to  fight  on  and  un- 
der the  sea,  I  wish  you  would  take  up  the  provision  of  an 
air  fleet.  There  is  going  to  be  a  great  development  of 
air  navigation  in  the  future  and  all  nations  will  be  at  it. 
With  our  resources  and  wealth  we  can  take  and  keep  the 
lead  if  we  like* 

As  a  modest  programme  to  start  with  we  might  aim  at 
100  air  battleships  and  400  air  cruisers:  all  on  the  "lighter 
than  air"  principle. 

I  met  a  young  fellow  who  had  been  in  the  Jutland  ac- 
tion and  asked  him  how  the  15-inch  guns  did.  "Splen- 
didly," he  said — "They  did  nearly  all  the  real  execution." 
I  hear  the  Germans  have  got  17-inch  guns,  which  is  what 
I  anticipated,  but  they  won't  get  ahead  of  us  in  that  time 
tho'  we  can't  yet  snuff  out  their  Zepps,  thanks  to  you 
know  who. 

Yours  sincerely, 
(Signed)     S.  EARDLEY  WILMOT. 

Note. — More  than  a  year  before  I  got  this  letter  I  had 
got  a  20-inch  gun  ready  to  be  built  for  a  new  type  of 
Battle  Cruiser! 


RECAPITULATIONS  135 

THE  SUBMARINE  MINE 

As  quite  a  young  Lieutenant,  with  extraordinary  im- 
pudence I  told  the  then  First  Sea  Lord  of  the  Admiralty 
that  the  Hertz  German  Submarine  Mine,  which  I  had 
seen  a  few  days  before  in  Kiel  Harbour,  would  so  far 
revolutionise  sea  warfare  as  possibly  to  prevent  one  fleet 
pursuing  another,  by  the  Fleet  that  was  flying  dropping 
submarine  mines  in  its  wake;  and  certainly  that  sudden 
sea  operations  of  the  old  Nelsonic  type  would  seriously 
be  interfered  with.  He  very  good  humouredly  sent  me 
away  as  a  young  desperado,  as  he  remembered  that  I  had 
been  a  lunatic  in  prophesying  the  doom  of  masts  and  sails, 
which  were  still  then  magnificently  supreme,  and  the  de- 
spised engineer  yet  hiding  his  diminished  head  had  to  keep 
the  smell  of  oily  oakum  away  from  the  noses  of  the  Lords 
of  the  ship. 

That  same  Hertz  mine  in  all  its  essentials  remains  still 
"The  King  of  Mines,"  and  if  only  in  those  years  imme- 
diately preceding  the  war  we  had  manufactured  none  else, 
instead  of  trying  to  improve  on  it,  we  should  have  bagged 
no  end  of  big  game.  But  as  it  was,  our  mines  were  squibs ; 
the  enemy's  ship  always  steamed  away  and  got  into  har- 
bour, while  ours  always  went  down  plump. 

The  Policy  of  the  Submarine  Mine  favoured  us,  but 
our  authorities  couldn't  see  it.  I  printed  in  three  kinds 
of  type: 

(1)  Huge  capitals;  (2)  Italics;  (3)  big  Roman  block 
letters  the  following  words,  submitted  to  the  authorities 
very  early  in  the  war: — 

"Sow  the  North  Sea  with  Mines  on  such  a  huge  scale 
that  Naval  Operations  in  it  become  utterly  impossible." 


136  MEMORIES 

So  you  nip  into  the  Baltic  with  the  British  Fleet. 

That  British  Mining  Policy  blocked  the  North  Sea 
entrance  to  the  Kiel  Canal — that  British  Mining  Policy 
dished  the  neutrals.  When  the  neutrals  got  blown  up 
you  swore  it  was  a  German  mine — it  was  the  Germans 
who  began  laying  mines;  and  a  mine,  when  it  blows  you 
up,  don't  hand  you  a  ticket  like  a  passport,  saying  what 
nationality  it  is.  In  fact,  our  mines  were  so  damned  bad 
they  couldn't  help  believing  it  was  a  German  mine.  But 
I  might  add  I  think  they  would  have  sunk  any  Merchant 
ship,  squibs  though  they  were ;  and  I  may  add  in  a  paren- 
thesis this  British  policy  of  submarine  mines  for  the  North 
Sea  would  have  played  hell  with  the  German  submarines, 
not  so  much  blowing  them  up  but  entangling  their  screws. 

Well,  at  the  last — longo  intervallo — towards  the  close 
of  the  war,  being  the  fifteenth  "Too  Late"  of  Mr.  Lloyd 
George's  ever  memorable  and  absolutely  true  speech,  the 
British  Foreign  Office  did  allow  this  policy,  and  the 
United  States  sent  over  mines  in  thousands  upon  thou- 
sands, and  we're  still  trying  to  pick  'em  up,  in  such  vast 
numbers  were  they  laid  down! 

We  really  are  a  very  peculiar  people. 
Lions  led  by  Asses! 

I  bought  a  number  of  magnificent  and  fast  vessels  for 
laying  down  these  mines  in  masses — no  sooner  had  I  left 
the  Admiralty  in  May,  1915,  they  were  so  choice  that 
they  were  diverted  and  perverted  to  other  uses. 

But  perhaps  the  most  sickening  of  all  the  events  of  the 
war  was  the  neglect  of  the  Humber  as  the  jumping-off 
place  for  our  great  fast  Battle  Cruiser  force,  with  all  its 
attendant  vessels — light  Cruisers,  Destroyers,  and  Sub- 


RECAPITULATIONS  137 

marines,  and  mine-layers,  and  mine-sweepers — for  offen- 
sive action  at  any  desired  moment,  and  as  a  mighty  and 
absolute  deterrent  to  the  humiliating  bombardment  of  our 
coasts  by  that  same  fast  German  Battle  Cruiser  force. 
The  Humber  is  the  nearest  spot  to  Heligoland;  and  at 
enormous  cost  and  greatly  redounding  to  the  credit  of  the 
present  Hydrographer  of  the  Navy,  Admiral  Learmonth 
(then  Director  of  Fixed  Defences),  the  Humber  was 
made  submarine-proof,  and  batteries  were  placed  in  the 
sea  protecting  the  obstructions,  and  moorings  laid  down 
behind  triple  lines  of  defence  against  all  possibility  of 
hostile  successful  attack. 

However,  I  had  to  leave  the  Admiralty  before  it  was 
completed  and  the  ships  sent  there;  and  then  the  mot 
d'ordre  was  Passivity ;  and  when  the  Germans  bombarded 
Scarborough  and  Yarmouth  and  so  on,  we  said  to  them 
a  la  Chinois,,  making  great  grimaces  and  beating  tom- 
toms: "If  you  come  again,  look  out!"  But  the  Germans 
weren't  Chinese,  and  they  came;  and  the  soothing  words 
spoken  to  the  Mayors  of  the  bombarded  East  Coast  towns 
were  what  Mark  Twain  specified  as  being  "spoke  iron- 
ical." 

I  conclude  this  Chapter  with  the  following  words, 
printed  in  the  early  autumn  of  1914: — 

"By  the  half -measures  we  have  adopted  hitherto  in 
regard  to  Open-Sea  Mines  we  are  enjoying  neither  the 
one  advantage  nor  the  other." 

That  is  to  say,  when  the  Germans  at  the  very  first 
outbreak  of  war  departed  from  the  rules  of  the  Hague 
Conference  against  the  type  of  mine  they  used,  we  had 
two  courses  open  to  us:  there  was  the  moral  advantage 
of  refusing  to  follow  the  bad  lead,  or  we  could  seek  a 


138  MEMORIES 

physical  advantage  by  forcing  the  enemies'  crime  to  its 
utmost  consequences.  We  were  effete.  We  were  pusil- 
lanimous, and  we  were  like  Jelly-fish. 

And  we  "Waited  and  See'd" 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA 

WE  started  out  on  the  compilation  of  this  book  on  the 
understanding  that  it  was  not  to  be  an  Autobiography, 
nor  a  Diary,  nor  Meditations  (a  la  Marcus  Aurelius) ,  but 
simply  "MEMORIES."  And  now  you  drive  me  to  give  you 
a  Synopsis  of  my  life  (which  is  an  artful  periphrasis), 
and  request  me  to  account  for  my  past  life  being  one  con- 
tinuous series  of  fightings — Love  and  Hate  alternating 
and  Strife  the  thread  running  through  this  mortal  coil  of 
mine.  (When  a  coil  of  rope  is  made  in  a  Government 
Dock-yard  a  coloured  worsted  thread  is  introduced ;  it  runs 
through  the  centre  of  the  rope:  if  the  rope  breaks  and 
sends  a  man  to  "Kingdom  Come,"  you  know  the  Dock- 
yard that  made  it  and  you  ask  questions ;  if  it's  purloined 
the  Detective  bowls  out  the  purloiner.)  So  far  my  rope 
of  life  has  not  broken  and  the  thread  is  there — Strife. 

Greatly  daring,  and  "storms  of  obloquy"  having  been 
my  portion,  I  produce  now  an  apologia  pro  vita  mea, 
though  it  may  not  pulverise  as  that  great  Cardinal  pul- 
verised with  his  famous  Apologia  ("He  looked  like 
Heaven  and  he  fought  like  Hell"). 


Here  I  would  insert  a  note  which  I  discovered  this 
very  afternoon  sent  me  by  an  unknown  friend  when  Ad- 
miral von  Spec  and  all  his  host  went  to  the  bottom.  Be- 
fore that  event  there  had  been  a  series  of  disasters  at 
sea,  and  a  grave,  uneasy  feeling  about  our  Navy  was 

139 


1 40  MEMORIES 

spreading  over  the  land.  The  three  great  Cruisers — 
"Hogue,"  "Cressy"  and  "Aboukir" — had  been  sunk  near 
the  German  coast.  What  were  they  doing  there?  Did 
they  think  they  were  Nelson  blockading  Toulon?  The 
"Goeben"  and  "Breslau"  had  escaped  from  our  magnifi- 
cent Battle  Cruisers,  then  in  the  Mediterranean,  which 
had  actually  boxed  them  up  in  the  Harbour  of  Messina; 
and  they  had  gone  unharmed  to  Constantinople,  and  like 
highwaymen  had  held  a  pistol  at  the  head  of  the  Sultan 
with  the  threat  of  bombarding  Constantinople  and  his 
Palace  and  thus  converted  Turkey,  our  ancient  ally,  into 
the  most  formidable  foe  we  had.  For  is  not  England  the 
greatest  Mahomedan  Power  in  the  world?  The  escape 
of  the  "Goeben"  and  "Breslau"  was  an  irreparable  dis- 
aster almost  equalled  by  our  effete  handling  of  Bulgaria, 
the  key  State  of  the  Balkans ;  and  we  didn't  give  her  what 
she  asked.  When  we  offered  it  and  more  next  year,  she 
told  us  to  go  to  hell.  Then  there  was  the  "Pegasus,"  that 
could  neither  fight  nor  run  away,  massacred  in  cold  blood 
at  Zanzibar  by  a  German  Cruiser  as  superior  to  her  as 
our  Battle  Cruisers  were  to  von  Spec.  And  last  of  all,  as 
a  climax,  that  sent  the  hearts  of  the  British  people  into 
their  boots,  poor  Cradock  and  his  brave  ships  were  sunk 
by  Admiral  von  Spec.  I  became  First  Sea  Lord  within 
24  hours  of  that  event,  and  without  delay  the  Dreadnought 
Battle  Cruisers,  "Inflexible"  and  "Invincible,"  went  7,000 
miles  without  a  hitch  in  their  water  tube  boilers  or  their 
turbine  machinery,  and  arrived  at  the  Falkland  Islands 
almost  simultaneously  with  Admiral  von  Spec  and  his 
eleven  ships.  That  night  von  Spec,  like  another  Casa- 
bianca  with  his  son  on  board,  had  gone  to  the  bottom  and 
all  his  ships  save  one — and  that  one  also  soon  after — were 
sunk.  I  have  to  reiterate  about  von  Spec,  as  to  this  day 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          141 

the  veil  is  upon  the  faces  of  our  people,  and  they  do  not 
realise  the  Salvation  that  came  to  them. 

1.  We   should  have  had  no  munitions — our  nitrate 
came  from  Chili. 

2.  We   should  have  lost  the   Pacific — the   Falkland 
Islands  would  have  been  another  Heligoland  and  a  sub- 
marine base. 

3.  Von  Spec  had  German  reservists,  picked  up  on  the 
Pacific  Coast,  on  board,  to  man  the  fortifications  to  be 
erected  on  the  Falkland  Islands. 

4.  He  would  have  proceeded  to  the  Cape  of  Good 
Hope  and  massacred  our  Squadron  there,  as  he  had  mas- 
sacred Cradock  and  his  Squadron. 

5.  General  Botha  and  his  vast  fleet  of  transports  pro- 
ceeding to  the  conquest  of  German  South- West  Africa 
would  have  been  destroyed. 

6.  Africa  under  Hertzog  would  have  become  German. 

7.  Von    Spec,    distributing   his    Squadron   on   every 
Ocean,  would  have  exterminated  British  Trade. 

That's  not  a  bad  resume! 

Now  I  give  the  note,  for  it  really  is  first-rate.  Who 
wrote  it  I  don't  know,  and  I  don't  know  the  paper  that 
it  came  from: — 

"It  is  amusing  to  read  the  eulogies  now  showered  on 
Lord  Fisher.  He  is  the  same  man  with  the  same  meth- 
ods, the  same  ideas,  and  the  same  theories  and  practice 
which  he  had  in  1905  when  he  was  generally  abused  as  an 
unscrupulous  rascal  for  whom  the  gallows  were  too  good. 
Lord  Fisher's  silence  under  storms  of  obloquy  while  he 
was  building  up  Sea  Power  was  a  striking  evidence  of 
his  title  to  fame." 

The  writer  of  the  paragraph  quotes  the  above  words 
from  some  other  paper;  then  he  goes  on  with  the  fol- 
lowing remark: — 


142  MEMORIES 

"We  cordially  endorse  these  observations.  At  the 
same  time,  not  all  of  those  who  raised  the  'storms  of 
obloquy'  in  1905  and  for  some  years  subsequently  are  now 
indulging  in  eulogy.  Many  of  them  just  maintain  a  more 
or  less  discreet  silence,  varied  by  an  occasional  insinua- 
tion either  in  public  or  in  private  that  everything  is  not 
quite  as  it  should  be  at  the  Admiralty,  or  that  Lord  Fisher 
is  too  old  for  his  job,  etc.,  etc.,  etc.  As  we  have  often  re- 
marked, many  of  the  vituperators  of  Lord  Fisher  hated 
him  for  this  one  simple  reason,  that  he  had  weighed  them 
up  and  found  them  wanting.  They  had  imposed  on  the 
public,  but  they  couldn't  impose  on  him.  Some  of  these 
vituperators  are  now  discreetly  silent,  but  we  know  for  a 
fact  that  their  sentiments  towards  the  First  Sea  Lord  are 
not  in  the  slightest  degree  changed." 

To  proceed  with  this  synopsis: — 

I  entered  the  Navy,  July  12th,  1854,  on  board  Her 
Majesty's  Ship  "Victory,"  after  being  medically  examined 
by  the  Doctor  on  board  of  her,  and  writing  out  from 
dictation  The  Lord's  Prayer;  and  I  rather  think  I  did  a 
Rule  of  Three  sum.  Before  that  time,  for  seven  years  I 
had  a  hard  life.  My  paternal  grandfather — a  splendid 
old  parson  of  the  fox-hunting  type — with  whom  I  was  to 
live,  had  died  just  before  I  reached  England;  and  no 
one  else  but  my  maternal  grandfather  was  in  a  position 
to  give  me  a  home.  He  was  a  simple-minded  man  and 
had  been  fleeced  out  of  a  fortune  by  a  foreign  scoundrel 
— I  remember  him  well,  as  also  I  remember  the  Chartist 
Riots  of  1848  when  I  saw  a  policeman  even  to  my  little 
mind  behaving,  as  I  thought,  brutally  to  passing  indi- 
viduals. I  remember  seeing  a  tottering  old  man  having 
his  two  sticks  taken  away  from  him  and  broken  across 
their  knees  by  the  police.  On  the  other  hand,  I  have  to 
bear  witness  to  a  little  phalanx  of  40  splendid  police  (who 
then  wore  tall  hats  and  tail  coats)  charging  a  multitude 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          143 

of  what  seemed  to  me  to  be  thousands  and  sending  them 
flying  for  their  lives.  They  only  had  their  truncheons — 
but  they  knew  how  to  use  them  certainly.  They  seized 
the  band  and  smashed  the  instruments  and  tore  up  their 
flags. 

I  share  Lord  Rosebery's  delightful  distaste;  and  wild 
horses  won't  make  me  say  more  about  those  early  years. 
These  are  Lord  Rosebery's  delicious  words: — 

"There  is  one  initial  part  of  a  biography  which  is 
skipped  by  every  judicious  reader;  that  in  which  the  pedi- 
gree of  the  hero  is  set  forth,  often  with  warm  fancy  and 
sometimes  at  intolerable  length." 

How  can  it  possibly  interest  anyone  to  know  that  my 
simple-minded  maternal  grandfather  was  driven  through 
the  artifices  of  a  rogue  to  take  in  lodgers,  who  of  their 
charity  gave  me  bread  thickly  spread  with  butter — butter 
was  a  thing  I  otherwise  never  saw — and  my  staple  food 
was  boiled  rice  with  brown  sugar — very  brown? 

Other  vicissitudes  of  my  early  years — until  I  became 
Gunnery  Lieutenant  of  the  first  English  Ironclad,  the 
"Warrior,"  at  an  extraordinarily  early  age — may  be  told 
some  day;  and  all  that  your  desired  synopsis  demands  is  a 
filling  in  of  dates  and  a  few  details,  till  I  became  the 
Captain  of  the  "Inflexible"— the  "Dreadnought"  of  her 
day.  I  was  promoted  from  Commander  to  Captain 
largely  through  a  Lord  of  the  Admiralty  by  chance  hear- 
ing me  hold  forth  in  a  Lecture  to  a  bevy  of  Admirals. 

H.M.S.  "VIGILANT,"  PORTSMOUTH. 
October  Srd,  1873. 

Mr.  Goschen  and  Milne  left  at  10  a.m.  I  stayed  and  went  on 
board  "Vernon,"  Torpedo  School  Ship,  at  11.  Had  a  most  interesting 
lecture  from  Commander  Fisher,  a  promising  young  officer,  and 
witnessed  several  experiments.  The  result  of  my  observations  was 


144  MEMORIES 

that  in  my  opinion  the  Torpedo  has  a  great  future  before  it  and  that 
mechanical  training  mill  in  the  near  future  be  essential  for  ojficert. 
Made  a  note  to  speak  to  Goschen  about  young  Fisher. 

That  was  in  1873.  More  than  thirty  years  after, 
"Young  Fisher"  was  instrumental  in  making  this  prin- 
ciple the  basis  of  the  new  system  of  education  of  all  naval 
cadets  at  Osborne. 

I  remember  so  well  taking  a  "rise"  out  of  my  exalted 
company  of  Admirals  and  others.  The  voltaic  element, 
which  all  lecturers  then  produced  with  gusto  as  the  ele- 
mentary galvanic  cell,  was  known  as  the  "Daniell  Cell." 
A  bit  of  zinc,  and  a  bit  of  copper  stuck  in  sawdust  sat- 
urated with  diluted  sulphuric  acid,  and  there  you  were! 
A  bit  of  wire  from  the  zinc  to  one  side  of  a  galvanometer 
and  a  bit  of  wire  from  the  copper  to  the  other  side  and 
round  went  the  needle  as  if  pursued  by  the  devil. 

There  were  endless  varieties  of  this  "Daniell  Cell," 
which  it  was  always  considered  right  and  proper  to  de- 
scribe. "Now,"  I  said,  "Sirs,  I  will  give  you  without  any 
doubt  whatsoever  the  original  Daniell  Cell" — at  that  mo- 
ment disclosing  to  their  rapt  and  enquiring  gaze  a  huge 
drawing  (occupying  the  whole  side  of  the  lecture  room 
and  previously  shrouded  by  a  table  cloth) — the  Lions  with 
their  mouths  firmly  shut  and  Daniel  apparently  biting  his 
nails  waiting  for  daylight!  Anyhow,  that's  how  Rubens 
represents  him. 

I  very  nearly  got  into  trouble  over  that  "Sell."  Ad' 
mirals  don't  like  being  "sold." 

I  should  have  mentioned  that  antecedent  to  this  I  had 
been  Commander  of  the  China  Flagship.  I  wished  very 
much  for  the  Mediterranean  Flagship;  but  my  life-long 
and  good  friend  Lord  Walter  Kerr  was  justly  preferred 
before  me.  The  Pacific  Flagship  was  also  vacant;  and 
I  think  the  Admiral  wanted  me  there,  but  I  had  a  won- 


AGED   14.     MIDSHIPMAN 

H.  M.  S.  "Highflyer,"  China. 


[144 


1904.    AGED  63.    ADMIBAL 

Comtnander-in-Chief  at  Portsmouth. 


IMS 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          145 

derful  good  friend  at  the  Admiralty,  Sir  Beauchamp  Sey- 
mour, afterwards  Lord  Alcester,  who  was  determined  I 
should  go  to  China.  So  to  China  I  went;  and,  as  it  hap- 
pened, it  turned  out  trumps,  for  the  Admiral  got  soften- 
ing of  the  brain,  and  I  was  told  that  when  he  got  home 
and  attended  at  the  Admiralty  I  was  the  only  thing  in 
his  mind;  the  only  thing  he  could  say  was  "Fisher!"  And 
this  luckily  helped  me  in  my  promotion  to  Post  Captain. 
After  starting  the  "Vernon"  as  Torpedo  School  of 
the  Navy  and  partaking  in  a  mission  to  Fiume  to  arrange 
for  the  purchase  of  the  Whitehead  Torpedo,  I  was  sent 
at  an  hour's  notice  overland  to  Malta,  where  on  entering 
the  harbour  I  noticed  an  old  tramp  picking  up  her  anchor, 
and  on  enquiry  found  she  was  going  to  Constantinople, 
where  the  ship  I  was  to  command  was  with  the  Fleet  un- 
der Sir  Geoffrey  Hornby.  I  went  alongside,  got  up  a 
rope  ladder  that  was  hanging  over  the  side  and  pulled  up 
my  luggage  with  a  rope's  end,  when  the  Captain  of  the 
Tramp  came  up  to  me  and  said:  "Hullo!"  I  said 
"Hullo!"  He  said,  "What  is  it  you  want?"  He  didn't 
know  who  I  was,  and  I  was  in  plain  clothes,  just  as  I  had 
travelled  over  the  Continent,  and  I  replied:  "I'm  going 
with  you  to  Constantinople  to  join  my  ship";  and  he  said, 
"There  ain't  room;  there's  only  one  bunk,  and  when  I 
ain't  in  it  the  mate  is."  I  said,  "All  right,  I  don't  want 
a  bunk."  And  he  said,  "Well,  we  ain't  got  no  cook."  And 
I  said,  "That  don't  matter  either."  That  man  and  I  till 
he  died  were  like  Jonathan  and  David.  He  was  a  mag- 
nificent specimen  of  those  splendid  men  who  command 
our  merchant  ships — I  worshipped  the  ground  he  trod  on. 
His  mate  was  just  as  good.  They  kept  watch  and  watchA 
and  it  was  a  hard  life.  I  said  to  him  one  day,  "Captain, 
I  never  see  you  take  sights."  "Well,"  he  said,  "why 
should  I?  When  I  leaves  one  lamp-post  I  steers  for  the 


146  MEMORIES 

other"  (meaning  lighthouses) ;  "and,"  he  says,  "I  trusts 
my  engineer.  He  gives  me  the  revolutions  what  the  en- 
gine has  made,  and  I  know  exactly  where  I  am.  And," 
he  says,  "when  you  have  been  going  twenty  years  on  the 
same  road  and  no  other  road,  you  gets  to  know  exactly 
how  to  do  it."  "Well,"  I  said,  "what  do  you  do  about 
your  compass?  are  you  sure  it's  correct?  In  the  Navy, 
you  know,  we're  constantly  looking  at  the  sun  when  it 
sets,  and  that's  an  easy  way  of  seeing  that  the  compass 
is  right."  "Well,"  he  said,  "what  I  does  is  this.  I  throws 
a  cask  overboard,  and  when  it's  as  far  off  as  ever  I  can 
see  it,  I  turns  the  ship  round  on  her  axis.  I  takes  the 
bearing  of  the  cask  at  every  point  of  the  compass,  I  adds 
'em  all  up,  divides  the  total  by  the  number  of  bearings, 
which  gives  me  the  average,  and  then  I  subtracts  each 
point  of  the  compass  from  it,  and  that's  what  the  compass 
is  wrong  on  each  point.  But,"  he  says,  "I  seldom  does  it, 
because  provided  I  make  the  lamp-post  all  right  I  think 
the  compass  is  all  right." 

I  found  Admiral  Hornby's  fleet  at  Ismid  near  Con- 
stantinople, and  Admiral  Hornby  sent  a  vessel  to  meet 
me  at  Constantinople.  He  had  heard  from  Malta  that  I 
was  on  board  the  tramp.  That  great  man  was  the  finest 
Admiral  afloat  since  Nelson.  At  the  Admiralty  he  was  a 
failure.  So  would  Nelson  have  been!  With  both  of  them 
their  Perfection  was  on  the  Sea,  not  at  an  office  desk. 
Admiral  Hornby  I  simply  adored.  I  had  known  him 
many  years;  and  while  my  cabins  on  board  my  ship  were 
being  painted,  he  asked  me  to  come  and  live  with  him 
aboard  his  Flagship,  which  I  did,  and  I  was  next  ship  to 
him  always  when  at  sea.  He  was  astounding.  He  would 
tell  you  what  you  were  going  to  do  wrong  before  you  did 
it;  and  you  couldn't  say  you  weren't  going  to  do  it  be- 
cause you  had  put  your  helm  over  and  the  ship  had  begun 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          147 

to  move  the  wrong  way.  Many  years  afterwards,  when 
he  was  the  Port  Admiral  at  Portsmouth,  I  was  head  of 
the  Gunnery  School  at  Portsmouth,  and,  some  war  scare 
arising,  he  was  ordered  to  take  command  of  the  whole 
Fleet  at  home  collected  at  Portland.  He  took  me  with 
him  as  a  sort  of  Captain  of  the  Fleet,  and  we  went  to 
Bantry  Bay,  where  we  had  exercises  of  inestimable  value. 
He  couldn't  bear  a  fool,  so  of  course  he  had  many  enemies. 
There  never  lived  a  more  noble  character  or  a  greater  sea- 
man. He  was  incomparable. 


After  commanding  the  "Pallas"  in  the  Mediterranean 
under  Sir  Geoffrey  Hornby,  I  was  selected  by  Admiral 
Sir  Cooper  Key  as  his  Flag  Captain  in  North  America 
in  command  of  the  "Bellerophon" ;  and  I  again  followed 
Sir  Cooper  Key  as  his  Flag  Captain  in  the  "Hercules" 
when  he  also  was  put  in  command  of  a  large  fleet  on  an- 
other war  scare  arising.  It  was  in  that  year  I  began  the 
agitation  for  the  introduction  of  Lord  Kelvin's  compass 
into  the  Navy,  and  I  continued  that  agitation  with  the 
utmost  vehemence  till  the  compass  was  adopted.  After 
that  I  was  chosen  by  Admiral  Sir  Leopold  McClintock, 
the  great  Arctic  Explorer,  to  be  his  Flag  Captain  on  the 
North  American  Station,  in  the  "Northampton,"  then  a 
brand  new  ship.  He  again  was  a  splendid  man,  and  his 
kindness  to  me  is  unforgettable.  He  had  gone  through 
great  hardships  in  the  Arctic — once  he  hadn't  washed  for 
179  days.  He  was  like  a  rare  old  bit  of  mahogany;  and 
I  was  told  by  an  admirer  of  his  that  when  the  thermometer 
was  70  degrees  below  zero  he  found  the  ship  so  stuffy  that 
he  slept  outside  on  the  ice  in  his  sleeping  bag. 

I  was  suddenly  recalled  to  England  and  left  him  with 
very  deep  regret  in  the  West  Indies  to  become  Captain 
of  the  "Inflexible."  I  had  the  most  trying  parting  from 


i48  MEMORIES 

that  ship's  company  of  the  "Northampton";  and  not  being 
able  to  stand  the  good-bye,  I  crept  unseen  into  a  shore 
boat  and  got  on  board  the  mail  steamer  before  the  crew 
found  out  that  the  Captain  had  left  the  ship.  And  the 
fine  old  Captain  of  the  Mail  Steamer — Robert  Woolward 
by  name — caught  the  microbe  and  steamed  me  round  and 
round  my  late  ship.  He  was  a  great  character.  Every 
Captain  of  a  merchant  ship  I  meet  I  seem  to  think  better 
than  the  last  (I  hope  I  shan't  forget  later  on  to  describe 
Commodore  Haddock  of  the  White  Star  Line,  for  if  ever 
there  was  a  Nelson  of  the  Merchant  Service  he  was) .  But 
I  return  to  Woolward.  He  had  been  all  his  life  in  the 
same  line  of  steamers,  and  he  showed  me  some  of  his  corre- 
spondence, which  was  lovely.  He  was  invariably  in  the 
right  and  his  Board  of  Directors  were  invariably  in  the 
wrong.  I  saw  a  lovely  letter  he  had  written  that  very 
day  that  I  went  on  board,  to  his  Board  of  Directors.  He 
signed  himself  in  the  letter  as  follows: — 

"Gentlemen,  I  am  your  obedient  humble  servant"  (he 
was  neither),  "ROBERT  WOOLWARD — Forty  years  in  your 
employ  and  never  did  right  yet." 

I  must,  while  I  have  the  chance,  say  a  few  words  about 
my  friend  Haddock.  It  was  a  splendid  Captain  in  the 
White  Star  steamer  in  which  I  crossed  to  America  in 
1910,  and  I  remarked  this  to  my  Cabin  Steward,  as  a 
matter  of  conversation.  "Ah!"  he  said,  "you  should  see 
'addick."  Then  he  added,  "We  knows  him  as  'addick  of 
the  'Oceanic.'  Yes,"  he  said,  "and  Mr.  Ismay  (the  Head 
of  the  White  Star  Line)  knows  him  too!"  The  "Oceanic" 
was  Mr.  Ismay's  last  feat  in  narrowness  and  length  and 
consequent  speed  for  crossing  the  Atlantic.  I  have  heard 
that  when  he  was  dying  he  went  to  see  her.  This  con- 
versation never  left  my  mind,  although  it  was  only  the 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          149 

cabin  steward  that  told  me;  but  he  was  an  uncommon 
good  steward.  So  when  I  came  back  to  the  Admiralty  as 
First  Sea  Lord  on  October  31st,  1914,  I  at  once  got  hold 
of  Haddock,  made  him  into  a  Commodore,  and  he  com- 
manded the  finest  fleet  of  dummy  wooden  "Dreadnoughts" 
and  Battle  Cruisers  the  world  had  ever  looked  on,  and 
they  agitated  the  Atlantic,  and  the  "Queen  Elizabeth"  in 
wood  got  blown  up  by  the  Germans  at  the  Dardanelles 
instead  of  the  real  one.  The  Germans  left  the  other  bat- 
tleships alone  chasing  the  "Elizabeth."  If  this  should 
meet  the  eye  of  Haddock,  I  want  to  tell  him  that,  had  I 
remained,  he  would  have  been  Sir  Herbert  Haddock, 
K.C.B.,  or  I'd  have  died  in  the  attempt. 


Now  you  have  got  perhaps  not  all  you  want,  but  suffi- 
cient for  the  Notes  to  follow  here. 

THE  "WARRIOR" 

I  was  appointed  Gunnery  Lieutenant  of  the  "War- 
rior" our  First  Ironclad  in  1863,  when  I  was  a  little  over 
22  years  old.  I  had  just  won  the  Beaufort  Testimonial 
(Senior  Wrangler),  and  that,  with  a  transcendental  Cer- 
tificate from  Commodore  Oliver  Jones,  who  was  at  that 
time  the  demon  of  the  Navy,  gave  me  a  "leg  up." 

The  "Warrior"  was  then,  like  the  "Inflexible"  in  1882 
and  the  "Dreadnought"  in  1905,  the  cynosure  of  all  eyes. 
She  had  a  very  famous  Captain,  the  son  of  that  great 
seaman  Lord  Dundonald,  and  a  still  more  famous  Com- 
mander, Sir  George  Try  on,  who  afterwards  went  down  in 
the  "Victoria."  She  had  a  picked  crew  of  officers  and 
men,  so  I  was  wonderfully  fortunate  to  be  the  Gunnery 
Lieutenant,  and  at  so  young  an  age  I  got  on  very  well, 
except  for  sky -larking  in  the  ward-room,  for  which  I  got 


1 50  MEMORIES 

into  trouble.  There  was  a  dear  old  grey-headed  Pay- 
master, and  a  mature  Doctor,  and  a  still  more  mature 
Chaplain,  quite  a  dear  old  Saint.  These,  with  other  wil- 
ling spirits  of  a  younger  phase,  I  organised  into  a  peripa- 
tetic band.  The  Parson  used  to  play  the  coal  scuttle, 
the  Doctor  the  tongs  and  shovel,  the  dear  old  Paymaster 
used  to  do  the  cymbals  with  an  old  tin  kettle.  The  other 
instruments  we  made  ourselves  out  of  brown  paper,  and 
we  perambulated,  doing  our  best.  The  Captain  came  out 
of  his  cabin  door  and  asked  the  sentry  what  that  noise  was? 
We  were  all  struck  dumb  by  his  voice,  the  skylight  being 
open,  and  we  were  silent.  The  Sentry  said:  "It's  only 
Mr.  Fisher,  Sir!"  so  he  shut  the  door!  The  Commander, 
Sir  George  Tryon,  wasn't  so  nice !  He  sent  down  a  mes- 
sage to  say  the  Gunnery  Lieutenant  was  "to  stop  that 
fooling!"  (However,  this  only  drove  us  into  another  kind 
of  sport!)  We  were  all  very  happy  messmates;  they 
kindly  spoilt  me  as  if  I  was  the  Baby.  I  never  went  ashore 
by  any  chance,  so  all  the  other  Lieutenants  liked  me  be- 
cause I  took  their  duty  for  them.  One  of  them  was  like 
Nelson's  signal — he  expected  every  man  to  do  his  duty! 
I  was  his  bosom  friend,  which  reminds  me  of  another  mess- 
mate I  had  who,  the  witty  First  Lieutenant  said,  always 
reminded  him  of  Nelson!  Not  seeing  the  faintest  resem- 
blance, I  asked  him  why.  "Well,"  he  said,  "the  last  thing 
Nelson  did  was  to  die  for  his  country,  and  that  is  the  last 
thing  this  fellow  would  do!"  It  may  be  an  old  joke,  but 
I'd  never  heard  it  before,  and  it  was  true. 

I  got  on  very  well  with  the  sailors,  and  our  gunnery 
was  supposed  to  be  A  1.  They  certainly  did  rush  the 
guns  about,  so  I  was  sent  in  charge  of  the  bluejackets  to 
a  banquet  given  them  ashore.  I  imagined  that  on  our 
return  they  might  have  had  a  good  lot  of  beer,  so  I 
appealed  to  their  honour  and  affection,  when  we  marched 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          151 

back  to  the  ship  in  fours,  to  take  each  other's  arms.  They 
nobly  did  it!  And  I  got  highly  complimented  for  the 
magnificent  way 'they  marched  back  through  the  streets!! 
And  this  is  the  episode!  The  galleries  at  the  banquet 
were  a  mass  of  ladies,  and  very  nice-looking  ones.  When 
the  banquet  was  over,  the  Captain  of  the  Maintop  of 
the  "Warrior,"  John  Kiernan  by  name,  unsolicited,  stood 
up  in  his  chair  and  said:  "On  behalf  of  his  topmates  he 
wished  to  thank  the  Mayor  and  Corporation  for  a  jolly 
good  dinner  and  the  best  beer  he'd  ever  tasted."  He 
stopped  there  and  said :  "Bill,  hand  me  up  that  beer  again." 
Bill  said  there  was  no  more !  A  pledge  had  been  given  by 
the  Mayor  that  they  should  have  only  two  bottles  of  beer 
each.  But  this  episode  was  too  much  for  the  Mayor, 
and  instantly  in  came  beer  by  the  dozen,  and  my  beloved 
friend,  the  Captain  of  the  Maintop,  had  another  glass. 
This  is  how  he  went  on  (and  it  was  a  very  eloquent  speech 
in  my  opinion.  I  remember  every  word  of  it  to,  this  day) 
He  said:  "This  is  joy,"  and  he  looked  round  the  galleries 
crowded  with  the  lovely  ladies,  and  said:  "Here  we  are, 
British  Sailors  entirely  surrounded  by  females!!"  They 
waved  their  handkerchiefs  and  kissed  their  hands,  and 
that  urged  the  Captain  of  the  Maintop  into  a  fresh  flight 
of  eloquence.  "Now,"  he  said,  "Shipmates,  what  was  it 
like  now  coming  into  this  'ere  harbour  of  Liverpool"  (we 
had  come  in  under  sail) ;  "why,"  he  said,  "this  is  what  it 
was  like,  sailing  into  a  haven  of  joy  before  a  gale  of  pleas- 
ure." I  then  told  him  to  shut  up,  because  he  would  spoil 
it  by  anything  more,  and  Abraham  Johnson,  Chief  Gun- 
ner's Mate,  my  First  Lieutenant,  gave  him  more  beer! 
and  so  we  returned. 

Abraham  Johnson  was  a  wonder!  When  the  Admiral 
inspected  the  "Warrior,"  Abraham  Johnson  came  to  me 
and  said  he  knew  his  Admiral,  and  would  I  let  him  have 


152  MEMORIES 

a  free  hand?  I  said:  "All  right!"  When  the  ship  was 
prepared  for  battle,  the  Admiral  suddenly  said:  "I'll  go 
down  in  the  Magazine,"  and  began  going  down  the  steps 
of  the  Magazine  with  his  sword  on!  Abraham  was  just 
underneath  down  below,  and  called  up  to  the  Admiral: 
"Beg  pardon,  Sir!  you  can't  come  down  here!"  "D — n 
the  fellow!  what  does  he  mean?"  Abraham  reiterated: 
"You  can't  come  down  here."  The  Admiral  said: 
"Why  not?"  "Because  no  iron  instrument  is  allowed  in 
the  Magazine,"  said  Abraham.  "Ah!"  said  the  Admiral, 
unbuckling  his  sword,  "that  fellow  knows  his  duty.  This 
is  a  properly  organised  ship!" 

It  is  seldom  appreciated — it  certainly  was  not  then 
appreciated  on  board  the  "Warrior"  when  I  was  her 
Gunnery  Lieutenant — that  this,  our  first  armour-clad 
ship-of-war,  the  "Warrior,"  would  cause  a  fundamental 
change  in  what  had  been  in  vogue  for  something  like  a 
thousand  years!  For  the  Navy  that  had  been  founded 
by  Alfred  the  Great  had  lasted  till  then  without  any 
fundamental  change  till  came  this  first  Ironclad  Battle- 
ship. There  is  absolutely  nothing  in  common  between 
the  fleets  of  Nelson  and  the  Jutland  Battle!  Sails  have 
given  way  to  steam.  Oak  to  steel.  Lofty  four-decked 
ships  with  144  guns  like  the  "Santissima  Trinidad,"  to 
low-lying  hulls  like  that  of  the  first  "Dreadnought." 
Guns  of  one  hundred  tons  instead  of  one  ton!  And 
Torpedoes,  Mines,  Submarines,  Aircraft.  And  then  even 
coal  being  obsolete !  And,  unlike  Nelson's  day,  no  human 
valour  can  now  compensate  for  mechanical  inferiority. 

I  rescue  these  few  words  by  a  survivor  of  the  German 
Battle  Cruiser  "Bliicher,"sunk  on  January  24th,  1915,  by 
the  British  Battle  Cruisers  "Lion"  and  "Tiger."  The 
German  Officer  says: 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          153 

"The  British  ships  started  to  fire  at  us  at  15  kilometres 
distant"  (as  a  matter  of  fact  it  was  about  11  to  12  miles). 
"The  deadly  water  spouts  came  nearer  and  nearer!  The 
men  on  deck  watched  them  with  a  strange  fascination! 

"Soon  one  pitched  close  to  the  ship,  and  a  vast  watery 
billow,  a  hundred  yards  high,  fell  lashing  on  the  deck! 

"The  range  had  been  found! 

"The  shells  came  thick  and  fast.  The  electric  plant 
was  destroyed,  and  the  ship  plunged  into  a  darkness  that 
could  be  felt!  You  could  not  see  your  hand  before  your 
nose!  Below  decks  were  horror  and  confusion,  mingled 
with  gasping  shouts  and  moans!  At  first  the  shells  came 
dropping  from  the  sky,  and  they  bored  their  way  even  to 
the  stokeholds! 

"The  coal  in  the  bunkers  was  set  on  fire,  and  as  the 
bunkers  were  half  empty  the  fire  burnt  fiercely.  In  the 
engine-room  a  shell  licked  up  the  oil  and  sprayed  it  around 
in  flames  of  blue  and  green,  scarring  its  victims  and  blaz- 
ing where  it  fell.  Men  huddled  together  in  dark  com- 
partments, but  the  shells  sought  them  out,  and  there  Death 
had  a  rich  harvest." 

I  forgot  to  say  we  had  a  surprise  visit  from  Garibaldi 
on  board  the  "Warrior" — Garibaldi,  then  at  the  zenith  of 
his  glory.  The  whole  crew  marched  past  him  singing 
the  Garibaldi  Hymn.  He  was  greatly  affected.  It  was 
very  fine  indeed ;  for  we  had  a  picked  stalwart  crew,  and 
their  sword  bayonets  glistening  in  the  sun,  and  in  their 
white  hats  and  gaiters  they  looked,  as  they  were,  real 
fighting  men!  And  then,  in  a  moment,  they  stripped 
themselves  of  their  accoutrements  and  swarmed  up  aloft 
and  spread  every  sail  on  the  ship,  including  studding  sails, 
in  a  few  minutes.  It  was  a  dead  calm,  and  so  was  feasible. 

From  the  "Warrior"  I  went  to  the  gunnery  school 
ship,  the  "Excellent";  and  it  was  during  these  years  that 
some  of  my  "manias"  began  to  display  themselves,  the  re- 


154  MEMORIES 

suit  being  that  three  times  I  lost  my  promotion  through 
them. 

It  had  fortuned  that  in  1868,  when  starting  the  Science 
of  Under- Water  Warfare  as  applied  to  the  Ocean,  I  met 
a  humble-minded  armourer  whose  name  was  Isaac  Tall, 
and  for  many  years  we  worked  together.  He  devised, 
amongst  other  inventions,  an  electrically-steered  steam 
vessel  that  could  tow  barges  laden  with  500  Ib.  mines 
which  were  dropped  automatically  at  such  a  distance 
apart  as  absolutely  to  destroy  all  hostile  mines  in  a 
sufficient  area  to  give  a  passage  for  Battleships.  Small 
buoys  were  automatically  dropped  as  the  countermines 
were  dropped  to  mark  the  cleared  passage.  That  inven- 
tion, simplicity  itself,  still  holds  the  field  for  clearing  a 
passage,  say,  into  the  Baltic.  Not  one  single  man  was  on 
board  the  steam  vessel  of  the  Barges  carrying  the  counter 
mines. 

Before  leaving  the  Admiralty,  in  January,  1910,  I 
introduced  the  use  of  Trawlers,  and  we  employed  them 
in  experimental  trials,  clearing  away  hostile  mines.  Our 
mines  in  those  days  were  very  inferior  to  the  Hertz  Ger- 
man Mine,  which  really  remains  still  the  efficient  German 
Mine  we  have  to  contend  with.  In  1868  I  took  out  a 
provisional  patent  for  a  Sympathetic  Exploder,  and 
strange  to  say,  it  is  now  coming  into  play  in  a  peculiar 
form  as  a  most  effective  weapon  for  our  use. 

I  have  remarked  elsewhere  how  the  First  Lord  of  that 
date  did  not  believe  in  mines  or  torpedoes,  and  I  left  for 
China  as  Commander  of  the  China  flagship. 

Archbishop  Magee,  that  wonderful  Prelate  who  asked 
some  layman  to  interpret  his  feelings  when  the  footman 
spilt  the  onion  sauce  over  him,  said  of  "Exaggerations" 
that  they  were  needful !  He  said  you  wanted  a  big  brush 
to  produce  scenic  effects!  A  camel's-hair  brush  was,  no 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          155 

doubt,  the  inestimable  weapon  of  Memling  in  those 
masterpieces  of  his  minute  detail  that  were  at  Bruges 
when  I  was  a  young  Post  Captain,  and  that  so  entranced 
me  there.  Ah!  that  wonderful  Madame  Polsonare 
where  we  lodged !  How  she  did  so  well  care  for  us !  The 
peas  I  used  to  watch  her  shelling !  The  three  repositories : 

First — the  old  ones  to  be  stewed. 
Second — those  for  the  Polsonare  Family. 
Thirdly — the  youngest  and  sweetest  of  the  peas  for  us 
— her  lodgers! 

And  how  most  delicious  they  were!  And  how  delightful 
was  old  "Papa"  Polsonare!  and  the  daughters  so  plump 
and  opulent  in  their  charm! 

And  their  only  son  the  "brave  Beige!"  He  was  a 
soldier!  What  has  become  of  them  now?  They  cared 
for  us  as  their  very  own,  and  charged  us  the  very  minimum 
for  our  board  and  lodging!  And  having  nothing  but  my 
pay  then,  I  was  grateful!  And  the  Kindergarten  so 
delightful!  The  little  children  all  tied  together  by  a  rope 
when  they  went  out  walking.  Pamela  was  my  youngest 
daughter.  "The  last  straw"  was  her  nickname!  And  it 
was  written  up  over  the  mantelpiece  that  it  was  "defendu" 
to  kiss  Pamela!  She  was  about  three  years  old,  I  think, 
and  went  to  school  with  a  bun  and  her  books  strapped  to 
her  back,  and  when  the  Burgomaster  gave  away  the  prizes 
she  was  put  on  a  Throne  to  hand  them  out  (dressed  as 
a  Ballet  Dancer!).  But  alas!  when  the  moment  came 
she  was  found  to  be  fast  asleep! 

I  am  always  so  surprised  that  so  little  notice  is  taken 
of  Satan's  dramatic  appearance  before  the  Almighty  with 
reference  to  the  Patriarch  Job.  It's  so  seldom  that  Satan 
in  person  comes  before  us.  He  usually  uses  someone 


156  MEMORIES 

else,  and  in  this  case  of  Job  it's  quite  the  most  subtle 
innuendo  I  ever  came  across!  It  so  accentuates  what 
occurs  in  common  life! 

"Doth  Job  fear  God  for  nought?'  Well  may  one  be 
thankful  and  prayerful  when  prosperity  is  showered  on 
one!  Can  you  be  so  in  adversity  and  affliction — unde- 
served and  unexplainable  ?  However,  Job  got  through 
all  right!  But  Prayer  is  as  much  misunderstood  as 
Charity.  A  splendid  Parson  in  Norfolk  replied  to  his 
congregation  who  asked  him  to  pray  for  rain  that  really 
it  was  useless  while  the  wind  was  east!  Also  it  appears 
to  me  that  one  farmer,  wanting  rain  for  his  turnips, 
doesn't  have  any  feeling  for  the  other  man  who  is  against 
rain  because  of  carrying  his  crop  of  something  else. 
Indeed  the  pith  and  marrow  of  prayer  is  that  it  must  be 
absolutely  unselfish,  and  so  Dr.  Chalmers  accordingly 
acutely  said  the  finest  prayer  he  knew  was:  "Almighty 
God,  the  Fountain  of  all  Wisdom,  who  knowest  our 
necessities,"  etc.  (see  Collects  at  end  of  Communion 
Service). 

Coming  home  from  the  China  Station  in  1872,  I  was 
Commander  of  the  old  Battleship  "Ocean."  She  was  an 
old  wooden  Line  of  Battleship  that  had  armour  bolted 
on  her  sides.  When  we  got  into  heavy  weather,  the 
timbers  of  the  ship  would  open  when  she  heeled  over 
one  way,  and  shut  together  when  she  heeled  the  other, 
and  squirted  the  water  inboard!  And  always  we  had 
many  fountains  playing  in  the  bottom  of  the  ship  from 
leaks,  some  quite  high.  At  Singapore  the  Chaplain  left 
us;  he  couldn't  face  it,  as  we  were  going  home  round  the 
Cape  of  Good  Hope  at  the  stormy  season.  So  I  did 
chaplain!  When  we  put  into  Zanzibar  on  the  East  Coast 
of  Africa,  I  heard  there  was  a  sick  Bishop  ashore  from 
Central  Africa  who  had  been  carried  down  on  a  shutter 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          157 

with  fever.  I  went  to  see  him,  to  ask  whether  he  could 
take  on  next  day,  Sunday,  and  give  the  crew  a  change! 
He  turned  out  to  be  a  splendid  specimen,  and  had  given 
up  a  fat  living  in  Lincolnshire  to  be  a  Missionary.  I 
found  him  eating  boiled  rice  and  a  hard  boiled  egg  on  a 
broken  plate — we  gave  him  a  good  feed  when  he  came 
on  board — but  I  am  telling  the  story  because  his  Sermon 
was  on  Prayer.  He  gave  us  no  text,  but  began  by  saying 
he  had  been  wondering  for  the  last  half-hour  what  on 
earth  that  thing  was  overhead  between  the  beams  on  the 
main  deck  where  we  were  assembled!  Of  course  we 
knew  it  was  one  of  the  long  pump  handles  for  pumping 
the  ship  out  with  the  chain  pumps  (a  thing  of  past  ages) 
— all  the  crew  had  to  take  continually  to  the  pumps,  she 
was  leaking  so  badly — and  "There!"  he  said,  "I'm  a 
Bishop,  and  instead  of  saying  my  prayers  I've  been  letting 
my  thoughts  wander,"  and  he  gave  us  a  beautiful  ex- 
tempore sermon  on  wandering  thoughts  on  Prayer  that 
hit  everyone  in  the  eye! 

I  believe  he  died  there  in  Central  Africa,  a  polished 
English  gentleman,  with  refined  tastes  and  delighting  in 
the  delicacies  of  a  cultured  life!  A  missionary  had  come 
preaching  at  his  Country  Church,  and  had  made  him 
ashamed  of  his  life  of  ease,  so  he  told  me! 

We  got  into  a  fierce  gale  off  the  Cape,  and  I  began  to 
envy  the  Chaplain  we  had  left  behind  at  Singapore,  es- 
pecially when  the  Captain  said  he  thought  there  was  noth- 
ing for  it  but  for  me,  the  Commander,  to  go  aloft  about 
the  close  reefed  fore  topsail  as  the  men  would  follow  no 
one  of  lower  rank.  My  monkey  jacket  was  literally 
"blown  into  ribbons !"  I  had  heard  the  expression  before, 
but  never  had  realised  it  could  be  exact! 

Sir  Thomas  Troubridge  foundered  with  all  hands  in 
the  exact  place  in  an  old  two-decker — I  think  it  was  the 


158  MEMORIES 

"Blenheim."  He  was  Nelson's  favourite,  and  got  ashore 
in  the  "Culloden"  at  the  Nile;  but  that's  another  story 
as  Mr.  Kipling  says! 

How  I  BECAME  CAPTAIN  OF  THE  "INFLEXIBLE." 

The  "Inflexible"  in  1882  was  a  wonder.  She  had  the 
thickest  armour,  the  biggest  guns,  and  the  largest  of  every- 
thing beyond  any  ship  in  the  world.  A  man  could  crawl 
up  inside  the  bore  of  one  of  her  guns.  Controversy  had 
raged  round  her.  The  greatest  Naval  Architects  of  the 
time  quarrelled  with  each  other.  Endless  inventions  were 
on  board  her,  accumulated  there  by  cranks  in  the  long 
years  she  took  building.  A  German  put  a  new  type  of 
gas  into  the  engine  room,  which  was  lovely,  and  no  smell, 
so  bright,  so  simple!  But  when  it  chanced  to  escape 
from  a  leaky  joint,  it  descended  and  did  not  rise,  so  it 
got  into  all  the  double  bottoms  and  nearly  polished  off  a 
goodly  number  of  the  crew.  There  were  whistles  in  my 
cabin  that  yelled  when  the  boiler  was  going  to  burst,  or 
the  ship  was  not  properly  steered,  and  so  on.  So  to  be 
Captain  of  the  "Inflexible"  was  much  sought  after.  As 
each  name  was  discussed  by  the  Board  of  Admiralty  it 
got  "butted,"  that  is  to  say,  it  would  be  remarked:  "Yes, 
he's  a  splendid  officer  and  quite  fit  for  it,  but —  '  and 
then  some  reason  was  adduced  why  he  should  not  be 
selected  (he  had  murdered  his  father,  or  he  had  kissed  the 
wrong  girl!)  Lord  Northbrook,  who  was  First  Lord,  got 
sick  of  these  interminable  discussions  as  to  who  should 
be  Captain  of  the  "Inflexible,"  so  he  unexpectedly  said 
one  morning:  "Do  any  of  you  know  a  young  Captain 
called  Fisher?"  And  they  all — having  no  notion  of  what 
was  in  Lord  Northbrook's  mind,  and  I  being  well  known 
to  each  of  them — had  no  "buts"!  So  he  got  up  and  said: 
"Well,  that  settles  it.  I'll  appoint  him  Captain  of  the 


APOLOGIA  PRO  VITA  SUA          159 

'Inflexible.' '  I  was  about  the  Junior  Captain  in  the  big- 
gest ship ! 

However,  the  "Inflexible"  brought  me  to  death's  door, 
as  I  was  suddenly  struck  down  by  dysentery  when  ashore 
in  charge  of  Alexandria  after  the  bombardment.  I  had 
arranged  an  armoured  train,  with  which  we  used  to 
reconnoitre  the  enemy,  who  were  in  great  strength  and 
only  a  few  miles  off.  The  Officer  who  took  my  place  in 
the  armoured  train  the  day  after  I  was  disabled  by  dysen- 
tery was  knocked  over  by  one  of  the  enemy  shells,  and 
so  it  was  telegraphed  home  that  I  was  killed,  and  Queen 
Victoria  telegraphed  back  for  details,  and  very  in- 
teresting leading  articles  appeared  as  to  what  I  might 
have  been  had  I  lived.  Lord  Northbrook  telegraphed  for 
me  to  be  sent  home  immediately,  kindly  adding  that  the 
Admiralty  could  build  another  "Inflexible"  but  not 
another  Fisher. 

As  I  was  being  carried  on  board,  in  a  brief  moment's 
consciousness  I  heard  the  Doctor  say  :  "He'll  never 
reach  Gibraltar!"  and  then  and  there  I  determined 
I  would  live.  When  I  got  home,  Lord  Northbrook  ap- 
pointed me  Head  of  the  Gunnery  School  of  the  Navy. 
Queen  Victoria  asked  me  to  stay  at  Osborne,  and  did  so 
every  year  till  she  died ;  and  this  in  spite  of  the  fact  that  she 
hated  the  Admiralty,  and  didn't  much  care  for  the  Navy. 

I  kept  on  being  ill  from  the  effects  of  the  dysentery 
for  a  long  time,  but  Lord  Northbrook  never  let  go  my 
hand.  When  all  the  doctors  failed  to  cure  me,  I  acciden- 
tally came  across  a  lovely  partner  I  used  to  waltz  with, 
who  begged  me  to  go  to  Marienbad,  in  Bohemia.  I  did 
so,  and  in  three  weeks  I  was  in  robust  health.  It  was 
the  Pool  of  Bethesda,  and  this  waltzing  angel  put  me  into 
it,  for  it  really  was  a  miracle,  and  I  never  again  had  a 
recurrence  of  my  illness. 


CHAPTER  XI 

NELSON 

LORD  ROSEBERY  may  have  forgotten  it,  but  in  one  of 
our  perigrinations  round  and  round  Berkeley  Square  (I 
lived  next  door  to  him)  he  made  a  remark  to  me  which 
made  a  deep  and  ineffaceable  impression  on  me — that  he 
felt  sure  one  of  the  great  reasons  of  Nelson  being  so  in  the 
hearts  of  his  countrymen  was  the  conviction  that  he  had 
been  slighted  by  Authority  and  even  so  -after  his  death. 
Unquestionably  his  brother  Admirals  were  envious.  He 
was  kept  kicking  his  heels  at  Merton  on  half  pay  in  mo- 
mentous times,  and  so  poor  as  to  necessitate  his  get- 
ting advances  from  his  Banker.  He  was  cavalierly 
treated  when  he  was  told  to  haul  down  his  flag  and  come 
home  after  the  Battle  of  the  Nile.  I  know  all  about  the 
Queen  of  Naples  and  Lady  Hamilton ;  but  what  was  that 
in  comparison  with  his  astounding  genius  for  war  and 
his  hold  on  the  Fleet?  And  I  want  to  draw  attention  to 
this  delightful  trait  in  his  glorious  character.  Supposing 
(what  I  don't  admit)  that  there  was  any  irregularity  in 
his  attachment  to  Lady  Hamilton,  he  never  disguised  his 
feeling  for  her,  or  his  gratitude  to  her  for  all  she  did  for 
his  grievously  wounded  and  frail  body  after  the  Nile 
and  her  splendid  conduct  in  getting  his  Fleet  revictualled 
and  stored  by  the  Neapolitans  through  her  influence  with 
the  King  and  Queen,  when  all  the  Authorities  were 
against  it.  He  used  to  ask  his  Captains  to  drink  her 
health,  and  said  (in  my  opinion  quite  truly),  that  if  there 
were  more  Emmas  there  would  be  more  Nelsons. 

1 60 


NELSON  161 

Then  look  at  the  Battle  of  the  Nile!  It  was  an 
incomparable  battle — but  it  only  made  Nelson  into  a 
Common  or  Garden  Lord;  when  the  Battle  of  Cape 
St.  Vincent,  which  was  practically  won  by  Nelson,  made 
Sir  John  Jervis  into  an  Earl.  History  is  so  written  that 
no  end  of  literary  gentlemen  will  endeavour  to  confute 
all  I  am  saying  by  extracts  (or,  as  they  will  call  them, 
facts)  from  Contemporary  Documents  and  Newspapers. 
Well  now,  to-day,  read  the  Morning  Post  and  Daily  News 
on  the  same  incident!  (For  myself  I  prefer  the  Daily 
News. )  Again,  Nelson  died  poor.  That  appeals.  What 
Prize  Money  might  he  not  have  accumulated,  had  he 
chased  dollars  as  he  chased  the  enemy!  Then  with  his 
dying  breath,  mortally  wounded  in  the  hour  of  the  greatest 
of  sea  victories,  he  asks  his  country  to  provide  for  his 
friend  as  he  could  do  nothing  for  her  himself;  and,  what- 
ever may  have  been  her  faults,  she  had  nursed  and  tended 
him,  not  only  when  sorely  wounded  after  the  Nile,  but 
afterwards  when  his  frail  body  was  almost  continuously 
racked  with  pain.  She  died  in  penury  and  found  a 
pauper's  grave  in  a  foreign  land.  A  passing  Englishman 
paid  her  funeral  expenses.  It  makes  one  rise  up  and  say 
"Damn!" 

That  vivid  immortal  spirit,  whose  life  was  his  coun- 
try's, who  never  flogged  a  man;  whose  heart  was  tender 
and  "worn  on  his  sleeve  for  daws  to  peck  at,"  has  to  suffer 
even  now  for  miscreants  who  published  his  letters  to  this 
friend  of  his  that  only  her  eye  was  meant  to  see.  Also, 
Prudes  nowadays  forget  how  very  different  was  the 
standard  of  morals  at  that  time.  Does  not  history  tell  us 
that  Dukes  were  the  honoured  results  of  illicit  relation- 
ships? And  we  don't  think  any  the  worse  of  Abraham 
because  he  was  the  husband  of  more  than  one  wife.  But 
let  that  pass.  I  heard  yesterday  that  a  distinguished  Bishop 


162  MEMORIES 

said  he  loved  my  sentiments  but  not  my  words.  But 
fancy!  Nelson  left  on  half-pay  in  War!  It's  unbeliev- 
able, but  yet  it  so  happened.  It  was  envy;  and  he  was  no 
sycophant,  so  he  couldn't  be  a  courtier.  It  was  so  with 
him  as  with  our  great  Exemplar:  "The  Common  People 
heard  him  'gladly."  And  what  a  "Send-off"  it  was  on 
Southsea  beach  at  Portsmouth  when  he  embarked  for 
Trafalgar!  What  a  scene  it  was,  with  these  Common 
People  surging  round  him — none  else  were  there,  and 
neither  the  King  nor  the  Admiralty  sent  a  dummy,  as  is 
customary,  to  represent  them.  But  isn't  it  always  the 
way?  General  Booth  and  Doctor  Barnardo  weren't  buried 
in  Westminster  Abbey;  but  they  had  a  more  glorious 
funeral — millions  of  the  "Common  People"  followed 
them  to  their  graves,  unmarshalled  and  unsolicited.  Give 
me  the  Common  People,  and  a  fig  for  your  State  cere- 
monial ! 

Perhaps  in  this  cursory  view  of  Nelson  one  may  be 
permitted  to  seize  on  what  appears  to  me  the  central  in- 
cident of  his  life,  which  so  peculiarly  illustrates  his  extra- 
ordinary genius  for  War.  His  audacity!  His  imagina- 
tion! His  considered  rashness!  I  think  myself  the  Battle 
of  the  Nile  is  that  incident — for  this  reason:  that  it  has 
been  recorded  in  writing  what  actually  occurred  to  Lord 
Nelson  and  to  the  French  Admiral  at  the  very  same  in- 
stant of  time — each  having  at  his  side  the  very  same  offi- 
cer in  each  Fleet.  It  was  sunset.  Nelson  was  walking 
the  deck  with  the  Navigating  Officer  of  the  Fleet — the 
"•Master  of  the  Fleet"  was  his  technical  title.  The  look- 
out man  at  the  mast-head  reports  seeing  on  the  horizon  the 
mast-heads  of  a  mass  of  ships  at  anchor — it  was  the 
French  fleet  in  Aboukir  Bay.  Nelson  instantly  stops  in 
his  walk  and  orders  the  signal  to  the  Fleet  to  make  all 
possible  sail  and  steer  for  the  enemy.  He  is  remon- 


NELSON  163 

strated  with,  both  by  his  own  officers  on  board  and  by  his 
favourite  Captain  of  the  Fleet  at  going  in  to  fight  the 
French  Fleet  without  any  charts.  If  he  waited  till  the 
sun  rose,  they  would  be  able  to  see  from  aloft  the  shoal 
water  and  so  steer  with  safety  alongside  the  enemy.  Nelson 
answers  his  favourite  Captain  that  if  that  Captain's  ship 
does  get  on  shore,  as  he  fears,  then  she'll  be  a  buoy  to  show 
him  where  anyhow  one  shoal  is.  Troubridge  did  get  on 
shore,  and  he  was  a  buoy.  Nelson  went  in.  The  French 
Admiral  blew  up  at  midnight  in  his  flagship  the  "Orient" 
and  Casabianca,  his  Captain,  and  his  son  are  the  theme 
of  a  great  poem:  "The  boy  stood  on  the  burning  deck." 

The  French  Admiral  was  walking  up  and  down  the 
deck  with  his  Master  of  the  Fleet,  when  his  look-out  man 
at  the  mast-head  reported  on  the  horizon  the  topmast 
sails  of  a  number  of  ships.  The  French  Admiral  stopped 
in  his  walk  as  abruptly  as  Nelson  and  at  the  very  same 
instant  that  Nelson  stopped  in  his  walk;  but  he  said  "It's 
the  English  Fleet,  but  they  won't  come  in  to-night.  They 
have  no  charts!"  So  he  did  not  recall  his  men  from  the 
shore — and  in  the  result  his  fleet  was  destroyed,  and  the 
one  or  two  ships  that  did  escape  under  Admiral  Dumanoir 
were  captured.  And  Napoleon  wrote,  "But  for  Nelson 
at  the  Nile  I  would  have  been  Conqueror  of  the  World" 
— or  words  to  that  effect.  And  yet  Nelson  was  only  made 
a  common  or  garden  Lord  for  this  great  battle,  and  spent 
two  years  on  the  Continent  kicking  his  heels  about  to  pass 
the  time  before  returning  to  England.  Imagine!  he 
wasn't  wanted!  I  think  Lord  Rosebery  was  right — 
Nelson  being  slighted  has  led  to  his  greater  appreciation. 

Again — even  a  greater  slight,  a  slight  he  feels  more — 
when  he  looks  down  from  his  monument  in  Trafalgar 
Square,  does  he  see  anywhere  those  splendid  Captains  of 
his?  But  let  alone  those  Captains  of  his — does  he  see 


164  MEMORIES 

anywhere  a  single  Admiral?  Not  one.  And  yet  who  made 
England  what  she  is?  Those  splendid  Sea  Heroes  are  in 
very  deed  "England's  forgotten  worthies" !  Yes !  Nelson 
looks  down  from  his  isolated  column,  and  looks  in  vain 
for  Hawke,  Dundonald,  Howe,  Hood,  Rodney,  Corn- 
wallis,  Benbow,  "and  a  great  multitude  which  no  man 
can  number" — all  Seamen  of  Deathless  Fame,  fighting 
single  frigate  actions,  cutting  out  the  enemy's  ships  from 
under  the  guns  of  forts,  sending  in  fire  ships  and  burn- 
ing the  enemy's  vessels  thought  to  be  safe  in  harbour  under 
the  guns  of  their  forts — Doers  of  Imperishable  Deeds !  * 
Death  found  them  fighting.  We  have  heaps  of  statues 
to  everybody  else.  Indeed  such  a  lot  of  them  that  they 
reach  down  as  far  off  as  Knightsbridge.  But  who  knows 
about  Quiberon — one  of  the  greatest  of  sea  fights?  And 
if  you  mention  Hawke,  your  friend  probably  thinks  only 
of  his  worthy  descendant — the  cricketer. 

An  old  woman  eating  a  penny  bun  asked  a  friend  of 
mine  called  Buggins,  when  she  was  passing  through  Tra- 
falgar Square,  "What  are  them  lions  a-guarding  of?" 
Buggins  told  her  that  her  penny  bun  would  have  cost  her 
threepence  if  it  hadn't  been  for  the  man  them  lions  were 
a-guarding  of. 

When  I  see  the  Duke  of  York's  Column  still  allowed 
to  rear  its  futile  head,  and  scores  of  other  fifth-rate  nonen- 
tities glorified  by  statues,  I  thank  God  I'm  a  sailor — we 
don't  want  to  be  in  that  galley! 

I  began  my  sea  life  with  the  last  of  Nelson's  Captains, 
through  Nelson's  own  niece;  and  I  fitly,  I  think,  among 
my  last  words  may  ask  the  Nation  to  do  justice  to  Nelson's 

1  There  are  statues  of  Franklin  and  of  Robert  Falconer  Scott  in  Waterloo 
Place;  but  neither  of  these  displayed  his  heroism  in  naval  action.  They  were 
each  peaceable  seekers — but  what  on  earth  good  accrues  from  going  to  the 
North  and  South  Poles  I  never  could  understand — no  one  is  going  there  when 
they  can  go  to  Monte  Carlo! 


NELSON  165 

Trade!  This  country  owes  all  she  has  to  the  sea,  it  was 
the  sea  that  won  the  late  war,  and  if  we'd  stuck  to  the 
sea  we  should  not  now  be  thinking  of  bankruptcy  and  some 
of  us  imagining  Carthage!  We  were  led  away  by  Mili- 
tarist folly  to  be  a  conscript  Nation  and  it  will  take  us  all 
we  know  to  recover  from  it.  We  shall  recover,  for  Eng- 
land never  succumbs! 


CHAPTER  XII 

LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHEB 

LORD  ESHER  has  kindly  sent  me  three  bulky  volumes 
of  letters  I  wrote  him  from  1903  onwards — I  have  others 
also.  Many  of  them  are  unquotable,  so  blasting  are  they 
in  their  truth  to  existing  reputations.  It's  not  my  busi- 
ness to  blast  reputations — so  the  real  gems  are  missing. 

Somebody  felt  in  1903  that  the  War  Office  was  wrong, 
and  so  a  Committee  was  set  up  with  Lord  Esher  as 
President,  Sir  George  Clarke  and  myself  the  other  two 
members;  and  that  very  able  and  not  sufficiently  recog- 
nised man,  now  General  Sir  C.  Ellison,  was  Secretary. 
How  I  got  there  is  still  a  mystery ;  but  it  was  a  great  en- 
joyment  as  Generals  came  to  stay  with  me  at  Admiralty 
House,  Portsmouth — I  was  the  Port  Admiral.  I  always 
explained  to  them  I  was  Lord  Esher's  facile  dupe  and 
Sir  George  Clarke's  servile  copyist,  and  thereby  avoided 
odium  personally  (I  was  getting  all  the  odium  I  wanted 
from  the  Admirals!) 

As  usual,  when  we  reported,  the  Government  didn't 
appreciate  those  inestimable  words  "Totus  Porous"  (No 
Government — anyhow  no  English  Government — ever 
yet  went  "the  whole  hog" — "Compromise"  is  the  British 
God!).1 

*In  the  following  selections,  words  between  square  brackets  are  not  part 
of  the  original  letters. 

166 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        167 

1903  [Sir  John  Fisher,  Commander-in-Chief  at 
Portsmouth] . 

.  .  .  My  humble  idea  is  that  ffmen  are  everything  and 
material  nothing"  whether  it's  working  the  War  Office  or 
fighting  a  fleet!  So  some  day  I  am  going  to  try  and  en- 
tice you  to  read  my  lectures  to  the  Officers  of  the  Mediter- 
ranean Fleet  because  the  spirit  intended  to  be  diffused  by 
them  is  what  I  think  is  the  one  great  want  in  the  British 
Army,  and  without  it  50,000  Lord  Eshers  would  be  no 
good  in  producing  "Angel  Gabriel"  organisations!  The 
Military  system  is  rotten  to  the  very  core!  You  want  to 
begin  ab  ovo!  The  best  of  the  Generals  are  even  worse 
than  the  subalterns  because  they  are  more  hardened  sin- 
ners !  I  fear  I  shocked  Ellison,  but  he  is  simply  first  class 
and  I  most  heartily  congratulate  you  on  your  selection. 
...  I  really  begin  to  feel  I  never  ought  to  have  joined 
you,  as  I  have  some  very  big  jobs  on  now  which  require 
incessant  personal  attention  and  this  must  be  my  excuse 
for  not  coming  up  to  see  Girouard  this  week.  I  have  the 
new  Civil  Lord  staying  with  me  and  I  have  got  to  pre- 
vent him  joining  with  a  lot  of  asses  at  the  Admiralty,  who 
want  to  throw  half  a  million  of  money  in  the  gutter. 

Nov.  IQth,  1908. 

On  my  return  I  found  the  first  proofs  of  your  three 
papers.  I  have  studied  them  with  close  care  and  interest. 
There  are  some  points  of  detail  which  puzzle  me,  but  it 
seems  you  are  absolutely  convincing  on  the  main  lines. 
What  I  venture  to  emphasise  in  this : — We  cannot  reform 
the  Army  Administration  until  it  is  laid  down  what  it  is 
the  Administration  is  going  to  Administer!  For  instance, 
the  Citizen  Army  for  Home  Defence!  Are  we  going  to 
have  it?  If  so,  then  you  will  certainly  want  a  Member  of 
the  Board  or  Council  to  superintend  it!  Again,  I  say, 
the  Regular  Army  (as  distinguished  from  the  Home 
Army  and  the  Indian  Army)  should  be  regarded  as  a  pro- 
jectile to  be  fired  by  the  Navy!  The  Navy  embarks  it  and 


1 68  MEMORIES 

lands  it  where  it  can  do  most  mischief! — Thus,  the  .Ger- 
mans are  ready  to  land  a  large  Military  Force  on  the 
Cotentin  Peninsula  in  case  of  War  with  France  and  my 
German  Military  Colleague  at  the  Hague  Conference  told 
me  this  comparatively  small  Military  Force  would  have 
the  effect  of  demobilising  half  a  million  of  men  who  would 
thus  be  taken  away  from  the  German  Frontier — they 
never  know  where  the  devil  the  brutes  are  going  to  land! 
Consequently  instead  of  our  Military  Manoeuvres  being 
on  Salisbury  Plain  and  its  vicinity  (ineffectually  aping 
the  vast  Continental  Armies!)  we  should  be  employing 
ourselves  in  joint  Naval  and  Military  Manoeuvres  em- 
barking 50,000  men  at  Portsmouth  and  landing  them  at 
Milford  Haven  or  Bantry  Bay! — This  would  make  the 
Foreigners  sit  up!  Fancy!  in  the  Mediterranean  Fleet 
we  disembarked  12,000  men  with  guns  in  19  minutes! 
What  do  you  think  of  that!  and  we  should  hurry  up  the 
soldiers!  No  doubt  there  would  be  good-natured  chaff! 
Once  we  embarked  7,000  soldiers  at  Malta  and  took  them 
round  and  landed  them  elsewhere  for  practice,  and  I  re- 
member having  a  complaint  that  the  Bluejackets  said 
"Come  on,  you  bloody  lobsters!  Wake  up!"  However, 
all  the  above  en  passant.  I  expect  the  Prime  Minister 
must  have  pretty  good  ideas  now  crystallised  as  to  how 
the  Army  should  be  constituted — let  us  ask  him  for  this 
at  once — if  he  hasn't  got  it,  let  us  tell  him  we  must  have 
it,  because  as  I  said  at  starting,  you  can't  organise  an  ad- 
ministration without  clearly  knowing  what  you  are  going 
to  administer.  This  is  a  hasty  bit  of  writing  but  not  a 
hasty  thought. 

1908. 
Nov.  25th. 

I  send  you  two  books — a  more  portly  volume  I  hesitate 
to  send! — Also  I  fear  without  some  verbal  explanation 
you  may  not  see  the  application  to  Military  matters  of 
these  purely  Naval  Notes,  but  they  do  apply  in  the  spirit 
if  not  in  the  letter!  For  instance  I  had  an  overwhelming 
confidence  that  every  Officer  and  man  in  the  Mediter- 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        169 

ranean  Fleet  had  also  an  overwhelming  confidence  that 
we  thoroughly  knew  all  we  had  to  do  in  case  of  war  in 
every  conceivable  eventuality!  Well!  that  is  the  confi- 
dence you  also  want  in  an  Army!  Have  you  got  it! 


Dec. 

Here  is  a  letter  just  come  from  Prince  Louis  of  Bat- 
tenherg  illustrating  what  I  was  saying  to  you  this  morning 
as  to  a  Member  of  the  Board  of  Admiralty  however 
junior  in  rank  being  accepted  as  a  superior  controlling 
authority  by  all  in  rank  above  him.  Ail  Officer  actually 
at  the  moment  serving  under  Prince  Louis  in  the  Admir- 
alty itself  being  put  over  Prince  Louis  in  the  Admiralty 
itself,  and  sending  for  him  and  giving  him  orders!  I 
don't  know  that  it  would  be  possible  to  have  a  stronger 
case  to  quote  when  by  and  by  we  have  to  defend  or  rather 
have  to  lay  down  and  define  the  status  of  the  Members 
of  the  New  War  Office  Board.  Inglefield,  the  new  Naval 
Lord,  being  a  Junior  Captain,  will  be  sending  for  Ad- 
miral Boys,  Director  of  Transports,  who  is  specially  un- 
der him  and  who  I  rather  think  entered  the  service  before 
Inglefield  was  born. 

Dec.  4i&. 

....  You  are  right  about  the  Submarines! 

"We  strain  at  the  gnat  of  perfection  and  swallow  the 
camel  of  unreadiness*3  and  that  permeates  every  branch 
of  Naval  and  Military  Administration,  forgetting  the 
homely  proverb  that  "half  a  loaf  is  better  than  no  bread!" 
but  please  God!  "the  dauntless  three"  [Sir  Geo.  Clarke, 
Lord  Esher  and  Sir  John  Fisher]  (as  I  see  we  are  now 
called)  will  change  all  that!  "We'll  stagger  humanity" 
as  old  Kruger  said! 

Dec.  7th. 

Arnold-Forster  [Secretary  for  War]  has  been  here 
three  days  and  he  is  most  cordially  with  us.  I  wish  you 
had  been  here  with  him.  He  places  implicit  trust  in  us. 


170  MEMORIES 

He  has  shown  me  an  outline  of  an  excellent  memorandum 
proposing  an  immediate  reduction  of  300,000  men  and 
he  will  let  me  have  a  copy  as  soon  as  printed,  also  a  memo- 
randum of  his  difficulties  in  the  War  Office.  .  .  .  This  is 
another  proof  of  the  value  of  the  advice  of  my  Military 
Nicodemus  (he  is  one  of  the  Sanhedrin!)  that  there  must 
be  an  active  "clear-out"  of  the  present  military  gang,  root 
and  branch,  lock,  stock,  and  gunbarrel !  Sir  John  French 
and  General  Smith-Dorrien  (lately  Adjutant-General  in 
India)  are  names  I  have  suggested  to  Arnold-Forster  as 
members  of  his  new  Board. 

Dec.  llth. 

....  Don't  forget  your  phrase  "the  biennial  fort- 
nightly picnic"!  it's  splendid!  That  will  fetch  the  mothers 
of  families  and  reconcile  them  to  the  Swiss  system!  I 
hope  you  won't  lose  any  time  in  talking  to  the  Prime 
Minister  and  showing  him  the  immense  advantages  that 
will  accrue  from  his  turning  over  further  matters  to  us 
instead  of  dear  Arnold-Forster  "raising  Cain"  as  he  surely 
will  do!  It  would  be  so  easy  to  associate  Sir  John  French, 
Hildyard  and  Smith-Dorrien  (very  curious  that  all  these 
three  Generals  were  first  in  the  Navy  and  got  their  early 
education  there)  with  us  for  the  further  matters. 

Dec.  17th. 

Another  Military  Nicodemus  came  to  see  me  yester- 
day. I  had  never  met  him  before!  He  occupies  a  high 
official  position.  He  highly  approved  of  you  and  me,  "but 
he  had  never  heard  of  the  third  member  of  the  Committee. 
What  a  pity  they  had  not  put  a  soldier  on  the  Commit- 
tee!" (How  these  Christians  hate  one  another!)  But  the 
point  of  his  remarks  was  the  present  system  of  Army  Pro- 
motions, which  he  said  was  as  iniquitous  and  baleful  in 
its  influence  as  could  be  possibly  conceived,  and  then  he 
illustrated  by  cases  of  certain  officers  made  Generals.  My 
only  object  in  writing  this  to  you  is  Selborne  having 
spoken  of  the  Admiralty  method  where  the  first  Lord  has 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        171 

the  Naval  Members  of  the  Board  in  consultation,  but  he 
and  his  Private  Secretary  (who  is  always  a  Naval  Officer 
of  note)  have  the  real  responsibility. 

Dec.  20th. 

is  and  always  has  been  drastic  in  his  ideas  of 

military  reform,  and  I  cordially  agree  with  him  and  Stead 
agrees  with  me  that  the  British  Public  loves  a  root  and 
branch  reform.  One  remnant  left  of  the  old  gang  or  the 
organisations  and  you  taint  the  whole  new  scheme  1 

Don't  fear  about  Arnold-Forster.  He  will  come  with 
us  all  right — you  are  absolutely  sound  on  the  Patronage 
question,  but  I  would  have  the  soldiers  precisely  on  the 
same  footing  as  Tyrwhitt  at  the  Admiralty  [Private  Sec- 
retary. He  was  my  Flag  Captain]  for  detailed  reasons 
I  will  give  you  when  we  meet.  It  is  an  ideal  arrange- 
ment (the  Private  Secretary  at  Admiralty).  He  has  the 
power,  he  pulls  the  strings,  he  has  no  position,  he  causes 
no  jealousy,  he  talks  to  all  the  Lords  as  their  servant, 
and  he  manipulates  them  all  and  oils  the  machine  for  his 
special  master,  the  First  Lord,  to  perpetrate  a  job  when 
necessary!  Make  him  a  big-wig  like  an  Official  Military 
Secretary,  and  all  this  goes — he  becomes  too  big  for  his 
boots ! 

Dec.  21st. 

.  .  .  I've  been  bombarded  by  Stead.  I  tried  to  boom 
him  off  but  the  scoundrel  said  if  I  didn't  see  him,  he  would 
have  to  invent !  I  pointed  out  to  him  my  metier  was  that 
of  the  mole !  Trace  me  by  upheavals !  When  you  see  the 
Admirals  rise  it's  that  d — d  fellow  Jack  Fisher  taking 
the  rise  out  of  them!  So  I  implored  Stead  to  keep  me  out 
of  the  Magazine  Rifle  [this  was  my  name  for  The  Review 
of  Reviews]  or  he  will  interfere  with  my  professional 
career  of  crime.  So  please  use  your  influence  with  him 
in  the  same  direction.  You  and  Clarke  are  the  two  legiti- 
mate members  of  the  Committee  to  be  trotted  out,  as  you 
are  both  so  well  known.  No  sailor  is  ever  known.  The 


172  MEMORIES 

King  was  awfully  good  about  this.  He  said  "Sailors  went 
all  round  the  world  but  never  went  in  it"!  Stead  is  a 
very  keen  observer,  as  you  know.  He  said  our  Committee 
could  do  anything,  and  that  neither  the  Press  nor  Parlia- 
ment nor  the  Public  would  tolerate  any  Military  opposi- 
tion to  us  because  the  whole  Military  hierarchy  was  utterly 
discredited  from  top  to  bottom ;  but  he  doubted  The  Times 
— I  don't.  Further  he  expressed  his  firm  belief  there 
would  be  a  change  of  Government  possibly  at  Easter  but 
certainly  soon — if  so  we  ought  on  that  ground  alone  to 
"dig  out"  with  our  Report. 

1903. 
(No  date.) 

Knollys  was  very  much  impressed  by  the  possibilities 
of  the  Submarine  when  he  was  down  here.  He  saw  them 
to  better  advantage  than  you  did,  as  it  was  blowing  half 
a  gale  of  wind  with  a  good  sea  on  when  he  saw  the  evolu- 
tionising!  and  it  was  very  striking.  I  am  working  sub- 
terraneously  about  the  Submarines  and  there  are  already 
"upheavals"  in  consequence. 

1904. 
Jan  5th. 

...  I  yesterday  sent  all  my  plans  to  French  for  em- 
barking the  whole  of  his  First  Army  Corps  on  Monday, 
June  27th  (Full  Moon)  at  Portsmouth,  and  he  is  coming 
here  with  his  Chief  Staff  Officer,  Sir  F.  Stopford,  next 
week,  and  we'll  land  him  like  Hoche's  Army  in  Bantry 
Bay!  [Sir  John  French  commanded  at  Aldershot.  The 
War  Office  stopped  this.} 

1904. 

Jan  17th. 

....  For  the  reason  I  have  given  you  at  length  in 
another  letter  I  am  convinced  that  French  should  be 
1st  Military  Member  and  under  him  there  should  be 
8  Directors  (not  Hieroglyphics  such  as  A.Q.M.G., 
D.A.Q.M.G.,  A.Q.M.G.  2,  etc.,  etc.). 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER         173 

Sir  F.  Stopford — Director  of  Intelligence  and  Mobi- 
lisation. 

Gen.  Grierson — Director  of  Training. 
Gen.  Maxwell — Director  of  Home  Defence. 

Also  I  still  maintain  that  Smith-Dorrien  and  Plumer 
should  be  the  2nd  and  3rd  Military  Members,  and  perhaps 
one  young  distinguished  Indian  Officer  as  4th  Military 
Lord.  Haig,  Inspector-General  of  Cavalry  in  India, 
should  be  brought  home  as  the  principal  Director  under 
2nd  Military  Lord.  We  must  have  youth  and  enthusiasm, 
because  it  is  only  by  the  agency  of  young  and  enthusiastic 
believers  in  the  immense  revolution  which  must  be  carried 
out,  that  our  scheme  can  bear  fruit.  The  first  thing  of 
all  is  that  every  one  of  the  "old  gang"  must  be  cleared 
out!  "lock,  stock,  and  gunbarrel,  bob  and  sinker!"  The 
next  is  that  every  one  of  the  new  men  must  be  successful 
'men,  and  must  be  young  and  enthusiastic  and  cordial 
supporters  of  the  new  policy — over  every  fellow's  door  at 
the  War  Office  under  the  new  regime  has  got  to  be  written 
in  large  letters: — 

"No  looking  back.    Remember  Lot's  wife!" 

1904. 
(No  date.) 

The  next  pressing  and  important  matter  we  have  to 
deal  with  is  to  get  the  right  men  as  Members  of  the  new 
Army  Council.  Either  you  or  Clarke  have  made  a  splen- 
did observation  that  a  rotten  system  may  be  run  effectively 
by  good  men  but  duffers  would  spoil  the  work  of  the 
Angel  Gabriel!  .  .  .  If  we  don't  get  in  men  who  will 
enthusiastically  adopt  our  scheme  and  work  with  us,  LET 
us  THROW  UP  AT  ONCE  !  as  we  shall  only  have  an  awful 
fiasco  and  I  (for  one)  don't  want  to  go  down  with  my 
grey  hairs  to  the  grave  sorrowing  and  discredited !  There- 
fore I  suggest  to  you  that  we  should  agree  on  our  men  and 
run  them  at  once!  Like  fighting  the  French  Fleet!  it's 
half  the  battle  gained  to  take  the  offensive,  propose  our 
men,  give  their  advantages  and  ask  them  (our  enemies) 


174  MEMORIES 

what  they  have  to  say  against  them  and  suggest  every 
beastly  thing  we  can  against  any  likely  competitors — Se- 
lection by  Disparagement!  I  put  forward  names  in  en- 
closed paper  simply  as  a  basis. 

1st  Military  Member — Sir  John  French,  because  he 
never  failed  in  Africa  (the  grave  of  Military  Reputa- 
tions). He  is  young  and  energetic,  has  commanded  the 
1st  Army  Corps  so  far  with  conspicuous  success  and  has 
the  splendid  gift  of  choosing  the  right  men  to  work  with 
him  (vide  his  Staff  in  S.  Africa,  the  best  Staff  out  there) 
and  as  1st  Military  Lord  it  would  be  his  special  function 
to  prepare  the  Army  in  the  Field  for  fighting,  and  who 
therefore  better  to  command  it  when  war  breaks  out.  as 
his  functions  then  at  the  War  Office  would  disappear  and 
be  transferred  to  the  Commander-in-Chief  at  the  seat  of 
war — Further,  he  is  an  enthusiastic  and  out-and-out  be- 
liever in  joint  Naval  and  Military  operations  as  the  proper 
species  of  manoeuvres  for  this  Nation.  In  this  belief  he 
is  almost  solitary  amongst  all  the  Generals,  who  all  want 
to  play  at  the  German  Army.  "Plump  for  French  and 
Efficiency!"  Any  vote  given  against  French  is  a  vote 
given  for  Kelly-Kenny  instead! 

2nd  Military  Member. — Smith-Dorrien.  Has  been 
with  great  success  in  every  campaign  for  the  last  20  years, 
has  been  Adjutant-General  in  India  (a  much  bigger  billet 
than  Adjutant-General  in  London!).  He  is  young  and 
energetic  and  is  an  .extremely  conciliatory  and  accom- 
plished gentleman  and  would  work  the  personnel  of  the 
Army  (which  would  be  his  chief  function  as  the  Second 
Military  Member)  far  better  than  some  "safe"  old  man 
because  he  is  in  touch  with  the  young  generation.  He 
took  a  Marine  Officer  of  the  Mediterranean  Fleet  as  his 
A.D.C.  when  appointed  a  Brigadier  in  South  Africa,  be- 
cause he  considered  him  the  ablest  young  officer  in  the 
Malta  Garrison !  Utterly  shocking  all  the  Military  Man- 
darins. "Vote  for  Smith-Dorrien  and  Progress!" 

"Every  vote  given  against  Smith-Dorrien  is  a  vote  for 
[A  lady  who  then  "ran"  the  War  Office!] 

3rd  Military  Member.     Supplies  and  Transport. — 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER        175 

General  Plumer.  The  only  man  besides  French  that  never 
failed  in  anything  he  undertook  in  Africa!  They  say  he 
has  "the  luck  of  the  Devil,"  but  the  fact  is  that  "the  luck 
of  the  Devil"  is  wholly  attributable  to  a  minute  attention 
to  anything  that  will  ensure  the  success  of  his  (Satanic 
Majesty's)  designs,  and  he  leaves  nothing  to  chance! 
Such  is  Plumer!  He  also  is  young,  energetic  and  en- 
thusiastic. 

"Vote  for  Plumer  and  a  full  belly!3' 

"Every  vote  given  against  Plumer  is  a  vote  given  for 
paper  boots  and  no  ammunition!" 

4th  Military  Member — General  F.  G.  Slade,  now  In- 
spector General  of  Garrison  Artillery — has  served  in  six 
campaigns  and  always  come  out  top:  has  been  in  the 
Horse,  Field  and  Garrison  Artillery  and  commanded  at 
Gibraltar.  He  is  young  and  energetic  and  enthusiastic 
and  will  blow  the  trumpet  of  the  Board  (as  well  as  his 
own!) . 

Vote  for  Slade  and  hitting  the  Target!" 

"Every  vote  given  against  Slade  will  be  a  vote  given 
in  favour  of  some  d — d  old  woman"  .  .  . 

1904. 
Jan.  31st. 

Post  Office  Telegraphs.  Government  Despatch 
No.  .  .  .  "Await  Arrival." 

Lord  Esher     Windsor  Castle. 

In  reply  to  your  telegram  just  received  our  committee 
manoeuvres  commenced  at  Portsmouth  on  December  30 
beating  Moses  by  nine  days  as  he  took  40  days  before  he 
got  down  from  the  Mount  with  his  report  but  if  you  refer 
to  submarine  manoeuvres  I  have  last  night  put  them  off 
to  February  twenty  third  to  last  three  weeks  from  that 
date  stop  I  see  we  are  accused  of  not  giving  credit  to  the 
good  motives  that  have  always  actuated  the  War  Office 
stop  Why  is  the  War  Office  like  hell  answer  because  it 
is  paved  with  good  intentions  Sir  John  Fisher  Ports- 
mouth. 

[Not  bad  for  an  official  telegram!] 


i?6  MEMORIES 

1904. 
Feb.  1ft. 

...  I  really  think  it  is  of  extreme  importance  that 
you  should  be  on  the  spot  daily  just  now,  as  without 
doubt  "wire-pulling"  of  the  "Eve"  order  will  be  going 
on.  When  the  other  day  I  met  those  three  ladies  on  the 
back  stairs  of  the  War  Office  all  in  picture  hats  and  smell- 
ing of  White  Rose  or  some  other  beastly  thing,  I  thought 
to  myself  "How  about  Capua?"  for  really  they  were  very 
nice  looking  indeed.  You  know  the  story  about  them 
having  the  entree  to  the  War  Office! 

1904. 
Feb.  28th. 

Best  of  Chairmen!  Snatch  a  moment  to  look  through 
enclosed  ...  as  I  am  dead  gone  on  starting  the  idea  of 
a  general  list  of  officers,  and  general  uniform  and  early 
entry  and  they  will  all  go  to  sea,  but  I  don't  want  to 
mention  that  yet  awhile ;  it  will  come  of  itself  when  3/5 ths 
of  every  man-of-war's  crew  are  soldiers;  that's  not  many 
years  hence  and  will  bring  the  income  tax  down  to  3  pence 
in  the  pound!  Mark  my  words!  this  will  come,  but  it's 
no  use  giving  people  premature  shocks,  so  let  me  keep  it 
quiet  now.  My  idea  is  to  acclimatise  the  chosen  few  to 
it  first  of  all  and  then  gradually  spread  it  about,  and  when 
Kitchener  comes  home  he  will  see  it  through.  ( He  shares 
my  view,  I  know.) 

1904. 

(?)  March. 

.  .  .  Campbell-Bannerman  told  me  last  night  he  in- 
tended to  make  a  special  point  of  the  Secretary  of  State's 
responsibility  and  power  being  unduly  lessened,  and  he 
would  not  admit  that  the  new  order  of  things  makes  him 
the  same  as  the  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty!  .  .  .  To 
avoid  the  slightest  misconception  that  may  arise  as  to  the 
lessening  of  tne  parliamentary  responsibility  of  the  Secre- 
tary of  State  for  War  by  the  formation  of  the  Army 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        177 

Council  or  of  his  supreme  authority  as  the  Cabinet  Min- 
ister responsible  for  the  Army,  it's  only  necessary  to  reit- 
erate and  emphasise  the  statement  that  he  is  absolutely 
in  the  same  position  as  the  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty, 
the  patent  constituting  the  Army  Council  being  abso- 
lutely similar  to  the  Admiralty  Patent  and  no  question 
has  ever  been  raised  nor  is  there  any  doubt  whatever  of 
the  reform  and  present  responsibility  of  the  First  Lord 
of  the  Admiralty  as  the  Cabinet  Minister  responsible  for 
the  Navy. 

1904. 
March  10th. 

Just  back  from  the  English  Channel  with  the  Subma- 
rines and  am  very  enthusiastic!  .  .  .  We  really  must 
arrange  to  get  the  British  Army  to  Sea  somehow  or  other! 
Yesterday  all  the  mice  died  in  their  cages  and  two  of  the 
crew  fainted,  but  the  young  Lieutenant  of  the  Submarine 
didn't  seem  to  care  a  d — n  whether  they  all  died  so  long 
as  he  bagged  the  Battleship  he  was  after,  and  he  prac- 
tically got  her  and  then  he  came  up  in  his  Submarine  to 
breathe!  Depend  on  it  we  shall  have  more  "Niles"  and 
"Trafalgars"  so  long  as  we  continue  to  propagate  such 
"young  bloods"  as  this!  But  see  how  splendid  if  we  could 
shove  the  same  "ginger"  into  the  young  Military  aspirants, 
and  they  all  came  from  the  same  schools!  but  the  whole 
secret  is  to  catch  them  very  young  and  mould  them  while 
they  are  then  so  plastic  and  receptive  to  be  just  what 
you  want  them.  Another  submarine  had  an  explosion 
which  made  the  interior  "Hell"  for  some  seconds  (as  the 
Submarine  was  bottled  up  and  diving  to  evade  a  De- 
stroyer who  had  caught  her  with  a  hook),  but  the  Sub- 
marine Lieutenant  saw  them  all  d — d  first  before  he  would 
rise  up  and  be  caught.  Another  young  fire-eater  had  his 
periscope  smashed  but  bagged  a  battleship  nevertheless 
by  coming  up  stealthily  to  blow  just  like  a  beaver,  and 
look  round.  It  really  is  all  lovely!  but  what  I  am  writing 
about  is — you  must  embark  an  Army  Corps  every  year 
and  give  them  sea  training. 


178  MEMORIES 

["THE  ARMY  AND  NAVY  CO-OPERATIVE  SOCIETY." 

I  must  here  interpose  a  few  words  to  explain  that  I 
had  submitted  an  elaborate  method  of  increasing  the 
military  efficiency  of  officers — first  by  very  early  entry 
as  in  the  Navy — having  free  or  State  education  for  them 
—hence  "Equal  opportunity  for  all":  Officers'  pay  of 
all  ranks  to  be  sufficient  for  them  to  live  on — and  the  regi- 
mental system  abolished — and  the  same  system  as  in  the 
Navy  by  which  military  officers  would  serve  in  all  arms — 
Engineers,  Artillery,  Cavalry  and  Infantry,  instead  of 
being  familiar  with  but  one  part  of  their  profession.  When 
the  Sea  Lords  sit  round  the  Board  of  Admiralty  they  can 
talk  about  anything,  because  they've  been  in  every  type  of 
vessel  and  every  branch  of  their  Profession.  Again,  in 
a  good  regiment  the  promotion  is  slow  because  the  officers 
stick  to  it.  In  a  bad  regiment  the  promotion  is  rapid  be- 
cause everyone  wants  to  leave  it.  Then,  finally,  I  sub- 
mitted the  idea  of  the  Army  and  Navy  being  incorporated 
in  one  great  Service.  There  is  no  going  aloft  now — a> 
ship  can  be  manned  by  soldiers  with  equal  efficiency  as  by 
sailors.  You  want  nucleus  crews  thoroughly  used  to  the 
ship  and  always  in  her,  knowing  all  her  foibles.  Brains 
— the  Beef  needn't  be  equally  clever!  The  military  offi- 
cers in  the  Peninsular  War  only  16  years  old  were  splen- 
did and  they  were  numerous.] 

1904. 

March  20th.     Telegram. 

Suggest  if  Prime  Minister  takes  no  immediate  action 
he  may  be  asked  that  the  Committee  in  self-defence  be 
allowed  to  make  correspondence  public,  as  already  I  am 
hearing  from  influential  friends  that  we  are  discredited 
by  having  made  exaggerated  and  unjustifiable  statements 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER         179 

and  that  besides  the  scandalous  and  disparaging  words  of 
the  Secretary  of  State  in  the  House  of  Commons  that  the 
Prime  Minister  has  more  or  less  disavowed  us  by  the 
tenour  of  his  remarks.  ...  I  venture  to  suggest  to  you 
that  it  is  a  great  mistake  for  our  Committee  to  be  made 
a  catspaw  to  suit  Cabinet  susceptibilities  or  parliamentary 
wirepulling  and  that  we  press  for  a  full  and  complete 
publication. 

1904. 
May  26th. 

.  .  .  Arnold-Forster  spent  several  hours  here  with 
me  yesterday  and  he  is  coming  again  to-day  discussing 
his  difficulties.  I  tell  him  he  can't  expect  his  Council  all 
at  once  to  possess  the  attributes  of  the  Board  of  Admiralty 
(which  he  so  intensely  admires)  which  began  in  1619! 
They  want  to  be  educated.  The  individual  Members  are 
far  too  subservient  now  and  do  not  realise  they  are  ad- 
ministrative members  and  not  Army  Officers.  They  must 
go  about  in  plain  clothes  and  a  tall  hat,  and  order  Field 
Marshals  about  like  schoolboys !  .  .  . 

1904. 
June  17th. 

...  It  would  have  been  simply  disastrous  to  have  had 
an  increased  Army  Vote.  Has  Clarke  ever  come  to  close 
quarters  with  you  as  to  his  project  for  getting  the  Army 
Estimates  down  to  23  millions?  for  that  is  really  the  figure 
which  represents  the  proportionate  part  of  the  total  sum 
which  I  make  out  to  be  available  for  the  fighting  services, 
and  unless  some  such  figure  can  be  arrived  at  for  the 
Army,  I  do  not  think  the  British  Public  will  face  the  re- 
duction in  the  Navy  Estimates  which  I  see  to  be  possible 
with  the  increased  efficiency;  because  they  will  rightly 
argue  that  the  Navy  is  the  1st,  2nd,  3rd,  4th  ad  infinitum 
line  of  defence,  and  it  is  simply  monstrous  therefore  that 
the  bloated  Army  should  starve  the  essential  Navy.  .  .  . 
It  is  this  Army  Vote  that  absolutely  blocks  me,  because 
I  am  perfectly  certain  it  will  wreck  us  unless  it  can  be 


i8o  MEMORIES 

brought  down  to  some  such  figure  as  23  millions  at  the 
outside.  That  N.-W.  Frontier  of  India  is  the  bug-bear 
which  has  possessed  the  whole  lot  of  our  present  rulers! 
and  there  is  no  "advocate  of  the  devil"  to  plead  the  other 
side.  So  I  hope  you  will  put  that  mind  of  yours  to  work 
to  make  the  Prime  Minister  see  his  mission  to  cut  down 
the  Army  Vote  to  23  millions  and  then  we  can  go  ahead 
and  get  that  threepenny  income  tax  we  all  so  long  for  and 
which  we  can  get  if  we  like! 

1904. 

I  was  with  the  Prime  Minister  from  12.30  to  4  p.m. 
He  was  most  pleasant  and  delightful  but  evidently  didn't 
see  his  way  to  making  the  reduction  in  the  Army  Vote 
which  is  imperative.  .  .  .  He  and  all  the  rest  appear 
stupefied  by  the  Indian  Frontier  Bogey  and  the  100,000 
men  wanted.  I  gave  him  figures  to  show  the  Army  had 
been  increased  60,000  odd  men  in  10  years.  If  he  would 
reduce  them  at  once  he  would  get  nearly  threepence  off 
the  income  tax  and  get  rid  of  his  recruiting  difficulties. 
The  Auxiliary  Forces  4%  millions — absurd — the  Volun- 
teers 2  millions — still  more  absurd! 

1904. 
July  16th. 

A.-F/s  scheme  rotten!  You  have  hit  the  nail  on  the 
head  about  expense.  He  had  the  remedy  in  the  palm  of 
his  hand!  He  simply  had  to  reduce  what  the  Army  had 
unnecessarily  increased  in  10  years — the  60,000  officers 
and  men — and  he  got  6  millions  sterling  (including  the 
accessories)  and  solved  the  recruiting  question!  .  .  . 
3,700  Royal  Engineers  put  on  in  10  years  and  only  1/3 
of  them  went  to  the  war  in  S.A.!  the  rest  enjoying  them- 
selves in  civilian  work !  and  was  there  ever  such  ineptitude 
as  trying  to  make  them  into  railway  men,  electric  engi- 
neers and  sailors  for  submarine  mines  when  you  have  the 
real  thing  in  abundance  in  the  railway  and  telegraph  work- 
men of  the  country  and  fishermen  for  any  water  work? 
This  is  only  one  sample.  Every  blessed  item  of  the  mili- 


LETTERS   TO  LORD   ESHER         181 

tary  organisation  is  similarly  rotten!     Why?     Because 
the  military  system  of  entry  and  education  is  rotten. 


1904. 
July  28th. 

.  .  .  We  have  a  new  scheme  for  a  reorganisation  of 
the  whole  Admiralty  and  have  got  the  Order  in  Council 
for  it !  The  new  scheme  gives  the  First  Sea  Lord  nothing 
to  do,  except  think  and  send  for  Idlers!  It  also  resusci- 
tates the  old  titles  of  Sea  Lords  dating  from  A.D.  1613, 
but  which  some  silly  ass  100  years  ago  altered  to  Naval 
Lords. 


1904. 
August  Ifth. 

...  I  have  got  60  sheets  of  foolscap  written  with  all 
the  new  Naval  proposals  and  am  pretty  well  prepared  for 
the  fray  on  October  21st. 

[Sir  John  Fisher  became  First  Sea  Lord  of  the  Admir- 
alty on  October  21st  (Trafalgar  Day),  1904;  and  the 
correspondence  is  scanty  between  that  date  and  the 
autumn  of  1907.] 


1907. 

Sept. 

...  I  really  can't  understand  Mr.  Buckle  giving 

his  head  in  this  way  in  the  columns  of  The  Times!  but  I 
suppose  it  "catches  on"  and  makes  the  flesh  creep  of  the 
"old  women  of  both  sexes3'  (as  Lord  St.  Vincent  called 
the  "Invasion  lot"  in  his  day!)  and  his  memorable  saying 
so  infinitely  more  true  now  than  then.  When  asked  his 
opinion  of  the  possibility  of  an  invasion,  he  replied  "that 
if  considered  as  a  purely  military  operation  he  was  loth 
to  offer  an  opinion  but  he  certainly  could  positively  state 
it  could  never  take  place  by  sea!" 


1 82  MEMORIES 

1907. 

Oct.  1th.  MOLVENO. 

.  .  .  My  unalterable  conviction  is  that  the  Committee 
of  Imperial  Defence  is  tending  rapidly  to  become  a  sort 
of  Aulic  Council  and  the  man  who  talks  glibly,  utterly 
irresponsible,  will  usurp  the  functions. of  the  two  men 
who  must  be  the  "Masters  of  the  War" — The  First  Sea 
Lord  and  the  Chief  of  the  General  Staff.  Make  no  mis- 
take— I  don't  mean  those  two  men  are  to  be  Dictators, 
but  the  Government  says :  "Do  so  and  so  I"  These  are  the 
two  executive  Officers.  ...  In  regard  to  the  "Invasion 
Bogey"  about  which  I  am  now  writing  to  you,  how  curi- 
ous it  is  that  from  the  German  Emperor  downwards  their 
hearts  were  stricken  with  fear  that  we  were  going  to  at- 
tack them.  .  .  .  Here  is  an  interview  between  Beit  and 
the  German  Emperor  given  me  at  first  hand,  immediately 
on  Beit's  return  from  Berlin. 

Beit:  "Your  Majesty  is  very  greatly  mistaken  in 
supposing  that  any  feeling  exists  in  England  for  war  with 
Germany.  I  know  both  Mr.  Balfour  and  Sir  Henry 
Campbell-Bannerman  are  absolutely  averse  to  any  such 
action.  I  know  this  of  my  own  personal  knowledge." 

The  Emperor:  "Yes,  yes,  but  it  doesn't  matter 
whether  either  of  them  is  Prime  Minister  or  what  party 
is  in  power.  Fisher  remains!  that's  the  vital  fact!  I  ad- 
mire Fisher.  I  say  nothing  against  him.  If  I  were  in  his 
place  I  should  do  all  that  he  has  done  (in  concentrating 
the  British  Navy  against  Germany)  and  I  should  do  all 
that  I  know  he  has  it  in  his  mind  to  do.  Isvolsky,  the 
Russian  Minister  of  Foreign  Affairs,  holds  the  same 
opinion." 

And  yet  Mr.  Leo  Maxse  gibbets  Sir  John  Fisher  every 
month  in  the  National  Review  as  a  traitor  to  his  country 
and  a  panderer  to  Germany,  who  "ought  to  be  hung  at 
his  own  yard  arm!" 

1907. 
Nov.  28th. 

Can  you  manage  to  be  at  my  room  at  Admiralty  at 
11.30  sharp  to-day  (Saturday)  to  see  arrangements  for 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        183 

swallowing  the  German  Mercantile  Marine,  and  other 
War  Apparatus?  [i.e.,  "The  Spider's  Web"]. 

1907. 
Dec.  12th. 

...  I  hope  the  Admiralty  memorandum  is  to  your 
satisfaction — of  course  it  is  only  the  first  instalment. 
What  fascinates  me  is  that  the  Committee  as  a  whole 
don't  seem  to  take  the  point  that  the  whole  case  of  Roberts 
rests  on  an  absolute  Naval  surprise,  which  is  really  a  sheer 
impossibility  in  view  of  our  organised  information. 

1908. 
Jan.  1st. 

...  I  had  a  tete-a-tete  lunch  with  Winston  Churchill; 
he  unexpectedly  came  to  the  Admiralty  and  I  was  whirled 
off  with  him  to  the  Ritz.  I  had  two  hours  with  him.  He 
is  very  keen  to  fight  on  my  behalf  and  is  simply  kicking 

with  fury  at &  Co.,  but  I've  told  him  the  watchword 

is  "Silence."  He  is  an  enthusiastic  friend  certainly!  He 
told  me  he  would  get  six  men  on  both  sides  to  join  in  con 
amore,  F.  E.  Smith,  &c.,  &c.  I  forget  the  other  names. 
It  was  rather  sweet :  he  said  his  penchant  for  me  was  that 
I  painted  with  a  big  brush !  and  was  violent ! — I  reminded 
him  that  even  "The  Kingdom  of  Heaven  suffereth  vio- 
lence, and  the  violent  take  it  by  force" — vide  yesterday's 
Second  Lesson. 

1908. 
Jan.  17th. 

Secret.  ...  I  rather  want  to  keep  clear  of  Defence 
Committee  till  Morocco  is  settled,  as  I  don't  want  to  dis- 
close my  plan  of  campaign  to  am/one,  not  even  C.-B.  him- 
self. The  only  man  who  knows  is  Sir  Arthur  Wilson,  and 
he's  as  close  as  wax !  The  whole  success  will  depend  upon 
suddenness  and  unexpectedness,  and  the  moment  I  tell 
anyone  there's  an  end  of  both!!!  So  just  please  keep  me 
clear  of  any  Conference  and  personally  I  would  sooner 


1 84  MEMORIES 

the  Defence  Committee  kept  still.  I'm  seeing  about  the 
Transports.  I  started  it  about  7  weeks  ago  and  got  3  of 
my  best  satellites  on  it.  ...  So  you'll  think  me  a  villain 
of  the  deepest  dye! 

1908. 

(?)  Feb.  9th. 

.  .  .  We  want  both  a  re-distribution  as  well  as  a  re- 
organisation of  the  Army — and  the  (comparatively)  small 
Regular  Army  should  be  based  on  the  system  of  "Nucleus 
Crews" — that  is  to  say  the  whole  body  of  Officers  are  pro- 
vided and  2/5 ths  (or  the  expert)  part  of  the  crew,  and 
the  other  3/5ths  of  the  Army  you  get  from  the  outside 
Army  by  whatever  name  you  like  to  call  it — National 
Army,  or  Citizen  Army,  or  Lord  Lieutenant's  Army. 

1908. 
Feb.  21st. 

.  .  .  Secret.  Tirpitz  asked  a  mutual  civilian  friend 
living  in  Berlin  to  enquire  very  privately  of  me  whether 
I  would  agree  to  limiting  size  of  guns  and  size  of  ships, 
as  this  is  vital  to  the  Germans,  who  can't  go  bigger  than 
the  Dreadnought  in  guns  or  size.  I  wrote  back  by  return 
of  post  yesterday  morning  "Tell  him  I'll  see  him  d — d 
first!"  (Them's  the  very  words!)  I  wonder  what  Wil- 
helm  will  say  to  that  if  Tirpitz  shows  him  the  letter! 

1908. 
Apr.  19th. 

...  I  got  a  note  to  say  the  King  wanted  to  see  me 
this  afternoon  at  3  p.m.  .  .  .  Private.  I  got  3  letters 
from  the  King  at  Biarritz,  all  extremely  cordial  and  com- 
municative and  unsought  by  me.  I  mention  this  to  prove 
to  you  his  kindly  feelings  and  support.  .  .  .  When  I  met 
the  King  on  arrival  he  said  I  was  to  be  sure  and  see  him 
as  he  had  something  serious  to  say  to  me.  I  suppose  I 
was  with  him  more  than  an  hour,  and  he  was  as  cordial 
and  friendly  as  ever;  and  this  was  the  serious  thing — "that 
I  was  Jekyll  and  Hyde!  Jekyll  in  being  successful  at 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        185 

my  work  at  the  Admiralty — but  Hyde  as  a  failure  in 
Society!  That  I  talked  too  freely  and  was  reported  to 
say  (which  of  course  is  a  lie)  that  the  King  would  see 
me  through  anything!  That  it  was  bad  for  me  and  bad 
for  him  as  being  a  Constitutional  Monarch ;  if  the  Prime 
Minister  gave  me  my  conge,  he  couldn't  resist  it,  &c.,  &c." 
...  I  told  the  King  that  if  I  had  never  mentioned  His 
Majesty's  name  in  my  life,  precisely  the  same  thing  would 
be  said  out  of  sheer  envy  of  His  Majesty  being  kindly 
disposed,  and  it  could  not  be  hid  that  the  King  had  backed 
up  the  First  Sea  Lord  against  all  kinds  of  opposition — 
As  a  matter  of  fact  I  never  do  go  into  Society,  and  only 
dine  out  when  I'm  worried  to  meet  the  King,  and  I'm  not 
such  a  born  idiot  as  to  have  said  any  such  thing  as  has  been 
reported  to  the  King  (it  is  quite  likely  someone  else  has 
scdd  it!)  Well  he  left  that  (having  unburdened  his  mind) 
and  smoked  a  cigar  as  big  as  a  capstan  bar  for  really  a 
good  hour  afterwards,  talking  of  everything  from  China 
to  Peru,  not  excluding  The  Times  article  on  himself.  .  .  . 
Oh!  he  said  something  of  how  I  worked  the  Press,  but  I 
didn't  follow  that  up.  No  one  knows,  except  perhaps 
yourself,  that  unless  I  had  arranged  to  get  the  whole  force 
of  public  opinion  to  back  up  the  Naval  Revolution  it 
would  have  been  simply  impossible  to  have  carried  it 
through  successfully,  for  the  vested  interests  against  me 
were  enormous  and  the  whole  force  of  Naval  opinion  was 
dead  against  me.  But  I  did  venture  one  humble  remark 
to  the  King:  "Has  anyone  ever  been  able  to  mention  to 
Your  Majesty  one  single  little  item  that  has  failed  in  the 
whole  multitude  of  reforms  introduced  in  the  last  3% 
years?"  No!  he  said.  No  one  had!  So  I  left  it  there. 
...  If  the  Angel  Gabriel  were  in  my  place  he  would  be 
falsely  accused.  I'm  only  surprised  that  the  King  hasn't 
been  told  worse  things — perhaps  he  has!  "Let  him  that 
thinketh  he  standeth  take  heed  lest  he  fall."  I  always 
have  that  thought,  and  hope  the  King  will  have  a  cottage 
somewhere  in  Windsor  Forest  or  elsewhere  which  he  will 
kindly  give  me  when  it  happens,  so  that  I  can  come  over 
and  have  a  yarn  with  you ! 


1 86  MEMORIES 

1908. 
May  5th. 

4.15  a.m.  The  Early  Bird!!  .  .  .  Yesterday,  with  all 
Sea  Lords  present,  McKenna  formally  agreed  to  4  Dread- 
noughts and  if  necessary  6  Dreadnoughts  next  year  (per- 
haps the  greatest  triumph  ever  known ! )  .  .  .  He  tells  me 
Harcourt  for  certain  will  resign  on  it  ...  and  he  is  par- 
ing down  the  money  with  a  view  to  Supplementary  Esti- 
mates. .  .  .  This  is  what  I  suggest  to  you  to  impress  on 
Lloyd  George:  Let  there  be  no  mistake  about  the  two 
Keels  to  one  in  Dreadnoughts!  Let  Lloyd  George  re- 
assure McKenna  and  tell  him  to  have  no  fear — it  doesn't 
affect  next  year,  as  McKenna  consents  to  4  or  even  6; 
but  it  does  affect  the  year  after,  and  the  Admiralty 
Finance  should  be  arranged  accordingly  and  not  deplete 
next  year  at  expense  of  year  after.  I  wonder  if  this  is 
all  clear  to  you — that  McKenna  is  going  to  give  us  the 
numbers  for  next  year  all  right.  Shove  in  again  the  great 
fact — The  Navy  and  Army  Estimates  not  far  different  in 
magnitude,  and  yet  the  Army  not  big  enough  to  fight 
Bulgaria,  and  the  Navy  can  take  on  all  the  Navies  of  the 
world  put  together. — "Ut  veniant  omnesllT-  -"Let  'em 
all  come!"  You  might  tell  Lloyd  George  he  can  rely  on 
my  parsimony. 

1908. 
Sept.  8th. 

.  .  .  "The  heart  untravelled  fondly  turns  to  home." 
— We  have  no  poets  nowadays  like  Pope,  Goldsmith  and 
Gay — only  damned  mystical  idiots  like  Browning  and 
Tennyson  that  want  a  dictionary  and  the  Differential- 
Calculus  sort  of  mind  to  understand  what  they  are  driv- 
ing at! 

...  I  sat  several  times  [on  a  recent  visit  abroad]  be- 
tween Stolypin,  the  Russian  Prime  Minister,  and  Isvol- 
sky,  the  Foreign  Secretary.  I  didn't  begin  it,  but  Stoly- 
pin said  to  me,  "What  do  you  think  we  want  most?"  He 
fancied  I  should  answer,  "So  many  battleships,  so  many 
cruisers,  &c.,  &c.,"  but  instead  I  said:  "Your  Western 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER         187 

Frontier  is  denuded  of  troops  and  your  magazines  are  de- 
pleted. Fill  them  up,  and  then  talk  of  Fleets!"  Please 
see  enclosure  from  Kuropatkin's  secret  report:  "The 
foundation  of  Russia  s  safety  is  her  Western  boundary!!!" 
.  .  .  Have  you  seen  Monsieur  Rousseau  (I  think  is  his 
name)  in  Le  Temps?  I  had  an  extract  of  it,  and  put  it 
aside  to  send  you,  but  alas !  it  has  gone.  "Procrastination 
is  the  thief  of  good  intentions" — which  is  not  so  good  as 
"Punctuality  is  the  curse  of  comfort."  But  the  good 
Frenchman  (like  Monsieur  Hanotaux  before  him)  is  lost 
in  admiration  of  what  moved  Mahan  to  his  pungent  say- 
ing that  Garvin  seized  on  with  the  inspiration  of  genius— 
"that  88  per  cent,  of  the  English  guns  were  trained  on 
Germany!"  .  .  .  By  the  way,  I've  got  Sir  Philip  Watts 
into  a  new  Indomitable  that  will  make  your  mouth  water 
when  you  see  it!  (and  the  Germans  gnash  their  teeth!). 

1908. 
Dec. 

The  King  has  sent  me  a  dear  letter,  and  adds  "Don't 
print  this!"  Isn't  he  a  sweet?  What  wonderful  friends 
I  have!  It's  a  marvel!  All  I  do  is  to  kick  their  shins. 

1908. 
(No  date.) 

...  I  am  going  to  ask  you  to  reconsider  your  sup- 
plementary paper  herewith.  I  can't  find  that  the  Ad- 
miralty have  admitted  that  24,000  men  would  ever  start 
off  together  as  two  raids  of  12,000  each.  I  personally 
have  expressed  my  decided  opinion  (I  think  at  the  7th 
meeting)  [of  the  Committee  of  Imperial  Defence]  to  the 
contrary.  Indeed,  I  am  emphatically  of  opinion  that  no 
raid  of  any  kind  [that  is,  landing  of  troops']  is  feasible 
with  all  our  late  developments,  which  are  developing  fur- 
ther every  day  (e.g.,  we  have  our  wireless  on  top  of  Ad- 
miralty Building  and  are  communicating  with  the  Scilly 
Islands  now  and  shortly  I  hope  Gibraltar  and  so  certainly 
to  every  point  of  the  .German  coast  where  we  shall  have 
Wireless  Cruisers  all  over  the  place.  (Not  a  dog  will  wag 


1 88  MEMORIES 

its  tail  without  being  reported.}  So  don't  let  us  get  a 
scare  over  24,000  men  coming  unobserved.  One  lot  of 
12,000  can  be  put  in  as  the  limit;  but  my  suggestion  is — 
leave  out  numbers,  and  simply  say  as  a  precautionary 
measure  for  the  confidence  of  the  country,  it's  a  good  safe 
arbitrary  standard  to  lay  down  that  two  Divisions  of  Reg- 
ular Troops  are  always  to  be  left  in  the  Country  just  in 
the  same  way  as  laid  down  at  the  Admiralty  that  the 
Home  Fleet  is  not  for  Service  abroad. 

1909. 
Jan.  26th. 

.  .  .  The  Admiralty  hear  (by  wireless  every  moment) 
what  all  the  Admirals  and  Captains  are  saying  to  each 
other  anywhere  in  Europe  and  even  over  to  the  coasts  of 
America. 

1909. 

March  15th. 

Private  &  Secret  &  Personal.  I  have  just  finished  in 
these  early  hours  a  careful  re-study  of  your  paper  E.  5 
(which  I  love)  and  the  criticisms  thereon  by  French  and 
the  General  Staff.  I  dismiss  French's  criticism  as  being 
that  of  a  pure  correct  Cavalry  expert  and  not  dealing  with 
the  big  questions.  The  General  Staff  criticism  is  on  the 
other  hand  the  thin  end  of  the  insidious  wedge  of  our 
taking  part  in  Continental  War  as  apart  absolutely  from 
Coastal  Military  Expeditions  in  pure  concert  with  the 
Navy — expeditions  involving  hell  to  the  enemy  because 
backed  by  an  invincible  Navy  (the  citadel  of  the  Military 
force).  I  don't  desire  to  mention  these  expeditions  and 
never  will,  as  our  military  organization  is  so  damnably 
leaky!  but  it  so  happens  for  two  solid  hours  this  morning 
I  have  been  studying  one  of  these  of  inestimable  value 
only  involving  5,000  men,  and  some  guns,  and  horses  about 
500 — a  mere  fleabite!  but  a  collection  of  these  fleabites 
would  make  Wilhelm  scratch  himself  with  fury!  How- 
ever, the  point  of  my  letter  is  this — Ain't  we  d — d  fools 
to  go  on  wasting  our  very  precious  moments  in  these 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER         189 

abstruse  disquisitions  on  this  line  and  that  or  the  passage 
of  the  Dutch  German  Frontier  River  and  whether  the 
bloody  fight  is  to  be  at  Rheims  or  Amiens,  until  the  Cabi- 
net have  decided  the  great  big  question  raised  in  your  E.  5 : 
Are  we  or  are  we  not  going  to  send  a  British  Army  to 
fight  on  the  Continent  as  quite  distinct  and  apart  from 
Coastal  Raids  and  seizures  of  Islands,  etcetera,  which  the 
Navy  dominate?  Had  not  the  Prime  Minister  better  get 
this  fixed  up  before  we  have  any  more  discussions  such  as 
foreshadowed  to-morrow? 

1909. 
March  21st. 

...  It  won't  do  to  resign  on  a  hypothesis  but  on  a 
fact !  All  is  in  train  for  the  8  Dreadnoughts !  and  as  Grey 
says  when  the  day  is  reached  to  sign  the  contracts  and 
then  a  veto — then  is  the  day  to  go  in  a  great  company  and 
not  one  alone!  ...  I  am  vehemently  urged  to  squash  my 
"malignant  stabbers-in-the-back"  by  making  a  speech 
somewhere  and  saying  as  follows — but  I  won't — it  would 
be  an  effectual  cold  douche  to  the  8  Dreadnoughts  a  year ! 
I  might  say: 

"The  unswerving  intention  of  4  years  has  now  cul- 
minated in  two  complete  Fleets  in  Home  Waters,  each 
of  which  is  incomparably  superior  to  the  whole  German 
Fleet  mobilised  for  war.  Don't  take  my  word!  Count 
them,  see  them  for  yourselves!  You  will  see  them  next 
June.  This  can't  alter  for  years,  even  were  we  supinely 
passive  in  our  building;  but  it  won't  alter  because  we  will 
have  8  Dreadnoughts  a  year.  So  sleep  quiet  in  your 
beds!" 

And  I  might  also  add: — 

"The  Germans  are  not  building  in  this  feverish  haste 
to  fight  you!  No!  it's  the  daily  dread  they  have  of  a 
second  Copenhagen,  which  they  know  a  Pitt  or  a  Bis- 
marck would  execute  on  them! 

"Cease  building  or  I  strike!" 


I9o  MEMORIES 


1909. 

March  SOth. 

.  .  .  Grey  rubbed  in  two  great  points  yesterday: — 
(i)   Lack  of  information  as  to  German  acceleration 
will  be  acted  on  as  if  acceleration  were  a  fact, 
(ii)   The  8  this  year  won't  affect  next  year. 

1909. 

June  1 5th. 

.  .  .  Yes,  we  made  a  good  job  of  Saturday;  but  the 
two  most  noticeable  things  of  all  were  never  noticed: — 

(i)  The  swarm  of  Destroyers  going  20  knots  past  the 
Dreadnought  found  themselves  suddenly  confronted  by 
a  lot  of  passenger  steamers  and  yachts,  which  at  the  last 
moment  got  right  in  their  way — the  accidents  might  have 
been  intense — but  the  young  Destroyer  commanders  kept 
their  nerve  and  their  speed  and  scootled  through  the  eye 
of  the  needle  just  grazing  them  all.  It  was  splendid  to 
see  and  made  my  heart  warm!  (N.B. — A  Press  delegate 
— the  Toronto  Globe,  I  think,  seized  me  by  the  arm  and 
said,  "Sir,  I  see  the  glint  of  battle  in  your  eye!") 

(ii)  I  saw  the  Speaker  of  the  House  of  Commons 
being  bundled  into  a  "char-a-banc"  holding  24  other  pro- 
miscuous persons  by  a  bluejacket.  Truly  a  democratic 
sight ! 

1909. 

July  Srd. 

.  .  .  The  latest  development  is  that  somebody  has  a 
pile  of  my  private  letters  to  various  people — not  printed 
or  typewritten  but  the  original  letters,  so  he  says,  which 
he  is  going  to  produce  unless  I  agree  to  resign  in  October! 
Some  of  the  letters  stolen  and  some  given  (so  I  am  told!) . 
However  "hot"  they  may  be  I  don't  regret  a  word  I  ever 
wrote,  and  I  believe  my  countrymen  will  forgive  me. 
Anyhow  I  won't  be  blackmailed!  There  was  murder  in 
the  King's  eye  when  I  told  him  (but  I  didn't  tell  him  all!) 
...  7  am  going  to  fight  to  the  finish!  Heaven  bless  you 
for  your  help. 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER         191 

1909. 

August  3rd. 

.  .  .  The  Mouse  was  able  to  help  the  Lion  yesterday 
as  the  King  got  on  to  you  in  regard  to  vile  attempts  of 
jealousy  as  to  your  being  on  the  Defence  Committee.  The 
King  is  certainly  A  1  in  sticking  to  his  friends!  but  you 
have  always  said  this  yourself  to  me  when  I  have  been 
down  on  my  luck!  All  has  gone  most  splendidly  in  all 
ways  and  the  King  is  enormously  gratified  at  the  mag- 
nificent show  of  the  Fleet  to  put  before  the  Emperor  of 
Russia.  I  told  the  Emperor  it  was  a  fine  avenue! — 18 
miles  of  ships — the  most  powerful  in  the  world  and  none 
of  them  more  than  10  years  old! 

1909. 
August  27th. 

[A  letter  on  the  Beresford  Report  speaks  of  two  "base 
innuendoes,"  of  which  the  second  is] 

(ii)  The  "suggestio  falsi"  that  the  Admiralty  had  been 
wanting  in  Strategical  Thought — whereas  we  had  effected 
the  immense  advance  of  establishing  the  Naval  War  Col- 
lege and  gave  evidence  of  practical  strategy  in  effecting 
the  concentration  qf  our  Fleets  instead  of  the  previous 
state  of  dispersion.  No  such  redistribution  of  strategical 
force  since  the  days  of  Noah! 

But  worse  still — Not  one  word  of  commendation  for 
the  Admiralty  for  its  unparalleled  work  in  gaining  fight- 
ing efficiency  and  instant  readiness  for  war  by  the  insti- 
tution of  the  Nucleus  Crew  system — the  introduction  of 
Battle  practice — the  unexampled  advance  in  Gunnery 
(the  "Invincible"  with  her  12-inch  guns  hitting  the  target 
l/14th  her  own  size  15  times  out  of  18  at  5  miles,  she  her- 
self going  20  knots  and  the  target  also  moving  at  an  un- 
known speed  and  unknown  course)  and  getting  rid  of 
160  vessels  that  could  neither  fight  nor  run  away — Not 
one  word  of  appreciation  of  all  this  by  the  Committee! 
and  yet  they  had  the  practical  result  before  them  in  the 
manoBuvres  of  374  vessels  manoeuvring  in  fogs  and  shoals 
without  a  single  mishap  or  a  single  defect  and  96  Sub- 
marines and  Torpedo  Craft  on  the  East  Coast  making  In- 


I92  MEMORIES 

vasion  ridiculous!  No — it  has  been  a  bitter  disappoint- 
ment— more  bitter  because  each  of  the  five  members  of 
the  Committee  so  expressive  to  me  and  to  others  of  the 
complete  victory  of  the  Admiralty.  Cowards  all!  It  is 
the  one  redeeming  feature  that  The  Times  came  down  de- 
cidedly on  the  right  side  of  the  fence!  the  one  and  only 
paper  that  got  at  the  kernel  of  the  matter.  Discipline! 
where  art  thou  now  after  this  Report? 

1909. 
Sept.  IStk. 

.  .  .  What  pleases  me  most  is  the  King  having  sent 
for  you,  and  your  1%  hours'  breakfast  and  afterwards 

driving  with  him,  because  as  no  doubt  you  know,  

(and  some  others)  started  a  propaganda  against  you 
which  fell  absolutely  flat  and  it's  a  rattling  good  thing 
the  King  making  much  of  you  in  this  way  as  it  gets  about 
and  without  any  question  the  King  now  largely  moulds 
the  public  will!  As  to  your  letter  in  regard  to  myself,  it 
of  course  gives  me  great  joy  that  the  King  gives  me  his 
blessing  and  also  dear  Knollys's  wonderful  fidelity  to  me 
is  a  miracle!  (I  always  think  of  an  incident  long  ago 
when  he  calmly  ignored  a  furious  effusion  of  mine  to  the 
King  and  put  the  letter  in  the  fire  without  saying  a  word 
to  me  till  long  afterwards!  I  all  the  time  joyful — think- 
ing I  had  done  splendidly!) 

[After  a  forecast  of  a  coming  change  in  the  Govern- 
ment the  letter  goes  on] 

You  will  at  once  say:  What  is  the  First  Sea  Lord 
going  to  do?  Answer — Nothing!  It  is  the  ONLY  course 
to  follow!  I  have  thought  it  all  out  most  carefully  and 
decided  to  keep  absolutely  dumb.  When  a  new  Admiralty 
patent  appears  in  the  London  Gazette  without  my  name 
in  it,  I  pack  up  and  walk  out  and  settle  down  in  the  Tyrol. 
Temperature  70°  in  the  shade  and  figs  ten  a  penny  and 
wear  out  all  my  white  tunics  and  white  trowsers!  Mc- 
Kenna,  to  whom  I  am  absolutely  devoted,  may  force  my 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER        193 

hand  to  help  him.  In  view  of  all  he  has  risked  for  me 
(he  was  practically  out  of  the  Cabinet  for  24  hours  at  one 
time!  This  is  a  fact)  I  am  ready  to  go  to  the  stake  for 
him;  but  if  he  is  well  advised  he  also  will  be  dumb.  .  .  . 
I  am  so  surprised  how  utterly  both  the  Cabinet  and  the 
Press  have  failed  to  see  the  "inwardness"  of  the  new  "Pa- 
cific Fleet"!  I  had  a  few  momentous  words  in  private 
with  Sir  Joseph  Ward  (the  Prime  Minister  of  New  Zea- 
land). He  saw  it!  It  means  eventually  Canada,  Aus- 
tralia, New  Zealand,  the  Cape  (that  is  South  Africa)  and 
India  running  a  complete  Navy!  We  manage  the  job  in 
Europe.  They'll  manage  the  job  ...  as  occasion  re- 
quires out  there!  The  very  wonderful  thing  is  that  only 
dear  old  Lord  Kelvin  and  the  First  Sea  Lord  at  the  first 
wanted  the  Battle  Cruiser  type  alone  and  not  "Dread- 
noughts"; but  we  had  a  compromise,  as  you  know,  and 
got  3  Indomitdbles  with  the  Dreadnoughts;  and  all  the 
world  now  has  got  "Indomitables"  on  the  brain!  Hip! 
Hip!  Hurrah! 

1909. 

Dec.  25th. 

.  .  .  Wilson  and  I  have  talked  a  lot  about  our  War 
plan  for  the  Navy.  You  know  he  told  the  Defence  Com- 
mittee that  only  he  and  I  knew  of  the  War  Plan,  which 
is  quite  true  and  it  was  the  same  when  his  fleet  was  joined 
with  mine  when  South  African  War  was  in  progress.  He 
would  sooner  die  than  disclose  it.  (God  bless  Sir  Arthur 
Wilson!) 

1910. 

Jan  23rd. 

Of  course  no  question  as  to  strategic  merits  of  a  Canal, 
and  it  ought  originally  to  have  been  the  scheme  instead 
of  Rosyth,  but  now  is  it  possible  to  make  the  volte-face? 
I  fear  not!  I  got  Rosyth  delayed  4  years  as  NOT  being  the 
right  thing  or  the  right  place  and  hoping  for  our  Kiel 
Canal;  but  though  I  succeeded  in  the  delay,  alas!  I  did 
not  in  the  substitution.  However,  I  will  see  Hankey  as 


194  MEMORIES 

you  suggest.  Yes,  I'm  quite  happy,  and  my  cry  is  NOT 
"a  Berlin!"  .  .  .  I've  got  some  war  charts  that  would 
make  your  mouth  water ! 

[Sir  John  Fisher  left  the  Admiralty  on  his  birthday, 
Jan.  25th,  1910,  and  was  raised  to  the  Peerage.] 

1910.  KlLVERSTONE  HALL,. 

February  2nd.  THETFORD. 

.  .  .  I've  just  got  here  from  Cheshire,  where  for  days 
running  I've  had  Paradise.  3  lovely  girls  in  the  house,  a 
splendid  ball  room  and  music  always  on  hand!  3  young 
Guardsmen  there,  but  I  held  my  own! 

Dancing  till  4  a.m.  took  it  out  of  me  a  bit,  but  it  re- 
vivified me  and  I  renewed  my  strength  like  the  Eagle! 
...  I  hope  the  King  talked  politics  with  McKenna,  who 
is  very  acute  and  would  sacrifice  himself  for  the  King. 
Didn't  you  think  McKenna  excellent,  the  night  he  dined 
with  me,  as  to  the  course  the  King  should  pursue?  You 
see  he  knows  so  exactly  how  the  Cabinet  will  be  actu- 
ated. .  .  . 

There  are  great  risks.  Both  political  sides  unscrupu- 
lous. .  .  . 

P.S. — Wasn't  it  the  Emperor  Diocletian  who  doffed 
the  Imperial  Purple  to  plant  cabbages?  and  d — d  fine 
cabbages,  no  doubt!  So  don't  blackguard  me  for  leaving 
the  Admiralty  of  my  own  free  will,  to  plant  roses! 

1910. 

Feb.  18th. 

.  .  .  Things  look  ugly.  .  .  .  However,  I'm  a  pure 
outsider!  There  will  be  desperate  efforts  to  supplant 
Wilson,  so  I  hear  from  trustworthy  quarters.  But  Mc- 
Kenna will  be  the  real  loss  to  the  Navy.  The  sacred  fire 
of  efficiency  burns  brightly  in  him !  and  he's  a  born  fighter 
and  a  good  hater,  which  I  love  (as  Dr.  Johnson  did)  with 
all  my  heart.  You  really  must  come  here  when  the  weather 
is  nicer — it's  lovely!  I've  never  known  till  now  what  joy 
there  is  in  Nature.  Even  beauteous  woman  fades  in  the 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        195 

comparison!  I've  just  seen  the  wild  swans  flying  over 
the  Lake!  "The  world  forgetting — By  the  world  for- 
got!" is  appropriate  to  me  now!  .  .  .  I've  just  thought 
of  a  lovely  Preamble  for  my  approaching  "Midshipman's 
Vade-Mecum"  ...  I  rather  think  it's  Blackie,  though 
perhaps  not  his  words: 

"Four  Things  for  a  Big  Life 

I.  A  great  Inspiration 
II.  A  great  Cause 
III.  A  great  Battle 
IV.  A  great  Victory 

Having  got  those  4  things  then  you  can  preach  the 
Gospel  of  Rest  and  Build  an  Altar  to  Repose." 

1910. 
March  14,th. 

...  I  lunched  with  Asquith,  he  was  more  than  cor- 
dial! How  funny  it  is  that  I  did  infinitely  more  for  the 
Conservatives  than  for  the  Radicals,  and  yet  the  Radicals 
have  given  me  all  I  have  got  and  the  Conservatives  have 
only  given  me  abuse  and  calumny ! 

The  Radicals  gave  me  my  Pension  and  a  Peerage,  and 
yet  I  increased  the  Radical  estimates  nearly  ten  millions! 
I  decreased  the  estimates  9  millions  and  reduced  pros- 
pective charges  by  nineteen  millions  sterling  for  the  Con- 
servatives, and  they  never  lifted  even  a  little  finger  to  help 
me,  but  on  the  contrary  have  heaped  dunghill  abuse  on  me ! 
How  do  you  explain  this? 

McKenna,  whose  life  has  been  a  burden  on  my  ac- 
count, gives  me  a  thing  that  would  do  for  an  Ascot  Gold 
Cup  with  the  inscription  I  enclose — luckily  it's  in  Latin 
or  I  dare  not  let  it  be  seen!  (The  Craven  Scholar  writes 
to  me  it's  the  best  Latin  he  ever  read  in  his  life!)  I 
wouldn't  write  all  this  to  anyone  else,  but  is  it  not  all  of  it 
phenomenally  curious?  Well,  longo  intervallo  I  took  your 
advice  and  seized  an  opportunity  which  called  for  my  com- 
municating with  Winston,  and  he  sent  me  by  return  of 
post  a  most  affectionate  letter  and  says  I  am  the  one  man 


196  MEMORIES 

in  the  world  he  really  loves!  (Well!  I  really  love  him 
because  he's  a  great  Fighter.)  What  a  joke  if  you,  I 
and  George  Clarke  were  put  on  to  reform  the  House  of 
Lords ! 

1910. 

March  24>th. 

I  sent  you  a  telegram  from  Ely  on  my  way  down  (I 
caught  my  train  by  %  a  minute!)  as  my  cogitations  im- 
pelled me  to  suggest  to  you  that  Asquith  obviously  does 

not  see  the  fallacy  of 's  reasoning,  which  as  you  very 

acutely  observed  would  kill  the  Defence  Committee  as  a 
whole  in  its  guiding,  but  not  its  administrative  or  execu- 
tive power,  which  are  non-existent  and  inimical  to  its  ex- 
istence. But  its  "guiding"  power  is  England's  all-in-all, 
if  only  its  sufficiency  and  efficiency  could  be  digested. 

I  had  an  immense  talk  with  McKenna.  .  .  .  He  was 
"dead  on"  for  your  Committee.  Of  course  the  Ideal  was 
your  being  President,  but  I  suppose  the  "Shifting  Man" 
as  President,  according  to  the  subject  and  the  Depart- 
ment concerned,  has  its  merits  and  advantages. 

1910. 

April  8th. 

Old  Stead's  letter  in  Standard  on  2  keels  to  1  is  un- 
surpassable! It  ought  to  be  circulated  in  millions  as  a 
leafletl  .  .  .  What  d — d  fools  the  Tories  are  not  to  swal- 
low it  whole — the  2  keels  to  1 !  ...  I  told  "the  Islanders" 
secretly  I  could  do  more  as  the  "mole,"  so  not  to  put  my 
name  down — (The  Mole  is  my  metier!  only  to  be  traced 
by  upheavals!)  Get  Stead's  letter  sent  all  over  the  Na- 
tion as  a  leaflet. 

I  am  to  meet  you  on  April  19th,  Suez  Canal. 

I  don't  know  Wilson's  views.    These  are  mine: — 

General  principle:  The  Admiralty  should  never  en- 
gage itself  to  lock  up  a  single  vessel  even — not  even  a 
torpedo-boat,  or  submarine — anywhere  on  any  considera- 
tion whatever.  The.  whole  principle  of  Sea  fighting  is  to 
be  free  to  go  anywhere  with  every  d — d  thing  the  Navy 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        197 

possesses.  The  Admiralty  should  engage  to  do  their  best 
but  to  reserve  entire  freedom  of  action.  The  responsibil- 
ity of  the  Suez  Canal  therefore  cannot  be  theirs.  If  this 
clashes  with  your  views  you  had  better  cancel  me  on  Com- 
mittee, for  I'll  fight  like  Hell  for  the  above  vital  War 
Principle ! 

1910. 
April  25th. 

I  congratulate  you  on  the  latest  by  "Historicus" ;  but 
do  you  sufficiently  intensify  the  intolerable  tyranny  of 
the  permanent  Tory  majority  in  the  Lords  that  has  meant 
a  real  single  chamber  government  for  so  many  years? 
The  Radicals  are  on  the  win  and  no  one  can  stop  it.  We 
exaggerate  the  consequences.  The  silly  thing  is  to  have 
a  General  Election.  Who  gains?  Everybody  loses !  Cer- 
tainly the  Tories  won't  win.  Tariff  Reform  dead.  Win- 
ston's last  speeches  have  been  very  high  class,  especially 
where  he  shows  how  far  greater  issues  are  settled  by  the 
Government  than  anything  appertaining  to  legislation 
without  the  House  of  Lords  having  a  voice  and  we  have 
always  taken  those  risks  in  the  past  without  a  thought! 

What  is  this  about  Kitchener  hoisting  out  French  as 
Inspector  General?  Anything  to  get  Kitchener  out  of 
England ! 

[King  Edward  VII.  died  on  May  6th,  1910.] 
1910. 

May. 
(Saturday.} 

What  an  inexpressible  sorrow!!  How  we  both  know 
the  loss!  What  a  great  National  Calamity!  And  per- 
sonally what  can  I  say?  What  a  splendid  and  steadfast 
friend!  No  use  saying  any  more  to  each  other — is  it?  I 
really  feel  heart  broken! 

1910. 

May  24<th.  KILVERSTONE  HALL. 

...  I  really  can't  get  over  the  irreparable  loss.  I 
think  of  nothing  else!  Tseves  gave  me  a  wonderful  ac- 


198  MEMORIES 

count  of  the  King's  last  day.  I  rather  think  the  King  was 
coming  to  see  me  here,  had  he  remained  at  Sandringham. 
The  Queen  [Queen  Alexandra]  has  been  very  sweet  to 
me.  She  stopped  to  notice  me  going  up  the  steps  of  St. 
George's  Chapel  and  so  did  her  Sister  [the  Empress 
Marie].  I  appreciated  it  very  much — but  most  of  all  my 
interview  with  her.  .  .  .  She  told  me  she  would  come  here 
to  see  me  and  how  the  King  had  told  her  about  me  being 
disappointed  at  her  not  having  been  to  Kilverstone  before, 
You'll  think  me  morbid  writing  like  this. 

I  dined  with  Asquith,  McKenna  and  George  Murray 
last  week  in  London.  If  the  Tories  weren't  such  d — d 
stupid  idiots  I  should  rejoice  at  things  being  certain  to  go 
well.  .  .  .  My  day  is  past.  I  have  no  illusions.  You 
will  enjoy  the  roses  I've  planted  when  you  come  here. 
How  one's  life  does  change! 

1910. 

May  27th. 

.  .  .  The  Commonwealth  Government  [of  Australia] 
have  just  sent  a  confidential  telegram  to  Sir  George  Reid 
to  ask  me  to  go  as  their  Guest  to  advise  on  the  Navy. 
I've  declined.  I'd  go  as  Dictator  but  not  as  Adviser. 
Also  they  have  commenced  all  wrong  and  it  would  in- 
volve me  in  a  campaign  I  intend  to  keep  clear  of  with  the 
soldiers.  By  the  wording  of  the  telegram  I  expect  fur- 
ther pressure.  Besides,  what  a  d — d  fine  thing  to  get  me 
planted  in  the  Antipodes!  [Kitchener  and  the  Aus- 
tralians, in  drawing  up  their  scheme  of  defence,  forgot 
that  Australia  was  an  island.  So  do  we  here  in  England.] 

1910. 

June  7th. 

...  I  can't  shake  off  my  sense  of  loss  in  the  King's 
death.  Though  personally  it  practically  makes  no  differ- 
ence of  course — yet  I  feel  so  curious  a  sense  of  isolation 
— which  I  can't  get  over — and  no  longer  seem  to  care  a 
d — n  for  anything!  .  .  . 

As  you  told  me,  it  was  miraculous  I  left  the  Admiralty 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        199 

when  I  did!  It  was  the  nick  of  time!  A.  K.  Wilson  is 
doing  splendidly  and  is  unassailable.  I  had  much  pres- 
sure to  emerge  the  other  day,  but  I  won't,  nor  have  I  the 
heart  now. 

1910. 

August    5th.  KlLVERSTONE    HALL. 

McKenna  has  just  been  here  on  his  second  visit  (so 
he  liked  the  first,  I  suppose!  I  mention  this  as  an  in- 
ducement to  you  to  come!)  He  has  shewn  me  various 
secret  papers.  He  is  a  real  fighter,  and  the  Navy  Haters 
will  pass  over  his  dead  body !  If  our  late  Blessed  Master 
was  alive  I  should  know  what  to  do;  but  I  feel  my  hands 
tied  now.  Perhaps  a  kindly  Providence  put  us  both  on 
the  Beach  at  the  right  moment!  Who  knows? 

"The  lights  begin  to  twinkle  on  the  rocks3'!  I've  told 
and  others  that  the  2  keels  to  1  policy  is  of  inesti- 
mable value  because  it  eliminates  the  United  States  Navy, 
which  never  ought  to  be  mentioned — criminal  folly  to  do 
so — Also  it  gives  us  such  an  ample  margin  as  to  allow  for 
discount ! 

The  insidious  game  is  to  have  an  enquiry  into  Ship 
Designs,  which  means  delay  and  no  money! 

Two  immense  episodes  are  doing  Damocles  over  the 
Navy  just  now.  I  had  settled  to  shove  my  colleagues  over 
the  precipice  about  both  of  them,  but  as  you  know  I  left 
hurriedly  to  get  in  Wilson — so  incomparably  good!  We 
pushed  them  over  the  precipice  about  Water  Tube  Boilers, 
the  Turbine,  the  Dreadnought,  the  Scrapping  [of  ships 
that  could  neither  fight  nor  run  away],  the  Nucleus  Crews 
—the  Redistribution  of  the  Fleet,  &c.,  &c.  In  each  and 
all  it  was  Athanasius  contra  mundum,  but  each  and  all  a 
magnificent  success;  so  also  these  two  waiting  portents 
full  of  immense  developments. 

1.  Oil  Engines  and  internal  combustion,  about  which 
I  so  dilated  at  our  dinner  and  bored  you.  Since  that 
night  (July  llth)  Bloom  &  Voss  in  Germany  have  re- 
ceived an  order  to  build  a  Motor  Liner  for  the  Atlantic 
Trade.  No  engineers,  no  stokers,  and  no  funnels,  no  boil- 


200  MEMORIES 

ers!  Only  a  d — d  chauffeur!  The  economy  prodigious! 
as  the  Germans  say  "Kolossal  billig"!  But  what  will  it  be 
for  War?  Why!  all  the  past  pales  before  the  prospect!!! 
I  say  to  McKenna:  "Shove  'em  over  the  precipice! 
Shove!"  But  he's  all  alone,  poor  devil! 

The  Second  is  that  this  Democratic  Country  won't 
stand  99  per  cent,  at  least  of  her  Naval  Officers  being 
drawn  from  the  "Upper  Ten."  It's  amazing  to  me  that 
anyone  should  persuade  himself  that  an  aristocratic  Serv- 
ice can  be  maintained  in  a  Democratic  State.  The  true 
democratic  principle  is  Napoleon's:  ffLa  carrier e  ouverte 
aux  talents!"  The  Democracy  will  shortly  realise  this, 
and  there  will  be  a  dangerous  and  mischievous  agitation. 
The  secret  of  successful  administration  is  the  intelligent 
anticipation  of  agitation.  Again  I  say  to  McKenna 
"Shove!!!  Shove  them  over  the  precipice"  I  have  the 
plan  all  cut  and  dried. 

The  pressure  won't  come  from  inside  the  Navy  but 
from  outside — an  avalanche  like  A.D.  1788  (the  French 
Revolution) — and  will  sweep  away  a  lot  more  than  de- 
sirable! It  is  essentially  a  political  question  rather  than 
a  Naval  question  proper.  It  is  all  so  easy,  only  the  d — d 
Tory  prejudices  stand  in  the  way!  But  I  gave  you  a 
paper  about  all  this  printed  at  Portsmouth,  so  won't  bore 
you  with  more.  I  am  greatly  inclined  to  leave  the  De- 
fence Committee  and  move  out  in  the  open  on  these  two 
vital  questions  on  the  Navy.  The  one  affects  its  fighting 
efficiency  as  much  as  the  other.  I  am  doing  the  mole,  and 
certain  upheavals  will  appear  shortly,  but  it  wants  a 
Leader  in  the  open! 

1911. 

May  lit. 

...  I  want  you  to  think  over  getting  the  Prime  Min- 
ister to  originate  an  enquiry  for  a  great  British  Govern- 
mental Wireless  Monopoly,  or  rather  I  would  say  "Eng- 
lish Speaking"  Monopoly!  No  one  at  the  Admiralty  or 
elsewhere  has  as  yet  any  the  least  idea  of  the  immense 
revolution  both  for  Peace  and  War  purposes  which  will 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        201 

be  brought  about  by  the  future  development  of  wireless! 
.  .  .  The  point  is  that  this  scheme  wants  to  be  engineered 
by  the  Biggest  Boss,  i.e.,  the  Prime  Minister.  .  .  .  Be- 
lieve vne,  the  wireless  in  the  future  is  the  soul  and  spirit 
of  Peace  and  War,  and  therefore  must  be  in  the  hands 
of  the  Committee  of  Defence!  You  can't  cut  the  air! 
You  can  cut  a  telegraph  cable  1 

1911. 

June  25th.  BAD  NAUHEIM. 

.  .  .  You  will  see  in  the  Standard  of  May  29th  the 
London  Correspondent  of  the  Irish  Times  lets  out  about 
Lord  Fisher  and  war  arrangements,  but  as  the  Standard 
in  the  very  same  issue  makes  this  announcement  in  big 
type:  "We  (Great  Britain)  are  in  the  satisfactory  posi- 
tion of  having  twice  as  many  Dreadnoughts  in  commission 
as  Germany  and  a  number  greater  by  one  unit  than  the 
whole  of  the  rest  of  the  world  put  together!"  I  don't 
think  there  is  the  very  faintest  fear  of  war!  How  won- 
derfully Providence  guides  England!  Just  when  there 
is  a  quite  natural  tendency  to  ease  down  our  Naval  en- 
deavours comes  AGADIE  ! 

"Time  and  the  Ocean  and  some  Guilding  Star 
In  High  Cabal  have  made  us  what  we  are!" 

"The  Greatest  Power  on  'Airth,'  "  as  Mr.  Champ 
Clarke  would  say!  (You  ought  to  meet  Champ  Clarke.) 
He  is  likely  to  succeed  Taft  as  President,  but  I  put  my 
money  on  Woodrow  Wilson.  He  is  Bismarck  and  Moltke 
rolled  into  one!  ...  I  need  not  say  that  I  remain  in 
the  closest  toonds  with  the  Admiralty.  I  never  did  a  wiser 
thing  than  coming  abroad  and  remaining  abroad  and 
working  like  a  mole.  I  shall  not  return  till  July,  1912. 
Most  damnable  efforts  against  me  continue  in  full  swing: 
nevertheless  like  Gideon — "Faint  yet  pursuing"  is  my 
motto.  .  .  .  And  yet  because  in  1909  at  the  Guildhall 
when  our  Naval  supremacy  had  been  arranged  for  in  the 
Navy  Estimates  of  the  year  I  said  to  my  countrymen 
"Sleep  quiet  in  your  beds!"  I  was  vehemently  vilified 


202  MEMORIES 

with  malignant  truculence,  and  only  yesterday  I  got  a 
letter  from  an  Aristocrat  of  the  Aristocrats,  saying  he  had 
heard  it  stated  by  a  Man  of  Eminence  the  day  before  that 
I  was  in  the  pay  of  Germany!  It  is  curious  that  I  can't 
get  over  the  personal  great  blank  I  feel  in  the  death  of 
our  late  blessed  Friend  King  Edward !  There  was  some- 
thing in  the  charm  of  his  heart  that  still  chains  one  to  his 
memory — some  magnetic  touch! 

1911. 

Sept.  ZQth.  LUCERNE. 

Through  dancing  with  a  sweet  American  (and  indeed 
they  are  truly  delightful,  especially  if  you  have  the  same 
partner  all  the  evening!)  I  hear  via  a  Bremen  multi- 
millionaire that  though  the  most  optimistic  official  assur- 
ances of  peace  emanate  from  Berlin  yet  there  is  the  most 
extreme  nervousness  amongst  the  German  business  men 
because  of  the  revelation  to  them  of  the  French  power  both 
financially  and  fightingly,  so  unexpected  by  them.  I  sup- 
pose if  a  Pitt  or  a  Palmerston  had  now  been  guiding  our 
destinies  we  should  have  war.  They  would  say  any  Peace 
would  be  a  bad  Peace  because  of  the  latent  damnable 
feeling  in  Germany  against  England.  It  won't  be  France 
any  more,  it  will  be  England  that  will  be  the  red  rag  for 
the  German  Bull!  And  as  we  never  were  so  strong  as 
at  present,  then  Pitt  &  Co.  would  say  the  present  is  the 
time  to  fight.  Personally  I  am  confident  of  Peace.  I 
happen  to  know  in  a  curious  way  (but  quite  certainly) 
that  the  Germans  are  in  a  blue  funk  of  the  British  Navy 
and  are  quite  assured  that  942  German  merchant  steamers 
would  be  "gobbled  up"  in  the  first  48  hours  of  war,  and 
also  the  d— -d  uncertainty  of  when  and  where  a  hundred 
thousand  troops  embarked  in  transports  and  kept  "in  the 
air"  might  land!  N.B. — There's  a  lovely  spot  only  90 
miles  from  Berlin !  Anyhow  they  would  demobilise  about 
a  million  German  soldiers!  But  I  am  getting  "off  the 
line"  now!  I  really  sat  down  to  write  and  tell  you  of  a 
two  days'  visit  paid  to  me  here  by  the  new  American  Am- 
bassador to  Berlin.  He  is  a  faithful  friend.  He  is  very, 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        203 

very  pno-English  (he  has  such  a  lovely  daughter  whom  I 
have  been  dancing  with,  A  PERFECT  GEM  !  if  she  don't  turn 
Wilhelm's  head  I'll  eat  my  hat!).  My  friend  was  Amer- 
ican Ambassador  at  Constantinople  when  I  was  Com- 
mander-in- Chief  of  the  Mediterranean  Fleet — you  know 
it  was  a  ticklish  time  then,  at  the  worst  of  the  Boer  War 
and  the  British  Navy  kept  the  Peace!  That  old  Sultan 
[Abdul  Hamid]  told  me  so,  and  gave  me  a  500-guinea 
diamond  star,  bless  him!  and  he  called  Lord  Salisbury  a 
d — d  fool  for  having  left  him  in  the  lurch  and  for  having 
said  that  "England  had  put  her  money  on  the  wrong 
horse"  in  backing  Turkey.  The  Turks  being  the  one  peo- 
ple in  the  whole  world  to  be  England's  fast  (and  if  put 
to  it)  only  friend!  Well,  my  dear  Friend!  Leishman  saw 
this  then  in  1899,  and  sees  it  now,  and  hence  we  were 
locked  up  for  hours  in  a  secret  room  here!  It  all  bears 
immensely  on  the  present  Franco-German  Crisis!  That 
"greater-than-Bismarck"  who  is  now  German  Ambassa- 
dor at  Constantinople  (Marschall  von  Bieberstein),  and 
who  is  the  real  director  of  German  policy  (Waechter  is 
only  his  factotum!  as  I  will  prove  to  you  presently!)  sees 
his  rear  and  flanks  quite  safe  by  having  the  Turks  in  the 
palm  of  his  hand  (as  Leishman  describes  it!)  and  so  has 
been  led  to  bluff  at  Agadir — but  those  choice  words  of 
Lloyd  George  upset  the  German  apple-cart  in  a  way  it 
was  never  upset  before!  (I  suppose  they  were  "written 
out"  words  and  Cabinet  words,  and  they  were  d — d  fine 
words!)  Before  I  go  on  with  the  next  bit  of  my  letter 
I  must  explain  to  you  that  Leishman  is  a  very  great  friend 
and  admirer  of  Marschall  von  Bieberstein  and  also  of 
Kiderlen- Waechter,  the  present  German  Foreign  Min- 
ister. When  Marschall  went  on  his  annual  4  months' 
leave  from  Constantinople  he  always  had  Waechter  to 
take  his  place  while  away,  who  was  then  the  German  Min- 
ister at  Bucharest!  Leishman  is  also  an  ardent  admirer 
of  the  German  Emperor,  and  he  is  also  the  most  intimate 
friend  possessed  by  Mr.  Philander  Knox,  the  American 
Secretary  of  State,  who  has  forced  Leishman  to  Berlin 
when  he  was  in  Paradise  at  Rome  (at  all  events  his  fam- 


204  MEMORIES 

ily  were  I)  Well!  dear  Friend,  it's  a  good  thing  that 
Leishman  loves  England.  I  couldn't  possibly  write  to 
Sir  E.  Grey  what  I  am  writing  to  you  (I  shouldn't  write 
to  you  except  that  this  letter  goes  through  France  only!) 
and  it  would  be  simply  fatal  to  Leishman  if  it  ever  leaked 
out  about  his  conversations  with  me,  but  his  heart  is  with 
us.  I  knew  this  when  I  spent  many  weeks  at  Constanti- 
nople (and  we  had  no  friends  then,  1899  and  1900!)  He 
says  our  Turkish  policy  is  the  laughing  stock  of  Diplo- 
macy! "Every  schoolboy  knows"  that  we  have  a  Ma- 
homedan  Existence  and  the  Turks  love  us,  but  all  we  do 
is  to  kick  their !  As  Leishman  truly  says,  the  Ger- 
mans were  in  the  dust  by  the  deposition  of  Abdul  Hamid 
and  England  was  "all"  to  the  New  Turks,  but  slowly 
Marschall  has  worked  his  way  up  again,  and  the  Ger- 
mans again  possess  the  Turks,  instead  of  England.  The 
Turkish  Army,  the  very  finest  fighting  army  in  the  world, 
was  ours  for  the  asking,  and  "Peace — perfect  Peace"  in 
India,  Egypt  and  Persia;  but  we've  chucked  it  all  away 
because  we  have  had  d — d  fools  as  our  Ambassadors !  But 
how  can  it  be  otherwise  unless  you  put  in  men  from  out- 
side, like,  for  instance,  Bryce  at  Washington?  Our 
strength  is  Mahomedan,  but  we  are  too  d— d  Christian 
to  see  it!  and  fool  about  Armenian  atrocities  and  Bul- 
garian horrors!  Tories  and  Radicals  are  both  the  same. 
Isn't  it  wonderful  how  we  get  along!  I  repeat  again  to 
you  my  copyright  lines: — 

"Time  and  the  Ocean  and  some  Guiding  Star 
In  High  Cabal  have  made  us  what  we  are!" 

Look  at  Delagoa  Bay,  that  might  have  been  ours — 
indeed  was  ours  only  we  "fooled"  it  away!  Look  at  Lord 
Granville  and  the  Cameroons!  Well!  I  haven't  given 
Leishman  away,  I  don't  think!  The  real  German  bonne 
bouche  was  the  complete  belt  across  Africa,  but  this  only 
if  the  right  of  pre-emption  as  regards  the  Belgian  Congo 
could  have  been  acquired.  I  simply  tremble  at  the  con- 
sequences if  the  British  Redcoats  are  to  be  planted  on 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        205 

the  Vosges  Frontier  [meaning  the  dread  of  Conscription 
and  a  huge  Army  for  Continental  Warfare]. 

1911, 

October  10th.  LUCERNE. 

...  I  yesterday  had  a  long  letter  from  McKenna 
begging  me  to  return  and  "put  the  gloves  on  again,"  and 
in  view  of  his  arguments  I  am  going  to  do  so  when  A.  K. 
Wilson  vanishes  early  next  year!  It  is,  however,  dis- 
tasteful to  me.  I've  had  a  lovely  time  here. 

1911. 

October  29th.  REIGATE  PRIORY,  SURREY. 

...  I  am  here  3  days  with  Winston  and  many  of  the 
Cabinet.  I  got  a  very  urgent  letter  to  come  here,  and  I 
think  my  advice  has  been  fully  and  completely  digested, 
but  don't  say  a  word,  please,  to  a  soul!  I  am  returning 
direct  to  Lucerne  on  Wednesday,  after  Tuesday  at  Kil- 
verstone. 


1911. 

November  Qth.  LUCERNE. 

These  are  very  ticklish  times  indeed!  I  have  got  to 
be  extremely  careful.  I  must  not  get  between  Winston 
and  A.  K.  W.  in  any  way — it  would  not  only  be  very 
wrong  but  fatal  to  any  smooth  working.  So  I  begged 
Winston  not  to  write  to  me.  With  extreme  reluctance 
I  went  to  Reigate  as  I  did,  but  McKenna  urged  me  on 
the  grounds  of  the  good  of  the  Navy,  and  from  what 
Winston  has  since  said  to  a  friend  of  mine  I  think  I  did 
right  in  going. 

1911. 

December.  LUCERNE. 

...  I  shouldn't  have  written  again  so  soon  except  for 
just  now  seeing  in  a  Paris  paper  that  Sir  John  French, 
accompanied  by  four  Officers,  had  landed  at  Calais  en 
route  to  the  French  Head  Quarters,  and  expatiating  on 


206  MEMORIES 

the  evident  intention  of  joint  military  action!  Do  you 
remember  the  classic  interview  we  had  with  the  late  King 
in  his  Cabin?  If  this  is  on  the  tapis  again  then  we  have 
another  deep  regret  for  the  loss  of  that  sagacious  intuition ! 
King  Edward  may  not  have  been  clever,  but  he  never 
failed  in  his  judgment  on  whose  opinion  to  rely.  .  .  .  Of 
course  there  may  be  nothing  in  it!  Nor  do  I  think  there 
is  the  least  likelihood  of  war.  ENGLAND  is  FAB  TOO 
STRONG!  Yet  I  daily  get  letters  anticipating  my  early 
return.  .  .  . 

I  enclose  you  a  letter  from ,  received  a  little  time 

ago.  He  is  a  very  eminent  Civil  Engineer.  There  is  a 
"dead  set"  being  made  to  get  the  Midshipmen  under  the 

new  scheme  to  rebel  against  "engineering"! , & 

Co.  are  persistently  at  it  through  their  friends  in  the  Fleet, 
and  calling  those  Midshipmen  who  go  in  for  engineering 
— "Greasers."  The  inevitable  result  of  the  present  young 
officers  of  the  Navy  disparaging  and  slighting  this  chief 
necessary  qualification  of  engineering  in  these  engineer- 
ing days  will  be  to  force  the  throwing  open  of  entry  as 
officers  in  the  Navy  to  all  classes  of  the  population  and 
adopting  State  paid  Education  and  support  till  the  pay 
is  sufficient  to  support! 

1911. 

December  24-th. 

...  I  have  had  a  hectic  time  with  four  hurricanes 
crossing  the  Channel  and  balancing  on  the  tight-rope  with 
one  end  held  by  Winston  and  the  other  by  McKenna,  but 
they  both  held  tight  and  I  am  all  right.  Without  doubt 
McKenna  is  a  patriot  to  have  encouraged  ME  to  help 
Winston  as  he  has  done !  I  have  not  heard  what  the  War 
Staff  is  doing.  It  does  not  trouble  me.  My  sole  object 
was  to  ensure  Jellicoe  being  Commander-in-Chief  of  the 
Home  Fleet  on  December  19th,  1913,  and  that  is  being 
done  by  his  being  appointed  Second-in-Command  of  the 
Home  Fleet,  and  he  will  automatically  be  C.-in-C.  in  two 
years  from  that  date.  All  the  recent  changes  revolved 
round  Jellicoe,  and  No  ONE  sees  it! 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER        207 

1912. 

Jan  3rd.  NAPLES. 

...  I  fully  agree  with  you  about  the  Navy  want  of 
first-class  Intellects.  Concentration  and  Discipline  com- 
bine to  cramp  the  Sea  Officer.  .  .  .  Great  views  don't 
get  grasped.  Winston  urges  me  to  come  back,  but  he  for- 
gets the  greatest  of  all  the  great  Napoleonic  sayings: 
"J'ordonne,  ou  je  me  teds!3  Besides,  you  see,  I  was  the 
First  Violin.  However,  Winston  is  splendidly  receptive. 
I  can't  possibly  write  what  has  happened,  but  he  is  a  brave 
man.  And  as  16  Admirals  have  been  scrapped  I  am  more 
popular  than  ever!!!  A  lovely  woman  two  days  ago  sent 
me  this  riddle:  "Why  are  you  like  Holland?"  "Because 
you  lie  low  and  are  dammed  all  round."  But  there  it  is. 
Jellicoe  will  be  Admiralissimo  when  Armageddon  comes 
along,  and  everything  that  was  done  revolved  round  that, 
and  no  one  has  seen  it.  He  has  all  the  attributes  of  Nel- 
son, and  his  age. 

1912. 

March  7tk.  NAPLES. 

You  nearly  saw  me  to-day,  as  a  King's  Messenger 
roused  me  out  the  day  before  yesterday  with  papers  I 
really  thought  I  could  not  cope  with  by  letter;  but  as 
obviously  the  object  was  to  avoid  the  gossip  my  appear- 
ance in  London  would  cause  I  did  my  best  with  my  pen. 
But  I  see  clearly  I  am  in  the  middle  of  the  whirlpool 
again  and  must  force  what  I  feel  a  great  disinclination  for 
and  participate  once  more  in  the  fight.  I  have  had 
strangely  intimate  opportunities  of  learning  the  very  in- 
side of  German  feeling  towards  England.  It  is  bitterly 
intense  and  widespread.  Without  any  doubt  whatever  the 
Germans  thought  they  were  going  to  squeeze  France  out 
of  Morocco.  You  can  take  that  as  a  fact,  no  matter  what 
lies  are  told  by  the  German  Foreign  Minister;  and 
Clemenceau's  unpublished  speech  would  have  proved  it, 
but  he  said  enough.  And  how  treacherous  to  England 
was  M.  Caillaux. — What  a  dirty  business!  Anyhow,  as  a 
German  Admiral  of  high  repute  wrote  confidentially  and 


208  MEMORIES 

privately  a  few  days  since:  "German  public  opinion  is 
roused  in  a  way  I  had  not  before  thought  possible."  And 
as  far  as  I  can  make  out,  the  very  worst  possible  thing 
was  Haldane's  visit — a  British  Cabinet  Minister  crawling 
up  the  back  stairs  of  the  German  Foreign  Office  in  carpet 
slippers!  and  judging  from  all  that  is  told  me,  it  has  made 
the  Germans  worse  than  ever,  and  for  a  variety  of  quite 
opposite  reasons,  all  producing  the  same  result.  Any 
more  Heligolands  would  mean  certain  war.  It's  very 
peculiar  how  we  have  left  our  impregnable  position  we 
occupied  before  Haldane's  visit,  to  take  up  a  most  hu- 
miliating, weak  and  dangerous  one. 

1912. 

April  2nd. 

...  As  you  say,  Winston  has  done  splendidly.  He 
and  I  last  November  discussed  every  brick  of  his  speech 
in  Devonport  Dockyard  while  visiting  the  33-knot  Lion- 
Dreadnought  by  night  alone  together,  and  don't  accuse 
me  of  too  much  egotism,  but  he  stopped  dramatically  on 
the  Dockyard  stones  and  said  to  me,  "You're  a  Great 
Man!"  .  .  .  We  are  lagging  behind  in  out-Dreadnought- 
ing  the  Dreadnought!  A  plunge  of  course — a  huge 
plunge — but  so  was  the  Dreadnought — so  was  the  Tur- 
bine— so  was  the  water-tube  boiler,  and  last  of  all  so  was 
the  13V2'mch  gun  which  now  holds  the  field,  and  the  whole 
Board  of  Admiralty  (bar  Jellicoe)  and  all  the  experts 
dead  against  it — but  we  plunged !  So  it  is  now — we  want 
more  speed — less  armour — a  15-inch  gun — more  sub-divi- 
sion— oil  only — and  chauffeurs  instead  of  Engineers  and 
Stokers,  and  a  Dreadnought  that  will  go  round  the  world 
without  requiring  to  replenish  fuel!  The  Non-Par eil! 
Winston  says  he'll  call  her  the  "Fisher!"  I  owe  more 
than  I  can  say  to  McKenna.  I  owe  nearly  as  much  to 
Winston  for  scrapping  a  dozen  Admirals  on  December 
5th  last  so  as  to  get  Jellicoe  2nd  in  Command  of  the  Home 
Fleet.  If  war  comes  before  1914,  then  Jellicoe  will  be 
Nelson  at  the  Battle  of  St.  Vincent:  if  it  comes  in  1914 
then  he'll  be  Nelson  at  Trafalgar !  .  .  . 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER        209 

Again,  I've  had  quite  affectionate  letters  from  three 
important  Admirals.  Why  should  I  come  home  and  filch 
their  credit?  All  this  is  to  explain  to  you  why  I  keep 
abroad,  as  you  ask  me  what  are  my  future  plans.  Your 
letter  in  The  Times  on  the  German  Book  quite  excellent. 
Bernstorff's  book  is  even  more  popular  in  Germany:  "The 
War  Between  England  and  Germany" — with  the  picture 
of  the  "Dreadnought"  with  all  her  guns  trained  for  ac- 
tion! Every  little  petty  German  newspaper  is  dead-on 
for  war  with  England !  that  I  can  assure  you  of!  So  any- 
thing would  kindle  a  war!  .  .  .  The  banner  unfurled  on 
October  21st,  1904,  by  the  d — d  scoundrel  who  on  that 
day  became  First  Sea  Lord  had  inscribed  on  it: 

"The  fighting  efficiency  of  the  Fleet" 

and 
"Its  instant  readiness  for  War" 

and,  as  Winston  bravely  said,  that  is  now  the  case  and 
no  credit  to  himself,  but  he  ought  to  have  gone  further 
back  than  McKenna  for  the  credit.  It  was  Balfour!  He 
saw  me  through — no  one  else  would  allow  160  ships  to  be 
scrapped,  &c.,  &c.,  &c.  But  you've  had  enough! 

1912. 

April  25th. 

.  .  .  When  I  was  a  Delegate  at  the  Hague  Conference 
of  1899 — the  first  Conference — I  had  very  animated  con- 
versations, which,  however,  to  my  lasting  regret  it  was 
deemed  inexpedient  to  place  on  record  (on  account  of 
their  violence,  I  believe!),  regarding  "Trading  with  the 
Enemy."  I  stated  the  primordial  fact  that  "The  Essence 
of  War  is  Violence;  Moderation  in  War  is  Imbecility" 
And  then  in  my  remarks  I  went  on  to  observe,  as  is  stated 
by  Mr.  Norman  Angell  in  the  "Great  Illusion,"  where 
he  holds  me  up  as  a  Terror!  and  as  misguided — perhaps 
I  went  a  little  too  far  when  I  said  I  would  boil  the  pris- 
oners in  oil  and  murder  the  innocent  in  cold  blood,  &c., 
&c.,  &c.  .  .  .  but  it's  quite  silly  not  to  make  War  damn- 
able to  the  whole  mass  of  your  enemy's  population,  which 


210  MEMORIES 

of  course  is  the  secret  of  maintaining  the  right  of  Capture 
of  Private  Property  at  Sea.  As  you  say,  it  must  be  pro- 
claimed in  the  most  public  and  most  authoritative  man- 
ner that  direct  and  indirect  trade  between  Great  Britain, 
including  every  part  of  the  British  Empire,  and  Germany 
must  cease  in  time  of  war.  .  .  .  When  war  does  come 
"Might  is  Right!"  and  the  Admiralty  will  know  what  to 
do!  Nevertheless,  it  is  a  most  serious  drawback  not  mak- 
ing public  to  the  world  beforehand  what  we  mean  by 
War!  It  is  astounding  how  even  very  great  men  don't 
understand  War!  You  must  go  to  the  Foreigner  to  ap- 
preciate our  Surpassing  Predominance  as  a  Nation.  I 
was  closeted  for  two  hours  lately — in  a  locked  room — with 
a  great  Foreign  Ambassador,  who  quoted  great  names  to 
me  as  being  in  agreement  with  him  that  never  in  the 
History  of  the  World  was  the  British  Nation  (as  at  the 
present  moment)  surpassed  in  power!  And  therefore  we 
could  do  what  we  liked!  ...  I  fully  agree  with  you  that 
the  schemes  of  the  General  Staff  of  the  British  Army  are 
grotesque.  Their  projects  last  August,  had  we  gone  to 
war,  were  wild  in  the  extreme.  You  will  remember  a 
famous  interview  we  two  had  with  King  Edward  in  his 
Cabin  on  board  the  Royal  Yacht — how  he  stamped  on 
the  idea  (that  then  enthused  the  War  Office  mind)  of 
England  once  more  engaged  in  a  great  Continental  War! 
"Marlboroughs  Cheap  To-day !"  was  the  kettle  of  fish  ad- 
vertised by  the  Militarists! 

I  walked  the  sands  of  Scheveningen  with  General 
Gross  von  Schwartzhoff  in  June,  1899.  The  German 
Emperor  said  he  (Schwartzhoff)  was  a  greater  than 
Moltke.  He  was  the  Military  German  Delegate  at  the 
Hague  Conference;  he  was  designated  as  Chief  of  the 
General  Staff  at  Berlin,  but  he  was  burnt  to  death  in 
China  instead.  I  had  done  him  a  very  good  turn  indeed, 
so  he  opened  his  heart  to  me.  There  was  no  German 
Navy  then.  We  were  doing  Fashoda;  and  he  expatiated 
on  the  role  of  the  British  Army — how  the  absolute  su- 
premacy of  the  British  Navy  gave  it  such  inordinate  power 
far  beyond  its  numerical  strength,  because  200,000  men 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER        211 

embarked  in  transports,  and  God  only  knowing  where 
they  might  be  put  ashore,  was  a  weapon  of  enormous 
influence,  and  capable  of  deadly  blows — occupying  per- 
haps Antwerp,  Flushing,  &c.  (but,  of  course,  he  only  was 
thinking  of  the  Cotentin  Peninsula),  or  landing  90  miles 
from  Berlin  on  that  14  miles  of  sandy  beach  [in  Pome- 
rania],  impossible  of  defence  against  a  battle  fleet  sweep- 
ing with  devastating  shells  the  flat  country  for  miles,  like 
a  mower's  scythe — no  fortifications  able  to  withstand  pro- 
jectiles of  1,450  Ib. 

Yes!  you  are  so  right!  the  average  man  is  incapable 
of  a  wide  survey!  he  looks  through  a  pinhole  and  only 
sees  just  a  little  bit  much  magnified!  Napoleon  and 
Cromwell  1  Where  are  they? 

1912. 

April  ZQth.  NAPLES. 

.  .  .  You  say  to  me — "Come  home!" — you  remind 
me  of  "personal  influence/'  I  KNOW  IT  !  Three  days  ago 
I  was  invited  to  name  one  of  three  week-ends  in  June 
to  meet  two  very  great  men  at  a  country  house — no  one 
else.  Day  before  yesterday  Winston  Churchill  asks  me.' 
Hardly  a  week  passes  without  such  similar  pressure  from 
most  influential  quarters — "Why  don't  I  come  home  and 
smash  and  pulverise?33  Of  course,  they  one  and  all  ex- 
aggerate— that  in  ten  minutes  I  could  "sweep  the  board" 
and  so  on!  I  know  exactly  what  I  can  do.  I've  been 
fighting  50  years !  But  I  don't  want  a  personal  victory! 

...  I  am  going  to  take  my  body  and  what  little  money 
I  have  ...  to  the  United  States  in  the  near  future.  It 
would  be  no  use  my  coming  home.  The  mischief  is  done! 
.  .  .  From  patriotic  motives  I've  given  Winston  of  my 
very  best  in  the  replies  going  to  him  this  day  from  Brin- 
disi  by  King's  Messenger,  as  regards  designs  and  policy 
and  fighting  measures. 

1912. 

May  15th. 

.  .  .  Well!  as  you  say,  every  blessed  thing  at  Wey- 
mouth  [the  Fleet  Inspection]  absolutely  dates  from  1909, 


212  MEMORIES 

except  the  aviation,  and  even  that  I  pressed  to  its  present 
condition  dead  against  great  opposition,  but  I  wrote  so 
strongly  that  -  -  took  the  bit  between  his  teeth  on  that 
subject!  And  you  ask  me  the  question,  "How  goes  it  for 
the  future!" 

Well!  Lloyd  George  is  the  real  man,  and  so  far  judg- 
ing from  his  most  intimate  conversation  with  me,  all  is 
well!  ...  A  propos  of  all  this  I've  been  specially  invited 
to  meet  four  people  of  importance  at  a  week-end  meeting 
— no  others.  I  was  asked  twice  before — and  again  now 
repeated;  but  I  think  it  best  to  abstain.  I  think  you  will 
approve  of  my  not  going.  I  have  declined  to  go  with 
W.  C.  in  the  Admiralty  Yacht. 

1912. 

May  IQth.  NAPLES. 

I  have  a  letter  from  W.  C.  this  morning  that  he  and 
the  Prime  Minister  have  decided  to  come  direct  here  to 
Naples  to  spend  a  few  days,  and  a  telegram  has  just 
come  saying  they  arrive  on  May  23rd  ....  I  suppose 
the  coming  Supplementary  Estimates  and  also  types  of 
new  ships  about  which  I  am  in  deadly  antagonism  with 
every  living  soul  at  the  Admiralty,  and  one  of  the  conse- 
quences has  been  that  a  great  Admiralty  official  has  got 
the  boot!!!  So  Winston  is  right  when  he  writes  to  me 
this  morning  that  in  all  vital  points  I  have  had  my  way! 
He  adds:  "The  Future  of  the  Navy  rests  in  the  hands  of 
men  in  whom  your  confidence  is  as  strong  as  mine  .  .  . 
and  no  change  of  Government  would  carry  with  it  any 
change  of  policy  in  this  respect." 

1Q12.  KiLVERSTONE    HALL, 

June  80th.  THETFORD. 

My  plot  is  working  exactly  as  forecast.  By  and  by 
you'll  say  it's  the  best  thing  I  ever  did.  The  Prime  Min- 
ister and  Winston  would  not  listen  at  Naples  to  my  urgent 
cry  "Increase  your  margin!"  They  have  got  to  recruit 
without  stint  and  build  8  "Mastodons"  instead  of  4.  Wait 
and  see! 


LETTERS   TO  LORD   ESHER         213 
The  recruiting  HAS  begun.    The  8  will  follow. 

We  want  8 
We  won't  wait. 

No  other  course  but  that  now  in  progress  would  have 
done  it.  I  don't  mind  personal  obloquy,  but  it's  a  bit  hard 
to  undergo  my  friends'  doubts  of  me;  but  the  clouds  will 
roll  by.  .  .  .  I've  got  all  my  "working  bees"  round  me 
here  of  the  Royal  Commission  [on  Oil  and  the  Internal 
Combustion  engine].  We  shall  stagger  humanity! 

1912. 

July  6th.  KILVERSTONE  HALL. 

.  .  .  Really  all  my  thoughts  are  with  my  Royal  Com- 
mission. I  expect  you  will  see  that  the  course  of  action 
will  inevitably  result  in  what  I  ventured  to  indicate  if 
only  the  Admiralty  will  keep  their  backs  to  the  wall  of 
the  irreducible  margin  required  in  Home  Waters.  The 

only  pity  was  that  dear  old said  we  were  sufficiently 

strong  for  two  years  or  more,  which  of  course  is  quite 
true,  but  his  saying  so  may  prevent  Lloyd  George  being 
hustled  (as  he  otherwise  ivould  have  been).  Luckily  I 

prevented  saying  even  more  of  our  present  great 

preponderance — but  let  us  hope  "All's  well  that  ends 
well."  Ian  Hamilton  came  in  most  effectively  with  his 
witnessing  the  armoured  Cruiser  "Suffolk"  laden  with  a 
Battalion  of  the  Malta  Garrison  being  twice  torpedoed 
by  a  submarine. 

1912. 

July  15th. 

.  .  .  This  instant  the  news  has  come  to  me  that  there 
are  750  eligible  and  selected  candidates  for  60  vacancies 
for  Boy- Artificers  in  the  Navy  at  the  approaching  ex- 
amination! When  I  introduced  this  scheme  8  years  ago 
every  man's  hand  was  against  me,  and  the  whole  weight 
of  Trades  Unionism  inside  the  House  of  Commons  and 
out  of  it  was  organised  against  me.  .  .  .  We  were  domi- 
nated by  the  Engineers !  We  had  to  accept  Engine  Room 


214  MEMORIES 

artificers  for  the  Navy  who  had  been  brought  up  on  mak- 
ing bicycles!  Now,  these  boys  are  suckled  on  the  marine 
engine !  and  they  have  knocked  out  the  old  lot  completely. 
Our  very  best  Engine  Room  artificers  now  in  the  Navy 
are  these  boys!  Not  one  of  my  colleagues  or  anyone  else 
supported  me!  Do  you  wonder  tJiat  I  don't  care  a  d — n 
what  anyone  says?  The  man  you  are  going  to  see  on 
Wednesday — how  has  he  recognised  that  we  are  at  this 
moment  stronger  than  the  Triple  Alliance?  The  leaders 
of  both  political  parties — how  have  they  recognised  that 
19  millions  sterling  of  public  money  actually  allocated 
was  saved  and  the  re-arrangement  of  British  Sea  Power 
so  stealthily  carried  out  that  not  a  sign  appeared  of  any 
remark  by  either  our  own  or  by  any  Foreign  Diplomatists, 
until  an  obscure  article  in  the  Scientific  American  by  Ad- 
miral Mahan  stated  that  of  a  sudden  he  (Mahan)  had 
discovered  that  88  per  cent,  of  the  Sea  Power  of  England 
was  concentrated  on  Germany?  But  the  most  ludicrous 
thing  of  all  is  that  up  to  this  very  moment  no  one  has 
really  recognised  that  the  Dreadnought  caused  such  a 
deepening  and  dredging  of  German  harbours  and  their 
approaches,  and  a  new  Kiel  Canal,  as  to  cripple  Germany 
up  to  A.D.  1915,  and  make  their  coasts  accessible,  which 
were  previously  denied  to  our  ships  because  of  their  heavy 
draught  for  service  in  all  the  world! 

1912. 

August  2nd. 

At  the  Defence  Committee  yesterday  ...  we  had  a 
regular  set-to  with  Lloyd  George  (supported  by  Har- 
court  and  Morley  chiefly)  against  the  provision  of  defence 
for  Cromarty  as  a  shelter  anchorage  for  the  Fleet,  and 
the  Prime  Minister  adjourned  the  discussion  to  the  Cabi- 
net as  the  temperature  got  hot!  As  you  know,  I've  al- 
ways been  "dead  on"  for  Cromarty  and  hated  Rosyth, 
which  is  an  unsafe  anchorage — the  whole  Fleet  in  jeop- 
ardy the  other  day — and  there's  that  beastly  bridge  which, 
if  blown  up,  makes  the  egress  very  risky  without  examina- 
tion. .  .  .  Also  Cromarty  is  strategically  better  than 


LETTERS  TO  LORD  ESHER        215 

Rosyth.  .  .  .  Also  Lloyd  George  had  a  row  about  the 
airships— Seely's  Sub-Committee.  We  must  have  air- 
ships. 

1912. 

August  fib. 

I  still  hate  Rosyth  and  fortifications  and  East  Coast 
Docks  and  said  so  the  other  day!  but  what  we  devise  at 
Cromarty  is  for  another  purpose — to  fend  off  German 
Cruisers  possibly  by  an  accident  of  fog  or  stupidity  get- 
ting loose  on  our  small  craft  taking  their  ease  or  re-fuel- 
ling in  Cromarty  (Oil  will  change  all  this  in  time,  but  as 
yet  we  have  for  years  coal-fed  vessels  to  deal  with).  .  .  . 
I've  got  enthusiastic  colleagues  on  the  oil  business! 
They're  all  bitten!  Internal  Combustion  Engine  Rabies! 

1912. 

September. 

.  .  .  What  an  ass  I  was  to  come  home !  but  it  was  next 
door  to  impossible  to  resist  the  pressure  put  on  me,  and 
then  can  you  think  it  was  wise  of  me  to  plunge  once  more 
into  so  vast  a  business  as  future  motor  Battleships? 
Changing  the  face  of  the  Navy,  and,  as  Lloyd  George 
said  to  me  last  Friday,  getting  the  Coal  of  England  as 
my  mortal  enemy! 

1912. 

Sept.  14th. 

This  Royal  Commission  [on  oil]  is  a  wonder!  We 
have  our  first  meeting  on  September  24th,  and  practically 
it  is  finished  though  it  will  go  on  for  years  and  years  and 
never  submit  a  Report !  You  will  love  the  modiis  operandi 
when  some  day  I  expound  it  to  you!  ...  In  the  second 
week  of  December  we  have  an  illustration  on  the  scale  of 
12  inches  to  a  foot  of  producing  oil  from  coal.  Twenty- 
five  tons  a  day  will  be  produced  as  an  example.  All  that 
is  required  is  to  treble  the  retorting  plant  of  all  gas  works 
in  the  United  Kingdom  where  there  is  a  Mayor  and  Cor- 
poration, and  to  treble  their  "through  put"  of  coal!  We 


2i6  MEMORIES 

get  two  million  tons  of  oil  that  way!    We  only  want  one 
million. 

I  addressed  the  Directors  of  the  S.E.  &  Chatham  Rail- 
way last  Tuesday,  and  hope  I  persuaded  them  to  build 
a  motor  vessel  of  24  knots  between  Calais  and  Dover,  and 
proved  to  them  they  could  save  an  hour  between  Paris 
and  London — the  whole  side  of  the  vessel  falls  down  and 
makes  a  gangway  on  to  a  huge  pontoon  at  Calais  and 
Dover  and  all  the  passengers  march  straight  out  ("Every 
man  straight  before  him,"  like  the  Israelites  did  at  Jericho, 
and  the  walls  fell  down  before  them ! )  No  more  climbing 
up  Mont  Blanc  up  a  narrow  precipitous  gangway  from 
the  steamer  to  the  jetty  in  the  rain,  and  an  old  woman 
blocking  you  with  her  parcels  and  umbrella  jammed  by 
the  stanchions,  and  they  ask  her  for  her  ticket  and  she 
don't  know  which  pocket  it's  in !  and  the  rain  going  down 
your  neck  all  the  time !  A  glass  roof  goes  over  the  motor 
vessel — she  has  no  funnels,  and  her  telescopic  wireless 
masts  wind  down  by  a  2  h.p.  motor  so  as  not  to  go  through 
the  glass  roof.  But  all  this  is  nothing  to  H.M.S.  "In- 
comparable"— a  25 -knot  battleship  that  will  go  round  the 
whole  earth  without  refuelling !  .  .  .  The  plans  of  her  will 
be  finished  next  Monday,  and  I  wrote  last  night  to  say 
I  proposed  in  my  capacity  as  a  private  British  Citizen 
to  go  over  in  three  weeks'  time  in  the  White  Star  "Ad- 
riatic" to  get  B  or  den  [the  Canadian  Prime  Minister]  to 
build  her  at  Quebec.  The  Building  Yard  put  up  there 
by  Vickers  is  under  a  guarantee  to  build  a  Dreadnought 
in  Canada  in  May  and  the  great  Dreadnought  Dock  left 
Barrow  for  Quebec  on  August  31st.  No  English  Gov- 
ernment would  ever  make  this  plunge,  which  is  why  I 
propose  going  to  Canada — to  that  great  man,  Borden — 
and  take  the  Vickers  people  to  make  their  bargain  for 
building. 

1912. 

Sept.  20th. 

.  .  .  My  idea  now  is  to  raise  a  syndicate  to  build  the 
"Non-Pareil" !  A  few  millionaires  would  suffice,  and  I 


LETTERS  TO  LORD   ESHER        217 

know  sufficient  of  them  to  do  it.  All  the  drawings  and 
designs  quite  ready.  The  one  all  pervading,  all  absorbing 
thought  is  to  get  in  first  with  motor  ships  before  the  Ger- 
mans! Owing  to  our  apathy  during  the  last  two  years 
they  are  ahead  with  internal  combustion  engines!  They 
have  killed  15  men  in  experiments  with  oil  engines  and  we 
have  not  killed  one!  And  a  d — d  fool  of  an  English  poli- 
tician told  me  the  other  day  that  he  thinks  this  creditable 
to  us! 

Without  any  doubt  (I  have  it  from  an  eye-witness  of 
part  of  the  machinery  for  her  at  Nuremberg)  a  big  Ger- 
man oil  engine  Cruiser  is  under  weigh!  We  must  press 
forward.  .  .  .  These  d — d  politics  are  barring  the  way. 
.  .  .  "What!"  (say  these  trembling  idiots)  "ANOTHER 
Dreadnought  Revolution!"  and  these  boneless  fools  chat- 
ter with  fear  like  apes  when  they  see  an  elephant!  The 
imagination  cannot  picture  that  ffa  greater  than  the 
Dreadnought  is  here!"  Imagine  a  silhouette  presenting 
a  target  33  per  cent,  less  than  any  living  or  projected 
Battleship!  No  funnels — no  masts — no  smoke — she  car- 
ries over  5,000  tons  of  oil,  enough  to  take  her  round  the 
world  without  refuelling !  Imagine  what  that  means !  Ten 
motor  boats  carried  on  board  in  an  armoured  pit  in  the 
middle  of  her,  where  the  funnels  and  the  boilers  used  to 
be.  Two  of  these  motor  Boats  are  over  60  feet  long  and 
go  45  knots!  and  carry  21-inch  Torpedoes  that  go  five 
miles !  Imagine  these  let  loose  in  a  sea  fight ! 1  Imagine 
projectiles  far  over  a  ton  weight!  going  over  a 
mile  or  more  further  than  even  the  13%-inch  gun  can 
carry,  and  that  gun  has  rightly  staggered  humanity! — 
Yes!  that  13%-inch  gun  that  all  my  colleagues  (bar  one! 
and  he  is  our  future  Nelson!  [Jellicoe])  thought  me  mad 
to  force  through  against  unanimous  disapproval!  and  see 
where  we  are  now  in  consequence!  We  shall  have  16 
British  Dreadnoughts  with  the  IS^-inch  gun  before  the 
Germans  have  one!!!  So  it  will  be  with  the  "Non-Pareil" ! 

*  N.B. — These  very  motor  boats  here  described  sank  two  battleships  of  the 
Bolshevists  only  the  other  day.    See  Chapter  IV.— F.  21/9/19. 


218  MEMORIES 

WE  HAVE  GOT  TO  HAVE  HER.  .  .  .  I've  worked 
harder  over  this  job  than  in  all  my  life  before! 2 

1912. 

Dec.  29th. 

...  I'm  getting  sick  of  England  and  want  to  get 
back  to  Naples  and  the  sun!  and  the  "dolce  far  mentel" 
What  fools  we  all  are  to  work  like  we  do !  Till  we  drop ! 

•Then  after  this  came  the  15-inch  gun;  then  the  18-inch  gun,  actually 
used  at  sea  in  the  War;  and  then  the  20-inch  gun,  ready  to  be  built  and  go 
into  the  Incomparable,  of  40,000  tons  and  40  knots  speed,  on  May  22nd,  1915. 
— F.  21/9/19. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

AMERICANS 

MY  very  best  friends  are  Americans.  I  was  the 
Admiral  in  North  America,  and  saw  "American 
Beauties"  at  Bermuda.  (Those  American  roses  and 
the  American  women  are  equal!)  And  without  question 
they  are  the  very  best  dancers  in  the  world!  (I  suppose 
it's  from  so  much  skating!)  My  only  son  married  an 
American  lady  (which  rejoiced  me),  and  an  American 
gentleman  on  the  steamer  complimented  me  that  she  had 
come  over  and  vanquished  him  instead  of  his  going,  as 
the  usual  way  is,  to  America  to  capture  her!  I  had  such 
a  time  in  America  when  I  went  over  to  the  wedding!  I 
never  can  forget  the  hospitality  so  boundless  and  sin- 
cere! I  really  might  have  spent  three  years  in  America 
(so  I  calculated)  in  paying  visits  earnestly  desired.  The 
Reporters  (25  of  them)  asked  me  when  I  left  what  I 
thought  of  their  country  (I  tried  to  dodge  them,  but 
found  them  all  in  my  cabin  when  I  went  on  board!)  I 
summed  it  up  in  the  one  word  I  greatly  admire — 
"HUSTLE!"  and  I  got  an  adhesive  label  in  America 
which  I  also  loved !  Great  Black  Block  letters  on  a  crim- 
son ground — 


RUSH 


219 


220  MEMORIES 

You  stick  it  on  a  letter  or  the  back  of  a  slow  fool.  Mr. 
McCrea,  the  President  of  the  Pennsylvania  Railway,  had 
his  private  car  take  me  to  Philadelphia  from  New  York. 
We  went  90  miles  in  90  minutes,  and  such  a  dinner !  Two 
black  gentlemen  did  it  all.  And  I  found  my  luggage  in 
my  room  when  I  arrived  labelled: 

"MR.  LORD  FISHER" 

( How  it  got  there  so  quick  I  can't  imagine. )  I  was  bombed 
by  a  photographer  as  we  arrived  late  at  night,  and  an 
excellent  photograph  he  took,  but  it  gave  me  a  shock! 
I  had  never  been  done  like  that !  I  had  the  great  pleasure 
of  dining  with  Mr.  Woodrow  Wilson.  I  predicted  to  the 
reporters  he  would  be  the  next  President  for  sure !  I  was 
told  I  was  about  the  first  to  say  so — anyhow,  the  25  re- 
porters put  it  down  as  my  news ! 

I  met  several  great  Americans  during  my  visit;  but 
the  loveliest  meeting  I  ever  had  was  when,  long 
before,  a  charming  company  of  American  gentlemen 
came  on  July  4th  to  Admiralty  House  at  Bermuda 
to  celebrate  "Independence  Day!"  I  got  my  speech  in 
before  theirs !  I  said  George  Washington  was  the  greatest 
Englishman  who  ever  lived!  England  had  never  been  so 
prosperous,  thanks  solely  to  him,  as  since  his  time  and  now! 
because  he  taught  us  how  to  associate  with  our  fellow  coun- 
trymen when  they  went  abroad  and  set  up  house  for  them- 
selves! And  that  George  Washington  was  the  precursor 
of  that  magnificent  conception  of  John  Bright  in  his  speech 
of  the  ages  when  he  foretold  a  great  Commonwealth — 
yes  a  great  Federation — of  all  those  speaking  the  same 
tongue — that  tongue  which  is  the  "business"  tongue  of  the 
world — as  it  expresses  in  fewer  words  than  any  other 
language  what  one  desires  to  convey!  And  I  suppose 


AMERICANS  221 

now  we  have  got  Palestine  that  this  Federal  House  of 
Commons  of  the  future  will  meet  at  Jerusalem,  the  capital 
of  the  lost  Ten  Tribes  of  Israel,  whom  we  are  without 
doubt,  for  how  otherwise  could  ever  we  have  so  prospered 
when  we  have  had  such  idiots  to  guide  us  and  rule  us  as 
those  who  gave  up  Heligoland,  Tangier,  Cura9oa,  Corfu, 
Delagoa  Bay,  Java,  Sumatra,  Minorca,  etc.,  etc.?  I 
have  been  at  all  the  places  named,  so  am  able  to  state  from 
personal  knowledge  that  only  congenital  idiots  could  have 
been  guilty  of  such  inconceivable  folly  as  the  surrender  of 
them,  and  again  I  say:  "Let  us  thank  God  that  we  are  the 
lost  ten  tribes  of  Israel !"  Mr.  Lloyd  George,  in  a  famous 
speech  long  ago  in  the  War,  showed  how  we  had  been 
14  times  "too  late!"  How  many  more  "too  lates"  since  he 
made  that  memorable  speech?  Especially  what  about  our 
shipbuilding  and  the  German  submarine  menace  and 
Rationing?  (The  only  favoured  trades  seem  to  be  Brew- 
ing and  Racing!  Both  so  flourishing!) 

The  American  barber  on  board  the  "Baltic"  told  me  a 
good  story.  He  was  a  quaint  man,  clean  shaved  and  wore 
black  alpaca  throughout.  Halfway  across  the  Atlantic  I 
was  waiting  to  have  my  hair  cut,  when  a  gentleman 
bounced  in  on  him,  kicking  up  a  devil  of  a  fuss  about  want- 
ing something  at  once!  The  barber,  without  moving  a 
muscle,  calmed  him  by  saying:  "Are  you  leaving  to-day, 
Sir?"  But  this  was  his  story.  He  was  barber  in  the 
train  from  Chicago  to  New  York  that  never  stops  "even 
for  a  death"  (so  he  told  me)  when  the  train  suddenly 
stopped  at  a  small  village  and  a  lady  got  out.  Mr. 
Thompson,  the  President  of  the  Railway,  was  in  the  train, 
and  asked  why?  The  conductor  showed  an  order  signed 
by  a  great  man  of  the  Railway  to  stop  there.  When  Mr. 
Thompson  got  to  New  York  he  asked  this  great  man 
"What  excuse?"  and  added:  "I  wouldn't  have  done  it  for 


222  MEMORIES 

my  wife!"  and  the  answer  he  got  was :  "No  more  would  I !" 
But  the  sequel  of  the  story  is  that  I  told  this  tale  at  an 
international  cosmopolitan  lunch  party  at  Lucerne  and 
said:  "The  curious  thing  is  I  knew  the  man!"  when  Mr. 
Chauncey  Depew  wiped  me  out  by  saying  that  "he  knew 
the  woman!" 

This  American  Barber  quaintly  praised  the  Engine 
Driver  of  this  Chicago  train  by  telling  me  that  "he  wax 
always  looking  for  what  he  didn't  want!"  and  so  had 
avoided  the  train  going  into  a  River  by  noticing  some- 
thing wrong  with  the  points ! 

Admiral  Sampson  brought  his  Squadron  of  the  United 
States  Navy  to  visit  me  at  Bermuda.  I  was  then  the 
Admiral  in  North  America.  At  the  banquet  I  gave  in 
his  honour  I  proposed  his  health,  and  that  of  the  United 
States.  He  never  said  a  word.  Presently  one  of  his 
Officers  went  up  and  whispered  something  in  his  ear.  I 
sent  the  wine  round,  and  the  Admiral  then  got  up,  and 
made  the  best  speech  I  ever  heard.  All  he  said  was:  "It 
was  a  d — d  fine  old  hen  that  hatched  the  American 
Eagle !"  His  chaplain,  after  dinner,  complimented  me  on 
the  Officers  of  my  Flagship,  the  "Renown."  He  said :  "He 
had  not  heard  a  single  'swear'  from  'Soup  to  Pea-nuts'  "! 

Lord  Fisher  on  John  Bright 
'(FROM  "BRIGHT'S  HOUSE  JOURNAL") 

At  a  dinner  held  in  London  the  other  day  to  Mr. 
Josephus  Daniels,  Secretary  to  the  United  States  Navy, 
Lord  Fisher  made  the  following  speech  in  which  he  re- 
ferred to  a  speech  by  Mr.  John  Bright: — 

"Admiral  of  the  Fleet  Lord  Fisher,  who  was  called 
upon  also  to  respond,  was  received  with  cheers,  the  whole 


AMERICANS  223 

company  standing  up  and  drinking  his  health.  He  said 
he  had  no  doubt  at  would  be  pleasing  to  them  if  he  spoke 
about  America.  He  was  there  one  week.  Mr.  Daniels 
had  been  here  about  one  week.  He  was  in  America  one 
week  because  his  only  son  was  married  there  to  the  only 
daughter  of  a  great  Philadelphian. 


"  'King  Edward  who  was  a  kind  friend  to  me  —  in  fact 
he  was  my  only  friend  at  one  time'  —  remarked  Lord 
Fisher,  'said  to  me,  "You  are  the  best  hated  man  in  the 
British  Empire,"  and  I  replied,  "Yes,  perhaps  I  am." 
The  King  then  said,  "Do  you  know  I  am  the  only  friend 
you  have?"  I  said,  "Perhaps  your  Majesty  is  right,  but 
you  have  backed  the  winner."  Afterwards  I  came  out  on 
top  when  I  said,  "Do  you  remember  you  backed  the  win- 
ner and  now  everyone  is  saying  what  a  sagacious  King 
you  are?  The  betting  was  a  thousand  to  one.'  ' 

******* 

"But  he  was  going  to  tell  them  about  America,  and 
some  of  them  would  hear  things  they  had  never  before 
heard  about  their  own  country.  When  he  was  at  Ber- 
muda a  deputation  of  American  citizens  waited  upon  him 
on  July  4th.  To  tell  the  honest  truth  he  had  forgotten 
about  it.  He  told  the  deputation  he  knew  what  they  had 
come  there  for.  'You  know,'  he  said  to  them,  'the  great- 
est Englishman  that  ever  lived  was  George  Washington. 
He  taught  us  how  to  rule  our  Colonies.  He  told  us  that 
freedom  was  the  thing  to  give  them.  Why,  if  it  had  not 
been  for  George  Washington  America  might  have  been 
Ireland.'  'I  shook  hands  with  them,'  continued  Lord 
Fisher,  'and  they  went  away  and  said  nothing  they  had 
come  to  say.  .  .  . 

"  'Now  I  will  talk  about  the  League  of  Nations.  In 
A.D.  1910  an  American  citizen  wished  to  see  me;  and  he 
said  to  me,  taking  a  paper  out  of  his  pocket,  "Have  you 
read  that?"  I  looked  at  it  and  saw  it  was  a  speech  by 
John  Bright,  mostly  in  words  of  one  syllable  —  simplicity 
is,  of  course,  the  great  thing.  That  speech  is  really  very 


224  MEMORIES 

little  known  on  this  side  of  the  Atlantic  or  on  the  other, 
but  it  so  impressed  me  at  the  time  that  I  have  been  think- 
ing of  it  ever  since.  John  Bright  said  he  looked  forward 
to  the  time  when  there  would  be  a  compulsory  peace — 
when  those  who  spoke  with  the  same  tongue  would  form 
a  great  federation  of  free  nations  joined  together.' ' 

The  following  is  an  extract  from  the  speech  by  Mr. 
John  Bright.  It  was  delivered  at  Edinburgh  in  1868: 

"I  do  not  know  whether  it  is  a  dream  or  a  vision,  or 
the  foresight  of  a  future  reality  that  sometimes  passes 
across  my  mind — I  like  to  dwell  upon  it — but  I  frequently 
think  the  time  may  come  when  the  maritime  nations  of 
Europe — this  renowned  country  of  which  we  are  citizens, 
France,  Prussia,  resuscitated  Spain,  Italy,  and  the  United 
States  of  America — may  see  that  vast  fleets  are  of  no  use ; 
that  they  are  merely  menaces  offered  from  one  country 
to  another;  and  that  they  may  come  to  this  wise  conclu- 
sion— that  they  will  combine  at  their  joint  expense,  and 
under  some  joint  management,  to  supply  the  sea  with  a 
sufficient  sailing  and  armed  police  which  may  be  necessary 
to  keep  the  peace  on  all  parts  of  the  watery  surface  of 
the  globe,  and  that  those  great  instruments  of  war  and 
oppression  shall  no  longer  be  upheld.  This,  of  course, 
by  many  will  be  thought  to  be  a  dream  or  a  vision,  not 
the  foresight  of  what  they  call  a  statesman." 

SIR  HIRAM  MAXIM 

When  Sir  Hiram  Maxim — that  great  American — was 
very  little  known,  he  came  to  see  me  when  I  was  Captain 
of  the  Gunnery  ship  at  Portsmouth,  bringing  with  him 
his  ever-famous  Maxim  gun,  to  be  tried  by  me.  So  we 
went  to  Whale  Island  to  practise  with  the  gun ;  and  when 
he  was  ready  to  fire  I  adopted  the  usual  practice  in  trying 
all  new  guns  and  ordered  the  experimental  party  to  get 
under  cover;  and  at  that  order  they  were  supposed  to  go 


AMERICANS  225 

into  a  sort  of  dug-out.  Evidently  old  Maxim  considered 
this  an  insult  to  his  gun,  and  he  roared  out  at  the  top  of 
his  voice:  "Britishers  under  cover,  Yankees  out  in  the 
openl"  The  gun  didn't  burst  and  it  was  all  right;  but  it 
might  have,  all  the  same. 

Admiral  Hornby,  the  bravest  of  the  brave,  was  one  of 
the  Britishers;  and  he  came  to  lunch  with  me,  being  ex- 
tremely fascinated  with  Hiram's  quaintness.  Hiram  was 
a  delightful  man  in  my  opinion,  and  I  remember  his  telling 
me  that  if  I  wanted  to  live  long  and  see  good  days  the 
thing  was  to  eat  Pork  and  Beans.  I  never  had  the  chance, 
till  1910,  of  eating  them  cooked  a  I' Americaine ;  and  then  I 
agreed  with  Hiram  Maxim — no  more  delicious  dish  in  the 
world,  but  you  can't  get  it  in  England !  After  lunch  there 
were  some  oranges  on  the  table;  and  to  my  dying  day  I 
shall  never  forget  the  extraordinary  look  on  Sir  Geoffrey 
Hornby's  beautiful,  refined  face  as  Hiram  reached  out  and 
grasped  an  orange  from  the  centre  of  the  table — tore  it 
apart,  and  buried  his  face  sucking  out  the  contents,  emerg- 
ing all  orange.  He  told  us  that  was  the  way  to  enjoy  an 
orange.  We  neither,  of  us  were  up  to  it! 


CHAPTER  XIV 

SOME  SPECIAL  MISSIONS 

I  WAS  sent  as  a  very  young  Lieutenant  to  a  little  fishing 
village  called  Heppens  in  Oldenburg.  It  is  now  Wil- 
helmshaven,  chief  Naval  Port  of  Germany.  Its  river,  the 
Jahde,  was  then  a  shallow  stream.  The  occasion  for  my 
visit  was  the  cession  to  King  William  of  Prussia,  as  he 
was  then,  of  this  place,  Heppens,  by  the  Grand  Duke  of 
Oldenburg ;  and  there  I  met  King  William,  to  whom  I  sat 
next  but  one  at  lunch,  and  Bismarck  and  von  Moltke  and 
von  Roon  were  there.  We  had  a  very  long-winded  speech 
from  the  Burgomaster,  and  Bismarck,  whom  I  was  stand- 
ing next  to,  said  to  me  in  the  middle  of  it :  "I  didn't  know 
this  was  going  to  happen,  or  I  would  have  cut  him  short." 
The  King  asked  me  at  lunch  why  I  had  been  sent,  and  if 
there  was  no  one  else  who  knew  about  torpedoes.  Well, 
I  don't  think  there  was.  It  was  an  imposing  and  never- 
to-be-forgotten  sight,  that  lunch.  They  all  wore  their 
helmets  and  great-coats  at  lunch — so  mediaeval — and  tele- 
grams kept  coming  to  Bismarck,  who  would  get  up  and 
draw  the  King  aside,  and  then  they  would  sit  down  again. 
Von  Roon  I  thought  very  debonnaire,  and  Moltke  was  like 
an  old  image,  taciturn  and  inscrutable,  but  he  talked  Eng- 
lish as  well  as  I  did. 

Years  after  this,  Prince  Adalbert's  Naval  Aide-de- 
camp, who  was  a  great  friend  of  mine,  told  me  that  on  the 
day  of  mobilisation  in  the  war  with  France  he  was  sent  to 

226 


SOME  SPECIAL  MISSIONS          227 

von  Moltke  with  a  message  from  Prince  Adalbert,  who 
was  King  William's  brother  and  Head  of  the  Navy,  to 
ask  him  whether  he  could  see  Prince  Adalbert  for  a  few 
moments.  To  his  astonishment,  my  friend  found  Moltke 
lying  on  a  sofa  reading  "Lady  Audley's  Secret,"  by  Miss 
Braddon,  and  he  told  him  he  could  see  the  Prince  for  as 
long  as  he  liked  and  whenever  he  liked.  The  word  "Mob- 
ilise" had  finished  all  his  work  for  the  present. 

On  the  occasion  of  my  visit  I  imagined  and  reported 
what  Heppens  would  become,  and  so  it  did.  I  never  can 
make  out  why  I  didn't  get  a  German  decoration.  I  think 
perhaps  they  thought  me  too  young.  However,  I  had 
the  honour  of  an  empty  sentry-box  placed  outside  the 
little  inn  where  I  was  staying;  and  if  I  had  been  of  higher 
rank  there  would  have  been  a  sentry  in  it.  The  little  inn 
was  very  unpretentious,  and  when  the  landlord  had  carved 
for  us  he  came  and  sat  down  at  table  with  us.  Some  days 
after,  at  a  very  exclusive  Military  Club  in  Berlin,  I  met 
the  King's  two  illegitimate  brothers.  They  were  ex- 
actly like  him;  also  I  breakfasted  with  the  Head  of  the 
German  Mining  School.  I  remember  it,  because  we  only 
had  raw  herring  and  black  bread  for  breakfast.  He  was 
very  poor,  although  he  was  exceeding  clever,  and  had  as 
his  right-hand  man  a  wonderful  chemist.  So  far  as  I 
know,  the  present  German  mine  is  nearly  what  it  was 
then,  and  the  sea-gulls  rested  on  the  protuberances  as  they 
do  now,  for  I  went  to  Kiel  Bay  to  see  them.  There  was 
a  lovely  hotel  at  Kiel,  where  they  treated  me  royally.  I 
recommended  the  adoption  of  these  German  mines,  and 
it's  a  pity  we  didn't.  They  hold  the  field  to  this  very  day. 
However,  the  First  Sea  Lord  of  that  date  didn't  believe 
in  mines  or  torpedoes  or  submarines,  and  I  was  packed  off 
to  China  in  the  old  two-decker  "Donegal,"  as  Commander 
of  the  China  Flagship.  Long  afterwards  Sir  Hastings 


228  MEMORIES 

Yelverton,  who  became  First  Sea  Lord,  unburied  my 
Memorandum  headed  "Ocean  Warfare,"  and  supported 
the  views  in  it.  It  enunciated  the  principle  of  "Hit  first, 
hit  hard,  and  keep  on  hitting,"  and  discoursed  on  Sub- 
marines and  Alines. 

REVAL 

You  are  remarking  to  me  of  a  charming  letter  written 
to  me  by  the  late  Emperor  of  Russia's  youngest  sister— 
the  Grand  Duchess  Olga,  She  is  a  peculiarly  sweet  crea- 
ture. Her  nickname  amongst  the  Russians  was  "Sun- 
shine." Stolypin,  the  Prime  Minister,  told  me  that,  and 
he  also  said  to  me  that  she  was  a  kind  of  life-buoy  because 
if  you  walked  about  with  her  you  would  not  get  bombed 
by  an  anarchist.  All  loved  her. 

I  made  her  acquaintance  first  at  Carlsbad.  On  my 
arrival  at  the  hotel  I  found  King  Edward's  Equerry  wait- 
ing in  the  hall.  I  had  written  to  tell  the  King,  who  was  at 
Marienbad,  in  answer  to  his  enquiry,  as  to  the  day  I 
should  arrive  and  what  time ;  and  he  came  over  to  Marien- 
bad from  Carlsbad.  I  went  then  and  there  and  found  him 
just  finishing  lunch  with  a  peculiarly  charming  looking 
young  lady,  who  turned  out  to  be  the  Grand  Duchess  Olga, 
and  her  husband,  the  Grand  Duke  of  Oldenburg,  from 
whom  happily  she  is  now  divorced  (I  didn't  like  the  look 
of  him  at  all) .  The  King,  having  satisfied  himself  that  I 
had  had  lunch,  and  he  then  smoking  a  cigar  as  big  as  a 
capstan  bar,  after  talking  of  various  things  which  in- 
terested him,  told  me  that  his  niece,  the  Grand  Duchess 
Olga,  did  not  know  anyone  in  Carlsbad,  and  he  relied 
on  me  to  make  her  time  there  pleasant,  so  I  promptly 
asked  her  if  she  could  waltz.  She  said  she  loved  it,  but 
she  somehow  never  got  the  step  properly,  whereupon  I 
asked  the  King  if  he  had  any  objection  to  getting  into  the 


SOME  SPECIAL  MISSIONS          229 

corner  of  the  room  while  I  moved  the  table  and  took  the 
rugs  up  to  give  her  Imperial  Highness  a  lesson.  He 
made  some  little  difficulty  at  first,  but  eventually  went 
into  the  corner;  and  when  the  lesson  began  he  was  quite 
pleased  and  clapped  his  hands  and  called  out  "Bravo!" 
The  best  waltz  tune  in  the  world  is  one  of  Moody  and 
Sankey's  hymns.  I  don't  know  whether  Sankey  orig- 
inated the  saying  that  he  didn't  see  why  the  Devil  should 
have  all  the  good  music.  I  don't  by  that  implicate  that 
the  waltz  was  the  devil's ;  but,  without  any  doubt,  there  is 
a  good  deal  of  temptation  in  it,  and  when  you  get  a  good 
partner  you  cleave  to  her  all  the  evening. 

This  dancing  lesson  was  an  unalloyed  success,  so  I 
asked  her  to  a  dance  the  next  night  at  the  Savoy  Hotel; 
and  after  some  more  words  with  the  King  I  left,  and 
walking  down  the  stairs  to  go  to  my  hotel,  I  thought  to 
myself:  "How  on  earth  are  you  going  to  get  up  a  dance 
when  you  don't  know  a  soul  in  the  place?"  when  who 
should  I  meet  but  a  friend  of  mine — a  Spanish  Grandee, 
the  Marquis  de  Villa  Vieja,  and  he  arranged  what  really 
turned  out  to  be  a  ball,  as  he  knew  everybody,  and  I 
having  some  dear  American  friends  at  Marienbad  I 
telegraphed  them  to  come  over  and  dine  with  the  Grand 
Duchess  and  stay  the  night  for  the  ball,  and  they  did. 
When  the  dance  had  begun,  and  the  Grand  Duchess  was 
proving  quite  equal  to  her  lesson  of  the  day  before, 
suddenly  an  apparition  of  extraordinary  grace  and  loveli- 
ness appeared  at  the  door.  Villa  Vieja  took  on  the. 
Grand  Duchess  and  I  welcomed  the  beautiful  Polish 
Countess  and  danced  with  her  many  waltzes  running  in 
spite  of  a  hint  I  received  that  her  husband  was  very  jeal- 
ous and  a  renowned  duellist.  Next  day,  by  telegram  from 
the  King,  I  was  told  by  His  Majesty  that  Isvolsky,  the 
Russian  Minister  of  Foreign  Affairs,  was  to  be  asked  by 


230  MEMORIES 

me  to  lunch  on  his  arrival  that  day  from  St.  Petersburg. 
I  invited  him;  and  just  as  we  sat  down  to  lunch  the  Polish 
angel  of  the  night  before  came  through  the  door  and  petri- 
fied Isvolsky,  and  the  more  so  as  she  kissed  her  hand  to 
me.  He  never  took  his  eyes  off  her,  and  as  she  walked 
to  her  table  I  heard  him  breathe  a  sigh,  and  say  sotto  voce, 
"Alas,  in  heaven  no  woman!"  I  said  to  him:  "Monsieur 
Isvolsky,  pray  pardon  me;  perhaps  you  did  not  intend  it 
to  be  heard,  but  if  it  be  true  what  you  say,  it  takes  away 
much  of  the  charm  which  I  had  anticipated  finding  there." 
He  turned  to  me  and  said — quoting  chapter  and  verse  in 
the  Revelations,  "There  was  silence  in  heaven." 

So  when  I  met  the  Grand  Duchess  Olga  again,  when 
I  accompanied  King  Edward  on  that  memorable  visit  to 
Reval — when,  as  Prince  Orloif,  the  Emperor's  principal 
aide-de-camp,  said  to  me,  King  Edward  changed  the  at- 
mosphere of  Russian  feelings  towards  England  from  sus- 
picion to  cordial  trust — there  was  quite  an  affectionate 
meeting,  and  we  danced  the  "Merry  Widow"  waltz — a 
then  famous  stage  performance — with  such  effect  as  to 
make  the  Empress  of  Russia  laugh.  They  told  me  she 
had  not  laughed  for  two  years.  At  the  banquet  preced- 
ing the  dance  the  Grand  Duchess  and  I,  I  regret  to  say, 
made  such  a  disturbance  in  our  mutual  jokes  that  King 
Edward  called  out  to  me  that  I  must  try  to  remember 
that  it  was  not  the  Midshipmen's  Mess;  and  my  dear 
Grand  Duchess  thought  I  should  be  sent  to  Siberia  or 
somewhere.  We  sailed  at  daylight,  and  I  got  a  letter 
from  her  when  I  arrived  in  England  saying  she  had  made 
a  point  of  seeing  Uncle  Bertie  and  that  it  was  all  right, 
I  was  not  going  to  be  punished.  Then  she  went  on  to 
describe  that  she  had  had  a  very  happy  day  (being  her 
birthday)  picknicking  in  the  woods;  the  only  drawback 


SOME  SPECIAL  MISSIONS          231 

was,  she  told  me,  that  the  gnats  would  bite  her  ankles. 
Being,  at  that  period,  both  a  courtier  and  a  sycophant,  I 
telegraphed  to  her  at  some  Palace  she  was  at  in  Russia 
to  say  "I  wished  to  God  I  had  been  one  of  the  gnats." 
It  was  weeks  before  she  got  the  telegram,  as  the  Russian 
Secret  Department  believed  it  was  from  some  anarchist, 
and  was  a  cypher  for  bombing  the  Emperor  or  something 
of  the  sort,  and  there  was  a  lot  of  bother  to  trace  out  who 
had  sent  it. 

I  find  among  my  papers  another  charming  letter  which 
I  received  from  the  Grand  Duchess  Olga.  It  runs: 

PETERHOF. 
11/25  July,  1909. 

DEAE  ADMIRAL, 

I  have  been  going  to  write  to  you  for  ever  so  long 
and  now  is  a  chance  to  send  you  a  few  lines. 

How  are  you  getting  on?  We  speak  of  you  very  often. 
I  suppose  you'll  be  going  to  Carlsbad  this  automn — and 
I  am  very  sorry  that  we  are  not  going — so  as  to  meet 
you  there! 

I  have  a  great  favour  to  ask  you — but  as  I  believe  and 

think  you  can  grant  it — I  shall  ask:  Lieutenant of 

your  Royal  Navy — whom  we  got  to  like  very  much  two 
years  ago  at  Sorrento — is  willing  to  come  this  automn  and 
spend  a  month  with  us  at  our  country  place — if  he  gets 
leaves  of  course;  I  write  all  this  to  you  as  I  don't  know 
who  else  can  help  and  give  him  leave. 

We  should  like  to  have  him  about  the  middle  of  your 
September  (the  very  beginning  of  ours).  If  you  think 
he  can  get  leave  just  then  would  you  kindly  telegraph 
to  me — then  I  could  write  and  ask  him  ( I  suppose  he  will 
be  at  Cowes?).  Today  is  my  namesday,  and  having  re- 
ceived any  amounts  of  presents — we  are  going  to  Church 
— as  one  always  does — on  such  occasions  and  then  there 
will  be  a  rather  big  lunch  and  the  band  will  play — All 
this  glorious  occasion  is  not  only  for  me — but  also  for  my 
niece  Olga. 


232  MEMORIES 

My  sister  Xenia — who  does  not  know  you — says  she  is 
sorry  not  to  have  that  honour  and  pleasure! 

My  husband  sends  his  best  love  (or  whatever  one  says) . 
Goodbye  dear  Admiral.  I  wish  I  was  going  to  see  you 
soon;  it  would  be  awfully  amusing.  Write  to  me  later 
on  when  you  will  be  free  please! 

Much  love  and  good  wishes. 

OLGA. 

P.S.  Mrs.  Francklin  sends  lots  of  kind  messages  and 
love.  Mama  sends  her  best  love  too. 


That  visit  of  King  Edward  to  Russia  was  really  quite 
remarkable  for  the  really  eloquent  speech  the  King  made, 
without  a  note  of  any  sort.  I  said  to  him  at  breakfast 
the  next  morning,  when  they  brought  in  a  copy  of  what 
they  thought  he  had  said,  that  I  wondered  on  such  a  mo- 
mentous occasion  he  didn't  have  it  written  out.  "Well!" 
he  said  to  me,  "I  did  try  that  once,  when  the  French 
President  Loubet  came  to  visit  me,  and  I  learnt  the  speech 
off  by  heart  in  the  garden  of  Buckingham  Palace.  When 
I  got  up  to  say  it,  I  could  not  remember  it,  and  had  to 
keep  on  beginning  again  at  the  beginning.  So  I  said  to 
myself,  'Never  again'!"  And  I  must  say  I  share  his  con- 
viction that  there  is  no  such  eloquence  as  when  out  of  the 
abundance  of  the  heart  the  mouth  speaketh.  Emotion  and 
earnestness  will  do  much  more  than  move  mountains ;  they 
will  move  multitudes — and  that  was  what  King  Edward 
was  able  to  do. 

I  have  spoken  elsewhere  of  what  I  deemed  was  a  suit- 
able epitaph  for  him — those  great  words  of  Pascal:  "le 
cceur  a  ses  raisons  que  la  raison  ne  connait  point."  The 
heart  has  reasons  that  the  mind  knows  nothing  about. 

God  bless  him! 

Stolypin,  when  we  met  him  at  Reval  on  King  Ed- 
ward's visit  to  the  Czar,  was  described  to  us  as  the  great- 


SOME  SPECIAL  MISSIONS          233 

est,  the  bravest  and  most  single-minded  Prime  Minister 
that  Russia  had  ever  possessed.  He  spoke  English 
fluently,  and  certainly  was  very  pro-English.  He  was 
beyond  deception.  His  only  daughter,  he  told  me,  had 
been  killed  by  a  bomb  while  he  was  walking  with  her  in 
the  garden,  and  one  of  his  hands  was  greatly  mutilated 
by  the  same  explosion.  He  was  murdered  at  the  theatre 
at  Moscow  not  very  long  afterwards.  We  had  many  con- 
versations together.  He  said  it  was  criminal  folly  having 
the  capital  of  Russia  elsewhere  than  inland,  as  at  Mos- 
cow, for  that  Petersburg  was  open  to  German  attack  by 
sea.  He  seemed  to  have  a  prophetic  view  of  England's 
imbecility  as  regards  using  her  enormous  sea  supremacy 
to  prevent  the  Baltic  becoming  a  German  lake,  as  it  be- 
came in  the  war,  though  we  were  five  times  stronger  than 
the  German  Fleet.  So  it  passed  by  as  an  idle  dream,  any 
idea  of  England's  interference,  and  alas!  he  remembered 
our  betrayal  of  Denmark  when  the  Germans  took  Kiel 
and  Schleswig-Holstein. 

Stolypin  repeatedly  said  to  me  the  German  frontier 
was  his  one  and  only  thought,  and  he  was  devoting  all  his 
life  to  make  that  frontier  impregnable  against  Germany, 
both  in  men  and  munitions,  and  strategic  arrangements. 
But  he  did  not  live  long  enough  to  carry  out  his  scheme. 

CARTAGENA 

I  also  went  with  King  Edward  to  Cartagena,  when  he 
returned  the  King  of  Spain's  visit.  King  Alfonso,  whom 
I  had  previously  met  in  England,  was  very  cordial  to  me 
because  we  had  seven  "Dreadnoughts"  ready  before  the 
Germans  had  one.  In  fact,  when  I  told  him  this  piece 
of  news,  as  we  were  walking  up  and  down  the  deck,  with 
King  Edward  and  Queen  Alexandra  watching  us  from 


234  MEMORIES 

two  deck-chairs,  King  Alfonso  was  so  delighted  that  he 
threw  his  arms  round  my  neck,  cried  "You  darling!"  and 
kissed  me.  Then  he  put  his  hand  in  his  waistcoat  pocket, 
took  out  a  chocolate  and  popped  it  into  my  mouth.  He 
gave  me  the  highest  Spanish  Order  he  could.  But  when 
the  box  came  on  board  containing  it,  it  turned  out  to  be 
the  Order  of  Isabella  the  Catholic,  which  is  only  given 
to  Roman  Catholics ;  but  the  interesting  thing  is  that  when 
I  was  a  little  Midshipman  I  had  been  reading  "Ferdinand 
and  Isabella,"  and  I  remember  saying  to  my  messmates 
that  I  intended  some  day  to  have  the  Order  of  Isabella 
the  Catholic.  And  when,  some  years  after,  as  a  Lieuten- 
ant it  was  the  fashion  to  wear  medal  ribbons  in  a  rosette, 
upon  some  supercilious  officer  asking  me  what  "that  thing" 
was  in  my  button-hole,  I  quite  remember  saying,  by  way 
of  pulling  his  leg,  that  it  was  the  Spanish  Order  of  Isa- 
bella the  Catholic.  However,  I  got  the  proper  Order  in 
time  to  wear  at  the  banquet. 

The  banquet  was  a  very  fine  sight,  as  King  Alfonso 
had  brought  down  the  tapestries,  pictures  and  other  orna- 
ments from  the  Escurial.  The  Spanish  Admirals  were  a 
grand  sight.  They  wore  the  ancient  uniform,  and  each 
had  a  great  Malacca  cane  with  a  big  gold  top.  They  all 
came  on  board  to  call  on  King  Edward  in  an  old-fashioned 
pulling  barge,  and  the  sailors  wore  crimson  and  gold 
sashes.  That  rowing  barge  and  the  splendid  uniforms 
lay  at  the  root  of  one  occasion  when  King  Edward  was 
really  angry  with  me.  I  had  been  arranging  for  him  the 
details  of  the  great  Naval  Review  and  was  summoned  to 
Buckingham  Palace  to  discuss  them  with  him.  I  found 
no  Equerries  in  attendance,  no  one  about,  and  the  King 
white  with  anger.  "So!"  he  cried  out  to  me,  "I'm  to  go 
by  such  and  such  a  train,  am  I?  And  I'm  to  embark  at 
such  and  such  a  time,  am  I?  And  I'm  to  use  your  barge 


SOME  SPECIAL  MISSIONS          235 

because  it's  a  better  barge  than  mine,  is  it?  Look  here, 
am  I  the  King  or  are  you?"  The  upshot  of  the  interview 
was  that  he  threw  the  papers  on  the  floor,  with  "Have  it 
your  own  way!"  But  the  secret  cause  of  his  anger  was 
that  he  had  made  up  his  mind  to  go  off  in  a  rowing-boat 
like  the  Spanish  Admirals,  forgetting  that  there  is  no  tide 
at  Cartagena,  whereas  the  tide  at  Cowes  runs  many  knots, 
and  it  would  have  taken  a  rowing-boat  hours  to  do  what 
the  barge  could  do  in  a  few  minutes. 

KIAMIL  PASHA 

One  of  the  most  pleasurable  incidents  of  my  holding 
the  appointment  of  Commander-in- Chief  of  the  Mediter- 
ranean Fleet  was  going  to  Smyrna  to  do  honour  to  that 
splendid  old  Turk,  Kiamil  Pasha.  He  was  then  Vali,  or 
Governor,  of  the  Province  of  Smyrna.  He  was  most 
hale  and  vigorous.  He  so  delighted  me  with  his  conver- 
sations and  experiences  that  it's  a  sincere  joy  to  me  now 
to  recall,  even  in  this  humble  way,  what  a  magnificent 
old  man  he  was,  and  how  he  had  so  often  placed  his  life 
in  jeopardy  for  the  sake  of  right  and  for  the  good  of  his 
country,  which  last,  he  said  (he  spoke  most  fluent  Eng- 
lish), had  been  "imperishably  bound  up  with  England's 
righteous  work  in  the  East."  He  had  been  many  times 
Grand  Vizier,  and  he  knew  all  the  secret  incidents  follow- 
ing and  preceding  the  Crimean  War.  And  he  said  fer- 
vidly that  England  was  the  only  nation  that  never  asked 
and  never  schemed  to  get  anything  out  of  Turkey.  And 
he  said  it  was  only  the  insensate  folly  of  the  English  Au- 
thorities that  could  ever  have  dislodged  England  from 
her  wonderful  supremacy  over  the  minds  of  the  whole 
Turkish  people.  I  told  him,  in  return,  that  the  English 
treatment  of  Turkey  was  only  on  a  par  with  the  English 


236  MEMORIES 

folly  of  giving  up  Heligoland,  Corfu,  Tangier,  Minorca, 
Java,  Sumatra,  Cura9oa  (the  key  of  the  Panama  Canal), 
Delagoa  Bay  (the  only  harbour  in  Africa),  and  so  on, 
and  so  on,  and  explained,  to  his  delighted  amusement, 
that  we  were  a  nation  of  Lions  led  by  Asses.  He  pretty 
well  foretold  all  that  has  happened  since  1902. 

With  respect  to  Tangier,  which  was  the  dowry  of  Hen- 
rietta Maria,  I  diverge  a  moment  to  mention  that  a  great 
Spaniard  in  high  office  once  said  to  me  that  it  was  a  curi- 
ous fact  that  whenever  Spain  had  left  the  side  of  Eng- 
land she  had  inevitably  come  to  grief. 

Following  on  Kiamil's  wonderful  prescience,  I  found 
on  my  visit  to  the  Sultan,  who  had  invited  me  to  Con- 
stantinople, that  all  I  had  heard  from  him  about  Bulgaria 
was  confirmed  at  Constantinople.  One  and  all  said  that 
Bulgaria  was  the  fighting  nation,  and  that  Bulgaria  was 
the  Key  of  the  East.  I  was  so  saturated  with  the  im- 
portance of  this  fact  that  I  spoke  to  Kitchener  about  it 
when  the  War  commenced,  but  we  did  not  give  Bulgaria 
what  she  wanted,  and  when,  a  year  afterwards,  she  was 
offered  the  same  terms  it  was  too  late. 

A  great  Bank  always,  I  believe,  has  a  travelling  in- 
spector who  visits  all  the  branches.  We  want  such  a  per- 
sonage to  visit  all  our  representatives  in  foreign  lands, 
and  see  what  they  have  done  for  England  in  the  previous 
year. 


CHAPTER  XV 

SOME   PERSONALITIES 

AMONGST  the  13  First  Lords  of  the  Admiralty  I  have 
had  to  deal  with  (and  with  nine  of  them  I  was  very  inti- 
mately associated)  I  should  like  to  record  that  in  my 
opinion  Lord  George  Hamilton  and  Lord  Spencer  had 
the  toughest  jobs,  because  of  the  constitution  of  their 
respective  Boards  of  Admiralty;  and  yet  neither  of  them 
received  the  credit  each  of  them  deserved  for  his  most 
successful  administration.  With  both  of  them  their  tact 
was  unsurpassable.  They  had  to  deal  with  extremely  able 
colleagues,  and  my  experience  is  that  it  is  not  a  good 
thing  to  have  a  lot  of  able  men  associated  together.  If 
you  take  a  little  of  the  best  Port  Wine,  the  best  Cham- 
pagne, the  best  Claret,  and  the  best  Hock  and  mix  them 
together,  the  result  is  disastrous.  So  often  is  it  with  a 
Board  of  Admiralty.  That's  why  I  have  suffered  fools 
gladly  1  But  Lord  George  Hamilton  and  Lord  Spencer 
had  an  awful  time  of  it.  To  both  of  these  (I  consider) 
great  men  I  am  very  specially  beholden.  Lord  kGeorge 
Hamilton  more  particularly  endured  much  on  my  behalf 
when  I  was  Director  of  Naval  Ordnance,  fighting  the 
War  Office.  It  was  his  own  decision  that  sent  me  to 
Portsmouth  as  Admiral  Superintendent  of  the  Dockyard, 
and  thus  enabled  me  practically  to  prove  the  wisdom  and 
the  economy  of  concentrating  workmen  on  one  ship  like 
a  hive  of  bees  and  adopting  piece-work  to  the  utmost 
limit.  Cannot  anyone  realise  that  if  you  have  your  men 

237 


238  MEMORIES 

spread  over  many  ships  building,  your  capital  is  produc- 
ing no  dividend  as  compared  with  getting  a  ship  rushed 
and  sent  to  sea  ready  to  fight?  I  was  held  up  as  a  dra- 
matic poseur  because  the  "Dreadnought"  was  built  in  a 
year  and  a  day.  Yes!  She  was  ready  to  fight  in  a  year 
and  a  day.  She  did  fire  her  guns.  The  "Inflexible,"  her 
famous  prototype  in  former  years,  which  I  commanded, 
was  four  or  five  years  building.  I  took  up  the  battleship 
"Royal  Sovereign"  when  I  went  as  Superintendent  of 
Portsmouth  Dockyard  and  got  her  completed  within  two 
years,  and  thereby  saw  my  way  to  doing  it  in  a  year.  And 
so  would  I  have  done  the  famous  "Hush  Hush"  ships,  as 
I  said  I  would;  only  circumstances  brought  about  my 
departure  from  the  Admiralty,  and  apathy  came  back, 
and  those  "Hush  Hush"  ships  consequently  took  more 
than  a  year  to  build.  And  some  armchair  quill-drivers 
still  sling  ink  at  'em.  And  when  I  heard  from  an  eye- 
witness how  the  whole  lot  of  German  cruisers  did  flee 
when  they  appeared  and  ought  to  have  been  gobbled  up 
I  rubbed  my  hands  with  malignant  glee  at  the  devasta- 
tion of  my  pen-and-ink  enemies.  As  usual  in  the  war,  on 
that  occasion  the  business  wasn't  pushed  home. 

To  revert  to  my  theme — I  owe  also  a  great  debt  to 
Lord  George  Hamilton,  when  at  a  previous  stage  of  my 
career  he  dissuaded  me  from  accepting  an  offer  from 
Lord  Rothschild,  really  beyond  the  dreams  of  avarice,  of 
becoming  the  head  of  a  great  armament  and  shipbuilding 
combine,  which  accordingly  fell  through  on  my  refusal. 
Had  I  gone,  I'd  have  been  a  millionaire  instead  of  a 
pauper  as  I  am  now;  but  I  wouldn't  have  been  First 
Sea  Lord  from  1904  to  1910  and  then  "Sacking  the  Lot!" 
Lord  George  also  selected  me  to  be  Controller  of  the 
Navy. 

Lord  Spencer  called  a  horse  after  me — almost  as  great 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  239 

an  honour.  Lord  Spencer  was  really  a  very  magnificent 
man,  and  he  had  the  attributes  of  his  great  ancestor,  who 
selected  Nelson  over  a  great  many  of  his  seniors  to  go 
and  win  the  Battle  of  the  Nile.  There  was  no  one  else 
who  would  have  done  it;  and  when  Sir  John  Orde,  one 
of  the  aggrieved  Admirals,  told  the  King  that  the  selected 
Nelson  was  mad,  he  replied,  "I  wish  to  God  he  would 
bite  you  all!"  My  Lord  Spencer  had  the  same  gift  of 
selection — it's  the  biggest  gift  that  a  man  in  such  a  posi- 
tion can  have,  and  the  life,  the  fate  of  his  country  may 
depend  upon  him.  Only  war  finds  out  poltroons.  Lord 
Spencer  turned  out  his  master,  to  whom  he  was  faithfully 
devoted,  when  he  saw  the  Navy  was  in  danger  and  that 
Mr.  Gladstone  would  not  agree  to  strengthen  it.  His 
manners  were  superb.  He  satisfied  that  great  description 
of  what  constitutes  a  gentleman:  "He  never  hurt  any 
man's  feelings." 

There's  another  First  Lord  I  have  too  faintly  alluded 
to — Lord  Northbrook.  He  also  was  a  great  man,  but  he 
was  not  considered  so  by  the  populace.  He  was  a  victim 
to  his  political  associates — they  let  him  in.  His  finance 
at  the  Admiralty  was  bad  through  no  fault  of  his,  and  he 
was  persuaded  to  go  to  Egypt,  which  I  think  was  a  mis- 
take. I  stayed  with  him,  and  the  miscroscope  of  home 
revealed  him  to  me.  His  conceptions  were  magnificent 
and  his  decisions  were  like  those  of  the  Medes  and  Per- 
sians. Of  all  the  awful  people  in  the  world  nothing  is 
so  terrible  as  a  vacillator.  I  am  not  sure  the  Devil  isn't 
right  when  he  says,  "Tell  a  lie  and  stick  to  it."  Lord 
Northbrook  also  in  spite  of  intense  opposition  laid  hold 
of  my  hand  and  led  me  forth  in  the  paths  I  glory  in,  of 
Reform  and  Revolution.  Stagnation,  in  my  opinion,  is 
the  curse  of  life.  I  have  no  fellow-feeling  with  those 
placid  souls  who,  like  a  duck-pond,  torpid  and  quiescent, 


240  MEMORIES 

live  the  life  of  cabbages.  I  don't  believe  anybody  can 
say,  "Of  such  is  the  Kingdom  of  Heaven,"  because  it  is 
immortally  shown  that  strife  is  the  secret  of  a  good  life. 

As  with  Lord  Spencer,  so  was  it  with  Lord  Selborne. 
He  again,  as  First  Lord  of  the  Admiralty,  took  the  un- 
usual course  of  kindly  coming  to  Malta  to  see  me  when  I 
commanded  the  Mediterranean  fleet  (the  Boer  War 
placed  England  in  a  very  critical  position  at  that  time) ; 
and  though  there  was  a  great  strife  with  the  Admiralty 
he  chose  me  after  my  three  years  as  Commander-in-Chief 
to  be  Second  Sea  Lord  of  the  Admiralty  and  permitted 
me  to  unfold  a  scheme  of  education  which  came  into  being 
on  the  following  Christmas  Day  without  the  alteration  of 
a  comma.  More  than  that,  he  benevolently  spared  me 
from  the  Admiralty  to  become  Commander-in-Chief  at 
Portsmouth,  to  see  that  scheme  carried  out.  Many  letters 
have  I  that  that  step  indicated  the  end  of  my  naval  career. 
I  believe  to  that  date  it  always  has  been  so,  but  within  a 
year  I  was  First  Sea  Lord,  and  never  did  any  First  Lord 
hold  more  warmly  the  hand  of  his  principal  adviser  than 
Lord  Selborne  held  mine. 

There  are  few  people  living  to  whom  I  am  under  a 
greater  obligation  than  Admiral  Sir  Francis  Bridgeman, 
G.C.B.  This  distinguished  sailor  aided  me  in  the  gradual 
building  up  of  the  Grand  Fleet.  As  I  have  said  before, 
it  had  to  be  done  unostentatiously  and  by  slow  degrees, 
for  fear  of  exciting  the  attention  of  the  German  Ad- 
miralty and  too  much  embroiling  myself  with  the  Admirals 
whose  fleets  had  to  be  denuded  till  they  disappeared,  so 
as  to  come  under  Admiral  Sir  Francis  Bridgeman's  com- 
mand, with  whom  the  Grand  Fleet  originated  under  the 
humble  designation  of  the  Home  Fleet — a  gathering  and 
perpetuation  of  the  old  more  or  less  stationary  coast- 
guard ships  scattered  all  round  the  United  Kingdom  and, 


8IH  JOHN  FISHER   AT  THE   HAGUE   PEACE  COXFEREXCE,  MAY,  1899 


[240 


By  kind  permission   of  "The  Daily   Exprtt*1 


THE    ANNIVERSARY    Of   TRAFALGAR 


NELSON  (ire  Trafalgar  Square) :— "I  was  on  my  way  down  to  lend  them  a 
hand  myself,  but  if  Jacky  Fisher's  taking  on  the  job  there's  no  need  for  me 
to  be  nervous;  I'll  get  back  on  my  pedestal." 

Nelson  looking  up  Sir  John  Fisher  on  his  first  day  as  First  Sea  Lord, 
Trafalgar  Day,  1904. 


By  kind  permission  of  "London  Opinion' 


AMERICA  AND  THE   BLOCKADE 


"Why  Mr.  Wilson  should  expect  this  country  to  refrain  from  exercising  a 
right  in  return  for  Germany's  refraining  from  committing  wrongs  is  not 
very  clear  to  the  ordinary  intelligence." — Daily  Paper. 

DAME  WILSON  (to  P.  C.  Fisher) :— "Oh,  Constable!  Don't  hurt  him.  I'm  sure 
he  won't  murder  anyone  else !" 


Portrait  by  J.  Maltia  &  Co.,  Valetta 


COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF   OF   THE    MEDITERRANEAN'    FLEET,    1899-1902 


[241 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  241 

as  the  old  phrase  was,  "Grounding  on  their  beef  bones"  as 
they  swung  with  the  tide  at  their  anchors.  In  the  Provi- 
dence of  God  the  animosities  of  the  Admirals  thus  en- 
gendered caused  the  real  success  of  the  whole  scheme — 
and  what  should  have  been  as  clear  as  crystal  to  the  least 
observant  onlooker  was  obscured  by  the  fumes  of  anger 
exuding  from  these  scandalised  Admirals.  I  look  back 
with  astonishment  at  my  Job-like  conduct,  but  it  had  its 
compensations.  I  hope  Sir  Francis  Bridgeman  will  for- 
give me  for  hauling  him  into  this  book — I  have  no  other 
way  of  showing  him  my  eternal  gratitude;  and  it.  was 
with  intense  delight  that  I  congratulated  Mr.  Churchill 
on  obtaining  his  services  to  succeed  Sir  Arthur  Wilson, 
the  First  Sea  Lord,  who  had  so  magnificently  adhered  to 
the  scheme  I  left. 

Sir  Arthur  refused  a  Peerage,  and  he  was  a  faithful 
and  self-effacing  friend  in  his  room  at  the  Admiralty  those 
seven  fateful  months  I  was  First  Sea  Lord  during  the 
war.  It  was  peculiarly  fortunate  and  providential  that 
the  two  immediately  succeeding  First  Sea  Lords  after 
my  departure  on  January  25th,  1910,  should  have  been 
the  two  great  sailors  they  were — otherwise  there  would 
have  been  no  Grand  Fleet — they  altered  nothing,  and 
the  glacier  moved  along,  resistless  and  crushing  all  the 
obstacles  in  its  path,  and  now,  after  the  war,  it  has  passed 
on;  the  dead  corpses  of  the  foes  of  the  scheme  are  dis- 
closed, and  we'll  bury  them  without  comment. 

I  began  these  talks  by  solemnly  declaring  that  I  would 
not  mention  a  single  living  name — please  let  it  stand — 
it  shows  what  one's  intention  was ;  but  one  is  really  forced 
to  stand  up  to  such  outstanding  personalities  as  Sir  Ar- 
thur Wilson  and  Sir  Francis  Bridgeman,  and  I  again 
repeat  with  all  the  emphasis  at  my  command  that  it  would 
have  been  impossible  to  have  conducted  those  eight  great* 


242  MEMORIES 

years  of  ceaseless  reform,  culminating  in  the  production  of 
the  most  incomparable  fleet  that  ever  existed,  had  not  the 
two  Political  Administrations,  four  First  Lords,  and  every 
member  of  the  several  Boards  of  Admiralty  been,  as  I 
described  them  in  public,  united,  determined,  and  pro- 
gressive. Never  for  one  instant  did  a  single  Board  of 
Admiralty  during  that  time  lay  on  its  oars.  For  to  rest 
on  our  oars  would  not  have  been  standing  still ;  the  malig- 
nant tide  was  fierce  against  us,  and  the  younger  Officers 
of  the  fleet  responded  splendidly. 

On  January  3rd,  1903,  I  wrote  as  follows  in  reply  to 
some  criticism  of  me  as  First  Sea  Lord: — 

"Our  Fleets  are  50  per  cent,  more  at  sea,  and  we  hit 
the  target  50  per  cent,  more  than  we  did  two  years  ago. 

"In  the  first  year  there  were  2,000  more  misses  than 
hits! 

"In  the  second  year  there  were  2,000  more  hits  than 
misses!" 

The  very  first  thing  I  did  when  I  returned  to  the  Ad- 
miralty as  First  Sea  Lord  for  those  seven  months  in  the 
first  year  of  the  war  was  instantly  to  get  back  Sir  Percy 
Scott  into  the  Fighting  Arena.  I  had  but  one  answer  to 
all  his  detractors  and  to  the  opposition  to  his  return: — 

"He  hits  the  target!" 

He  also  was  maliciously  maligned.  I  don't  mean  to 
say  that  Sir  Percy  Scott  indulges  in  soft  soap  towards 
his  superiors.  I  don't  think  he  ever  poured  hot  water 
down  anybody's  back.  Let  us  thank  God  he  didn't! 

I  have  repeatedly  said  (and  I  reiterate  it  whenever  I 
get  the  chance)  that  Nelson  was  nothing  if  he  was  not 
insubordinate.  Nelson's  four  immortal  Big  Fights  are 
brilliant  and  everlasting  testimonies  to  the  virtues  of  Self- 
Assertion,  Self -Reliance,  and  Contempt  of  Authority. 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  243 

But  of  Nelson  and  the  Nelsonic  attributes  I  treat  in  an- 
other place.  (Ah !  Lord  Rosebery,  if  only  you  had  written 
"Nelson's  Last  Phase"!  I  entreated  you,  but  without 
avail!)  (Again  a  repetition!)  Nelson's  Life  not  yet 
written!  Southey's  Life,  meant  only  for  schoolboys,  still 
holds  the  field.  W.  T.  Stead  might  have  done  it,  for  the 
sacred  fire  of  Great  Emotions  was  the  calorific  of  Stead's 
Internal  Combustion  Engine.  Suffice  it  to  say  of  Sir 
Percy  Scott  that  it  was  he  and  he  alone  who  made  the 
first  start  of  the  Fleet's  hitting  the  enemy  and  not  missing 
him.  Why  hasn't  he  been  made  a  Viscount?  But  that  is 
reserved  for  those  in  another  sphere! 

"The  Tides — and  Sir  Frederick  Treves." — One  of  my 
greatest  benefactors  (he  saved  my  life.  Six  doctors 
wanted  to  operate  on  me — he  wouldn't  have  it;  the  conse- 
quence— I'm  better  now  than  ever  I  was  in  my  life)  is 
Sir  Frederick  Treves,  Surgeon,  Orator,  Writer,  "De- 
veloper of  the  Powers  of  Observation."  He,  this  morn- 
ing, September  16th,  1919,  gives  me  something  to  think 
about.  It  has  relation  to  my  dear  and  splendid  friend 
Sir  Charles  Parsons,  President  of  the  British  Association 
and  inventor  of  the  Turbine,  who  said  the  other  day  at 
Bournemouth  that  our  coal  bids  fair  to  fail  and  we  must 
seek  other  sources  of  power.  Considering  that  Sir  Charles 
invented  the  Turbine — derided  by  everyone  as  a  box  of 
tricks,  and  it  now  monopolises  80  per  cent,  of  the  horse- 
power of  the  world — we  ought  to  listen  to  him.  His  idea 
is  to  dig  a  twelve-mile  hole  into  the  earth  to  get  hold  of 
power.  Now  Sir  Frederick  in  his  letter  this  morning  uses 
these  words : 

"England  is  an  Island.  We  are  surrounded  on  all 
sides  with  the  greatest  source  of  power  in  the  world — the 
Tides. 

"There  is  enough  force  in  the  Tides  to  light  and  heat 


244  MEMORIES 

the  whole  country,  and  to  run  all  its  railways.  It  is  run- 
ning to  waste  while  we  are  bellowing  for  coal." 

I  know  exactly  what  the  Royal  Society  will  say  to  Sir 
Frederick  Treves.  The  Royal  Society,  not  so  many  years 
ago,  said  through  one  of  its  most  distinguished  members 
that  the  aeroplane  was  a  physical  impossibility.  When 
I  said  this  to  Sir  Hiram  Maxim  he  placed  his  thumb  to 
his  nose  and  extended  his  fingers ;  and,  as  I  have  remarked 
elsewhere,  aeroplanes  are  now  as  plentiful  as  sparrows. 
So  do  not  let  us  put  Sir  Frederick  Treves  in  the  waste 
paper  basket.  He's  a  great  man.  When  Lord  Lister 
and  my  dear  friend  Sir  Thomas  Smith  were  beholding 
him  operating  on  King  Edward  at  the  time  when  his  ill- 
ness stopped  his  Coronation — even  those  two  wonderful 
surgeons  held  their  breath  at  Treves's  astounding  skill  and 
confidence.  He  kept  on,  and  saved  King  Edward's  life. 
There  was  no  "Not  running  risks"  with  him.  He  snatched 
his  King  from  death.  The  others  both  thought  Death  had 
won,  and  they  both  exclaimed! 

Sir  Frederick  won't  see  this  until  he  reads  it  in  his 
presentation  copy  of  this  book,  or  he  wouldn't  have  it. 

And  then  he  is  so  choice  in  his  educational  ideas. 
Here's  a  lovely  morsel,  which  I  commend  to  Schoolmas- 
ters (Curse  'em!  they  ruined  Osborne).  Sir  Frederick 
says : — 

"Our  present  system  of  education  is  on  a  par  with 
the  Training  of  Performing  Dogs,  they're  merely  taught 
tricks!  and  Trick  antics  do  not  help  a  boy  much  in  the 
serious  business  of  life.  There  is  no  attempt  to  get  at 
the  mind  of  a  boy,  and  still  less  any  attempt  to  find  out 
his  particular  abilities.  The  only  thing  is,  Is  he  good  at 
Mental  Acrobatics?  A  very  fine  book  on  'The  New  Edu- 
cation' *  was  published  in  the  Autumn  of  last  year,  1918. 

"The  New  Teaching,"  edited  by  John  Adams.     Hodder  and  Stoughton. 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  245 

It  shows  up  the  wasteful  absurdities  of  the  present  Edu- 
cational System.  Of  course,  no  attention  has  been  paid 
to  it,  because  it  is  so  simple,  so  evident,  and  so  human. 
.  .  .  Years  are  spent  in  teaching  a  boy  Latin  Verses,  but 
never  a  moment  to  teach  him  'How  to  develop  powers  of 
Observation'  *' 

I  could  tell  my  readers  instances  of  Sir  Frederick's 
powers  in  this  last  regard;  and  the  medical  students  dur- 
ing the  many  years  he  was  their  Lecturer  could  all  of 
them  do  Sir  Frederick  greater  justice  than  I  can. 

"God  bless  Sir  Frederick  Treves!" 

Of  all  the  famous  men  I  have  known,  Lord  Kelvin  had 
the  greatest  brain.  He  went  to  sea  with  me  in  many  new 
ships  that  I  commanded.  Once,  in  a  bleak  March  east 
wind  at  Sheerness  I  found  him  on  deck  on  a  high  pedestal 
exposed  to  the  piercing  blast  watching  his  wonderful  com- 
pass, and  he  had  only  a  very  thin  coat  on.  I  said:  "For 
goodness'  sake,  Sir  William,  come  down  and  put  on  a  great 
coat."  He  said:  "No,  thank  you,  I  am  quite  warm.  I've 
got  several  vests  on."  His  theory  was  that  it  was  much 
warmer  wearing  many  thin  vests  than  one  thick  one,  as 
the  interstices  of  one  were  filled  up  by  the  next  one,  and 
so  on.  I  explained  this  afterwards,  as  I  sat  one  day  at 
lunch  next  to  the  Emperor  of  Russia,  when  he  asked  me 
to  explain  my  youth  and  good  health,  and  I  hoped  that 
he  would  follow  Lord  Kelvin's  example,  as  I  did.  Lord 
Kelvin  got  this  idea  of  a  number  of  thin  vests  instead  of 
one  thick  one  from  the  Chinese,  who,  in  many  ways,  are 
our  superiors. 

For  instance,  a  Chinaman,  like  an  ancient  Greek  or 
Roman,  maintains  that  the  liver  is  the  seat  of  the  human 
affections.  We  believe  that  the  heart  is.  So  a  Chinese 
always  offers  his  hand  and  his  liver  to  the  young  lady  of 
his  choice.  Neither  do  they  ever  kiss  each  other  in  China. 


246  MEMORIES 

Confucius  stopped  it  because  the  lips  are  the  most  sus- 
ceptible portion  of  the  human  body  to  infection.  When 
two  Chinese  meet,  they  rub  their  knees  with  their  hands, 
and  say  "Ah"  with  a  deep  breath.  A  dear  friend  of  mine 
went  to  the  Viceroy  of  Nankin  to  enquire  how  his  newly- 
raised  Army  was  getting  on  with  the  huge  consignment 
of  magnificent  rifles  sent  out  from  England  for  its  use. 
The  Chinese  Viceroy  told  my  friend  he  was  immensely 
pleased  with  these  rifles,  and  the  reports  made  to  him 
showed  extraordinary  accuracy,  as  the  troops  hit  the  tar- 
get every  time.  The  Viceroy  sent  my  friend  up  in  a  Chi- 
nese gunboat  to  see  the  Army.  When  my  friend  landed 
he  was  received  by  the  Inspector-General  of  Musketry, 
who  was  a  peacock  feather  Mandarin,  and  taken  to  see  the 
soldiers  firing.  To  my  friend's  amazement  the  soldiers 
were  firing  at  the  targets  placed  only  a  few  hundred  yards 
off,  and  he  explained  to  the  Mandarin  that  these  wonder- 
ful rifles  fitted  with  telescopic  sights  were  meant  for  long 
ranges,  and  their  accuracy  was  wonderful.  The  Man- 
darin replied  to  him:  "Look  here!  my  orders  from  the 
Viceroy  are  that  every  man  in  the  army  should  hit  the 
target,  because  these  rifles  are  so  wonderfully  good,  and 
so  they  do,  and  the  Viceroy  is  very  pleased  at  my  reports." 
And  he  added:  "You  know,  we  go  back  2,000  years  be- 
fore your  people  in  our  knowledge  of  the  world." 

Lord  Kelvin  had  a  wonderful  gift  of  being  able  to 
pursue  abstruse  investigations  in  the  hubbub  of  a  drawing 
room  full  of  visitors.  He  would  produce  a  large  green 
book  out  of  a  gamekeeper's  pocket  he  had  at  the  back 
of  his  coat,  and  suddenly  go  ahead  with  figures.  I  had 
an  interesting  episode  once.  Sir  William  Thomson,  as 
he  then  was,  had  come  with  me  for  the  first  voyage  of  a 
new  big  cruiser  that  I  commanded.  I  had  arranged  for 
various  responsible  persons  to  report  to  me  at  8  a.m.  how 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  247 

various  parts  of  the  ship  were  behaving.  One  of  them 
reported  that  a  rivet  was  loose,  and  there  was  a  slight 
leak.  I  said  casually:  "I  wonder  how  much  water  would 
come  in  if  the  rivet  came  out  altogether."  Sir  William 
was  sitting  next  me  at  breakfast,  very  much  enjoying 
eggs  and  bacon,  and  he  asked  the  Officer:  "How  big  is  the 
rivet?"  and  whereabouts  it  was,  etc.  The  Officer  left,  and 
Sir  William  went  on  with  his  eggs  and  bacon,  and  I  talked 
to  Sir  Nathaniel  Barnaby  on  the  other  side  of  me,  who  was 
the  designer  of  the  ship  that  we  were  in.  Presently,  Sir 
William,  in  a  mild  voice,  never  having  ceased  his  eggs 
and  bacon,  said  so  much  water  would  come  in.  Sir  N. 
Barnaby  thereupon  worked  it  out  on  paper  and  said  to 
Sir  William:  "You  made  a  good  guess."  He  replied: 
"I  didn't  guess.  I  worked  it  out." 

The  Midshipmen  idolised  Lord  Kelvin,  and  they  were 
very  intimate  with  him.  I  heard  one  of  them,  who  was 
four-foot-nothing,  explain  to  Sir  William  how  to  make  a 
magnet.  Sir  William  listened  to  the  Midshipman's  lec- 
ture on  magnetism  with  the  greatest  deference,  and  gave 
the  little  boy  no  idea  of  what  a  little  ass  he  was  to  be 
talking  to  the  greatest  man  on  earth  on  the  subject  of 
magnetism.  The  same  little  boy  took  the  time  for  him 
in  observing  the  lighthouse  flashes,  and  Sir  William  wrote 
a  splendid  letter  to  The  Times  pointing  out  that  the  in- 
tervals of  darkness  should  be  the  exception,  and  the  flashes 
of  light  the  rule,  in  a  lighthouse,  whereupon  the  Chief 
Engineer  of  the  Lighthouse  Department  traversed  Sir 
William's  facts.  The  little  boy  came  up  to  Sir  William 
and  asked  him  if  he  had  read  the  letter,  and  he  hadn't,  so 
he  told  him  of  it  and  then  asked  Sir  William  if  he  would 
like  him  to  write  to  The  Times  to  corroborate  him.  Sir 
William  thanked  him  sweetly,  but  said  he  would  take  no 
notice,  as  they  would  alter  the  flashes,  and  so  they  did. 


248  MEMORIES 

This  little  boy  was  splendid.  He  played  me  a 
Machiavellian  trick.  We  had  an  ass  one  night  as  Officer 
of  the  Watch,  and  in  the  middle  watch  I  was  nearly  jerked 
out  of  my  cot  by  a  heavy  squall  striking  the  ship.  I 
rushed  upon  deck  (raining  torrents)  and  we  got  in  what 
was  left  of  the  sails,  and  I  came  down  soaked  through  and 
bitterly  cold,  and  on  the  main  deck  I  met  my  young  friend, 
the  little  Midshipman,  with  a  smoking  hot  bowl  of  cocoa. 
I  never  enjoyed  anything  more  in  my  life,  and  I  blessed 
the  little  boy,  but  it  suddenly  occurred  to  me  that  he  was 
as  dry  as  a  bone.  I  said:  "How  is  it  you  are  dressed?" 
He  said:  "I  am  Midshipman  of  the  watch."  I  said:  "The 
devil  you  are!  How  is  it  you  aren't  wet?"  "Well,  sir," 
he  said,  "I  thought  I  should  be  best  doing  my  duty  by 
going  below  and  making  you  a  bowl  of  cocoa."  I  felt  I 
had  sold  myself,  like  Esau,  for  a  mess  of  pottage.  He 
was  a  splendid  boy,  and  he  wrote  me  periodically  till  he 
died.  He  was  left  a  fortune.  He  was  turned  out  of  the 
Navy  for  knocking  his  Captain  down.  I  received  a  tele- 
gram to  say  that  he  was  ill  and  delirious  and  talking  of 
me  only,  and  almost  immediately  afterwards  a  telegram 
came  to  say  he  was  dead. 

Sir  Nathaniel  Barnaby,  the  eminent  Director  of  Naval 
Construction  at  the  Admiralty,  was  also  a  great  man,  but 
he  never  had  recognition.  He  was  not  self-assertive.  He 
was  as  meek  as  Moses,  and  he  was  a  saint.  It  was  he 
conceived  the  wonder  of  the  time — the  "Inflexible";  and 
I  was  her  first  Captain.  He  went  out  in  her  with  me  to 
the  Mediterranean.  We  had  an  awful  gale  in  the  Bay  of 
Biscay.  Sir  Nathaniel  nearly  died  with  sea-sickness.  I 
was  cheering  him  up,  and  he  whispered  in  reply:  "Fools 
build  houses  for  wise  men  to  live  in.  Wise  men  build  ships 
for  fools  to  go  in." 

If  ever  there  was  a  great  Christian,  he  was.     After 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  249 

he  retired  he  devoted  his  whole  life  to  Sunday  schools,  not 
only  in  this  country,  but  in  America.  There  was  some 
great  scheme,  of  which  he  gave  me  particulars  at  the  time, 
of  a  vast  association  of  all  Sunday  schools  wherever  the 
English  tongue  is  spoken.  Perhaps  it  is  in  being  now — 
I  don't  know;  but  it  was  a  fine  conception  that  on  some 
specified  day  throughout  the  world  every  child  should 
join  in  some  hymn  and  prayer  for  that  great  idea  of  John 
Bright's — the  Commonwealth  of  Free  Nations,  all  speak- 
ing the  same  grand  old  English  tongue.  I  was  too  busy 
ever  to  follow  that  up,  as  I  would  have  liked  to  have  done, 
and  been  his  missionary. 

A  letter  which  he  wrote  to  me  in  1910,  and  a  much 
earlier  note  of  mine  to  him,  which  he  enclosed  with  it, 
are  interesting,  and  I  give  them  here: 

Letter  from  Sir  Nathaniel  Barnaby,  K.C.B.   (formerly 
Chief  Constructor  of  the  Navy)  to  Lord  Fisher. 

MORAY  HOUSE, 
LE  WISH  AM,  S.  E. 
15th  January,  1910 

MY  DEAR  ADMIRAL, 

I  suppose  the  enclosed  brief  note  must  have  been 
written  by  you  to  me  over  a  quarter  of  a  century  ago. 
You  were  meditating  "Dreadnoughts"  even  then  and  find- 
ing in  me  the  opposition  on  the  ground  of  "the  degrada- 
tion of  our  other  Ironclads"  through  the  introduction  of 
the  "18-knot  Nonsuch.'  " 

I  have  said  to  you  before  that  I  love  a  man  who  knows 
his  own  mind,  and  insists  on  getting  his  way.  I  have 
therefore  no  complaint  to  make. 

In  a  note  dated  two  days  earlier  I  see  you  say,  "Bother 
the  money !  if  we  are  all  agreed  that  will  be  forthcoming." 

And  they  accuse  you  of  cheeseparing  and  starving  the 
Navy! 

It  was  I  that  stood  for  economy — see  enclosed,  on  the 
principal  events  affecting  and  indicating  Naval  Policy, 


250  MEMORIES 

1866-1884,  drawn  up  by  me  for  Mr.  Campbell-Banner- 
man. 

See  also  the  other  side  of  me  in  a  letter  to  the  Peace 
Society  People,  and  see  a  little  hymn  written  for  children 
to  "Russian  National  Anthem"  and  now  widely  sung. 
With  sincere  respect  and  good  wishes, 

Yours  always, 
(Signed)         NATHANIEL  BABNABY. 

Please  return  your  note  to  me;  nothing  else. 

This  was  the  old  letter  of  mine  which  he  enclosed: — 
From  Lord  Fisher  to  Sir  N.  Barnaby  in  1883. 

January  25th. 

I  have  delayed  sending  you  this  letter  hoping  to  find 
copy  of  a  brief  article  I  wrote  on  H.M.  Ironclad  "Non- 
such" of  18  knots,  after  seeing  your  design  A;  I  can't 
find  it,  and  have  written  for  the  original,  which  I  will 
send  for  your  amusement.  I  don't  think  your  argument 
is  a  sound  one  as  to  the  "degradation  of  our  other  iron- 
clads by  the  construction  of  an  18-knotter."  Isn't  the 
principle  right  to  make  each  succeeding  ironclad  an  im- 
provement and  as  perfect  as  you  can? 

THERE  IS  NO  PROGRESS  IN  UNIFORMITY!! 

We've  had  enough  of  the  "Admiral"  class  of  ship.    Now 
try  your  hand  on  a  "Nonsuch"  (of  vast  speed!) 

In  violent  haste, 

Ever  yours, 
(Sgd.)       J.  A.  F. 

"Build  few,  and  build  fast, 
Each  one  better  than  the  last." 

Two  of  Sir  Nanthaniel  Barnaby's  great  successors  in 
that  arduous  and  always  thankless  post  of  Director  of 
Naval  Construction  are  Sir  Philip  Watts  and  Sir  Eustace 
Tennyson-D'Eyncourt.  These  two  great  men  have  each 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  251 

of  them  done  such  service  as  should  have  brought  them 
far  greater  honour  than  as  yet  they  have  received.  The 
"Dreadnought"  could  not  have  been  born  but  for  Sir 
Philip  Watts.  I  commend  to  all  who  wish  to  have  a 
succinct  account  of  the  ships  of  the  British  Navy  that 
formed  the  line  of  battle  on  the  outbreak  of  war  on  the 
4th  August,  1914,  to  read  the  paper  delivered  by  Sir 
Philip  Watts  at  the  Spring  Meeting  of  the  Naval  Archi- 
tects on  the  9th  April,  1919,  when  a  very  excellent  Sea 
Officer  with  more  brains  than  most  people  I  have  met 
presided — being  the  Marquis  of  Bristol.  And  it  was  a 
great  delight  to  me  that  he  commanded  the  "Renown," 
my  favourite  ship,  to  bring  to  England  King  Alfonso — 
an  equally  admired  hero  of  mine.  If  ever  there  was  a 
brave  man  it  is  King  Alfonso. 

My  other  scientific  hero  besides  Sir  Philip  Watts  is 
Sir  Eustace  D'Eyncourt.  He  also  was  the  practical 
means,  besides  his  wonderful  professional  genius,  of  bring- 
ing forth  what  a*re  known  as  the  "Hush  Hush"  ships  on 
account  of  the  mystery  surrounding  their  construction; 
and  notwithstanding  the  armchair  "Know-alls"  who  have 
done  their  best  to  blast  their  reputation,  they  achieved — 
the  five  of  them — a  phenomenal  success.  Sir  Eustace 
D'Eyncourt  also  gave  us  those  incomparable  Monitors, 
with  their  bulges  under  water,  which  were  "given  away" 
through  the  unmitigated  folly  of  the  Censors,  who  per- 
mitted a  newspaper  correspondent  to  describe  how  he  had 
seen  men,  like  St.  Peter,  walking  on  the  water — they  were 
walking  on  the  protuberance  which  extended  under  the 
surface  as  the  absolute  protection  against  submarines; 
and  when  an  old  first-class  cruiser  called  the  "Grafton" 
had  been  so  made  submarine-proof,  the  captain  of  her, 
after  receiving  a  torpedo  fired  at  him  at  right  angles  and 
hitting  him  amidships,  reported  to  the  Admiralty  that 


252  MEMORIES 

she  went  faster  than  before,  simply  because  her  hull 
proper  had  not  been  touched;  the  submarine  had  only 
blown  away  the  submarine  obstruction  that  Sir  Eustace 
had  fitted  to  her.  Has  he  been  made  a  lord  ?  Personally 
I  should  say  the  tanks  could  never  have  existed  without 
him;  of  that  I  am  quite  sure.  Sir  Philip  Watts  and  Sir 
Eustace  D'Eyncourt  are  enshrined  in  my  heart. 

Previously  in  this  chapter  I  mentioned  Mr.  Gladstone. 
I  sat  next  to  him  at  dinner  once.  At  the  other  side  of 
him  was  a  very  beautiful  woman,  but  she  was  struck  dumb 
by  awe  of  Mr.  Gladstone,  so  he  turned  round  to  me  and 
asked  me  if  I  had  ever  been  in  China.  Yes,  I  had.  And 
he  asked  me  who  were  the  best  missionaries.  I  said  the 
Roman  Catholics  were  the  most  successful,  as  they  wore 
the  Chinese  dress,  were  untrammelled  by  families,  so  they 
got  better  amongst  the  people  in  the  interior,  but  further- 
more in  their  chapels  they  represented  our  Saviour  and 
His  Apostles  with  pigtails  and  dressed  as  Chinamen.  Yes, 
he  said,  he  remembered  that,  and  he  told  me  the  name 
of  the  Head  of  the  Roman  Catholic  Mission,  whose  name 
I  had  forgotten,  and  said  to  me  that  the  Pope  considered 
he  had  gone  too  far  in  that  respect,  and  had  recalled  him. 
That  had  happened  some  twenty  years  previously,  and  I 
had  forgotten  all  about  it.  Someone  said  what  a  pity  that 
all  that  is  now  being  said  is  being  lost.  Mr.  Gladstone 
said:  "Nothing  is  lost.  Science  will  one  day  take  off  the 
walls  of  this  room  what  we  have  been  saying."  This  was 
years  before  the  gramophone  and  the  dictaphone  and  the 
telephone.  He  told  us  a  great  deal  about  Abraham  and 
pigs,  and  why  Abraham  was  so  dead  against  them,  and 
how  he,  Gladstone,  had  been  driven  by  Daniel  O'Connell 
in  a  four-in-hand,  and  how  the  Bishops  in  his  early  days 
were  so  much  handsomer  than  now.  One  Bishop  he  spe- 
cially named  was  called  "The  Beauty  of  Holiness."  When 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  253 

he  left,  he  asked  me  to  walk  home  with  him,  which  I  did. 
Mrs.  Gladstone  said,  seated  inside  the  brougham  which 
was  waiting  at  the  door:  "Come  in,  William."  He  said: 
"No,  I  am  going  to  walk  with  this  young  man."  It  was 
midnight,  and  Piccadilly  was  quite  alive.  He  was  living 
with  Lady  Frederick  Cavendish,  I  think,  at  Carlton  Gar- 
dens. We  were  nearly  run  over,  as  he  was  regardless  of 
the  traffic.  I  remember  his  saying:  "Do  right,  and  you 
can  never  suffer  for  it."  I  thought  of  that  when,  in  my 
own  case  later  on,  it  was  "Athanasius  contra  Mundum." 
I  was  urged  only  to  attack  one  vested  interest  at  a  time, 
but  I  said,  "No,  if  you  kick  everyone's  shins  at  the  same 
time  they  won't  trouble  about  their  neighbours,"  and  it 
succeeded;  but  alas!  I  gave  up  one  thing,  which  was  the 
real  democratic  pith  and  marrow,  the  Free  Education  of 
the  Naval  Officer,  and  a  competence  from  the  moment  of 
entry,  and  open  to  all.  King  Edward  said  to  me  about 
this:  "You're  a  Socialist."  I  said  that  a  white  shirt  doesn't 
imply  the  best  brain.  We  have  forty  million  to  select 
from,  and  we  restrict  our  selection  to  about  one-fortieth 
of  the  population. 

I  here  relate  an  episode  which  made  a  deep  impression 
on  me  and  one  never  effaced.  At  the  time  of  Gladstone's 
death  I  was  looking  at  his  picture  in  a  shop  window.  Two 
working  men  were  doing  the  same.  The  one  said  to  the 
other:  "That  man  died  poor,  but  could  have  died  rich,  had 
he  used  his  knowledge  as  Prime  Minister  to  make  invest- 
ments quite  lawfully;  but  he  didn't!" 

It  really  is  a  very  fine  thing  in  the  public  men  of  this 
nation. 

I  have  always  worshipped  Abraham  Lincoln.  I  have 
elsewhere  related  how  he  never  argued  with  Judge  or  Jury 
or  anyone  else,  but  always  told  a  story,  thus  following 
that  great  and  inestimable  example  in  Holy  Writ:  "And 


254  MEMORIES 

without  a  parable  spake  he  not  unto  them."  But  one 
wishes  it  were  more  known  how  great  were  his  simple 
views.  His  sole  idea  of  a  Christian  Church  was  to  preach 
the  Saviour's  condensed  statement  "to  love  God  and  your 
Neighbour!"  He  said  that  summed  up  all  religion.  He 
gloried  in  having  been  himself  a  hired  labourer  and  be- 
lieved in  a  system  which  allowed  labourers  "to  strike" 
when  they  wanted  to,  and  did  not  oblige  them  to  labour 
whether  you  pay  them  or  not.  He  said:  "I  do  not  believe 
in  a  law  to  prevent  a  man  getting  rich  (that  would  do 
more  harm  than  good),  so  while  we  do  not  propose  any 
war  upon  Capital  we  do  wish  to  allow  the  humblest  an 
equal  chance  to  get  rich  with  everybody  else.  I  want 
every  man  to  have  a  chance  to  better  his  condition."  And 
what  Lincoln  says  of  diligence  is  very  good:  "The  leading 
rule  for  the  man  of  every  calling  is  DILIGENCE! 
Whatever  piece  of  business  you  have  in  hand,  before 
stopping  do  all  the  labour  pertaining  to  it  which  can  be 
done." 

That  most  moving  account  of  Lincoln's  simple  elo- 
quence at  the  graves  of  Gettysburg  is  a  most  touching 
episode.  The  thousands  listening  to  him  never  uttered 
a  sound.  There  was  a  dead  silence  when  he  stopped 
speaking.  He  left  thinking  himself  a  failure.  It  was 
the  success  of  his  life.  A  great  orator  just  before  him 
had  moved  the  multitude  to  cheer  unboundedly!  but  after 
Lincoln  their  feelings  made  them  dumb. 

While  on  personalities,  I  should  like  to  say  a  little 
on  one  of  the  best  friends  I  ever  had  and  in  my  opinion 
the  greatest  of  all  journalists.  Lord  Morley  once  told 
me  that  he  had  never  known  the  equal  of  W.  T.  Stead 
in  his  astounding  gift  of  catching  the  popular  feeling. 
He  wa*  absolute  integrity  and  he  feared  no  man.  I  my- 
self have  heard  him  tackle  a  Prime  Minister  like  a  terrier 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  255 

a  rat.  I  have  known  him  go  to  a  packed  meeting  and 
scathe  the  whole  mob  of  them.  He  never  thought  of 
money;  he  only  thought  of  truth.  He  might  have  been 
a  rich  man  if  he  hadn't  told  the  truth.  I  know  it.  When 
he  was  over  sixty  he  performed  a  journalistic  feat  that 
was  wondrous.  By  King  Edward's  positive  orders  a  cor- 
don was  arranged  round  the  battle-cruiser  "Indomitable," 
arriving  late  at  night  at  Cowes  with  the  Prince  of  Wales 
on  board,  to  prevent  the  Press  being  a  nuisance.  Stead, 
in  a  small  boat,  dropped  down  with  the  tide  from  ahead 
and  swarmed  up  a  rope  ladder  under  the  bows,  about  30 
feet  high  and  then  along  a  sort  of  greasy  pole,  known 
to  sailors  as  the  lower  boom,  talked  to  one  of  the  Officers, 
who  naturally  supposed  he  couldn't  be  there  without  per- 
mission; and  the  Daily  Mail  the  next  morning  had  the 
most  perfect  digest  I  have  ever  read  of  perhaps  one  of 
the  most  wonderful  passages  ever  made.  This  big  battle 
cruiser,  encumbered  with  the  heaviest  guns  known,  and 
with  hundreds  and  hundreds  of  tons  of  armour  on  her 
side,  beat  the  "Mauretania,"  the  greyhound  of  the  seas, 
built  of  gingerbread,  carrying  no  cargo,  and  shaped  for 
no  other  purpose  than  for  speed  and  luxury. 

Of  course  no  other  paper  had  a  word. 

Stead  always  told  me  he  would  die  in  his  boots.  Strife 
was  his  portion,  he  said.  I  am  not  sure  that  my  friend 
Arnold  White  would  not  have  shot  him  at  sight  in  the 
Boer  War.  Stead  was  a  pro-Boer,  and  so  was  I.  I  sim- 
ply loved  Botha,  and  Botha  gave  me  great  words.  He 
said :  "English  was  the  business  language  of  the  globe" — 
that's  good!  Of  course  every  genius  has  a  strain  of  queer- 
ness.  Does  not  the  poet  say:  "Great  wits  to  madness 
often  are  allied?"  I  remember  a  book  which  had  a  great 
circulation,  entitled  "The  Insanity  of  Genius."  I  very 
nearly  wrote  a  letter  to  The  Times,  only  I  was  afraid  they 


256  MEMORIES 

might  think  me  mad,  and  I  was  afraid  that  Admiral  Fitz- 
gerald might  not  think  me  modest  (see  his  letter  in  The 
Times  of  Sept.  8th,  1919).  This  was  my  letter  to  The 
Times: — 

"Genius  is  not  insanity,  it  only  means  the  man  is  be- 
fore his  time.  That's  all." 

That  was  the  whole  of  the  letter. 

There  was  a  very  great  scientist  (he  is  a  very  great 
friend  of  mine  and  he  discovered  something  I  can't  re- 
member the  name  of)  who  said:  "A  man  must  be  mad  to 
think  of  flying  machines!"  and  he  lived  to  see  them  as 
plentiful  as  sparrows. 

Without  saying  a  word  to  me  or  even  letting  me  know, 
in  a  few  hasty  hours  Stead  wrote  in  the  "Review  of  Re- 
views" in  February,  1910,  the  most  extraordinarily  ac- 
curate resume  of  every  date  and  name  connected  with 
my  career.  It  would  have  taken  any  other  man  a  month. 
However,  he  made  one  great  mistake  in  it.  He  only 
spoke  in  it,  like  all  other  things  that  have  been  said  of 
me,  of  "The  full  corn  in  the  ear!"  What  really  is  a 
man's  life  is  the  endurance  and  the  adversity  and  the 
non-recognition  and  the  humiliating  slights  and  the  fight- 
ing morning,  noon  and  night,  of  early  life.  That  brings 
fortune.  I  like  that  word  "fortune."  Those  inspired 
men  who  translated  the  Great  Bible  never  said  a  thing 
"happened,"  they  always  said  it  "fortuned." 

I  here  insert  a  letter  kindly  lent  me  by  Lord  Esher. 
As  it  was  written  on  the  spur  of  the  moment  and  out  of 
the  abundance  of  the  heart,  I  give  it  verbatim.  Esher 
loved  Stead  as  much  as  I  did.  I  knew  it,  and  that's  why 
I  wrote  to  him.  We  felt  a  common  affliction : — 

April  22,  1912.  HOTEL  EXCELSIOR,  NAPLES. 

This  loss  of  dear  old  Stead  numbs  me !  Cromwell  and 
Martin  Luther  rolled  into  one.  And  such  a  big  heart. 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  257 

Such  great  emotions.  You  must  write  something.  All 
I've  read  quite  inadequate.  The  telegrams  here  say  he 
was  to  the  forefront  with  the  women  and  children,  putting 
them  in  the  boats!  /  can  see  him!  and  probably  singing 
"Hallelujah,"  and  encouraging  the  ship's  band  to  play 
cheerfully.  He  told  me  he  would  die  in  his  boots.  So  he 
has.  And  a  fine  death.  As  a  boy  he  had  threepence  a 
week  pocket  money.  One  penny  bought  Shakespeare  in 
weekly  parts,  the  other  two  pennies  to  his  God  for  Mis- 
sions. And  the  result  was  he  became  editor  of  a  big  news- 
paper at  22!  And  he  was  a  Missionary  himself  all  his 
life.  Fearless  even  when  alone,  believing  in  his  God — • 
the  God  of  truth — and  his  enemies  always  rued  it  when 
they  fought  him.  He  was  an  exploder  of  "gas-bags"  and 
the  terror  of  liars.  He  was  called  a  "wild  man"  because 
he  said  "Two  keels  to  one."  He  was  at  Berlin — the  High 
Personage  said  to  him:  "Don't  be  frightened!"  Stead 
replied  to  the  All  Highest:  "Oh,  no!  we  won't!  for  every 
Dreadnought  you  build  we  will  build  two!"  That  was  the 
genesis  of  the  cry  "Two  keels  to  one."  I  have  a  note  of 
it  made  at  the  time  for  my  "Reflections."  But,  my  dear 
friend,  put  your  concise  pen  to  paper  for  our  Cromwellian 
Saint.  He  deserves  it. 

Yours  always, 

FISHER. 

"You  cannot  do  anyone  more  good  than  by  trying  un- 
successfully to  do  him  an  injury,"  was  one  of  the  aphor- 
isms of  Lord  Dalling  (Sir  Henry  Bulwer) ;  and  it  oc- 
curred to  me  forcibly  on  one  occasion  when  I  went  to  stay 
with  my  very  great  friend,  Henry  Labouchere  (the  pro- 
prietor of  Truth) .  On  the  way  I  had  been  reading  a  pe- 
culiarly venomous  attack  on  me  in  his  paper ;  and  when  he 
greeted  me  as  affectionately  as  ever,  I  showed  it  to  him, 
saying:  "Don't  put  your  arm  on  my  shoulder!  Read  that 
damned  thing  there!"  Labouchere  glanced  at  it  and  re- 
plied. "Where  would  you  have  been  if  I  hadn't  persist- 
ently maligned  you?" 


258  MEMORIES 

When  I  was  with  him  at  his  villa  at  Florence,  he  used 
to  smoke  the  most  beastly  cigarettes  at  ten  a  penny,  yet 
he  left  over  a  million  sterling,  and  was  generous  to  ab- 
surdity to  those  he  loved. 

He  had  none  but  Italian  servants;  he  told  me  he  was 
always  extremely  polite  to  them,  for  the  knife  came  so 
easy  to  them.  He  said  he  didn't  realise  this  until,  after 
he  had  had  some  words  with  an  English  friend,  his  Italian 
gardener,  who  had  overheard  the  altercation,  asked  La- 
bouchere  if  he  would  like  him  (the  gardener)  to  deal  with 
his  friend,  and  he  tapped  the  stiletto  in  his  waist-band. 

His  own  wit  was  as  ready  as  his  gardener's  stiletto. 
On  one  occasion  he  was  at  Cologne  railway  station,  and 
the  Custom  House  Officer  was  turning  his  portmanteau 
inside  out.  Labouchere  had  a  telegraph  form  in  his 
pocket;  he  wrote  out  a  telegram  with  a  stylographic  pen 
and  handed  it  to  the  official  who  was  standing  behind  the 
Custom  House  Officer  and  told  him  it  was  a  Government 
telegram.  This  was  the  telegram: 

PRINCE  BISMARCK, 

BERLIN. 

Can't  dine  with  you  to-night.  Missed  train  through 
a  damned  ass  of  a  Custom  House  Officer.  Will  let  you 
have  his  name. 

LABOUCHERE,  Cologne. 

They  offered  him  a  special  train.  Labouchere  had 
never  seen  Bismarck  in  his  life.  This  was  the  occasion 
on  which  Labouchere  was  reprimanded  by  the  Foreign 
Office  for  his  delay  in  taking  up  his  appointment  as  at- 
tache at  St.  Petersburg.  His  excuse  was  that  the  money 
allowed  him  only  permitted  his  travelling  by  railway  as 
far  as  Cologne;  the  rest  of  the  way  he  walked. 

This  book  would  be  incomplete  if  I  did  not  draw  at- 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  259 

tention  to  the  great  debt  the  nation  owes  to  three  men 
yet  unmentioned  in  this  volume. 

Mr.  George  Lambert,  M.P.,  twice  refused  office  and 
sacrificed  his  political  prospects  and  with  a  glorious  vic- 
tory sustained  the  whole  Government  effort  to  kick  him 
out  of  Parliament;  but  he  conquered  with  a  magnificent 
majority  of  over  two  thousand!  Why? 

Because  after  serving  for  over  seven  years  in  the  Ad- 
miralty he  could  speak  of  his  own  knowledge  that  the 
War  administration  and  the  fighting  Sea  Policy  were 
shamefully  effete. 

The  Recording  Angel  will  mark  down  opposite  Mr. 
Lambert's  name:  "Well  done,  thou  good  and  faithful  serv- 
ant!" But  may  he  also  have  his  reward  here  and  now, 
as  many  years  of  good  work  here  below  may  lie  between 
him  and  Heaven  as  yet. 

Commodore  Hugh  Paget  Sinclair  is  another  "Stal- 
wart" of  the  War.  His  business  was  to  provide  the  offi- 
cers and  men  to  man  the  Fleet — imagine  the  stupendous 
task  that  was  his ! 

We  never  wanted  for  Officer  or  Man! 

He  is  now  Director  of  Naval  Intelligence;  and  may 
his  ascent  in  the  Navy  be  what  is  his  splendid  due ! 

Sir  Alfred  Yarrow  I  select  for  mention,  for  without 
him  Mesopotamia  would  have  been  a  bigger  crime  than 
it  was,  and  throughout  all  ages  it  will  be  branded  for 
gross  and  culpable  and  criminal  ineptitude.  If  I  was 
asked  to  name  the  Capturer  of  Bagdad  I  would  unhesi- 
tatingly reply  it  was  Sir  Alfred  Yarrow. 

The  Navy  has  not  had  its  due  credit  for  the  Capture 
of  Bagdad.  If  Sir  Alfred  Yarrow  with  his  usual  astound- 
ing push,  and  without  regard  to  red  tape  or  thanks  or 
recognition,  had  not  sent  those  splendid  light-draught 
gunboats  of  his  to  Mesopotamia,  packed  up  in  bits  like 


260  MEMORIES 

portmanteaux,  then  Bagdad  would  not  have  been  ours. 
The  Viceroy  of  India  sent  us  (acting  on  the  advice  he 
had  received)  the  wrong  draught  of  water.  We  ignored 
the  Viceroy  and  all  his  crew.  It  took  eighteen  days  to 
get  this  pressing  vital  business  through  the  Government 
Departments  concerned.  It  took  us  one  day  to  accom- 
plish the  whole  procedure,  with  Sir  Alfred  Yarrow,  and 
we  chucked  all  the  Departments.  So  24  light-draught 
gunboats  grew  up  like  Jonah's  Gourd,  which  came  up  in  a 
night  (Jonah,  iv,  10). 

I  append  a  memorandum  compiled  from  the  Official 
papers : — 

History  of  Provision  of  24  Light-draught  Gunboats  for 

Mesopotamia. 


Note. — These  Vessels  played  a  great  part  in  the  cap- 
ture of  Bagdad. 

January  9th,  1915. — Telegram  from  Viceroy  to  India 
Office  that  Admiralty  be  asked  to  provide  4  gunboats — 
draught  4%  feet  for  Tigris.1 

January  llth,  1915. — India  Office  asked  Admiralty  to 
meet  Viceroy's  wishes. 

January  29th,  1915.2 — Admiralty  Departments  sug- 
gested various  types.  War  Staff  proposed  3  from  Egypt 
be  sent. 

January  29th,  1915. — Lord  Fisher  ordered  24  light- 
draught  gunboats.  In  order  to  save  time,  Captain  [now 
Rear-Admiral  Sir  S.  S.]  Hall,  R.N.,  (Lord  Fisher's  Sec- 
retary) was  directed  by  Lord  Fisher  to  co-operate  with 
Mr.  Yarrow  8  and  carry  the  operation  through  without 

1  This  shows  how  badly  advised  the  Navy  was  by  the  India  Office,  as  under 
3  feet  wai  vital,  and  the  order  was  given  accordingly. 

*  Eighteen  days  going  through  Departments. 

•Mr.  Yarrow  had  technical  charge  of  the  whole  business  and  was  the  sole 
designer — and  there  was  no  paper  work  whatever. 


SOME  PERSONALITIES  261 

reference,  to  Admiralty  Departments  or  any  other  De- 
partments." 

January  29th,  1915. — Conference  held.  Design  set- 
tled* 

T  rtii  ,  fCaptain  Hall  toured  the  country 

January  30th,  1915.       /     V1    ,      „  J. 

-r^,  ,       ,«,  -  •      tor  likely  firms  to  construct 

February  1st,  1915.1     ..  *    , 

the  24  gunboats. 

February  2nd,  1915.5 — Proposals  made  for  placing 
orders  approved  by  Lord  Fisher  and  First  Lord,  and 
orders  were  placed  as  follows : — 

12  Small  by  Yarrow. 
4  Large  by  Barclay  Curie. 
2  Large  by  Lobnitz. 
2  Large  by  Ailsa  Shipbuilding  Co. 
2  Large  by  Wood  Skinner. 
2  Large  by  Sunderland  Shipbuilding  Co. 

February  8th,  1915. — Captain  Hall  was  appointed 
Commodore-in- Charge  of  the  Submarine  Service,  but  was 
directed  by  Lord  Fisher  to  continue  supervision  of  the 
provision  of  24  gunboats. 

Sir  Alfred  Yarrow  ought  (like  Mr.  Schwab)  to  have 
been  made  a  Duke,  and  I  wrote  to  Sir  John  Jellicoe,  when 
he  was  First  Sea  Lord,  and  told  him  so. 

The  history  of  the  Flotillas  of  light-draught  gunboats 
built  both  for  Mesopotamia  and  the  Danube  will  ever  be 
associated  with  the  good  service  done  by  Sir  Alfred  Yar- 
row, and  for  which  he  was  only  made  a  Baronet.  Those 
built  for  the  Tigris  led  our  Army  to  Bagdad  and  far  be- 
yond, and  were  at  times  unsupported  far  ahead  of  the 
military  force;  and  without  any  question  whatever  with- 
out them  the  Mesopotamian  muddle  could  never  have 

*A11  this  action  on  the  same  day. 

'All  the  rest  of  the  required  action  taken  in  4  days. 


262  MEMORIES 

emerged  into  a  glorious  victory.  The  speed  with  which 
these  vessels  were  constructed  and  despatched  in  small 
parcels  to  Mesopotamia  and  there  put  together  in  an  ex- 
temporary dockyard  arranged  by  Sir  Alfred  Yarrow's 
staff  was  as  much  a  feature  as  any  other  part  of  their 
production.  It  necessitated  masses  of  natives  of  different 
religious  persuasions  being  gathered  together  to  assist  the 
skilled  artizans  in  bolting  the  pieces  together  and  launch- 
ing them  on  the  Tigris.  Their  differing  hours  of  prayer 
were  a  disturbing  element  in  the  rapidity  of  the  construc- 
tion ;  but  my  splendid  friend  the  foreman  from  the  Scots- 
toun  Yard  of  Messrs.  Yarrow  contrived  a  prayer  compro- 
mise. The  Danube  Flotilla  arranged  for  with  a  number 
of  other  builders  was  equally  remarkable ;  and  Commodore 
(now  Admiral)  Bartolome  wrote  me  a  commendatory  let- 
ter of  their  good  service  there. 

I  must  also  mention  Commodore  (now  Admiral)  Sir 
S.  S.  Hall,  but  for  whose  continual  journeys  from  ship- 
yard to  shipyard  these  vessels  would  never  have  been  de- 
livered on  the  scene  of  action  in  the  time  required.  Within 
six  months  all  these  Flotillas  were  thought  of — designed — 
built — and  in  service,  and  nothing  gave  me  intenser  delight 
than  the  visit  I  paid  to  these  craft  as  they  were  all  built 
and  then  taken  to  pieces  for  transit  to  their  destination  in 
packages  that  any  motor  car  could  have  transported. 

The  world  at  large  can  have  little  conception  of  the 
remarkability  of  those  comparatively  large  hulls  with  good 
speed  and  practically  drawing  but  a  few  inches  of  water— 
the  propellers  (which  were  too  large  in  diameter  for  the 
depth  of  water)  being  made  by  an  ingenious  device  to  re- 
volve in  a  well  above  the  water-line,  the  water  being  drawn 
up  by  suction.  I  thought  to  myself  as  I  viewed  these 
miracles  of  ingenuity  and  rapidity:  "England  can  never 
succumb." 


CHAPTER  XVI 

THINGS  THAT  PLEASE   ME 

"I  have  culled  a  Garland  of  Flowers — 
Mine  is  the  string  that  binds  them." 

*  #  * 

Thou  shalt  not  kill,  but  needst  not  strive 
Officiously  to  keep  alive ! 

(When  catching  Submarines). 

*  *  # 

Seest  thou  a  man  diligent  in  business — he  shall  stand  be- 
fore Kings — he  shall  not  stand  before  mean  men. 

*  *  * 

God  who  cannot  be  unjust, 
Heedeth  all  who  on  Him  trust. 
Them  who  call  on  Him  for  aid, 
Anguish  shall  not  make  afraid. 
Trust  him  then  in  life.     In  death 
He  can  give  thee  Living  Breath ! 
After  death  the  Life  now  thine 

He  can  make  the  Life  Divine. 

*  *  * 

I  never  bother  to  bother  about  anyone  who  doesn't  bother 

to  bother  about  me ! 

*  *  * 

"Put  on  the  impenetrable  armour  of  contempt  and  forti- 
tude." 

*  *  * 

When  danger  threatens  and  the  foeman  nigh, 
"God  and  our  Navy!"  is  the  Nation's  cry. 
263 


264  MEMORIES 

But,  the  danger  over  and  the  Country  righted, 

God  is  forgotten  and  the  Sailor  slighted. 

*  *  * 

Never  fight  a  Chimney  Sweep;  some  of  the  soot  comes 

off  on  you. 

*  *  * 

Pas  de  Culte  sans  mystere. 

*  *  *  * 

Ode  to  an  Apple- 
Newton  saw  an  apple  fall, 
Eve  an  apple  did  enthral; 
It  played  the  devil  with  us  all, 

The  Devil  making  Eve  to  fall. 

*  *  * 

"Liberty  of  Conscience"  means  doing  wrong  but  not 

worrying  about  it  afterwards. 

*  *  * 

"Tact"  is  insulting  a  man  without  his  knowing  it. 

*  *  * 

Even  a  man's  faults  may  reflect  his  virtues. 

*  *  * 

Sincerity  is  the  road  to  Heaven. 

*  *  * 

I  thought  it  would  be  a  good  thing  to  be  a  missionary, 

but  I  thought  it  would  be  better  to  be  First  Sea  Lord. 

*  *  * 

Think  in  Oceans — shoot  at  sight. 

*  *  * 

Big  conceptions  and  Quick  Decisions. 

*  *  * 

Napoleonic  in  Audacity. 
Cromwellian  in  Thoroughness. 

Nelsonic  in  Execution. 

*  *          * 


THINGS  THAT  PLEASE   ME        265 

"Surprise"  the  pith  and  marrow  of  war! 

*  *  * 

Audacity  and  Imagination  beget  surprise. 

*  *  * 

Rashness  in  war  is  Prudence. 

*  *  # 

Prudence  in  war  is  Imbecility. 

Hit  first!  Hit  hard!  Keep  on  hitting!!  (The  3  H's). 

*  *  * 

The  3  Requisites  for  Success — Ruthless,  Relentless,  Re- 
morseless (The  3  R's). 

*  *  * 

BUSINESS — Call  on  a  Business  man  in  Business  hours 
only  on  Business.    Transact  your  Business  and  go  about 
your  Business,  in  order  to  give  him  time  to  finish  his 
Business,  and  you  time  to  mind  your  own  Business. 
[I  had  this  printed  on  cards,  one  of  which  was  handed 

to  every  caller  on  me  at  the  Admiralty.] 

*  *  * 

The  Nelsonic  Attributes — 

(a)  Self  Reliance. 

(b)  Power  of  Initiative. 

(c)  Fearlessness  of  Responsibility. 

(d)  Fertility  of  Resource. 

*  *  * 

Originality  never  yet  led  to  Preferment. 

*  *  * 

Mediocrity  is  the  Road  to  Honour. 

*  *  * 

Repetition  is  the  Soul  of  Journalism. 

*  *  * 

No  difficulty  baffles  great  zeal. 

*  *  * 


266  MEMORIES 

The  Pavement  of  Life  is  strewn  with  Orange  Peel. 

*  *  * 

Inconsistency  is  the  bugbear  of  Silly  Asses. 

*  *  * 

Never  Deny:  Never  Explain:  Never  Apologise. 

*  *          * 

"To  defy  Power  that  seems  omnipotent  .  .  . 
Never  to  change,  nor  falter,  nor  repent." 

(SHELLEY.) 

*  #          * 

Cardinal  Rampolla  got  his  Hat  at  a  younger  age  than 
any  preceding  Cardinal.    Asked  to  account  for  his  phe- 
nomenal success,  he  replied: — It's  due  to  3  things: 
Tasked 

-anything. 

*  *  * 


I  never  j  refused 
[resigned 


The  best  scale  for  an  experiment  is  12  inches  to  a  foot. 

*  *  * 

Dread  Nought  is  over  80  times  in  the  Bible  ("Fear 
Not").  So  I  took  as  my  motto  "Fear  God  and  Dread 

Nought." 

*  *          * 

Moltke  wrote  as  follows: 

"A  clever  military  leader  will  succeed  in  many  cases  in 
choosing  defensive  positions  of  such  an  offensive  nature 
from  a  strategic  point  of  view  that  the  opponent  is  com- 
pelled to  attack  us  in  them." 

*  *  * 

In  looking  through  a  packet  of  ancient  papers  I  find  some 
youthful  thoughts  of  my  own  and  some  others  which  evi- 
dently I  thought  very  choice. 

"Anything  said  before  a  lecture  muddles  it." 


THINGS  THAT  PLEASE  ME        267 

"Anything  after  weakens  it  1" 

*  *  * 

"There  is  nothing  you  can't  have  if  you  want  it 

enough." 

*  *  * 

The  following  extract  is  from  Blake : 

"He  who  bends  to  himself  a  joy, 
Does  the  winged  life  destroy; 
But  he  who  kisses  the  joy  as  it  flies 

Lives  in  Eternity's  Sunrise." 

*  *  * 

Dean  Swift  satirised  the  vulgar  exclusiveness  of  those  who 
desired  the  infinite  meadows  of  Heaven  only  to  be  fre- 
quented by  the  religious  sect  they  adorned  on  earth: 

"We  are  God's  chosen  few  I 
All  others  will  be  damned! 
There  is  no  place  in  Heaven  for  you, 

We  can't  have  Heaven  crammed!" 

*  *  * 

Lord  Dalling  (Sir  Henry  Bulwer)  codified  his  life  in 
axioms  and  phrases.  His  intimate  friend,  Sir  Drummond 
Wolff,  says  so.  (By  the  way,  Wolff's  father  was  a  mar- 
vellous Bible  scholar.  I  heard  him  preach  the  sermon  of 
my  life:  it  was  extempore,  on  "The  Resurrection."  A 
great  friend  of  his  told  me  that  Wolff  did  really  know 
the  Bible  by  heart.)  These  are  Lord  Dalling's  sayings; 
he  quotes  Talleyrand  for  one  of  his  rules  of  life : 

"Acknowledge  the  receipt  of  a  book  from  the  author 
at  once :  this  relieves  you  of  the  necessity  of  saying  whether 
you  have  read  it." 

Again  this  is  excellent : 


268  MEMORIES 

"You  cannot  do  anyone  more  good  than  by  trying 
unsuccessfully  to  do  him  an  injury."  (Mr.  Labouchere 
gave  me  the  same  reason  for  attacking  me  in  his  paper 
Truth.) 

"Nothing  is  so  foolish  as  to  be  wise  out  of  season." 
"The  best  trait  in  a  man's  character  is  an  anxiety  to 
serve  those  who  have  obliged  him  once  and  can  do  so  no 
more." 

*  *          * 

Nelson's  Ipsissima  Verba. 

"Do  not  imagine  I  am  one  of  those  hot-brained  peo- 
ple who  fight  at  an  immense  disadvantage  without  an 
adequate  object  ...  in  a  week's  time  I  shall  get  rein- 
forcements and  the  enemy  will  get  none,  and  then  I  must 
annihilate  him." 

It  was  not  "Victory"  that  Nelson  ever  desired.     It  was 

"Annihilation!" 

*  *  * 

Moses,  Gideon  and  Cromwell. 

Moses  and  Gideon  were  each  of  them  summoned  straight 
from  their  simple  daily  task  to  go  and  help  their  fellow 
countrymen,  and  both  were  able  to  perform  the  task  al- 
lotted to  them  in  spite  of  their  first  great  doubts  of  their 
fitness  for  the  work.  The  figure  of  Moses  looms  through 
the  Ages  as  gigantic  as  the  Pyramids,  and  nearer  home 
and  in  a  lesser  sphere  stands  our  English  Cromwell,  the 
Great  Protector ! 

"I  would  have  been  glad,"  said  Cromwell,  "to  have 
lived  on  my  woodside  or  kept  a  flock  of  sheep  rather 
than  have  undertaken  a  government  like  this."  And 
yet  in  the  end  he  had  undertaken  it  because  he  said  he 

"had  hoped  he  might  prevent  some  imminent  evil." 

*  *          * 


THINGS  THAT  PLEASE  ME        269 

Suffragettes. 

The  nine  Muses  were  all  women. 

The  three  Gra%ces  were  all  women. 
*  *  * 

A  great  philosopher  has  stated  that  a  woman  can  be 
classed  under  two  categories: 

1.  A  mother,  a  mistress  and  a  friend;  or, 

2.  A  comrade  and  queen  and  child. 

A  woman  is  really  rooted  in  physical  reality,  and  all  the 
above  six  attributes  of  the  philosopher  always  live  in  her. 

Thus  the  Song  of  Solomon  produced  a  passionate 
commodity,  but  it  required  the  Mary  Magdalene  of  the 
Gospel  to  express  the  summum  "bonum  of  a  woman  of 
"Greatly  Loving." 

In  the  first  prayer  book  of  A.D.  1549  there  was  a  Col- 
lect for  her!  No  other  woman  had  a  Collect  except  the 
Virgin  Mary. 

Emotion,  self -surrender,  selflessness,  immortal  cour- 
age, wondrous  physical  beauty!  Mary  Magdalene  was  a 
great  human  reality.  It  is  quite  obvious  she  was  no  de- 
bauchee or  her  Beauty  would  have  failed,  nor  could  she 
have  been  a  "hardened"  sinner  or  she  would  have  scoffed! 

What  washer  history?  What  caused  her  lapse?  Who 
was  her  Betrayer? 

"Her  sins,  which  are  many,  are  forgiven;  for  she 
loved  much.  Verily  I  saw  unto  you,  Wheresoever  this 
Gospel  shall  be  preached  in  the  whole  world,  there  shall 
also  this,  that  this  woman  hath  done,  be  told  for  a  me- 
morial of  her." 

And  is  it  not  very  striking  that  St.  Peter,  who  dictated 
St.  Mark's  Gospel,  records  in  the  16th  chapter,  verse  9, 
of  St.  Mark,  that  the  first  person  in  the  world  to  whom 


270  MEMORIES 

the  Saviour  showed  Himself  after  His  Resurrection  was 
Mary  Magdalene? 

"Now  when  Jesus  was  risen  early  the  first  day  of  the 
week,  He  appeared  first  to  Mary  Magdalene,  out  of  whom 
he  had  cast  seven  devils.  And  she  went  and  told  them 
that  had  been  with  Him  as  they  mourned  and  wept.  And 
they,  when  they  heard  that  He  was  alive  and  had  been 

seen  of  her,  believed  not." 

*  *          * 

A  Sun-Dial  that  I  Love. 

Que  Dieu  eclaire  les  heures  que  je  perds. 

(May  God  light  up  the  hours  that  I  fail  to  light.) 

*  *          * 

Though  hidden  yet  from  all  our  eyes, 
He  sees  the  Gideon  who  shall  rise 
To  save  us  and  His  sword. 


EPILOGUE 

MOUNT  PISGAH 

IT  is  stated  that  the  historian,  Lecky,  O.M.  (I  assisted 
at  the  operation  of  his  receiving  the  Order  of  Merit)  gave 
more  thought  and  time  to  the  book  of  his  last  years,  "The 
Map  of  Life,"  than  to  any  other  of  all  his  works,  and  it 
is  said  that  for  three  years  he  kept  on  revising  the  last  of 
its  chapters. 

The  book  was  derided  to  me  by  a  literary  friend  of 
great  eminence  as  being  "The  Pap  of  Life!"  I  read  its 
last  chapters  with  great  avidity.  If  for  nothing  else,  the 
book  is  worthy  of  immortality  for  the  reason  that  it  so 
emphasises  those  great  words  of  Dryden  as  being  appro- 
priate to  the  close  of  a  busied  life 


"Not  Heaven  itself  upon  the  past  has  Power, 
What  has  been  has  been,  and  I  have  had  my  hour." 

Whenever  (as  I  often  do)  I  pass  Dryden's  bust  in 
Westminster  Abbey  I  invariably  thank  him  for  those  lines. 

Mr.  Lecky  urges  his  readers  to  leave  the  active  scenes 
of  life  in  good  time  and  not  to  "Lag  superfluous  on  the 
Stage"  (I  believe  Mr.  Gladstone  recommended  this  also, 
but  didn't  do  it!). 

To  illustrate  Mr.  Lecky  we  have  that  great  and  splen- 
did Trio  of  Translation  to  Heaven  at  the  very  zenith  of 
their  powers.  Elijah  was  hurrying  along  (that  great,, 
hairy,  weird  old  man)  so  that  Elisha  could  hardly  keep 
pace  with  him,  and  he  is  suddenly  caught  up  in  a  Chariot 

271 


272  MEMORIES 

of  Fire  to  Heaven!    I  ask,  "Was  not  Nelson's  leaving 
this  earth  quite  a  similar  glorious  departure?" 

"Partial  firing  continued  until  4.30  p.m.  when  a  vic- 
tory having  been  reported  to  Admiral  Lord  Viscount 
Nelson,  K.B.,  and  Commander-in-Chief,  he  THEN  died 
of  his  Wound." 

Moses  (with  whom  I  am  now  more  particularly  con- 
cerned) also  left  this  life  in  a  'similar  glorious  way,  for 
God  was  his  companion  when  his  Spirit  left  this  Earth, 
and  it  markedly  is  recorded  of  Moses  that — 

"His  eye  was  not  dim, 
Nor  his  natural  force  abated!" 

Mr.  Lecky  doesn't  quote  my  three  men  above.  I  con- 
sider them  superior  to  Noah,  Daniel  and  Job,  who  are  the 
three  named  in  Scripture  as  being  so  dear  to  the  pious 
man.  Ezekiel,  chapter  xiv.,  verse  14. 

I  reiterate  that  the  advice  of  the  derided  Lecky  seems 
to  me  excellent,  to  leave  active  life  at  one's  zenith,  and 
thus  anticipate  senility. 

The  Archbishop  of  Seville  is  a  lovely  story  by  Cer- 
vantes. All  Spain  came  to  hear  him  preach.  Indeed  he 
had  to  preach  every  day,  the  crowds  were  so  great,  and 
he  said  to  his  faithful  Secretary:  "Tell  me  when  you  no- 
tice me  waning,  for  a  man  never  knows  it  himself."  The 
Secretary  did  so,  and  the  Archbishop  gave  him  the  sack! 
Yes!  The  Archbishop  had  passed  the  Rubicon,  and  this 
dismissal  was  the  proof.  Having  this  fear,  I  left  Office 
on  my  birthday  in  1910,  though  for  a  few  short  months 
in  1914  I  enjoyed  the  "dusky  hues  of  glorious  war,"  and 
exceedingly  delighted  myself  in  those  seven  months  in 
arranging  a  new  Armada  against  Germany  of  612  ves- 


EPILOGUE  273 

sels,  and  in  sending  Admiral  von  Spec  and  all  his  ships 
to  the  bottom  of  the  sea. 

The  following  much-prized  lines  were  sent  me  on  the 
Annihilation  of  Admiral  von  Spec's  Squadron  off  the 
Falkland  Islands  on  December  8th,  1914.  He  had  sunk 
Admiral  Cradock's  Squadron  five  weeks  before.  The 
"Dreadnought"  Battle  Cruisers,  "Inflexible"  and  "In- 
vincible," sent  to  sink  von  Spec,  made  a  passage  of  14,000 
miles  without  a  hitch  and  arrived  just  a  few  hours  before 
von  Spec.  It  was  a  timely  arrangement: — 

From  the  President  of  Magdalen  College,  Oxford,  Sir 
Herbert  Warren  (Professor  of  Poetry). 

Merserat  Ex-spe  Spem,  rediit  spes,  mergitur  Ex-spes. 

"Von  Spec  sent  the  'Good  Hope'  to  the  bottom:  hope 
revived;  he  is  sunk  himself,  without  hope." 

From  Mr.  Godley,  the  Public  Orator  at  Oxford  Uni- 
versity. 

Hoc  tibi  Piscator  Patria  debet  opus. 

"Your  country  owes  this  exploit  to  you,  O  Fisher!" 

But  that  Great  Providence,  that  shapes  our  course, 
rough  hew  it  how  we  will,  ordained  my  departure  from 
the  conduct  of  the  War.  Amongst  the  masses  of  regret- 
ful letters  at  my  departure  I  choose  one  from  an  Admiral 
then  88  years  old,  who  satisfies  the  great  Dr.  Weir 
Mitchell's  dictum  of  the  clear  brain  becoming  clearer  with 
age.  This  Admiral  annexed  a  Continent  for  England, 
abounding  in  riches  in  New  Guinea;  but  he  got  no  thanks; 
and  England  gave  away  his  gift.  But  his  name  lives 
there.  I  conclude  with  his  letter: — 


274  MEMORIES 

DEAR  OLD  FISHER, 

It  is  marvellous  how  all  variations  of  our  lives  are  un- 
ravelled by  Divine  Inspiration  that  cannot  err. 

"No  one  can  'hustle'  Providence." 

(That's  one  of  your  sayings!) 

Think  of  Moses! 

"He  was  the  truest  warrior  that  ever  buckled  sword. 
He  the  most  gifted  Poet  that  ever  breathed  a  word : 
And  never  Earth's  Philosopher  traced  with  his  golden  pen, 
On  the  Deathless  Page,  truths  half  so  sage  as  he  wrote  down  for  men ; 
Yet  no  man  knows  his  sepulchre,  and  no  man  saw  it  e'er. 
For  the  Angels  of  God  up-turned  the  sod  and  laid  the  Dead  Man 
there." 

Moses  saved  his  people.  He  prepared  them  for  the 
conquest  in  which  he  was  to  take  no  part.  He  was  the 
meekest  man  on  earth,  yet  he  could  be  the  most  ruthless! 

Doubtless  you  saved  England  at  the  Falkland  Islands. 

Doubtless   you   prepared   our   Fleet   for   this   war! 

(Nothing  to  boast  of!  You  the  clay  in  the  hands  of 
the  Potter!)  And  it  seems  likely  that  some  Joshua  will 
reap  what  you  have  sown!  Yet  history  will  put  it  right. 

"O  lonely  grave  in  Moab's  land !     O  dark  Beth-Peor's  hill ! 
Speak  to  these  curious  hearts  of  ours  and  teach  them  to  be  still! 

Ever  faithfully  yours, 

(Signed)     J.  MORESBY. 


INDEX  TO  VOLUME  ONE 


Abdul  Hamid,  68;  the  Pope  and,  101 

et  seq.,  203,  204 

Aboukir  Bay,  French  Fleet  in,  163 
Adalbert,  Prince,  227 
Adams,    John,    editor    of   "The    New 

Teaching,"  245 
Admiralty  clerks  and  the  Naval  War 

Staff,  110  et  seq. 
Aircraft,  130  et  seq. 
Alcester,  Lord,  145 
Alexandra,  Queen,  29,  36,  198,  234 
Alfonso,  King,  233,  234,  251 
Americans,  219  et  seq. 
Anderson,  Mr.  J.  W.  S.,  118 
Angell,  Mr.  Norman,  132,  210 
Arbuthnot,  Sir  R.,  72 
Arnold-Forster,  Rt.  Hon.  H.  O.,  170, 

172,  180 
Asquith,  Rt.  Hon.  H.  H.,  56,  63,  70, 

71,  81,  196,  199 


B 


Bacon,  Admiral  Sir  Reginald,  112, 
134 

Baddeley,  Mr.  V.  W.,  118 

Balfour,  Rt.  Hon.  A.  J.,  50,  75,  92, 
183,  209 

Barnaby,  Sir  Nathaniel,  247,  249;  let- 
ter to  Lord  Fisher,  250 

Barnardo,  Dr.,  162 

Bartolome',  Admiral  Sir  Charles  de, 
112,  262 

Battenberg,  Prince  Louis  of,  169 

Beatty,  Lord,  51,  54,  127 

Beilby,  Sir  George,  123 

Beit,  Mr.,  22,  48,  49,  183 

Benbow,  Admiral,  165 

Bernstorff,  Count  von,  209 

Bieberstein,  Marschall  von,  203,  204 

Birdwood,  General  Sir  William  R., 
92 

Bismarck,  Prince,  226 

"Blucher,"  sinking  of  the,  153,  154 

Booth,  General,  162 

Borden,  Rt.  Hon.  Sir.  R.  L.,  217 

MEMORIES  275 


Botha,  General,  141,  256 

Boys,  Admiral,  168 

Bridgeman,  Admiral  Sir  Francis,  241, 

242 

Bridgman,  Mr.,  101 
Bright,   John,  39,   108,   221,  223,  225 

250 

Bristol,  Marquis  of,  251 
Brock,     Commander,     at    Zeebrugge, 

63 

Bryce,  Lord,  204 
Buckle,  Mr.,  182 
Bulwer,  Sir  Henry,  set  Bailing,  Lord, 

257,  268 
Byron,  Lord,  101,  110 


Caillaux,  M.,  208 

Caldwell,  Major-General  Sir  Charles, 

93,  94 
Callaghan,  Admiral  Sir  George  A.,  51, 

53 
Campbell-Bannerman,  Sir  H.,  56,  177 

183,  184,  250 

Canning,  Sir  Stratford,  104 
Carden,  Admiral  Sir  Sackville  H.,  89, 

92 

Cartagena,  233,  235 
Cavendish,  Lady  Frederick,  253 
Cawley,  Lord,  68 
Cervantes,  272,  273 
Chalmers,  Dr.,  156 
Choate,  Mr.,  34 
Churchill,  Mr.  Winston,  50,  55,  63,  65, 

67,  71,  75,  76,  77,  78,  82,  84,  91,  130, 

133,  184,  196,  198,  205,  206,  211,  213, 

241 

Clark,  Mr.  Champ,  202 
Clarke,  Sir  George,  33,  166,  170,  174, 

180,  196 

Clemenceau,  M.,  208 
Corbett,  Sir  Julian,  2  n.,  109 
Cornwallis,  Admiral,  165 
Cradock,  Admiral,  140,  141,  273 
Crease,  Captain,  112 
Cromer,  Lord,  60,  72,  81,  86,  103 
Cromwell,  Oliver,  115,  269 


276 


MEMORIES 


H 


Dalling,  Lord,  257,  268 

"Daniell  cell,"  the,  145 

Daniels,  Mr.  Josephus,  223 

Dardanelles,  the,  62  et  s«q. 

Denbigh,  Lord,  27 

Depew,  Mr.  Chauncey,  222 

Dilke,  Sir  Charles,  33 

Disraeli,  41,  109 

Dogger    Bank    incident,    the,    76,   82, 

103 

Dryden,  271 

Dumanoir,  Admiral,  164 
Dundonald,  Lord,  150,  164 


Ellison,  General  Sir  C.,  166,  167 

Empress  Marie,  198 

Esher,  Lord,  23,  29;  letter  to  Lord 
Fisher,  30,  48,  49;  Lord  Fisher's  let- 
ters to,  166  et  s«q. 


Falkeahayn,  General  von,  106 
Fisher,  Mr.  Andrew,  73,  80 
Fitzgerald,  Admiral,  256 
Flint,  Mr.,  117 
Franklin,  Benjamin,  164  n 
Frederick  the  Great,  49 
French,  Lord,  69,  70,  80,  170,  173,  175, 
188 


G 


Card,  Mr.,  128 

Gardiner,  Mr.  A.  G.,  66 

Garibaldi,  visit  of,  to  the  "Warrior," 

154 

Garvin,  Mr.  J.  L.,  187 
German  Emperor  on  Lord  Fisher,  48, 

183 

Girouard,  Sir.  E.  P.  C.,  167 
Gladstone,  Mr.,  55,  56,  239,  252,  253, 

254,  272 

Gladstone,  Mrs.,  253 
Godley,  Mr.,  273 
.Goschen,  Viscount,  115,  144 
Grand  Duke  Nicholas,  65,  89 
Granville,  Lord,  204 
Greene,  Sir  Graham,  118 
Grey,  Lord,  35,  105,  189,  190,  204 
Grierson,  General,  173 
Guazzo,  Steven,  49 


Haddock,  Commodore,  148,  149 

Haig,  Lord,  173 

Haldane,  Lord,  110,  112,  114,  208 

Hall,  AdmiralSir  S.  S.,  261,  262 

Hall,  Admiral  W_.  H.,  Ill 

Hall,  Rear-Admiral  Sir  William  Reg- 
inald, 95 

Hamilton,  Sir  Ian,  93,  214 

Hamilton,  Lady,  160 

Hamilton,  Lord  George,  237,  238,  239 

Hankey,  Sir  Maurice,  70,  75,  85,  194 

Hanotaux,  M.,  187 

Harcourt,  Sir  William  Vernon,  186, 
215 

Hawke,  Admiral  Lord,  165 

Hawthorne,  122 

Henderson,  Admiral  Sir  Reginald, 
113  n 

Henderson,  Mr.  Arthur,  61 

Hertz  German  submarine  mine,  the, 
135,  154 

Hertzog,  General,  141 

Hildyard,  General,  170 

Hindenburg,  Field-Marshal  von,  85, 
114 

Hood,  Admiral  Sir  Horace,  112 

Hood,  Admiral  Viscount,  72,  165 

Hornby,  Admiral  Sir  Geoffrey 
Phipps,  76,  77,  82,  102,  225 

House,  Colonel,  59 

Howe,  Admiral,  165 

Hush  Hush  ships,  106,  109,  238,  251 


Inge,  Dean,  64 

Ingenohl,  Admiral  von,  47 

Inglefield,  Admiral  Sir  Frederick  S., 

169 

Ismay,  Mr.,  149 
Isvolsky,  M.,  183,  187,  230 


Jackson,  Admiral  Sir  Henry  B.,  54 
Jellicoe,  Lord,  45,  46,  50,  54,  76,  85, 

115,  207,  209,  262 
Johnson,  Abraham,  152,  153 
Jones,  Commodore  Oliver,  150 


Kelly-Kenny,  General,  175 
Kelvin,  Lord,  147,  193,  245  et  teq. 
Kerr,  Lord  Walter,  145 


INDEX 


277 


Key,  Sir  Cooper,  147 

Kiamil  Pasha,  102,  104,  235 

Kiel  Canal,  the,  35,  135,  136 

Kiderlen-Waechter,  von,  203 

Kiernan,  John,  151,  152 

King  Edward,  19  et  seq.;  letter  from 

author  to,  21,  22;  his  tact,  23,  25, 

41,  64,  120,  124,  184,  186,  187,  191, 

192,  198,  199,  202,  206,  210,  223,  224, 

229,  231,  233,  253 
King  William,  226 
Kitchener,  Lord,  63,  65,  69,  71,  76, 

78,  85,  89,  90,  93,  112,  113,  177,  198, 

199,  236 
Knollys,  Sir  Francis,  21,  36,  37,  172, 

193 

Knox,  Mr.  Philander,  204 
Kruger,  Paul,  170 
Kuropatkin,  M.,  187 


Labouchere,  Mr.  Henry,  257,  259 

Lambert,  Mr.  George,  259 

Lansdowne,  Lord,  92 

Latimer,  Bishop,  127 

Law,  Mr.  Bonar,  92 

Learmonth,  Admiral,  137 

Lecky,  Rt.  Hon.  W.  E.  H.,  271,  272 

Leishman,  Mr.  John  G.  A.,  American 

Ambassador  to  Germany,  203,  204 
Lincoln,  Abraham,  254,  255 
Lister,  Lord,  244 
Lloyd  George,  Mr.,  67,  68,  70,  91,  136, 

186,  203,  212,  214,  216,  221 
Loubet,  President,  29,  232 
Ludendorff,  General  von,  47,  105,  114 
Lyttelton,  Sir  N.,  76 


M 


McClintock,  Admiral  Sir  Leopold,  147 
McCrea,  Mr.,  220 
Macgregor,  Sir  Evan,  118 
McKenna,  Mr.   Reginald,  55,  57,  58, 

74,  186,  193,  197,  199,  201,  205,  206 
McKenna,  Mrs.  Reginald,  57 
Mackenzie,  Sir  Thomas,  73,  74,  81 
Macnamara,  Dr.  T.  J.,  56,  58 
Madden,  Admiral  Sir  Charles,  112 
Magee,  Archbishop,  154 
Mahan,  Admiral,  23,  51,  187,  215 
Maxim,  Sir  Hiram,  225,  226,  244 
Maxse,  Mr.  Leo,  183 
Maxwell,  General,  173 
Mears,    Sir    Grimwood,    Secretary   to 

the  Dardanelles  Commission,  73 

MEMORIES 


Merchant  Navy,  the,  126,  127 

Milne,  Mr.,  144 

Mitchell,  Dr.  Weir,  274 

Moltke,     Field-Marshal    Count,    226, 

227,  267 
Moresby,  Admiral  J.,  letter  to  Lord 

Fisher,  274 

Morgenthau,  Mr.  H.,  94 
Morley,  Lord,  215,  255 
Munro,  General  Sir  Charles,  95 
Murray,  Mr.  George,  199 
Murray,  Sir  Oswyn,  118 


N 


Naples,  Queen  of,  160 

Napoleon,  35,  58,  164,  201 

Naval    War    Staffs    and    Admiralty 

clerks,  110  et  seq. 
Nelson,  35,  41,   43,   64,   77,   113,   115, 

117,  118,  124,  146,  151,  160  et  seq. 
Nicholson,  Field-Marshal  Lord,  76,  95 
Nicholson,  Mr.  W.  F.,  Ill 
Northbrook,  Lord,  159,  160,  239,  240 


O'Connell,  Daniel,  253 

Oldenburg,  Grand  Duke  of,  226,  229 

Olga,  Grand  Duchess,  228,  229;  letter 

to  Lord  Fisher,  230,  231 
Oliver,  Admiral  Sir  Henry,  112 
Orde,  Sir  John,  239 
Orloff,  Prince,  20,  231 


Palmerston,  Lord,  202 

Parker,  Sir  Hyde,  77 

Parsons,  Sir  Charles,  243 

Pepys,  Samuel,  118 

Perrin,  Mr.  W.  G.,  118 

Petersen,  Mr.,  126 

Phillips,  Mr.  J.  F.,  118 

Pitt,  Mr.,  35,  '50,  202 

Plumer,  General,  47,  173,  175 

Pohl,  Admiral  von,  44  et  seq. 

Pohl,  Frau  von,  45,  47,  113 

Polsonare  family,  the,  155 

Pope,  the,  and^Abdul  Hamid,  100  et 

seq. 
Probyn,  Sir  Dighton,  36 


Q 


Queen  Alexandra,  29,  36,  198,  238 
Queen  Victoria,  159 


278 


MEMORIES 


Rawlinson,  Sir  Henry,  126 
Redesdale,     Lord,     letter     to     Lord 

Fisher,  31 
Reich,  Herr  von,  on  "Dreadnoughts, 

31  «t  teg. 

Reid,  Sir  George,  199 
Reval,  228  et  teq. 
Rhodes,  Cecil,  48,  49 
Richmond,  Captain,  118 
Ridley,  Bishop,  126 
Roberts,  Lord,  66,  184 
Roch,  Mr.  W.  F.,  74 
Rodney,  Admiral,  165 
Roon,  Count  von,  226 
Roosevelt,  Mr.,  39 
Rosebery,  Lord,  43,  58,  62,  67,  143, 

160,  164,  243 
Rothschild,  Lord,  239 
Rousseau,  M.,  187 
Rozhdestvensky,  Admiral,  115 
Runciman,  Mr.  Walter,  58 
Russia,  Emperor  of,  191,  245 


S 


St.  Vincent,  Lord,  181 

Salisbury,  Lord,  103,  203 

Sampson,  Admiral,  223 

Samuel,  Mr.  Herbert,  56 

Samuel,  Sir  Marcus,  123 

Sanders,  Marshal  Liraan  von,  95,  106 

Scapa  Flow,  46 

Schreiner,  Mr.  G.  A.,  94 

Schwab,  Mr.,  262 

Schwartzhoff,  Gross  von,  113,  114,  211 

Scott,  Mr.  Robert  Falconer,  165  n 

Scott,  Sir  Percy,  243,  244 

Seely,  General,  215 

Selborne,  Lord,  171,  240,  241 

Shipbuilding,     new,     inaugurated    by 

Lord  Fisher,  96  et  teq. 
Sinclair,  Commodore  Hugh  Paget,  259 
Slade,  General  F.  G.,  175,  176 
Smith,  Sir.  F.  E.,  184 
Smith,  Sir  Thomas,  245 
Smith-Dor rien,  General,  170,  173,  175 
Some  Personalities,  237  et  teq. 
Southey,  243 

Special  Missions,  some,  226  «t  teq. 
Spec,  Admiral  von,  50,  88,  140,  141, 

273 

Spencer,  Lord,  237,  239,  240 
Stead,  Mr.  W.  T.,  51,  171,  172,  197, 

243,  255,  256,  257 
Stolypin,  M.,  187,  228,  232,  233 
Stopford,  Sir  F.,  173 


Submarines,  Lord  Fisher's  Memoran- 
dum on,  97,  99 
Swift,  Dean,  267 


Taft,  Mr.,  202 

Tall,  Isaac,  154 

Taylor,  Bishop  Jeremy,  121 

Tennyson-D'Eyncourt,     Sir     Eustace, 

250,  252 

Thomas,  Mr.  Holt,  131,  132 
Thompson,  Mr.,  222 
Thomson,    Sir    William,    see    Kelvin, 

Lord 
Tirpitz,  Admiral  von,  33,  44  et  teq., 

106,  184 

Togo,  Admiral,  115 
Treves,  Sir  Frederick,  253,  245 
Troubridge,  Sir  Thomas,  158,  163 
Tryon,  Sir  George,  150 
Tweedmouth,  Lord,  23 
Tyrwhitt,  Sir  Reginald  Yorke,  171 


Villa  Vieja,  Marquis  de,  230 

W 

Walker,  Sir  Charles,  118 

Warburton,  Eliot,  43 

War  Council  Meetings,  Lord  Fisher's 
notes  of  his  special  intervention  at, 
88  et  seq. 

Ward,  Sir  Joseph,  193 

Warren,    Sir    Herbert,    272 

Washington,  George,  221,  224 

Watts,  Dr.,  121 

Watts,  Sir  Philip,  187,  250,  252 

Weymouth,  Admiral,  128 

White,  Mr.  Arnold,  256 

White,  Sir  William,  104 

Wilmot,  Admiral  Sir  S.  Eardley,  let- 
ter to  Lord  Fisher,  134 

Wilson,  Mr.  A.  K.,  199,  205 

Wilson,  Sir  Arthur,  110,  183,  194,  195, 
197,  200,  241,  242 

Wilson,  Mr.  Havelock,  126 

Wilson,  President,  202,  220 

Wolff,  Sir  Drummond,  225 

Woolward,  Captain  Robert,  148 


Yarrow,  Sir  Alfred,  123,  260  «t  teq. 
Yelveiton,  Sir  Hastings,  228 


Zeebrugge,  63,  70,  86,  89,  91,  126 


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